Has anyone had negative results with AP parenting?

[Madi]

I noticed while lurking around the AP support thread that many mums say how contented their bubs are.

I am often told how lucky I am to have such a contented happy little bub. I feel that while this may be a reflection of his personality, I like to think that part of it has to do with the various AP methods Dh and I follow.

So my question is, has anyone found that although they wanted to parent AP style, their bub just didn't respond well?

I guess a second part to that question is, if your bub is a contented bub, do you feel it's partly/mostly due to the AP methods?

Madi

feeling curious tonight.... :detective:

[misskittyfantastico]

I have never truly AP'd as my DD will not co-sleep but without rocking, breastfeeding, baby wearing etc my Bub would NOT be a happy camper:thumbsup:

[Funkychicken]

Hi madi,
Not sure if I completely understand your question. Just wondering how you would define negative results?:)

[MonkeyMum05]

I'm not quite sure what kind of responses you are looking for... but here goes!
I'm not really sure what the definition of 'Attachemnt Parenting' is... but my little man slept in our bed until about 7 months, demand fed etc... I stopped because it stopped working for us.
He started waking up in bed every hour or so and not settling back to sleep... He only slept throughout the day if I was laying down feeding him... (Needed a nipple in his mouth to sleep!)
He was not getting enough sleep, and neither were we. Even if he was really tired, he wouldn't go to sleep... and if he did fall asleep feeding, it would be shortlived.
Hubby used to say 'he just doesn't want to miss out on anything'...lol.

In the end, i went against my better judgment and motherly instinct and got a bit 'tougher' with him... ie - let him have a bit of a sook, and taught him to sleep without a nipple in his mouth. It took less than a week and he was sleeping in his own cot... getting a much more sufficient amount of sleep, and his feeds began to regulate a bit more, (rather than just snacking constantly through out the day.)
He was a much happier baby for it, and I was a much more sane mummy.

[MrsMiggins]

I have never really looked fully into the whole AP thing, but I think I get the general gist of it.

I guess I partly AP (is that possible?!) in that I always have Claire on or near me, except when she's sleeping. She did sleep with us for a while there, but we found she (and us!) slept a lot better when she was in her own bed. She gets rocked & fed to sleep every night & every nap time, except when she falls asleep in the car.

I have only done it all this way because Claire would scream the place down if I even so much as thought about putting her down when she was a newborn, so I just kept it up because that is what we are all used to.

She has been fully bottle-fed from about 3 months due to insurmountable breastfeeding problems, otherwise she'd have been fully breastfed.

I don't know if I'd say this was a negative outcome, but she does seem to be a bit more grizzly than other bubs if for some reason she is left to her own devices for a while. Although I'm not even sure if this is because she wants to be picked up or held, I get the impression that it's more due to the fact that she's frustrated & wants to be walking around!

[MonkeyMum05]

I just wanted to add something...

...even now, my little boy (now 11months) sleeps much better on his own. When I put him to bed, he protests... and as soon as I leave the room, he stops.:o
Each little bubba has a different personality... and so different approaches to parenting are needed.

[Funkychicken]

I'm not quite sure what kind of responses you are looking for... but here goes!
I'm not really sure what the definition of 'Attachemnt Parenting' is... but my little man slept in our bed until about 7 months, demand fed etc... I stopped because it stopped working for us.
He started waking up in bed every hour or so and not settling back to sleep... He only slept throughout the day if I was laying down feeding him... (Needed a nipple in his mouth to sleep!)
He was not getting enough sleep, and neither were we. Even if he was really tired, he wouldn't go to sleep... and if he did fall asleep feeding, it would be shortlived.
Hubby used to say 'he just doesn't want to miss out on anything'...lol.

In the end, i went against my better judgment and motherly instinct and got a bit 'tougher' with him... ie - let him have a bit of a sook, and taught him to sleep without a nipple in his mouth. It took less than a week and he was sleeping in his own cot... getting a much more sufficient amount of sleep, and his feeds began to regulate a bit more, (rather than just snacking constantly through out the day.)
He was a much happier baby for it, and I was a much more sane mummy.
LOL-this was me with DS#1-wouldn't sleep unless he had a nipple in his mouth and then he would wake because he had wind and then I would put the nipple back in to get him back to sleep and so it went on.....We also both had to learn how to have him get himself to sleep as he wasn't getting the rest he wanted/needed. A few days of settling him in his cot but with me present and suddenly we were all happier...and saner! Ah the memories of first time parenthood!:laughing:

[MonkeyMum05]

Oh, good... I'm glad that someone can relate to my story!

