Tearing our hair out

[Mahjong]

Hi, Im hoping to get some advice from mum's and dad's out there who may have had the same problem with their child/ren.

Our son is 18 months, for a while he was sleeping through the night or just waking once for his dummy and then going straight back to sleep. This is all out the window now though, ever since he had gastro 2 weeks ago.

Now he's doing this.

Going to sleep at 7pm with a bottle
Waking at around 1130-Midnight, we got in and give him his dummy and put his covers back on and then leave the room. He thens whinges and yabbers and carries on for 2-3 HOURS and then finally going back to sleep. :mad: We've always made sure that he's not Cold/Hot, has a pain, is not wet from his nappy leaking, he has his dummy, etc to no avail.

Last night was a shocker, he was awake at 1130 and did not go back to sleep till 2.30am! We tried the bonjella, panadol, a drink, snuggling with us, heater on etc to no avail. He FINALLY went back to sleep of his own accord, after we ignored him. He was laughing at us everytime we went into his room.

HELP US PLEASE. Mummy and Daddy are very sleep deprived. He has never been the best of sleepers, but this is getting ridiculous. We've tried the Sleep centre when he was younger, that left a bitter taste in our mouths unfortunately.

Thanks you!

Sleepy Mummy.

[poshBecks]

:wave: HI

Cj is 2. He has recently started doing a similar thing. He was crook, now getting him back into his routine is a trick.

When I go in, I do all the checks also. I try what I can to settle him. If nothing is working. I simply give up & let him sort himself out.

He will usually cry for a bit when I go out of the room. But soon falls asleep again.

I figure if nothing I am doing is working... he just needs to cry it out.... :o

Good luck....
(now I'm off to post my own Q about sleeping!! hehehe)
:hugs:

[JorBai]

Hi Beth,

This is such a hard one, and also my answer to you may be a little contraversial and I am not meaning it to be, so ignore this if it doesnt suit you.

If you have checked everything and he is not cold/hot, wet etc then i would just (as hard as it is) plain ignore it.

As you said he is smiling/laughing when you come in, then I think he is just playing a game and if he is getting your attention he will keep doing it.

I think you may already know but when Bailey was about 4 months I was still rocking him to sleep which i was happy to do but it became hard when he would wake as soon as i put him down. So what i did was put him in his cot and try the whole C/C thing and it worked for us. I was just outside the door but when he realised that I wasnt going to pick him up he just rolled over and went to sleep.

Now he is just the perfect lil sleeper and craves his cot. I know all babies are different but I think with Wyatt, maybe if he thinks you will keep coming into him he will keep trying this.

Good Luck Beth, Hope you find what works for you!

Leanne

[Mahjong]

Thanks girls :D . Daniel and I also talked about letting him sort it for himself after checking the usual things like I mentioned about. What you have both said has reassured me :)

I think the only solution now is to try what you have both said, he needs to learn and sort it out and go back to sleep on his own. How many nights roughly does it take? We did the controlled crying when he was about 6-7 months, but I have completely forgotten how long it took as I was a Zombie back then.

I think he's hit that stage where he thinks he can wrap us around his finger tighter and call the shots.

Mummy and Daddy need to be strong and get through this LOL! Daniel can tolerate the whinging and crying longer than I can though :(

We will give it a try tonight!

[JorBai]

C/C- For Bailey it only took 1day but some people say a few days. Depends on each individual child.

Sounds like he has got you rapped around his little finger- Cheeky monster! LOL

Sometimes i think bailey has us wrapped around his finger too haha!

[poshBecks]

this is it.... once they know how to press our buttons, they keep doing it.... just be strong!! :D

[Mahjong]

Thanks Leanne and Becky :) I'll let you know how I go :)

Wy's been very cheeky lately and now has the attitude of a hormonal teenager at times now :banghead:

[natasha]

My DD has just started doing this (17 months nearly). She goes to bed round 7ish, wakes round midnight and starts jabbering and playing like she thinks it's time to get up!!:rolleyes: I have learnt that it's best if I go in only if she starts getting upset. Otherwise she will play in her cot for like an hour and then go back to sleep! Wierd hey! Just make sure you have a few toys in their for him to play with.

