Changing her surname once he's out of the country?

[SassyMummy]

Someone IRL suggested to me that it's possible for me to change my daughter's surname once my ex is out of the country, and not need his consent.

Does anyone know anything about this?

I didn't really think about it until she said it... but if he's leaving her forever, I don't really know why she should have his surname, and not mine. I'd rather she seemed "related on paper" to someone she actually knows... than a man who left her for a bit of sex overseas.

[princess niamh]

Thats a hard one.

I would leave it or give her a double barrel name.
Its a bit rough to take her name away IYKWIM.

I had my name changed as my dad left and I will be honest , I was really annoyed about it.

He might have left my mum..and me..( I guess...lol) but he is MY Dad and I felt robbed...But thats just me.

[Jakois]

Your best bet is to call your State Law institute For the answer Stacey.

It does vary from state to state I think..

[SassyMummy]

I wanted to give her a hyphenated name originally... and he agreed to that one.

But just... he's left her. For good. It's not just us breaking up... it's him, abandoning her.

Her name would not be changed if he had decided to be in her life.

She's 3, so she won't really care, either way. She won't even notice the change.

Her name will be MINE though, and will not be changed to the family name of any man that I might marry in future... I'll hyphenate MY name so that DD and my other children can both share a part of my surname. :)

[Bubs'n'Roses]

Personally, I'd change her name. I'm glad that my mother gave me HER last name instead of my fathers. If I had had his name, I would've changed it the second I turned 18. I would have hated to have a connection like my name to someone I didn't know - luckily your daughter is young.

This will sound horrible but when DD was born I was adamant she would take my last name on the off chance DP did end up taking off. We'd had a very rock few months before her birth, so it wasn't unwarranted. I knew he was in it for the long haul when we came home from the hospital but I still stand by my decision and given my past, DP has no problem with it.

[A Party of Five]

I have had three names changes and I think it's best to change it when your little girl is young as she will grow up with it IYKWIM

I'm glad that my Mum gave me her name and not my fathers.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

I can completely understand why you would want to do that.

Actually, from what I've heard, if I were in the same situation, I would most definitely change it.

I hope legally it works out for you ok. :)

I really wish I'd thought about that with my kids first though, the all have his name. Which in hindsight really sh!ts me.

[A Party of Five]

There is nothing stopping you if you want to change them all to your name!

[NibbleCurlynBub]

There is nothing stopping you if you want to change them all to your name!
Except his consent. ;)

[Larski]

Sassy, I would change her name. I dont mean to invalidate the post by princess niamh but I think your DD is young enough to not bat an eyelid. I think that a shared surname is such a strong indication of who the family unit is, and its definitely the two of you.

I have no idea about the legal requirements though...

[MissMetal]

I totally agree :yes:
If I were you, I would most definatly change it to my last name...
my little boy is getting my last name when he is born, as im not even putting the father on the birth cert...
why should they get that privilage if they clearly aren't in the picture?? stuff that!!!!
hope it works out for you hunny :hugs:

[Mum&bubs]

I'd change her name, I can understand why you'd want her to have your last name and not his, espeically if hes not going to be around for her to even know him.

I have no idea about what you have to do to change it though :laughing:

[JabberJaw]

You wont need his consent to change her name anyway, for a child all you have to do is let yr doctors surgery and her daycare that you want her assumed as surname X not surname Y, after 12 months you need to get a stat. dec. from yr Doctors Surgery and also Childcare centre and her name can be changed no questions asked. Simple.

I am with you, change her name.

[A Party of Five]

Except his consent. ;)

Really my Mum did it but that was a few years a go with out his consent.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Hmm well it will be something I will look into then.. along with a number of other options. :o

[Looshkin]

I think there is a way to do it.

A friend of mine and another ex friend of mine (the father who turned out to be a total jerk!) Well anyway he buggered off to the Caribbean and then miami for the last 3 years..

Anyway I'm not sure but she changed her sons surname and got him a passport without the dads permission..

So I think bugger that why should your daughter have the surname of someone who isn't even in her life? I think that just sends a confusing message if you're the primary care giver.

My mum left her partner and all 4 of us have HER sirname, I would be WAY more angry if I had my dads surname, who I have only met 3 times since I was 10 and haven't heard from in 10 years... really angry and would have just changed it as soon as I could legally anyway..

[333]

Really my Mum did it but that was a few years a go with out his consent.

I had my fathers name and tried to change it on numerous occasions when I was old enough to protest (12+) to no avail. Even though we completely cut contact with him, his consent was needed.:rolleyes:

I changed my name to DPs before bub was born and no matter what happens between us Im keeping it:D. Not having a different name to my kids :no:.





Sassy: If its legal, do it:thumbsup:.

[JabberJaw]

I'm with everyone.. if it's legal change it! :yes:

My DS has his "fathers" last name and I hate it... I never refer to him as it... always by mine... but DS's father refuses to let me change it or hyphenate it without stupid conditions that I refuse to do due to my sons safety.

He's taken off interstate and cut all contact with DS as well... :rolleyes: so IMO he shouldn't get a say... it's stupid how the law works sometimes.

I've heard of the stat dec thing too.... but the doctors surgery I go to has to have the name down as what is on the medicare card which is his "fathers" :rolleyes:

This baby... I want the last name hyphenated... because I want some part of the babies name mine just incase... but also because come hell or high water I will get DS's last name at least hyphenated... and I want them both to have some sort of tie between them as well!

But yes.... I say go for it! :yes:

Explain to them your situation, they can then call yr son as such and such X....his medicare forms will still have to be signed a Y though. Then after a year get them to sign the stat dec stating that you saw the GP in his assumed name for 12 months. They are not at liberty to refuse you. But like i said, his forms will still in his fathers ame for the year untill it is legal changed.

[princess niamh]

Sassy, I would change her name. I dont mean to invalidate the post by princess niamh but I think your DD is young enough to not bat an eyelid. I think that a shared surname is such a strong indication of who the family unit is, and its definitely the two of you.

I have no idea about the legal requirements though...


You are so nice. Thank you ..I dont feel invalidated at all.:hugs:

I think its such a personal thing and sass he sounds like he doesnt care that much so only you can make the right decision.
Go with your instincts.

My situation was a little different.

As for double barelling your name for your kids, thats just perfect.

[c2p08]

I wanted to give her a hyphenated name originally... and he agreed to that one.

But just... he's left her. For good. It's not just us breaking up... it's him, abandoning her.

Her name would not be changed if he had decided to be in her life.

She's 3, so she won't really care, either way. She won't even notice the change.

Her name will be MINE though, and will not be changed to the family name of any man that I might marry in future... I'll hyphenate MY name so that DD and my other children can both share a part of my surname. :)


i wanted to do this when i left my ex, but couldnt without his permission, i think if u want to change her name u have to go to court... from memory.

[SassyMummy]

Thanks everyone.

The main thing I have with hyphenating her name is how LONG it will be.

It will be...

****** ********* ** ********-*******

Which is super long. lol. The bolded is the addition of MY surname, so you can see how much shorter it is without mine, or without his.

I know that, were he living in Australia, I cannot change it without his permission. However, someone told me (and it might not be true, which is why I'm asking) that once he leaves the country (to live overseas) then I am able to, legally.

I've heard of the whole stat dec thing, but tbh, I'd rather just pay some money, sign a form, and have it done that way. Much easier. :p

I might have to google.

[kla]

You could try the office of Births, Deaths and Marriages for whatever state her birth was registered in. They should be able to give you some advice on how to go about changing her name.

Goodluck.

[jag5000]

would your ex sign the form Sassy?