Sometimes I feel like a bit of a failure, because I couldn't do the full-on AP thing... but then I look at what a happy, securely attached little bub he is, and I know I did what was best for him.

[Baby Girl]

I personally think that there are positives and negatives to any style of parenting. The only truly positive way is the way that works for each individual family.

We are part AP people!! Some parts of it work for us, some don't!!

I believe that if you follow the cues from bub at any age then adapt things to suit both you and them of course everyone will be happy. I have done this with both my girls and have very happy littlies :thumbsup: I trust my instincts and try various things until I find what works for us as a whole family. DP kind of just follows my lead in alot of ways but he also does some things his own way and whether I agree or not, if he gets the results he wants then that is the way that works for him. The girls understand that Mum and Dad do some things a little differently but basically we are always united no matter whether it is being done my way or his - it all works but differently. We both follow our instincts I guess!!

Did any of that make sense????

[becca74]

I mix and match between all sorts of ideas gleaned from the whole parenting spectrum......I had a mother at my son's school assume I was an 'earth mother' because I am planning a HBA2C! I think most of my parenting would make your average true earth mother cringe :p Especially since I'm married to a 80's throw back yuppie who works for a bank :laughing:

the first parenting books I bought were Steve Biddulph's "Raising Boys" and that book "3 in a bed" by Deborah Jackson. My 1st son was demand fed (what felt every 20 mins, we co-slept and I went to him as soon as he showed signs of wanting to cry...He was always in a sling (and he was bloody heavy!) He was a very curious boy extremely early on, and I remember having to have to hold him and walk round non-stop looking at different things around the house, as he got bored within 10 seconds of looking at a new 'thing'. I was EXHAUSTED and on the verge of a nervous breakdown, as I literally spent no time to myself. Even my showers were spent with him in a stroller looking at me whilst I sang different nursery rhymes non-stop - else he would burst into tears.......But being the stubborn cow I was, I persisted as long as I could......until one day I just couldnt get him to settle (turns out he had been over-fed - he was a total boobaholic, his stomach was very full and hard, he obviously had a tummy ache).....All I could do was put him in his cot (which btw had been only used to store toys, he never slept in it), shut the door and walk out and put the kettle on. I made a cuppa, and slipped down onto the floor in tears, sooking my way through sips of tea as he screamed out at me from the bedroom....when I had gathered my sanity, I went back to him and sorted him out, as I had accumulated enough brain cells from that cuppa-to-myself to work out what was actually distressing him.

I think attachment parenting works best when your DP is equally involved....my DH was a total skeptic over the whole thing (his ex had been routine obsessed with their 2 kids from their marriage), so I wasnt getting any support whatsoever....

by baby #2, I read Gina ford's CLBB, the complete opposite! And though most of her stuff I thought was quite ridiculous, there was some stuff I took on board. My 2nd boy never co-slept with us, though he was in the Moses basked only a foot from where I was sleeping until he grew out of it (then we moved the travel cot to a foot from where I was sleeping.......I guess you could say I compromised. He has been my easiest baby, because I have do what I want to do with him, and thought 'stuff you' to all the guilt mongers out there who would like to have an opinion on my parenting techniques.

By baby #3, I started part co-sleeping part moses-basket-by-the-bed sleeping....But then, I think by baby #3, it is surprising how they just fit around everything, and I dont think I actually have a specific parenting 'technique' that I use with him, except that he is showered with love and affection at every given opportunity....

My 1st child is by far my most impatient child, and expects everything he wants to be handed to him miraculously immediately - because this is the world I created for him, a world where he was the King. (for example, it is now just before 5pm, I am about to get off my butt and make the kids dinner - but he is here asking if he can have a potato to cut into a shape and get some paint to make potato prints....I have explained the situation that it is nearly dinner and we dont get the paints out at this time of day, but he is now chucking stuff about having a tantrum like a 2 year old.....charming)

I have since learnt that my children are 'Princes' of the household, not 'Kings'. And whilst I dont believe in things like controlled crying, I will now, however, not rush to a baby the second it starts to whimper if I am, for example, sitting on the toilet!

Yep, the best parenting book I ever read was "I'm Okay, You're a brat" by Susan Jeffers....It is not a parenting advice book, it just reminds mums and dads that they are humans too, and you don't become a slave the moment you give birth......

