Egg donor renumeration

[Mum2AandJ]

I was just wondering if I could have some opinions about egg donor renumeration. Not being out of selfishness. If someone said to you that they would donate thier eggs to you at a cost, but that cost would help cover a deposit on a house securing the donors own childrens future. Would that be offensive? Is that really selfish?
In some countries it is standard to recieve around $5000 for donation of eggs, although it isn't allowd here in Queensland because the health minister thinks it is 'babies for the rich supplied by the poor'. :shame:

[babydreams]

Oh this is a tricky topic isn't it? We've thought long and hard about this.

To begin with, payment for donations of any kind is illegal in Australia under the "Human Tissue Act". Of course we cover a donor's out-of-pocket expenses, but no other payment is possible or legal.

My PERSONAL point of view is that I'm glad that donation is purely altruistic in this country. Not because I wouldn't be prepared to do whatever it takes to have our much longed-for baby, but because I want his/her entrance to the world to be the result of love and kindness, not money.

We have recently been blessed with an offer from an egg donor and when we said that we could never find the words to thank her, she said "The only thanks I will ever need is to see a baby in your arms and your grin from ear to ear". Isn't that beautiful?

I'm so glad that one day I will be explaining to our child that he/she was conceived from deep love between his/her parents and an act of pure generosity on the part of the donor. That is a fine beginning indeed. I'm hoping that he/she will feel extra loved and special as a result.

Many of the paid donation programs in other countries literally trade in human flesh. The donors are often young college girls selling their eggs to pay for their tuition. Imagine if they donated and then went on to be infertile later in life...how they would suffer! More importantly, the majority of those programs are anonymous and I have a very strong belief in the child's right to know its genetic heritage. So for these and many other reasons, an unpaid, known donation is right for us.

Knowing the heartache of childlessness I would never judge someone for using other options, but hope that they carefully consider the rights of the child and what the future might hold.

Babydreams xx

[Mum2AandJ]

I respect your opinion, thank-you so much for posting it!
I have been told that I can no longer have children, not because of any issues with the eggs, just because of the damage the last big bubs did. But I am blessed with 2 beautiful boys. But was hoping for a bigger family. So it hurt alot, But I only got a little slice of it, so i can imagine how painful it must be to be told when someone can't have any kids at all. :(

I will eventually do it when I'm ready, But was looking at it from the point of view of also providing for my children. I suppose it did sound a little bit selfish when I wrote that. Teenage girls doing it just to pay thier tuition is a little crazy though!!!

[provencein3]

Hi

theres always two sides to any story and in the end we all want whats best for our children.

I'd probably agree with the Health Minister in Qld ...I believe though couldn't say for certain that payment to women in the USA would mean there is an ample supply of eggs available. When you're searching for a donor you can get quite desperate and be looking for over 12 mths. To have such a supply would be a godsend. However most women turning to donor eggs have already gone thru IVF which is quite expensive so to have to make the payment on top would probably make it out of their reach. In my instance this would be the case. Therefore it would be the people with the money who could afford it.

As I said we all want the best for our children so from a recipients perspective it would be pleasing to know that when any resultant child decides to contact the donor they will be left feeling happy about the whole situation. Adopted children often feel they are abandoned regardless of how much the adopted parent loves and cares for them. Perhaps when the donor was only doing it for the money a child from those eggs would feel a little bit the same.

There are women in Australia that turn to prostitution to pay for their college tuition so donating eggs would be a better option!

[Mum2AandJ]

Definatley egg donor is a much better option for collage students than prostitution. But they don't have that option in Australia!!
Another thing I was wondering if someone was to donate the eggs, I've noticed that some parents want to get to know the donor and wanted to have a friendship with them, and will tell thier child how they were concieved.
I don't think I would want the child to know who I am. or how they were concieved, maybe when thier alot older and the parents feel that they want to tell thier children.
I would just feel that it maybe my egg, although the mother had carried the egg inside her for the whole labour and brought up the child. I don't believe that i would have any right to the child, not only that If I get to know the recipients of the egg they will obviously get to know that I have my own children and stuff like that. When thier child gets older and is told everything will they feel like they have other family, cause I've seen reports of egg and sperm donor children looking for thier genetic mother and family. Psycologically what do you believe is right for the child?

I know it's a lot of questions. It's just that I have seriously considered it and need some other opinions.