If DD starts crying, I go in, don't give any eye contact, check her nappy, hot/cold, pop her dummy back in and walk out. If it continues I just do the whole CC shebang.

Usually she gors back to sleep by herself these days. My advice is to leave them to play in their cots with some toys in the middle of the night, only go in if he starts crying and just try the whole CC again.;)

[JorBai]

Must be an age thing...

Oh no so I have this all to look forward too!!!!!:eek: LOL

[*Chels*]

Hi Beth!
You know what?If it makes you feel any better,I think kids who dont sleep much are actually very clever!!My theory is that their lil brains are constantly ticking away,thinking and processing stuff so it keeps them awake!!
So lil Wyatt is really a genius;)
Love Chels

[Mahjong]

Thanks Chels :kiss: He is a smart little chicken I will give him that :laughing:

Mum tends to say if he wont sleep he's having a "Learning day" and if he wants to sleep it's a "Growing day"

Just wish he would have a few more "Growing days" from time to time LOL!

[BiLL|z0r]

Just an update every1. Wyatt started to sleep much better as each night came along without any controlled crying or anything. That was until 2 night ago. The last 2 nights he goes to bed fine, sleeps for 4-5hrs, then wakes, put his dummy in and he goes back to sleep for 15-30mins, then it's temper time for 3hrs or so. We try dummy again with bonjella (he loves that stuff and used to always settle him), we try heater on/off, he's not too wet, we try leaving him cry, we try cuddles we try sleeping in our bed & tried light on (dimmed). If he's picked up or with his mummy he's not upset but wants to play. As soon as he's placed back in his cot he screams for ages. Last night we left him 20mins to cry and scream (seemed like an hour) but was getting so upset we went in.

We know he just wants his mummy but how long do we leave him cry and cry and cry? We thought a child his age (18mths) should learn pretty quickly that mummy's not coming, sleep time, but he just keeps going. For those that used controlled crying, how long do you wait as it seems he'll cry forever.

The last 2 nights we've actually given him a 1/2 bottle after 3hrs of fighting. It has calmed him down enough. He still winges after he finishes it but only for a few mins then finally goes to sleep. He eats so much during the day though that I can't see how he's hungry. If we give him water he takes a sip and throws it aside and screams again.


HELP!!!


p.s. Even for his day sleep now, he screamed for 15mins or so before crashing. The terrible two's are early :thumbsdown: :no:

[Mahjong]

He's your son, not mine :laughing:

Unfortunately he's inherited the shocking temper and stubborness from me :thumbsdown:

[mamamianz]

have to agree with the trying to break the habit
mums & dads are much more fun when they aren't sleep deprived - can take up to 3 days but yeah some only take one night
thats my 2cents worth anyway
:wave:

[natasha]

Hi there, i'm sorry to say that if you want to use CC you have to be quite firm. It feels like your heart is going to break listening to them screaming, and sometimes, in the beggining, DD would scream for about an hour! Crying, then shouting and screaming, then crying again and then eventually she would cry herself out and fall asleep. I had to grit my teeth and bear this for a couple of days!:crying: I tried everything, even putting head phones in my ears blaring linkin park out to try and stop myself from going in!

As long as you know he's not in any danger, wet, cold, hungry etc, it isn't going to hurt them to leave them to cry for a while. Some people don't agree with CC but it worked for me and I have every faith it will work again.
Just a point though, if you decide to do CC, you mustn't let them cry for half an hour, and then break down and decide you just can't leave him any longer, as this just enforces to him that 'if i scream long enough she'l come in and get me'. And the next night he'l cry for longer because he's expecting you to come in like you did the first night. You have to make him see that mummy isn't coming in and it's time to sleep.

Have you ever tried being in the room whilst he's screaming. Like trying a different approach. I saw this once on TV. A mum sat in the corner of her sons room reading a book (or pretending to) whilst her little boy was screaming in his cot. She had tried every method she could think of and nothing was working. So, she sat in the corner, not giving him any attention, no eye contact at all, no speaking to him. The first night it took an hour to get him to sleep, the 2nd night it took 35 mins, the 3rd night he was asleep in 20 mins and by the forth night he was asleep in something like 5 mins. Something about them feeling safe and secure but knowing they are not going to be given any attention because it's time to sleep. That's is what she did from then on, sat and read for 5 mins, he goes asleep and then she can go. If he woke up in the night, she would go in an do it all again.