I do wish that attachment parenting, and natural parenting had worked for me, and in my head it is the romantic fantasy I always had about how I wanted to be a parent, but I have just found that the way my life has unravelled, it just hasnt worked for me.....

I applaud mums and dads who can do attachment parenting.....but I shy away from those militant ones who loudly preach their 'way' as some wild missionary in the jungles of africa to unfortunate tribesman might.....

As long as everything you do is motivated by love for your child, I dont think there is any wrong or right way to parent them.....

Okay, will get off my butt and make dinner now!!

[MonkeyMum05]

Great post, becca74... thanks for sharing ;)

[becca74]

Great post, becca74... thanks for sharing ;)
my pleasure :)

[lukaelmo]

I don't know what category I would cast myself into when it comes to parenting the dude. Hopefully a good one :laughing: .

Luka is not a cuddly baby, and does not enjoy being held, carried or in a sling. He adores being in his stroller however and chats away happily.

I BF him and love to use this to calm him down, but he doesn't BF to sleep anymore - his choice. Luka goes to sleep beautifully and calmly when I put him in his cot and walk out of the room. If I stay in the room it upsets him.

We started to cosleep in the hospital but stopped when I woke up one night at home and was half over him - I am a really heavy sleeper. I would admit that I would love to cosleep, but Luka will not settle in the bed with me, even after a BF at night.

We have a routine - he has regular naps that we established from his tired signs, and he is the happiest little man in the world when he gets his sleep.

Our little family is very lucky to have DP working from home, so the three of us are almost constantly together. I know Luka (and me too!) really benefits from having his dad around all day.

So while I think I am always there for the dude, I don't think it is attachment parenting.

Luka is a lovely, cheery little man. I think my proudest moment was when his paeditrician asked me if I was a SAHM. When I explained that DP and I were at home with him together all day, the paed remarked that that was why he was such a lovely happy baby :smiliedance: . I felt on top of the world.

Hmmm I don't even know if I have answered the question now!

[damien's mum]

I agree with naecare, and understand where u are coming from, i dont think u have to say sorry, your voicing your opinion, like others on the site. I know what you mean by having to care for children that are used to ap. But it does make it hard for nannies, daycares and babysitters, i think ur point is vaild, and maybe some parents need to take this into consideration, before handing there children over to someone else to look after. I know working in daycare, for years before having my own child, it was very hard to deal with one child different to the other, and it wasnt fair on other children, or the staff, as we have a responibility to parents to look after their children, and how can we do this, when we are carrying a certain child all day long. No offence to anyone... Just an opinion!

[Ana Gram]

We were prepared before DD's birth for her to be carried round all the time in slings. I was prepared to do it even though I wasn't real keen on the idea as I really like my space and I am not a cuddly person, but we had been told that it was a great thing to do and that all babies love it. WRONG.

DD absolutely hated it. She didn't seen to like being cuddled right from the start adn would push everyone away and would scream bloody murder if we put her in the sling. Plus it was agony on my back.

DD is now 2 and still hates people invading her space. She actually tells you if you are allowed to have a cuddle or not.

[WeThree]

I am on the other side of this story. I am a nanny to a family of 4 children all AP kings and queens and I find it extremely challenging on whole and honestly dont know how they cope as a family. I find it challenging as they co-sleep with the youngest and she gets BF to sleep. So it makes it really hard on me. Plus they are never told no! I find it really hard picking up the pieces and carrying the youngest around all day, as It kills my back.

I am not having a go at AP style or anyone as I think it is great if thats what makes you happy. And dont want to offend anyone sorry. Just making a point that is is ok if you are prepared to do it yourself but hard if you need your child looked after or decide to go back to work and expect someone else to look after you child.
Maybe I just needed to vent. Sorry.

