Anyone in a similar position?

[elle101]

Hey everyone, I'm new to the forum and just wanted to ask if there were any young mums out there who were pregnant and at uni, or have a child and are juggling uni and work. I don't consider mysef overly young for having a child, yet I get comments from people about being too young, yet others expect that it should be no different to being older. I kinda feel I'm stuck in the middle.
I'm doing my second year of a teaching degree have just turned 21 and would like to talk to anyone whose managing it, as I am very scared. There is a lot of pressure on me to finish from my family and friends yet I don't know if I'm up to it. I have also found uni's to be not very mum friendly, ours doen't even have a child care facility. It is freaking me out. I'm on holidays now thankfully but am going back part time next semester for two subjects, the baby is due one week after I start. I found being pregnant at uni so hard as I suffered from very bad morning sickness, exhaustion and live about 1.5 hours drive from there. Lecturers are not always sympathetic. I'm sorry if I sound like I'm whinging but I feel I have no where to vent these frustrations, plus the only women at my uni who are preggers are post grad and seem a lot older then me. Any one else in my position or a similar position? I'd love to hear from you! This seems like a very supportive forum.
:)
Elle (21)
Greg (25)
Tara (due July 30)

[stellaj]

Hello,

I was at uni studying social work when i was pregnant and then after i had my son. It was a bit tough i guess as i had to 'grow up' while all my friends were partying still, also i think it was a bit of a novelty to have a pregnant uni friend.

I guess the most important thing is to commit to finishing uni if thats what you want to do. I went to part-time after Connor was born so my degree took me 5 and a half years instead of 4. I think i actually did better as far as marks go though as I was doing assignments etc. while i breast fed him etc.! You will be fine, just do what you can ad if you need to defer a year or go part-time it really doesn't matter in the end. I am so glad i finished my degree although there were times i wanted to chuck it all in.

If you are getting a hard time from lecturers etc. go and see the welfare officer at the student union, they can really help you out.

Good luck and write me if you want to talk more.

Mel :)

[elle101]

:) hey stella, good on you for finishing! I have made the decision to finish too and I think I may do what you have, that is go part time. I think I was being a bit ambitious trying to do the full ime thing so I could finish as early as possible and please family. I tried to contact the equity officer, but turns out we don't have one at the moment, she's on leave and we share her with another uni. My uni friends are so cool, but most have them have just finished school and understandably see it as a novelty... I find the general asumption is that if you are a recent school leaver then you are generally considered infertile by family, friends and uni. It sucks a bit but makes me more determined to finish. I could give em all a nice shock and take her to lectures and have a good breastfeeding session during english or education lectures. Anyways thanks for your imput! :)

[BlueGin]

Hi Elle, just a quick note regarding your post. I am trying for a baby and 2nd year teaching degree too, so was really glad to see your post! I am always interested in how people are coping. I have deferred my degree in the past so I wont have any option to defer subjects again sadly, but like you there is a heck of a lot of family pressure (and the usual "assumption" that I wont finish the degree). I am comitted to finishing though so good luck to you in getting through it. Just wondering, I am at Melbourne Uni now, but I was at Western Sydney for a while where they had great childcare options, is it something that you would consider to transfer to a more child friendly uni? It is definitely a major move, but some are so great with childcare, and even let kids come to some classes. Good luck in whatever you decide to do, and keep us posted :D

[Tea Lady]

Have you considered doing your subjects externally? I didn't have a baby when I was doing ed. but I did a couple of external subjects and they were soooooo much better - much more comprehensive notes, work at your own pace and best of all NO TUTORIALS!!! I think it would be easier to do at least some subjects this way since babies never seem to perform "on schedule" ( at least mine doesn't!) and that would make it really hard to be at lectures etc on time. Also in theory you could save heaps on childcare if you studied at home. BTW at my uni (QUT) it didn't matter where you lived - anyone could study externally.

Hope this helps.

Lucy

[rbloo]

I don't know about managing it but somehow I did it! I finished grade twelve and then went to Uni while my son was still tiny. It was an interesting combination, studying for exams during teething times etc but it certainly served to make life interesting.

I put my son with a wonderful daycare mum who was flexible enough to accomodate my ever-changing timetable. And created quite a routine for us (that revolved around him being in bed early enough for me to write assignments). Generally I left my son with his daycare mum for one whole day that wasn't part of my timetable...that way I could study, write, go to the library etc without having to worry about disrupting him.

Certainlly you're different from the other students. You feel older (god knows I did) but look the same. You have more responsibility even though they moan more loudly. And you probably get your assignments in on time while they're compaining about having been 'too busy'. But don't despair!

My friends at uni gave me the childhood I missed. They taught me to play pool between lectures, took me partying (when i could arrange a babysitter) and generally reminded me that I was young, fun and human!

Don't let what others think determine your outcomes for you. I now have a Masters in Educational Management to go with my degree and have just finished writing my first book (about teen parenting!). Just keep your eyes on the prize and you'll be amazed at the things you can do.

Bec

[Hokey Pokey]

I had my first daughter the day I was to start year 10 (I was 15). I had that year off to look after Olivia and went back and finished my HSC. I then went on to do college and then fell pregnant with my second. It can be done if you put ur mind to it! I did it and proved everyone wrong that I was not a failure!
I am seriously considering doing Uni nezt year - nursing as my youngest will be 3, so was glad to stumble over this post...

[summerly]

I had my daughter when I was 21, in second year uni. I had to quit for a while because I was so sick when I was pregnant. After she was born I studied at home for 6 months and then quit entirely. I just couldn't cope with study on the amount of sleep I was getting and I felt so guilty leaving my baby for any amount of time. I still managed to pass somehow, but I just churned it out, I don't remember actually learning anything. Bit of a prefectionist, I like to do something and give it 100% and i thought that my baby was the priority. We are TTC #2 at the moment and I will stay at home probably until #2 is about 18 months before trying to go back to uni again. I also want to do nursing and I think it best if I have a clear head for it, don't want to have anyone's life in my hands while I am walking around like a sleep deprived zombie. I truly admire those who manage to work and study and have their kids at the same time. You guys are great! :)

[jarrahsmumma]

Hi all,
got my letter the other day saying "congratualtion you will be graduating..." i just picked up my 7 month old baby boy and hugged him and cried. I felt so proud. I did it. At times was very tough trying so cope with shooting a film and morning sickness. This is a testament that young mums are great and can do anything we set our minds to, just because we got bubs doesnnt mean we are stupid or irresponsible. we are amazing, wonderful women raising wonderful, amazing kids.

thanks, good luck to all you other mums out there getting their HSC, TEE, degrees and certificates (and everything else :))

peace
natalie

[celeste]

Hi There, I am new to bubhub but I just wanted to say that it's really inspiring to hear these stories. I am a recently married 22 year old who is trying to get pregnant. Even though I have two more years of my law degree I have really looked into it and now seems like the best time to have a baby in terms of work/family. I am blessed to be able to listen to my lectures online and my uni has a childcare co-operative which is free to all students! On top of that the Maternity allowance from Centrelink is pretty good these days and would give us just that extra bit more that we need. I think that because we live in a society where career's are given so much value it takes a lot of organising, especially in law. I was told that if I want to keep a law job that I would have to wait at least four years to gain security before having children. But, I really think that if you want a child then it can work in any circumstance. I was wondering if those who are studying have partners who work or study also?

[shinebrite]

Well im not in your situation but i know that my mum had me just before going to uni and had my brother and sister whilst studying. My dad didnt look after us he sat on his *** and did nothing (theyre divorced now thank God)
She did and i think whatever you set your mind to you can do it
GOOD LUCK :D