[provencein3]

Re the prostitution/ egg donor....its their personal choice. There are obviously a lot of college students who don't turn to prostitution...I guess guys don't have that much option....but I suppose they believe its a good way to make the money and get rid of their debts in a hurry. Presumably those doing egg donation in the states feel the same.

Your question are probably similar to what most prospective donors would go thru.

Can I suggest you watch the SBS Insight programme “MAKING BABIES” which will be broadcast on TUESDAY MAY 30th at 7.30pm on SBS. Repeated on Friday at 1pm and Monday at 2pm.

Anonymous donation is available thru clinics in most states whereby the donor does not receive any information about the recipients. The recipient may request non-identifying information about the donor used. Identifying informtion will be available upon request only, and from the clinic, to the resulting child after the age of eighteen years. This is the situation in queensland

Sorry guys my computer has gone a little haywire so didn"t really complete the previous response>

The situation varies by state. The following link relates to Vic. where they have launched a newspaper advertising campaign designed to encourage parents of children born following egg or sperm donation to tell their children about their origins. from 1 july this year donors and offspring are able to seek information about each other.

[sarahstarfish]

Hi Krystal

Interesting topics!

I have donated twice, with my first recipients having two children and one on the way.

I too am glad payment is illegal in Australia, for all concerned. For the most important people - those donor concieved - so they know their donor's motivations were noble, rather than financial, and perhaps that their beginning in life was meaningful and thoughtful, as Babydreams mentioned. For recipients, so they don't have to 'pay' to replace their own genes, and for donors, so they aren't tempted to use their bodies to make money. I just don't think we have any right to make money from our reproductive ability, or to abuse the wonder of human life. Egg donation in other parts of the world is something to shun, not emulate....the women of Russia and India who are on inhumane doses of hormones so they can sell their eggs to pay their bills. What price can you put on a human life?

Regarding any lives conceived from your eggs, have you considered what donor offspring might need from their donors in the future? With a donor's help, a life is born, and that life will probably want to know whose nose they have if not Dad's, why they like sport, why they are great musicians etc. In QUeensland, clinics are now turning away donors who won't agree to have their details kept on a database so the people born from their donation can trace them when they turn 18 - something to think about if this doesn't sit well with you. And, something that was very important to me, there is also the biological fact that your own children would have genetic half-siblings they might want to know about in the future....so egg donation doesn't stop and start with donors, but impacts widely on everyone involved.

To be honest, egg donation isn't really a walk in the park for a donor, and does take up a bit of time for a couple of months of your life with appointments, blood tests etc, so you really need to make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. Given the new guidelines for donors to be answerable to any lives they help conceive in the future, puts a different perspective on things as well...which I think is good though, it is too easy to think 'it's just an egg, I'm not using it', because in reality, you are gifting a life and someone will be living it.

The only compensation you will recieve is the warm feeling of helping someone..and I have to tell you, that is pretty amazing.

Love

Cindy

[Thinking_about_it]

Hi there - have been reading the posts and I would agree if that the only compensation received is the warm feeling of helping someone, that would be plenty enough for me. I've been contemplating becoming a donor but when I contacted the IVF clinics I was told that I would not ever hear anything about the potential child, not even a photo, only that it had been successful or unsuccessful. Am I selfish? It seems like a lot to go through and not even be able to see the joy on the faces of the parents.

I have two beautiful children who are quite honestly such a handful that I really dont want a third (so I dont seek to be a parent to this donor child), and I am not seeking payment. I just want to take some part in the joy that my donation would bring to a childless couple. Is that selfish?

Still contemplating becoming an egg donor.

[Melanie&Lucky]

Hello 'Thinking about it'

I don't think you are being selfish at all, not in the slightest. To become an Egg Donor, is an absolutely HUGE thing to do and get your head around. It is wonderful that you are thinking about it. Such a selfless, generous thing to do and for all that you go through, it is not asking too much to share in some of the joy with the parents. There are lots of posts regarding Egg Donation on this site, you may find some of them interesting to read and help you with your decision on whether you this is or isn't for you. Good Luck.

