Confused! Help!

[luckie_me]

I dont know what to do! My X from Tassie (bubs dad) has been callin me, wanting to come up and be with me and bub! But Im not sure whether he is being serious or not.. I only have a month left til bub comes and i dont need this right now. It would be good if he was being serious I would love to have him here with us! Im just not sure, I am getting myself all worked up thinkin he'll come back, but what if it is a joke on my behalf? I found out from a not so reliable source that he is engaged to some girl! And that he is playing me to see if i'll take him back whenever he wants me.... Ohhh dear i just dont know what to believe and i dont know what to do! I am sooo confused! I have been really stressed thru this pregnancy because of him and i keep worrying that this may have some inpact on my baby!
Any Advice is welcome!!!!
Thanks

[cjb/jbvd]

ohh dear, what a yucky thing to have to wade through right before bub comes.

first of all :hugs: to you.

ok, so maybe you tell him he is welcome to come up for the birth, but that he can't stay with you. he might just want to be there to see the arrival of his child and who can blame him. this way, you get to find out if he is genuine about coming up or just playing you.

once he arrives (if he arrives), you can find out from him what his intentions are first hand. no point speculating based on info from a 'not so reliable' source.

if he does want to be part of the family, then i would suggest taking it slow and not letting move in until he has clearly moved back up from tassie. as in, all his stuff is in his place up here, he has a job or is looking for one, that kind of thing. that would indicate at least some kind of committment from him.

if all he wants is to remain friendly for the child, then be glad he is making the effort to be a good dad. so many people don't even get that much.

either way, you can't be sure until you talk to him face to face.

[EskimoMumma]

cjb/jbvd pretty much summed iot from me

big :hugs: to you

[luckie_me]

Thanks cjb/jvbd I guess i will wait an see! its just hard to know whats best!

[bec79]

I agree with cjb/jbvd, it seems like a good course of action.

Big :hugs: to you....what a terrible thing to have to contemplate when your bub is about to arrive.

I was also thinking what a terrible person your ex is, if he is playing you for a fool. After all you are the mother of his child....:no:

All the best, I hope it all worx out...keep us posted.

[luckie_me]

Oh i am soo upset right now you wouldnt believe! Being the stupid person i am i hung off his every word! Believed it all! But today for some reason he just didnt "feel" like talking to me! He knew i was upset and that i wanted to talk but wouldnt give me the time of day! He is trying to playwith my head, I found out that he is not engaged! Apparently he is just confused! HELLO what about me, i dont know if im coming or going with him?
i have stuggled thru this pregnancy and the brake up on my own in a new state not knowing anyone but my family. I dont wanna tell them how stupid i have been all they have done is support me thru this hard time! They dont wanna see it again and I know im back down there where i started! Heart broken!
He dont even care about his son, that would be because im his mother!
I dont know what to do! I cant eat or sleep all i can do is think about him and what an awful thing he has done to me again.
Sorry ive probably miss bits out but theres so muuch going thru my head i cant think properly!
Megan

[Jem]

What do you really want ? Do you want him in your life ?

Many times my ex has pulled on the heart strings to see if i would stoop down to his level and let him back in the door :shame:

I've been down that road too many times... i dont need to travel it again, because i know how it will eventuate!

Ultimately it is your decision... But i wouldnt be letting him back...

Its funny how they know that when you are nearing birth.. they think that they can say anything and manipulate the situation to there advantage.... its an easy way back in the door!!!

Be strong!!! And really think about what way you want to go!! :fingerscrossed:

[cjb/jbvd]

are you feeling this way because you are having problems with the idea of being a single parent?? is it because you feel like you can't cope on your own, and you think DS will need him?? are you scared of doing this on your own?? :hugs:

or do you actually really love the guy??

if you are going through the insecurities because you are afraid and lonely, then lean on your friends and family more. from what you have said, they sound like they are there for you 100%, and would gladly help you in any way. because you don't need the a*****e back in your life (i call him that because that's how you are portraying his behaviour). your DS doesn't need someone in his life who will cause his main support and lifeline (ie you) so much heartache. you will be ok without him. yes being a single parent can be tough, and it's sometimes very lonely at the beginning. but once you have your DS to focus your love and attention on, and you settle into a routine of your own, meet people at playgroups and things, life gets easier. :hugs:

but if you really love him, then this is going to be hard for you. you care about someone who is hurting you badly. that's not a nice position to be in. but ask yourself this: if he loves me the way i deserve, as much as i love him, then why is he treating me like this?? should he be treating me like this?? if you love the guy, then it's going to hurt for a lot longer if you keep letting him do this to you in the hopes he will come back. you shouldn't waste smiles on the person who makes you cry the most. save the tears for the one who makes you smile

:hugs:

[SamanthaJane]

I agree with everything cjb/jbvd has said

:hugs:Hugs to you sweety, i've sent u a pm:hugs:

[luckie_me]

Well! I dont know what to say, Im really excited! X came up on Sunday, We sorted everything out and are back together just before bub comes!
When we went to pick him up from the Airport, i couldnt look at him i was sooo nervous.. (well i sneeked a few peeks when he wasnt lookin) It took a day before we talked about the 'us' issue. I didnt want to pressure him coz he was soo excited about being here! But all is good! 13 days till little bub comes and I'm sooo happy coz his daddy is here!

Sorry if this is a bit of a ramble but im just soo happy right now! Just had to tell someone!
Megan

[Femme-Fetale]

Hi Luckie Me,
I didnt see this thread earlier but have just noticed it now. I guess after reading all that i can only wish u and him the best of luck. I hope things truely do work out for you both and i hope that if things dont go to plan, ur strong enough to cut it off again. Fingers crossed that wont have to happen to
Good luck on your pending birth, i wish u so much labour vibes so u can have a fairly fast and easy labour!
keep us updated again wont u and wow, im happy things are working out for you! :thumbsup: