why do i feel embarrased

[calden]

I'm getting married in 2 weeks and as i'm not big on weddings and am a private type of person, not to mention i'm 33 weeks pregnant, we decided to tie the not at the registry using there wedding room and having just a couple of friends and a couple of family members and having a 'party' at my parents house with a couple of friends and mainly my dp's work mates as we haven't got many close friends. I'm happy enough as the registry wedding is what i wanted and even though i didn't want anything more than a ceremony and a honeymoon i gave in and said yes to the party. Now whats getting me is i don't understand why i feel embarrassed that i'm having something so small - i don't want the ppl that are going to think that i'm only having it small because of money or having few friends and family not that i chose not to have many ppl there. The ceremony i can deal with but the thing afterwards is what i'm really not looking forward to as i'll be celebrating something thats personal to me with mostly ppl i don't know and i'm feeling a bit embarassed. I think whats making it worse is friends that are coming are getting married a month later and their doing the 'proper' wedding thing. I'm just angry at myself that i'm even worried about what other ppl think.

Hopefully someone out there will have experienced the same thing or others who have had small affairs and are happy with their decision..

[MothersMilk]

My situation was not quite the same but i felt embarrassed having a wedding at all - because i have literally no contact with any of my family and barely any friends. I thought it was a bit sad that almost every single person there was on DH side of family and his friends.
I felt embarrassed that i didn't have bridesmaids or a hen's night like everyone else etc.
You know what i got over it. I had a beautiful wedding - it wasn't a big fancy do but it's not about that. It's about you and your future husband. No one else matters.
Don't be embarrassed - have a lovely day and think of the marriage not the wedding - that is after all the most important thing :)

[PCP]

Hi Aidensmum,

DH and i got married in November last year and we had what i thought was a "small" wedding, we had only less than 50 guests and that was really only immediate/close family and about 10 friends.

We are private people too and believe me there were people there we would rather not have had there! Sometimes with weddings you find yourself doing things for other people. I WISH we had have done what we wanted and only spent it with people we TRULY wanted to spend it with. So good for you! And stuff everyone else and what they think!!

Easier said than done i know. It's normal to not want people to think you're being a tight *** i guess :) But you know the real reason. And everyone else can just deal with it.

I had to spend my wedding day with people i wasnt comfortable being around...they were awful too. Dont do the same. Be happy with your decision. Spend time with those you want to and just ignore the rest like i had to :yes:

[MothersMilk]

Just wanted to add a few things.
I am a very private person and wasn't looking forward to the reception. We had about 50 guest - one of my friends and 49 of DH's family/friends (yep).
It turned out to be really nice. I just avoided any one who i didn't know well - just a quick hello and thanks for coming usually satisfies most. Also you can leave whenever you are sick of it and everyone else can stay if they want.
We left early and nobody cared - it's your day.
Please don't let this get in the way of you enjoying your wedding.

[Uniquey]

Aidensmum, do you know what.... I'd love a dollar for everyone that has said to me I wish I had had a smaller, less fussy wedding :yes:. I had a big wedding and was very happy, but I don't think I am the norm!

Don't forget too, that you're 33 weeks pregnant, so I am sure people won't speculate as to why you've done it this way, and in any case it's YOUR day, noone elses. Good Luck with it all, you'll be fine, and at the moment your preggy hormones are probably making you feel stressy about it all. :hugs:

[Mrs Nietzsche]

I had the same - registry office with just DH, my daughter and my parents to witness. I doubt I would ever have got married otherwise... we both meant the vows as we said them and had a few tears and I don't think i ever could have been so vulnerable in front of a crowd. My daughter sat up with us whilst we took the vows.. it felt really special and afterwards as we walked around the city we kept telling people 'we just got married!'.

(I was 8 mths preg also and cursed my father who would *not* stop taking photos.)

[calden]

Thanks ladies for your replies, i do feel better. I think anytime the wedding gets mentioned i aways had to justify why we are doing what we are doing and i think they were making me second guess what i really wanted.

I was all about it being about the unifying and the marriage itself not the wedding so hopefully i'll stop worrying what ppl will think because they probably aren't even thinking what i think they are thinking iykwim:laughing:

You do always hear that ppl who had large weddings wish that it could have been different and really i should really just be focused on whats important and thats the commitment i'm making.

thanks again

[Mrs Nietzsche]

Yeah - a lot of people seemed to find it odd that I didn't want a special wedding, etc etc. I have never wanted a big wedding day. I find most wedding these days to not be particularly meaningful in any case and often just a case to show off how much money was spent.

I am really happy with how we did things. It was a really special feeling (feel a bit sooky just remembering it actually lol).