[wa mum of 4]

Hi thinking about it,
I am at the moment going through ED as Donor. The only reason it would be anonymous is if it was a anonymous donation. If are really thinking about it go to
http://www.aussieeggdonors.com/
they have ads for people seeking donors, that way you can me involved as much or as little as you both want.:yelclap:
It’s a great thing to do for someone; I am over joyed to be doing this for my IP's, hopefully if you decide to continue you will have the same feelings.:smiliedance:
Sarah

[Mum2AandJ]

After some really good thought and kind words given to me from others I am seriously re-considering my position, mainly for the childs mental well being when told that they were a donor really turns me off. I want them to feel that thier family is thiers full stop. It's not that I am a cold person I have just had a lot of family issues myself and believe a childs family is thiers and thiers only to keep and it should stay that way. I have had a broken family all my life and the idea of giving someone a child knowing that the baby is wanted and going to be brought up in a stable loving home environment, makes the idea of donating a brilliant idea. I would be fine with leaving my contact details with the agency and if the parents needed anything the agency could get into contact with me. But why tell a child that his/her family is any less than what they believe or that thier mother isn't biologically thiers, it isn't necessary in my eyes. Familys are the most important thing you can have in life especially when your a child-teenager.

Provenceein3 said: 'Adopted children often feel they are abandoned regardless of how much the adopted parent loves and cares for them. Perhaps when the donor was only doing it for the money a child from those eggs would feel a little bit the same'.
and Sarahstarfish said: 'To be honest, egg donation isn't really a walk in the park for a donor, and does take up a bit of time for a couple of months of your life with appointments, blood tests etc, so you really need to make sure you are doing it for the right reasons'.
Firstly I believe that my reasons are the right reasons as stated above, and I don't believe that is it selfish to ask for money if it is for my own childrens future. Also if a child is going to feel abandoned because they were told thier donors did it for money, why wouldn't they also feel abandoned knowing they were a donor and not thier mothers genetic make-up?? It would be rewarding aswell to have the 'warm feeling of helping someone', but why not also for reasons of future security for my own children. That may seem selfish to some people but that is my opinion. Either way after reading how so many people feel about telling the child the circumstances, I wouldn't be able to find someone willing to agree to my conditions, and I wouldn't agree to do it otherwise.

Thank-you for your opinions. Good Luck to everyone searching for an egg donor- I hope you find the right donor. :o I don't judge anyone for thier opinions in anyway either, my opinions are just different and i hope that they are respected as i have yours. :thumbsup:

[mumma_jessy]

I have been thinking about egg donation since my last child. We have decided not to have any more children and i would like to bless someone with a baby of their own to love and cherish.

However the financial side of things has shocked me a little, although most couples will pay for all treatment, i think expecting someone to go through injections, pain of egg removal, loss of income through many appointments and the challenge of being a good mother and wife through the mood swings and all of this is is pretty much impossible.

I understand that people want people to give through kindness and love, which is why i would be doing it, but honestly wouldnot expect someone to give to me without any sort of compensation.

I think that as soon as that egg is in someone elses body, it is no longer mine, as it grows and grows up to be someone elses son or daughter i would expect no contact, but i would expect a little something to secure my own childrens future.

I respect everyones opinion but if you had to, most people would be happy to pay a little something to get the child they have always dreamed of and i beleive that instead of a ban by the government they should inforce a strict councellor controlled compensation.

[sarahstarfish]

Hi Jess

The whole point of altruistic egg donation is to ensure women are doing it for the RIGHT reasons alone - and that is to help someone, not make a few bucks. That's the law in Australia and I for one am very thankful that we have placed such importance on not allowing women to make money from those unfortunate enough to be infertile, on not allowing women to damage themselves through ongoing donor cycles in order to make money, on not allowing genes to be bought and sold as simply as any other good on a shop shelf.

Egg donors are not out of pocket, but are refunded expenses incurred such as parking, time off work, childcare, petrol etc. I just don't see why donors need to be compensated - you either care enough to go through it for someone, or you don't. Pretty simple.

We'll just have to agree to disagree.

Cindy

[kymmy]

'babies for the rich supplied by the poor'. :shame:
that is probably true but i think it makes sense if the rich want a baby they can help support someone who may not have much

[provencein3]

what if the poor want a baby....how do you distinguish who you donate to....why is one person more deserving because they have money

[sarahstarfish]

Hi Krystaal

You can't donate in Australia any more unless you are prepared to be contacted in the future by any people born from your gift. There are no longer any completely anonymous donations allowed anywhere in Australia. Because of this, recipients will probably be more and more likely to be counselled about telling their children, and telling them early, so that it is just a part of who they are, no big deal. Having access to their donor's details allows them the security of knowing that in the future their questions will be answered, that they may be able to meet their genetic half-siblings and finally know that other half of where they come from, whose curly hair they have, whose gift for music, whose inability to catch a ball. The things that those of us who know both our maternal and paternal gene pool already know, and take for granted.