Hope this helps xxxxxx

Oh and if you do think in the middle of it all that he needs a drink, go out, get him a bottle, go in and place it in his cot, making sure he sees it's there, but giving hin NO eye contact and no attention, then leave the room immediately or go back and sit on the chair on the corner. That's what I do with DD and it worked for me.

[Mahjong]

Wow! Thank you for that info Natasha. Daniel and I are really lost as to what to do with him LOL!

I know we have to be firm, it's just so hard :thumbsdown:

[BiLL|z0r]

Thanks for your ideas Natasha. Beth likes Linkin Park too so sounds like a double good idea :) I didn't you had to wait that long (1hr). I figured by then they would have given up (I know I would).

We also live in a duplex so we're always worried about what the neighbours on the shared wall will say. Mind you, they are just as noisy in their day to day lives but that's another rant for another day.

[natasha]

[quote=BiLL|

We also live in a duplex so we're always worried about what the neighbours on the shared wall will say. Mind you, they are just as noisy in their day to day lives but that's another rant for another day.[/quote]

Well, funny you should mention that! As l live in an apatment block, and when we started to do CC with DD, we actually wrote a little letter to each of out neighbouring apartments explaining what we were going to be doing and apolgising in advance!!:p :laughing: You'l be quite suprised how understanding people are. :fingerscrossed: Good luck xxx

[BiLL|z0r]

Just an update. Wy slept much better last night. He woke 3 times at 12:30, 2a and 4:30a but each time we just his dummy in and made sure he wasn't and he went straight back to sleep. I think that last 2 nights before that he was teething as his cheeks were very red yesterday and he kept getting the kiccups which is what he does when he's teething.

[Mahjong]

Another update:

WHAT A **** NIGHT :thumbsdown: Wy started OK from when he went to bed at 7pm. He then woke at 1.30am and refused to go back to bed at all. Once we had done everything to make sure he was OK. We decided the controlled crying. I couldn't handle the crying so I did what Natasha suggested and went and listened to Linkin Park.

Half an hour later, Wyatt's still carrying on and now Im thinking the banging was him bashing the wall that is beside his cot. Nope, Daniel went in to see that Wyatt had mananged to climb out of his cot (he's 18 months!) and was preceeding to trash his room with his toys in the dark!

He came into our room for a cuddle and then started playing around so we took him back to bed and left him again. This time he stayed in the cot and howled again, this time half and hour later he gave up! We thought we had won!

He woke an hour later crying again, Daniel went into make sure he was OK again and then started the process again. 15 minutes later he gave up. :thumbsup:
He woke again at 5.30am, but was back asleep 5 mins later.

Then he's up for the day a 7am.

Hopefully he will start to get the message that 1am is not time to get up, no matter how much he tries.

Exhausted Beth :sleeping:

[Mahjong]

Help please again :(

Wyatt's now taking to whinging and moaning in his sleep from 10.30 - 1am most nights now :( We've just had him checked out for anything medical as he was sick last week.

We go in to check on him when he is moaning and groaning, he's fast asleep!

What do we do now? :( We're exhausted :(

[natasha]

I'd leave him hun, as most children start having dreams, and nightmares round this age it could just be that he's having a little nightmare. If he starts really crying then Id go in, but the whinging and sometimes whimpering, DD does that and I never go in unless its a proper 'I need my mummy' cry. If the noise is keeping you up at night, try closing your door a little, or his, You have to manage to get the doors closed enough that you can sleep but leave them open enough that you can hear him if he really starts crying.:rolleyes:
Thats the tricky part! We manage this by closing her door half way and closing our nearly all the way and having a windown open to hear the traffic! :eek: :rolleyes: Its how we sleep!!

[Mahjong]

Thanks Natasha :thumbsup: Glad to hear that Im not to only one that has a child that does this :hugs:

[vanillabean]

Our daughter sounds exactly like this and I am at my wits end as to what to do. She was previously a good sleeper. She has been doing this since she was 12 months old (now 16 1/2 months). She has not slept a full night through since then. She is finally getting the last of her first set of molars so I am praying this has been the issue. I am so sleep deprived, I remember what it is like to have a newborn.