This post has made me wonder, I would be interested on hearing more stories from people with older children, like naecares charges.
Most of the mums here who adhere to 'strict' ( I also find it amusing that an ap family has a nanny :p ) ap styles and philosophies have small children and babies, but I would love to hear how it is working for woman with older kids, or people who know of older kids who are raised this way.
Does it lead to kind, gentle, thoughtful little individuals, or too self indulged, spoilt little snots? Is this style of parenting more suited to smaller children? I think anyone who says that any situation can be dealt with without some sort of punishment or something has never had an older child! Sooooo, anyone? :)

[Tea Lady]

Well, I've never been "strictly" AP but I've done alot of the things that AP parents do (if that makes sense) - more when DD was very young. I used to carry her all the time in a pouch (which was painful beyond belief, but she liked it) and bf on demand and we always used "gentle" settling techniques (but didn't co-sleep except when absolutely exhausted). Anyway, people always used to tell me that DD was very contented (not that they're going to tell you your child's a misery guts though are they?) which was kind of true so long as she was being bf or cuddled, but I could NEVER put her down without her screaming, not even to go to the loo. It drove me insane. I don't know if she was like that because of being with me so much, or if it's just "her", but it was incredibly frustrating and draining that I could get nothing done whatsoever unless she was asleep.

The sleep thing kind of came unstuck too as she wouldn't sleep longer than 40mins during the day becuase she couldn't settle herself and was up all night needing to be fed back to sleep. I was absolutely at my wits end from lack of sleep when she was about 8 months old and we even did CC (shock horror!) which worked for awhile but I hate the crying so we're back to sitting in her room with her while she goes to sleep (at 16 months). I also still bf her to sleep for her daytime sleep. To be honest it's not really working for us because at night it takes up so much of our precious couple time to get her to sleep and in the day I think she would sleep more if I didn't feed her to sleep.

I really think that whether or not your child is contented has alot to do with their own personality and how relaxed / comfortable you feel with your parenting style, not "what" that style actually is - I mean if you're a complete control freak routine person, chances are your child will take after you and be more content with a routine, whereas if you're a go-with-the-flow person, your child will probably be like you too (unless you have a control freak partner in which case it could all backfire :laughing: ). I think kids can pick up on whether you're happy with what you're doing or not, and if you're parenting a certain way because it's the "right" way but it doesn't sit well with you, I don't think it will work.

Sorry for the rave. :ecomcity:

[thepanda]

I loved Becca74's post.

I have mostly done attachment parenting. I had a premie baby and the pediatric doctor told me that ap would be the best way to help him develop well. I followed his advice and I even co sleep with my boy as directed by the hospital. He sleeps well, only with me though and I'm not sure the attachment parenting has worked so well for me. The pediatrician assured me that ap makes for very secure and confident babies. Anyone who knows my little guy would not say that about him

He is 18 months old now and has a very loving home with doting parents and grand parents but get him around other people and he clings to me. I can't even make a cup of tea at our play group, he will have a major tantrum. He gets very distressed around other people. I don't know what to do about it and wonder if anyone else doing ap has had the same reaction.

I agree with Tea Lady that the babies just accept thier environments and each baby and family has their own style and ways, it is just what works for them. I also agree with Lukaelmo, her son is a gorgeous and chirpy little guy.

My boy is perfectly lovely and such a little joy until someone else appears on the scene. Being premie I did keep him at home for the first couple of months of his life (it was hard and a lot of work) but I've always wanted to do what is best for him. I am a SAHM but sometimes he is baby sat by his grand parents, which he loves. He does a play group with his cousins (round the same age group) and he is also in a play group with some very, very lovely mums and babies. I'm starting him in some baby fun classes this semester too but he does get to see alot of people now. He also comes out with me when I see other friends. It hasn't changed him yet though he is still so shy, maybe it is his personality, his dad is very quiet.

When I brought him home from the hospital I was scared to sleep with him in my bed but he wouldn't have it any other way. He just wouldn't sleep unless he was next to me so he has needed some aspects of the ap from the very beginning. I love him and think we are blessed to have such a lovely little baby, I just hope that ap hasn't made him shy and so clilngy with me.

Manda:p
Luke :sleeping:
Connor 15/10/04

[Goosie22]

Hi Coopsntilly,

I have a nearly 9 year old who was Breastfeed untill he weaned himself at 3+ he coslept with us I used a sling untill he could walk (8months) and didnt attend daycare.

He is a very mild natured child (not perfect by any means though) He has always been into sharing with and comforting others. Like any 9 year old he has his moments with doing what he is told and he is an individual and as such is intiled to his own opinion and we allow him to voice it respectfully. He is not a robot that does everything I tell him to do unquestioned and I like that, I nurture that. He has friends that seem to have no personality because they dont "answer back" or ask questions of their parents.

So it depends what you define spoilt or little snot.