We as donors and recipients may think we know what is 'best' for those lives that are donor conceived. But if we listen to them and hear what they want, they WANT to know they are donor conceived, the want to know where they come from, they want access to the information from their donors and donor's families. It is natural human curiosity to want to know where you come from, what your true and complete life story is. Thankfully donor offspring will now have better access to this information.

There are some stories from people who are donor conceived here if you are interested in reading them. These are the people I think we should be listening to, not what 'we think' is best for them, but what THEY think now, as adults, would have been best for them...

http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=18392

Payment is illegal for egg donation in Australia - life is something sacred and miraculous and shouldn't be for sale.

Cindy

Krystall, this is what I mean...

http://freespace.virgin.net/dcnet.we...S/Susannah.htm

Susannah age 14 (Nov.2000) Two interviews regarding her feelings on being a donor offspring

"Tracing my donor is something I am definitely going to try to do. It's very hard growing up and not knowing the other side of your genetic background and also dangerous if there is a history of family diseases. It's not that I feel deceived or let down by the medical profession but I don't feel complete and at the least I want to know what colour eyes my donor has. As much as I get all the love and support I need at home, it really upsets me when people say things like 'I have my father's nose and my mother's mouth' as they don't realise how special it is just to say that. When you know which bits of you came from your mum and your dad then you can focus on who you are. Trying to figure that out is hard enough let alone being a DI child and only knowing half. Knowing could establish what is what and help me feel relaxed and secure.

My father is 100 per cent undoubtedly Walter Merricks - the person who has been there since the day I was born, the man who wants me as his daughter, the man who loves me with all his heart, the man who has always been there for me and always will be. In no way would I ever consider my donor as my father, he is my genetic father but 'father' by itself sounds wrong. He gave me life and my parents great joy, but nothing else. I would like to think I will find my donor and though I know it is unlikely, my motto for life is 'never say never', so I am not going to give up without a fight. I respect the fact that donors want their privacy, but being a DI child I would do almost anything, including going to court, to find the man who gave me life. "

"I can't remember my parents telling me I was a donor baby - it is something I just seem to have always known about. Not only does that make it feel normal to me, if anything it makes me feel a bit special. At school one day when I was about eight I remember us having a biology lesson and everyone saying things like, 'I look like my dad or I have my mum's nose.' Right from then, whenever the subject was raised I would always say I was born through DI and they would ask what it was. I loved telling them because it made me feel special. I am not at all ashamed about it. There have been very few occasions when people have said anything negative. Sometimes people ask me what it says on by birth certificate. That is something I do feel very sensitive about because my dad is Walter and that's what it says on my birth certificate - they always put down the social father's name. But people don't intend to be horrible by asking questions. Oddly, it was a teacher who had the most problems dealing with it. She was talking about genetics and how the mother and father make a baby. I said that not everyone knows their biological father and there was such a thing as donor insemination. She was a bit shocked and didn't know what to say. That was strange to me because most people are usually interested and if they don't understand they ask me about it. But this teacher couldn't take the concept on board and I found that upsetting. I once had a really big argument with a friend when I was 10. She was threatening to tell the whole school that I didn't have a real father. I think it was more because it was something that she felt uncomfortable about and she didn't really know what to make of it. In the end she didn't tell anyone and although I was upset by her behaviour, it wasn't really a problem because of the way I have been raised to believe in myself. She thought it would hurt me and that I would believe I didn't have a real father. But that is just not true. Walter is undoubtedly my father. He's the man who wanted me to be born and I am thankful for that. Your father is the person who raises you and who is there for you. Walter is 100 percent my father. I've never had any doubts about him loving me. To me he is simply my dad. He helps me with my homework, cooks me dinner when I'm not well and is always there for me. I know I can trust him and I love him.

