our first babies EDD was to be tomorrow, now an angels day

[zafyrezmummy]

sorry if this is the wrong place to put this...I dont mind if no-one replies, I just felt i needed to put this somewhere, felt right.

Tomorrow, the 26th of MAY 2006, was my angel ashleighs Estimated Due Date. the day he was meant to be bought into this world, The day i was finally going to get to meet him...

now its just gonna be another day...

We lost Ashleigh at 14 weeks last year.(incomplete m/c) I'm still not over it, I'm not sure I've come to terms with it.

Now, I'm all abit mixed up, as we're now also 10 weeks pregnant with our next bub. (i love this bub so much too!:yes: and i loved ashleigh so much!)

I feel bad when I start thinking that i wish I'd never lost ashleigh, as that would mean I wouldnt have this beautiful little miracle bubs growin inside me now.
I feel bad when i think that I'm so happy about this baby, it almost feels like I'm disrespecting ashleighs memory...:confused:

I'm a big mess.:crying:

I'm not sure how to feel...

So i guess i just wanted to say to my angel,
happy bithday for tomorrow, even if you never made it to your birth, I'll never ever forget you ashleigh.


How am i meant to act tomorrow? Am i allowed to be upset? Is it wrong not to be? Am i just a big mental case? Will i give this bubs growing in my belly bad vibes if i get too upset tomorrow? I dont want to upset this bubs, I dont want to disrespect my angel either by pretending tomorrow is not abig deal for me emotionally...
You know, you think that all the tears have been cried out, that there could possibly be no more left, and then it all comes again,
i'm going to try and have a positive day, for me, and for this bubs, and we'll honour ashleighs memory somehow, in a positive way! We'll go down the beach or somethin?! Say a prayer for my angel.



~dimarie~
~ mummy to an angel ~
~ and ~
~ a mummy-to-be ~
~ :p ~

[lilmissymoo]

:wave: im so sorry for your loss. :crying:
If you do decide to go down to the beach why not go around sunset, take some helium balloons with you, and just as the sun is being washed away by the ocean make a wish or say what is in your heart and send your message up to your precious angel.
Or you can get a special candle, light it, then say what you want to say, by blowing the candle out , your message will reach your little one.

Happy Birthday Ashleigh for tomorrow, You would have made your parents proud.

Just take some comfort in knowing that Ashleigh will always be watching over you, No matter what you maybe doing.

sending :hugs: to you all

[misskittyfantastico]

Happy birthday Ashleigh. You are in my thoughts and prayers:hugs:

[rynosmum]

You're not disrespecting either of your bubbas so don't be concerned. I felt the same way, joy at the new baby in my tummy, sadness about the little angel who didn't make it. Very bittersweet as I will always know that if we hadn't lost our angel, we would never have had our wonderful little boy.

Oh, and 3 years later I still get teary about it.

Hugs to you and happy birthday to angel Ashleigh.:hugs:

[Irish Dad]

Hey I think all your feelings are totally normal and I guess all I can say is that some things are meant to be however painfull the outcome is. My youngest son was lucky to make it after being on life support after birth and I can't start to imagine how your lose must feel :( Tomorrows a very special day, you've made me shed a tear :hugs:

[cjb/jbvd]

can't begin to understand how you feel.
all i can offer is :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

i'm sure that wherever ashleigh is, he knows how much you love him. and i'm sure he wouldn't want you to feel guilty for loving your secong bub just as much.

he will watch over both of you.

[Sarie]

Honey :hugs: to you.
Whatever feelings you have today let them out, if you feel like crying let it out. You need to grieve for ashleigh and he will be there watching you and loving you and your new bub.
Don't feel guilty for loving the new baby I'm sure ashleigh wouldn't want that.
:hugs: :kiss:
Sarie

[Percy]

Hello

I had my sons EDD in February and it was unbelievably hard. I lost him at 15 weeks and im not over him either.

I can understand how you are feeling. I have a gorgeous one year old, and if I hadnt of lost THomas then i wouldnt have jake, so it is a very confusing feeling.

I dont think the pain ever goes away, perhaps just dulls down after a while.

My thought are with you, and happy birthday to your darling little ashleigh.

Hugs to you.

Katie

[Bron]

What a challenging day for you. I found our daughter's EDD to be very difficult in January this year. Give yourself some quiet time to reflect. It is perfectly OK to feel sad and to mourn this loss. Your grief is real.