We dont do punishment as such we have consequences to actions now, and he is warned that a particular activity or behaviour is not wanted by us, if he continues on with it he has to go away to his room or just sit quitely. He understands what he is doing and we expain why he is missing out on interacting. Lots of talking and explaining so maybe somepeople dont like that constant conversation. Just FYI we started using consequences about the age of 5 before that we just arranged the house and surroundings so things we didnt want to confront didnt become a problem, used distraction redirrections and positive reinforcement to encourage better behaviour.

[lukaelmo]

It hasn't changed him yet though he is still so shy, maybe it is his personality, his dad is very quiet.


Hey Amanda,

I agree with this, babies do have their own personalities right from the start, as do their parents, so what works for one family will not necessarily work for another.

If Luka had been a premmie baby I would have done exactly the same thing with Luka as you have done with Conner. They still would have turned out different babies though, Connor would still give you cuddles and Luka would still push me away :laughing: .

[WeThree]

Hi Coopsntilly,

I have a nearly 9 year old who was Breastfeed untill he weaned himself at 3+ he coslept with us I used a sling untill he could walk (8months) and didnt attend daycare.

He is a very mild natured child (not perfect by any means though) He has always been into sharing with and comforting others. Like any 9 year old he has his moments with doing what he is told and he is an individual and as such is intiled to his own opinion and we allow him to voice it respectfully. He is not a robot that does everything I tell him to do unquestioned and I like that, I nurture that. He has friends that seem to have no personality because they dont "answer back" or ask questions of their parents.

So it depends what you define spoilt or little snot.

We dont do punishment as such we have consequences to actions now, and he is warned that a particular activity or behaviour is not wanted by us, if he continues on with it he has to go away to his room or just sit quitely. He understands what he is doing and we expain why he is missing out on interacting. Lots of talking and explaining so maybe somepeople dont like that constant conversation. Just FYI we started using consequences about the age of 5 before that we just arranged the house and surroundings so things we didnt want to confront didnt become a problem, used distraction redirrections and positive reinforcement to encourage better behaviour.

Thanks for the reply goosie :)
I have a 9 yr old son as well, and I do the same things with him :)
I too like my boys with a bit of 'spirit' ;)

[BJelly]

Hi, I've done a bit of AP - as much as I could anyway.

I bought a baby sling when I was pregnant, but my bub didn't like it until she was an older baby, and then I'd put her in it while vacuuming and she'd often go to sleep.

We always did a mix of having her in her basinette or later her cot, but I'd bring her to bed with me once I was in bed when she woke up during the night for a feed - I stopped bringing her into bed when she started crawling, because she'd wake up and crawl all over the bed, now she is older and moving around the bed isn't such a novelty for her, and since it's getting colder at night I've been able to start co-sleeping during the night again - which has been lovely - I'm getting a good sleep because I know she hasn't gotten out from under the blankets, so I'm resting much easier.

I ended up doing the CC thing when she was 7 months. I could only get her to sleep by nursing her or by carrying her - but she would wake up everytime I went to put her down in her cot. She wasn't sleeping and I was getting very tired carrying her around for hours and getting little else done. I got a referral to a sleep school, where they did the CC thing, which did help us with getting her to sleep better, but I must admit that I found her much more clingy when she was awake. But I felt I had no choice, I couldn't spend all day carrying her just so she could sleep for 30 mins at a time.

My bub has always been a placid baby, just a restless sleeper/ catnapper. I don't do corporal punishment - I seek to be firm but fair and consistant to show her what is expected of her behaviour wise. And so far it's been working well. She is a very good little girl who loves to help us and is very affectionate. She has the odd tantrum, but is easily distracted. I seek to not reward tantrum behaviour but more importantly I try to prevent things from deteriorating before they get to that stage by being aware of her tiredness, hunger, thirst, boredom levels - if these things are attended to, I find she is very well behaved.

I still BF her - I've cut out the night feeds, because we are TTC, and also I don't want her teeth to get cavities, but she'll have 4-5 feeds during the day, and more if she is teething or feeling a bit fragile. She eats her solids like a horse most days and she rarely gets sick - I think she's only had one real cold and only 1-2 sniffles.

Edited to add, I've found having a routine/rhythm/rituals very helpful. I never had definite times for things, except for her nightime routine (she loves her Dad and I reading stories to her before bed, and the prebed kisses and cuddles), but I've found if we disrupted her day too much, she wouldn't be as "good" for us. Recently we stopped going to baby swimming lessons because of the colder weather and we didn't go to playgroup because of the public hols, and I found that she got into a really good sleep pattern on the weeks we didn't have other engagements - so now I don't push it, if she needs a sleep we stay home, and if she's up for playgroup we go.