I admire dad. He's like a living encyclopaedia, but he's also sensitive towards me and always seems to know what to say. He knows when to be strict and when to be nice. He's just really sweet and I'm glad he's my father. On day, though, I would like to trace my donor father because I hate not knowing half of my genetic side. Other people take it for granted that they can say they look like their mum or have their father's mouth, but I can't do that. I sometimes fantasise about what my donor father looks like. I have little pictures in my head of him being blonde like me because my mum's family is Italian and they are all dark, so me being blonde is kind of weird. I'd also like to know the other half of my nationality and I usually think he's Swedish or Dutch because of my colouring and height. The thing that really fascinates me is finding out about his personality. My mum can get mad really easily - it's her Italian blood - and even Dad can get a bit worked up about things, but I'm very laid-back. I believe it is a basic human right for a DI child to know about her donor. I respect that he may not want to be named but I think donors should at least put down details of what they look like, the colour of their eyes and their height - basic things like that. If I knew what colour eyes my donor father had that would help me let go of a breath I have been holding on to for ages and make me feel better.

It really is about knowing these tiny details. It is the little things that matter. I'd also like to know what my donor likes and dislikes, his hobbies, favourite TV shows, his views on life, what he believes in an d what his values are. I believe these things are the key to understanding myself.

I think it is hard enough as you are growing up to find out who you really are without not knowing the full genetic equation. In your teenages years you are learning the basics about what clothes you like to wear and what magazines you want to read. It is hard to discover these things because you are surrounded by so many influences and get a lot of peer pressure. I know it is normal to feel insecure as a teenager, but I feel it is extra hard for me. The idea of knowing the other side seems to make other people's lives a whole lot easier. That is what is important for me. My motto for life is 'never say never' and I am going to try to do everything I can to find my donor. I don't want to live my life and say I didn't try, even though I do think it's highly unlikely I will be successful."

_______________

Hey Thinking_about-it

Tosh on that silly clinic - bet they wouldn't be knocking you back if you brought them your own recipients with a cool $7K for the clinic coffers! Some clinics are a bit slow to cotton on to the the fact that a huge number of donations today are known donations, where donor and recipient find each other through ads/forums and reach an agreement on what will happen throughout the donation and into beyond. For example, they get to konw each other a little, probably meet each other and decide upon things like future contact or updates etc..most donors simply want an annual photo and letter.

There is so much info right here on hubub, and if you can't find it, just ask, we have a few EDs and IPs who would be more than happy to answer your questions. Once you are comfortable with your decision and the things you think you might want from your donation, then start approaching some of the Lovelies who have placed ads here (one person at a time so other recipients don't get unnecessarily turned down). Then get to know them, and if you both like each other, THEN go back to the clinic and say "See, I told you so!" No seriously, do all your homework, and then you konw exaclty what you want in your IPs. Just hoy if you have any questions..sorry the clinic wasn't awfully helpful.

Good luck!

Love

Cindy

[Mum2AandJ]

''' I just don't see why donors need to be compensated - you either care enough to go through it for someone, or you don't. Pretty simple. '''


That was totally disrespectful, to put it down to that.:shame: You may feel a certain way, but others don't agree with your opinion, and you need to accept that. You think it's a matter of whether the donor cares enough to do it for someone. What about my children and all the time i'm not with them during the donation, or are they not as important as the egg donation. You can do a egg donation and don't have to have just one reason, I have two reason why I would. It would be 1- because i can give someone a gift that they can't naturally achieve themselves, 2- to secure a better future for my children, whether it be thier education or trust fund. I agree with mumma_jessy, I wouldn't expect anyone to give to me without any sort of compensation. I wouldn't do it anyway now because I wouldn't want the child to be told. Either way yes definately agree to disagree... but there is no need for pot shots because you feel differently about it!

[sarahstarfish]

Hey Krystal

Was not a potshot - it is illegal to ask for payment, so it comes down simply to whether or not you are prepared to do it.


Cindy

[kymmy]

what if the poor want a baby....how do you distinguish who you donate to....why is one person more deserving because they have money

that is why it is unethical, i would say

if you are going to give an egg, that a woman doesn't have alot of, and go through that sort of pain u should be compensated.

Hey Krystal

Was not a potshot - it is illegal to ask for payment, so it comes down simply to whether or not you are prepared to do it.


Cindy

We are talking hypotheticals, aren't we?

[mumma_jessy]

Isn't there an egg donation shortage?
If compensation were allowed i'm positive this would not be the case!
I'm not saying that the couple should have to pay, the government are trying to convince more people to have babies maybe they should pay, if they paid would you still think it was un-ethical??

