Wedding vs Birthday

[Teegzie]

My older brother is finally marrying his girlfriend after 9 years together! I think this is wonderful as his girlfriend has been like another sister to me and is a really great woman!

However...

They have booked their wedding 2 days before my daughter's first birthday! :banghead: They booked the wedding after she was born, and it's not like it is a hard day to remember it's the 1st of June! I understand that they wanted to get married at a popular place and the only days available were 2 days before DD's birthday or Anzac day. As my older sister (and one of the bridesmaids) is in the Army, as is her husband and my younger sister, Anzac day is out. But really my daughter only gets one 1st birthday abd now it will all but be forgotten with the hooplah surrounding the wedding! :(

Am I being overly sensitive about this? I decided I wanted DD at her home for her birthday, which means flying home the day after the wedding (we are in Qld the wedding is in WA) and now my family are annoyed we won't be over for longer to fully celebrate the wedding! :mad:

[mum23girls]

You know, a first birthday is really for the parents as bubby's really don't know what the heck is going on anyway :laughing:

Is there any way of celebrating over there (as your family are there anyway) and then having another party over in bris maybe a week later for family over there?

[poshBecks]

I dont see why you cant celebrate her b'day in WA.... afterall she wont really remember her 1st birthday.
I am sure you could still make it a really special time with the family.
Why not have another celebration when you get home? Extended birthdays are great!! :thumbsup:

[cath]

I would just celebrate your daughter's birthday on the next weekend (I am presuming your daughter's birthday is on the Monday). I would maybe have a small token celebration with your family who will be there on the Sunday (like a cake and sing happy birthday) and if you want to do a party or whatever do it the next weekend. Your daughter will be totally oblivious about the whole thing (where she is, the fact that it is her birthday) - it will be a special day for you no matter where you are. Enjoy the wedding.

[megaminz]

I have to be honest most people wouldn't even think about other people when setting date for their wedding. Its a date that suits and excites them and them only so try not to hold any bad feelings towards tehm about the date.

Like other PPs have said your child won't even remember her first bday so perhaps you can just have a lovely celebration with your family around who are enjoying a wedding?

[amandaw]

:laughing: If you organise to do something on the Sunday over there, your brother and SIL will probably feel like it's you trying to take the edge off them rather than the other way around :laughing:

I don't think there's a lot you can do in this instance - as you've stated, there is a reason for it being that particular weekend and it wasn't to upset you. I'd say take the chance to indulge everyone and have 2 celebrations - one there and one in Brisbane when you get back (completely understand the wanting to be back home for her birthday though)

[SassyMummy]

Honestly, your child will not care.

It might be nice to stay over there for her birthday to have it with that side of the family... and then, when you return home, have another party with the friends and family at home.

First Birthdays are usually about parents, not about the kid. She just won't care, or even know, that it's her birthday anyway, so I wouldn't stress.

The wedding is important, and you really should go. If they wanna see you for longer, why can't you leave to go there earlier, and come home the day after the wedding? Then you can see everyone BEFORE the wedding, and they won't have any reason to sulk either.

[Mathermy]

A first birthday, albeit a very special event for mummy and daddy is but one of many that she will have, and one of the only few that she won't actually remember :)

A wedding is but once in a lifetime (or at least that is the intention:eek::laughing:) so I think in this scenario the wedding wins, sorry :o

I have had many many birthdays some of which were celebrated after and even before, none of which were any less special to me so perhaps that's an option?

I think it only has to be as traumatic as you make it, try to let go of the perfect first b'day ideal in your head (they often end in over exhaustion, tears and tantrums anyhow;)) and make the best of it. I think you will all be happier for it.:goodvibes:

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

I would just have the birthday celebration a week late. No biggy.

[Vespa]

I would take it as an opportunity to have a bonza 1st birthday while in WA where all the family will be for the wedding. I wouldn't fly home the day after the wedding as on her birthday bub will be tired from the wedding festivities and the plane flight.

I would just work with what you have, do a big get together while over there, if you are still set on a big do when you get back, have one the following wk end.

My daughters birthday is in a few weeks, she will be having celebrations and who ha the following week as we have a wedding also to attend on her actual birthday. She is fine about the whole situation. Babies dont remember there first birthdays anyway

[Teegzie]

I have to be honest most people wouldn't even think about other people when setting date for their wedding. Its a date that suits and excites them and them only so try not to hold any bad feelings towards tehm about the date.


