6 year old DD with major attitude problem, making me sad

[Mellymoo]

Hello

[lavagirl]

HI, I went through this with my eldest dd. I can only suggest you stick to your guns :yes:
When she wants something and you say no...that's it, end of conversation and let her know there will be no more 'but..I want it..!' Don't argue with her as she'll just do it back. Change the conversation or just ignore her.

When she is simply being rude, send her to her room. My dd used to give filthy looks and stomp about, we'd tell her to go to her room as we dont want to have that attitude near us, and she's not to come out untill she says sorry and gives us a hug.

Perhaps start banning privleges like tv, pc, any games (x-box ect..).

Then there is the reward side...offer to go to the park, the movies, her pick of dvd's, her pick for takeway ect for when she's behaving/appolagized ect.

It's a very hard stage, but you really need to keep to your rules and she has to learn to accept them. Good luck :hugs:

[SpottySocks]

Have you tried a sticker/reward chart? I don't know if 6 is too old for one. My DD is now 5 but when the new baby came along 8 months ago she went through stage of not doing what we asked and became quite demanding. We used a sticker chart for things around the house - packing her toys away, playing nicely, saying please & thankyou, eating her tea, etc. It worked really well, every time she got a sticker she also got lots of praise and hugs from us, gradually we stopped the stickers and she was happy to be getting the praise & attention from us. When she got 10 star stickers in a row she was allowed to choose a treat - usually a chocolate frog!

Maybe your DD also needs some one on one time with yourself or your DH - try trips to the park etc where he can play with her and there aren't lollies & toys that she can ask for. If a trip to the park goes well then she could get a star on her chart. Even just some time outside in the backyard together might help.

Packing up toys is always an issue for for my DD2, we tried taking them away if she wouldn't put them away when asked, but that didn't really bother her. Now I try to make a game of it, race to finish etc. Also at lunch time, snack time etc things have to be packed away, I usually end up having to help her, but as long as she does it along side of me I'm happy.

Sorry :hugs: I'm probably not much help. Hope you get some good ideas.

[Nan]

What are you doing in regards to consequences? If you've decided that her attitude won't be tolerated (and it seems to me you have!), you need to give her a consequence/punishment whatever you want to call it. Its like anything they do wrong. If she isn't doing what you want or is displaying behaviour you think is not on, then she needs an appropriate consequence.
In other words, as soon as she says "but I want" or "I want it now" you give the consequence so that she knows where your boundary is and learns not to step over it.

Sorry I'm not much help with exactly what sort of consequence, but I believe you and your DH need to come up with this together & it should be something you can do when you're out and about.

Hopefully she changes her behaviour for you soon. :fingerscrossed:

[Mrs Potts]

I agree with lavagirl and Nan's posts.

Your DD sounds like a typical 6 yr old girl, from what I've seen/heard from friends with girls this age. And I know from experience with my DS that it's not all gender exclusive either.

I also do what lavagirl suggested about sending to their room when they start to give attitude/backchat/rudeness etc. They have a right to be peeved at whatever it is they're peeved at, but I don't have to listen to them carry on about it.

Spottysocks idea isn't without merit, but I think at age 6 she might be a bit old for a sticker chart, but you might be able to work out some kind of reward system that you feel is appropriate for your DD.

Good luck, I know how heartbreaking it is when you think you've done all the right things and they still tell you that they hate you!:hugs:

[blackdog]

HI, I went through this with my eldest dd. I can only suggest you stick to your guns :yes:
When she wants something and you say no...that's it, end of conversation and let her know there will be no more 'but..I want it..!' Don't argue with her as she'll just do it back. Change the conversation or just ignore her.

When she is simply being rude, send her to her room. My dd used to give filthy looks and stomp about, we'd tell her to go to her room as we dont want to have that attitude near us, and she's not to come out untill she says sorry and gives us a hug.

Perhaps start banning privleges like tv, pc, any games (x-box ect..).

Then there is the reward side...offer to go to the park, the movies, her pick of dvd's, her pick for takeway ect for when she's behaving/appolagized ect.

It's a very hard stage, but you really need to keep to your rules and she has to learn to accept them. Good luck :hugs:
:iagree:

My 6 year old has a temper. Now, she takes herself to her room when she is feeling cranky.:laughing:

Is she getting enough sleep? My Miss6 can be unbearable when she is tired.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Ok so I'm no expert as he is only my step-son and we have issues anyway..

But I have found that making a clear boundary of what is and isn't ok, and what will happen if the boundary is crossed makes things easier.

It seems to be that if he knows what to expect in response to his behaviour, that he is more aware of making a choice to show behaviour in accordance with the response he is wanting.

I don't know if that helps at all... But it helps here. :o

[MummyDaddy]

DH is still upset with her and hasn't been talking to her the last couple of days.:banghead:

Are you serious? How old is he? Does he realise she is a child! Behaving that way won't fix the problem, won't make her behave - if anything it will make her worse.

She is behaving in a way that she has figured out works for her. You need to sit down as a couple and reassess how you are parenting. How much time do you spend with her. Is she enjoying school. Are things going okay for her. Maybe she's being bullied and doesn't want to say.

Children usually mimic behaviour they have seen. Maybe she has seen another child behave this way. Is this something she has just started doing?

Good luck - it is difficult when children act up, but i'm sure you can figure out what the issue is and work through it with her.

Quite often children behave badly because they are not receiving enough attention. Bad behaviour brings attention - whether it's good or not - the child doesn't care - at least it is attention.