[kymmy]

Isn't there an egg donation shortage?
If compensation were allowed i'm positive this would not be the case!
I'm not saying that the couple should have to pay, the government are trying to convince more people to have babies maybe they should pay, if they paid would you still think it was un-ethical??

Bingo-That is what I was thinking!
If a third party like the govt. it would be a pie in the sky, though ideal,
could put up some money or something....?

[provencein3]

but kymmy didn't you just agree that the fact that one person would get it over another because they can afford to pay makes it unethical!

If you want the government to pay I suggest also you read about the debate that occurred I think it was at the end of last year about the government paying for IVF.

And at the end of the day the government isn't printing money. They get it from somewhere so would you be happy for your taxes to be increases thus disadvantaging your family, so that they could afford to pay you for egg donation.

[Mum2AandJ]

kymmy said that it is unethical that the rich get the eggs over the poor because the payment comes from the reciepient, is unethical. She agreed then that if the govt' covered a percentage it would be a lot easier for the families who can't afford to pay the full renumeration.

The govt' will just find something else to increase taxes for anyway!!! It would be in the govt' best interest for the future because other wise there won't be enough Australiansin the workforce and they will have to sell all thier jobs oversea to get workers. Like they are doing already. I would be happy to have my taxes increased for the egg donation reason, over paying for John Howard to fly to America every couple of weeks, to kiss George Bush's a*se anyday

[provencein3]

does anyone know if you add baking powder to plain flour will it be the same as self raising flour

[Mum2AandJ]

yes it does, add 2level teaspoons of baking powder with 225g of plain flour :confused:

[provencein3]

thanks krystalaa

[kymmy]

but kymmy didn't you just agree that the fact that one person would get it over another because they can afford to pay makes it unethical!

yes!
But I am not sure how somebody could be selfless and get 'nothing' in return
Though I understand doing it to help someone
Personally I would love to help someone in that way
But I can only imagine doing it in such a selfless way for someone I knew very well
ie. sister, best friend, etc

If you want the government to pay I suggest also you read about the debate that occurred I think it was at the end of last year about the government paying for IVF.

And at the end of the day the government isn't printing money. They get it from somewhere so would you be happy for your taxes to be increases thus disadvantaging your family, so that they could afford to pay you for egg donation.


We pay taxes for a reason. It may as well be used for a good cause.
We have a surplus, don't we?


The govt' will just find something else to increase taxes for anyway!!! It would be in the govt' best interest for the future because other wise there won't be enough Australiansin the workforce and they will have to sell all thier jobs oversea to get workers. Like they are doing already. I would be happy to have my taxes increased for the egg donation reason, over paying for John Howard to fly to America every couple of weeks, to kiss George Bush's a*se anyday

Exactly!
Family should be a priority, if you ask me...

[Roxy]

altruistic

adj : showing unselfish concern for the welfare of others

I do not believe that women should sell their eggs, which is exactly what they would be doing if they accepted money from a recipient couple.

You dont get paid for your donation of blood that saves peoples lives.

Body organs and products are not for sale - how can you put a price on body parts, no matter how small they may seem?

I spent a total of no more than about 3 hours away from my children during my donation - including egg pickup. I don't agree that such a small amount of time in the grand scheme of your life should be compensated for.

As Sarahstarfish has mentioned, payment for donation is illegal in Australia. Sure, there is a black market at work, where Australian women are being paid for their eggs - IMO all black market trade (regardless of what is being bought and sold) is illegal and unethical.

Egg donation isnt about you as a donor - it has far reaching repercussions. I can't begin to imagine how I would feel not being able to answer the screening questions for my pre-addmittance interview at the hospital when I had my babies. Or when asked the questions "Is there a family history of ______?" ....

You know your genetic history-you are able to trace your family tree with great accuracy, why shouldnt donor conceived people have that same right?

I do agree that ED is a very contentious, emotional and heated debate...that said, I didnt donate to one of my closest friends to make sure that I could provide for my children's future. It's not someone else's responsibility to make sure that I can pay for cars, uni education or home deposits.

Good luck with your decisions. :)

[Mum2AandJ]

Thank-you everyone for your opinions and everything else, I have learnt what I needed to know and made my own decisions. Good luck to you all with your decisions. Feel free to start your own thread about egg donation. :)