[becca74]

Goosie, the one thing I do appreciate about my boys is that they do stand up for themselves.....I grew up in an environment of fear of punishment all the time, so as an adult this has caused me great self-esteem issues, and I tend to cower when others try to show domination over me (which I hate, but it seems to be a reflex). We too have the 'consequences' rather than punishments (though I started to introduce pretty early, tho dont expect my 2 year old to understand, but at least he is aware of the word early on). They always know that if they continue with a certain behaviour, they are warned to a count of 10 that there will be a consequence upon my arrival at 10.

I always joke with people and say that it may be hard now, but I cant imagine anyone in my 3 sons lives (and the little one currently in my womb) ever succeed in supressing them :laughing: I bring them up to question everything, and although this can get tiring when my authority is always questioned, I know that as grown men they will hopefully never become lemmings to the masses.....they will hopefully remain as confident as they are now in their convictions later on.

I also, though, as BJelly was talking about routine, do have a very subtle routine. there are a few 'markers' of regularity that occur during the day, which I have to say, being so personally uncomfortable about routine, I actually have to stick by these things or else my house does resort to chaos. These are things my kids count on for security - and it is mainly the strict bedtime routine. It happens in the same sequence I'd say 90% of the time, with the bathing process, teeth brushing process, the pyjama process, and the night-night process. This is all about investing time though, and I spend about 15-20 minutes in the bedroom of my boys from the minute they get into bed - we go through the same prayer, which they get picky with me if I say things the wrong way round, and they believe they are controlling me at this time of night - when in fact it is a very structured strategy to get them into bed without them needing to come out for attention when I'm done....It is very intensive with one on one affection, also a standard set of words that they expect me to say to them, with a certain amount of kisses and hugs that they demand to be the same amount each night.....This 'routine' has them passing out blissfully and full of security....and funilly enough, the regimental nature of the identical things I do, is actually something that my kids police and ensure takes place identically each night.....so this shows me that routine is actually necessary to a certain extent - as they are the ones demanding it.

So, I dont know if that is non-AP or what.....no crying takes place, but I do insist upon no kids out of bed after 8pm at the latest :D And as long as they get their routine, they dont have an issue with it being time for sleep then. I have to say though, my boys have only ever been subject to this routine from approx age 18 months each, as from that age they have thought of it is a fun game, and totally enjoy being a part of it - before that I have been bf'ing to sleep (or rocking, in the case of my 2nd boy who gave up bf'ing of his own accord at 11 months). Wow I am a cocktail of parenting styles :rolleyes:

I think it comes down to creating people who can co-exist equally with others in society, aware that everyone is unique, and everyone deserves respect and space to express their uniqueness - I dont think AP is about child dominating adult - though I know people can get the impression that it is. So who knows what style I am? To be honest, I think I'm just a mum who loves her kids :D

[Goosie22]

I think it comes down to creating people who can co-exist equally with others in society, aware that everyone is unique, and everyone deserves respect and space to express their uniqueness - I dont think AP is about child dominating adult - though I know people can get the impression that it is.

Very good point:yes:

[Foxymoron]

Great point Beeca74 :yes:

I have older children (as well as an infant & toddler) and they are rather robust, confident people. I haven't seen any negatives to AP style parenting. I'm not into radical fundamentalist anything, I don't live by some strict set of 'ap' rules and my approach to my children is to treat them with the respect I would like from them, and from anyone I interact with. Being a parent isn't easy, it's always a challenge, and there will always be times when you want to :banghead: in frustration. So it's hard for me to define 'negative results'..... when AP is based around following cues from your baby about there needs, if bubby doesn't like the sling, or snoozing to the dulcet tones of your snoring you are no less of an 'ap' parent for not using it-KWIM?

[thepanda]

Excellent post again Becca74. I really agree with everything you have said. Babies do love routine and I think as long as the babies are totally loved, parents can just choose the styles that fit them and thier life style. Our night time is based on routine and it is fun with a few games, getting ready for bed and stories and mum and dad laying next to him for a while when he is tired. It's all at the same time every night and although some think I'm spoiling him too much he goes to sleep every night with no trouble at all so it works for us. I think what ever works for each parent.

Thanks Lukaelmo for your vote of confidence. I think they do all have thier own personalities from the start and I think your little man was born to smile and have a good chat.

Manda :D