This is what annoys me most! They didn't even know it would be 2 days before DD's first birthday even though she was only born 2 months before they booked! I wouldn't have minded so much either if they had even ackowledged it in the first place! When it was brought up they both looked blank and said "oh yeah... she was born the same day as [random friend]'s little boy wasn't she!". Even my Mum (who can see no wrong in her son) thought that was a bit rude, to remember a friends childs birthday and not their neice's!

I know my daughter's first birthday will really be something for my partner and I but I would like her to be happy and comfortable when we celebrate it. I'm happy to have a little party before the wedding in WA for my family and friends, but would like DD to be happy in her own home with people she knows well (which is terrible that she won't really know my family!). I just like the idea of her being in her element so even if she doesn't remember I will know she had a wonderful time in the place she feels happiest! :)

I just don't see why people are annoyed we want to be at home for her birthday because it will cut the wedding celebrations short, when the wedding will be over and we plan to be there for a week or so before hand. :rolleyes:

[Deserama]

I think you are being a tad oversensitive here. They're getting married it's not like they organised a tupperware party ;) I agree with what the others have said. Sweetie...she's not going to care - trust me!! I've gone through it 5 times.... ;)

[Aquillah]

I'm sorry, but I think your attitude is a little off. A wedding is a big deal and done once. Like you pointed out, there was only two days avaiable. Also, its not like they are having the wedding on your daughters birthday? I tell you a lot of people wouldnt stop their weddings if there nieces or newphews first birthday party was a couple of days around the wedding. You start worrying about other peoples special days and worries and you never end up having what you want which you should on your own wedding

What do you want from the situation? For them to cancel? Not have it in the same week/month?

I know they are probably seeming a little selfish, but if they arent parents yet they really proabaly cant see why you are upset over a birthday party (even though it is important to you and your partner) I would have thought it would have being a great way to catch up with all the family and then come home to a family one. The birthday is about your daughter and she isnt going to know if it was ont he actual day or not. This is your frustation showing and maybe you need to decide wether this worth getting yourself upset over?

If it is, say your peace to your family and let them know what an important time this is and you need to be acknowlegded.

Goodluck:flowerz:

[Teegzie]

I guess I am being a bit melodramatic. She's my daughter, not theirs, so they shouldn't have to care about it!


Although I did have a bit of a :devil: moment when my little sister anounced she was pregnant and her EDD is the same day as my DD's birthday, so she wouldn't be attending the wedding. My brother got annoyed that if she gave birth before or on his wedding day it would take attention away from him!
Ok... I'm horrible! But I couldn't help but laugh that they thought she had planned to be due that day! :rolleyes:

[Chub Chub]

You know brothers are bad at remembering the neice/nephews birthdays don't you?

Celebrate you DD's birthday earlier or later.

To be entirely honest sounds like there is a little bit of sibling rilvary going on:o.

[KatiesMum]

I guess I am being a bit melodramatic. She's my daughter, not theirs, so they shouldn't have to care about it!


Although I did have a bit of a :devil: moment when my little sister anounced she was pregnant and her EDD is the same day as my DD's birthday, so she wouldn't be attending the wedding. My brother got annoyed that if she gave birth before or on his wedding day it would take attention away from him!
Ok... I'm horrible! But I couldn't help but laugh that they thought she had planned to be due that day! :rolleyes:

:laughing: you do have to have a laugh at fate dont you.

I do agree though - go to the wedding, and then make a big deal afterwards about how important your DD's birthday is to you (and how proud her grandparents and aunty and uncle should be :p) ..

Going home to celebrate that after the wedding shouldnt be any hassles though - I dont understand the drama

[littlemissmoi]

I do think it would be a lovely time for everyone to be together, to be honest...

My brother just got married last August and cause we're all over the place, it was the first time my parents and brothers and sister (i'm one of 5 kids) have all been together since 2003! My husband was the only one who missed out, because he was working overseas at the time and it was only a month before my due date, so he came home for that, rather than the wedding.

It was simply THE BEST time, hanging out with all the family, and meeting the new neices and nephews (and in my case, having my siblings and siblings-in-law meet my 8-month-pregnant tummy).

Your DDs birthday could be a lovely special time hanging out with her grandparents, aunts and uncles (and cousins? I'm not sure), so make the most of it... when everyone in your family starts to have kids, you never know WHEN you'll all get together again.

[kayla]

I don't see what the big deal is about the dates because you can either celebrate her birthday with all the family in WA after the wedding or just wait until the following week. I understand its your first child and you want to make the best of it but as long as you have a cake and family there its just as special