We're all here, and many of us have been there. I'm thinking of you. :hugs:

[Funkychicken]

Hi Dimarie,
I'll be thinking of you.:hugs:

[Lizzie0808]

Happy Birthday to your angel

:hugs: :hugs: for you today. my thoughts are with you today and I hope that you find a special way to remember your angel.

[iluvmeboyz]

so sorry for your loss my thoughts are with you today:hugs:

[Smurfette]

Your little Angel is smiling down at you Dimarie and telling you that all is okay. He loves you and is always with you.
:hugs:
:kiss: - From you know who.

[Kayte]

Ah this bought tears to my eyes :( Your allowed 2 be upset hunnie, Just remember you have a buba angel who was to beautiful for earth and now she is looking over you and your baby ! When i MC we set of 4 white balloons at the beach 1 for me 1 for my baby 1 for DP and 1 for ever lasting memory alwayz in our hearts !

Happy birthday to your angel she is playing with my angel !! Im sure they will have lots of fun :)

My thoughts are with you today..Thinkin of ya

Lotza Luv Kayte

[OscarTheGrouch]

My thoughts are with you jomarie. :hugs: :hugs:

[Lunar]

Of course you ae allowed to be upset. It is only natural. And it is only natural that you still want that baby, even though you want this baby just as much. I know it is all very confusing. I was in your shoes twice! I morned 2 babies due dates while pg with Kailah. It was very hard, but you do get through it. You still probably have alot of fear inside too. Just try to do something special today and maybe write baby Ashleigh a letter, seal it in an envelope and never open it. Keep it for when you meet him in the next life.
All the best for this pregnancy. :hugs:

[MumsieMel]

Hey Honey,

Just sending you some :hugs: on this special and difficult day.

[PhAnToM]

Jomarie- I think your feelings are normal, as they are painful.
I had a friend in a similar position couple years ago. (not that she still doesn't get the same emotions rush over her).
She wanted to do something as a lasting memory for her baby girl on her EDD while she was pg with her second son.
So I suggested we plant a tree in her backyard. She now has a tree she waters and cares for (also talks to when she needs to), that is thriving.

:hugs: to you on your tough day.

[whitsundaysmumma]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: to you from me too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Tea Lady]

I just wanted to say I hope you get through this difficult day alright. I'll be thinking of you :hugs:

[kyliev]

:hugs: to you for today. I am thinking of you. A rememberance ceremony is a good idea. I had my 1st m/c 3 weeks ago today, and was due on my b'day in Nov this year- and am really scared of how I will feel, expecially given that it is my b'day as well- will I ever be able to enjoy my b'day again?? Instead of waiting until EDD my DH and I are plannig on planting a special tree/plant in memory prior to this as part of our grieving process- so I think that wherever that is will be the special place I go to celebrate our angels EDD. Doing somehting unique to your family may be helpful and could become a special tradition that helps you stay connected to your angel. Babies in utero are more resistant than we realise and your current baby will not suffer if you are sad, sadness is a normal emotion, so do not feel guilty for feeling it. I hope to be able to be pregnant again soon, and I hope that I can be strong too for my new pregnancy, but we are human and we are meant to feel.
:kiss: :hugs: :fingerscrossed:
kylie

[MilkOnTap]

How am i meant to act tomorrow? Am i allowed to be upset? Is it wrong not to be? Am i just a big mental case? Will i give this bubs growing in my belly bad vibes if i get too upset tomorrow? I dont want to upset this bubs, I dont want to disrespect my angel either by pretending tomorrow is not abig deal for me emotionally...
You know, you think that all the tears have been cried out, that there could possibly be no more left, and then it all comes again,
i'm going to try and have a positive day, for me, and for this bubs, and we'll honour ashleighs memory somehow, in a positive way! We'll go down the beach or somethin?! Say a prayer for my angel.
Oh Jomarie - I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Milestones are always really hard, aren't they?

Its been almost a year since my first loss, and both of my EDD's have come and gone and I've shed more than a tear or two.

Your baby that is growing within you would understand that you miss their older brother - I'm sure they miss him too. But like you said, you wouldn't be blessed with this baby had their older brother not gone to Heaven already. Just think, one day you will get to meet him after all!

I hope you had a good day yesterday and that you did something to honour your baby boy's memory....

If you need to chat more, please feel free to PM me any time.


Hugs,
Ally

[hoping4another]

Just wanted to send you big:hugs: and :kiss: these days can be so difficult when they arrive it just another reminder of our lost little one's.

Wendy