How much does it cost to set up house?

[PinkTurtle]

I thought maybe some of you ladies might have an idea on how much it costs to set up house from scratch... Maybe some of you have done it when leaving your DH or DP's?

I was going to transfer 5k from my husband's account and run - but he has changed his password and he apparently has money else where he would be willing to pay me instead of going through court. He knows i've seen a solicitor and I think he A. doesn't want to go through court because he doesn't want to have to sell his farm and B. because he probably doesn't want me to get as much as i'm entitled to. That's all fine with me, I just want a reasonable amount, not take him to the cleaners. Enough to set up house, have something in the bank for emergencies and I'm also going to ask for the family car - or since it's not completely paid off - a replacement car. He's asking me to give him a price... I'm really not quite sure how much to say. I have no idea how much it will cost to buy everything needed for a house with two kids? Any advice would be appreciated. We are negotiating via phone at the moment, although I am still in the house - he is up north working. I intend to leave on Tuesday before he gets home... he has a way of manipulating me, so it's best if I can get out while I can. He is already making me feel guilty and feel like it's my fault and that things would just be easier for me to just put up with our life. :rain:

[Zada]

Will you be renting?
Basically youll need bond(4 weeks rent) + 2-4 weeks rent in advance
Then when your first power/gas bills come in they will have a small charge (say around $20) for connection fees
Then theres net/phone connection fees
Also if you need furniture theres say $2000 for the basics + all extras like cutlery, plates etc
Also a huge food shop when you move in is expensive.
Id go with a figure of around $4k as a minimum if you could

[Benji]

I think I'd be asking for around the $4-5K figure too.

Will you have any furniture? Kids furniture?

If not, you will struggle if you get much less than that amount.

I moved out with absolutely nothing almost a year ago and my house is still almost bare. I think I've actually probably spent over a couple of thousand trying to get it back to normal too.

[OJandMe]

electricty,phone and gas all have connection fees...
so you'd be looking at around $200 for those.

Plus the internet if you want that. Iinet does a pretty good deal, my sister uses them. I think it's about $50 a month, but about $150 to set up coz you need the modem.

Household wise.. Fantastic Furniture does packages... google them. They have homestarter packages... then you'd need stuff for the kids rooms.

You'll need white goods. Washing machine, fridge, and appliances, microwave, kettle, toaster... they're not cheap. you'd be looking at about $1500 just for those.

I'd be asking for about $5k too if I was leaving.

[spunkysmum]

i agree with the others but i would ask for a little bit more just so you can have a little money in the bank to back you up incase something comes up that your not expecting
BUT :)
i personally would be leaving with nothing and going to stay with family and go through court and come to an agreement through them just because when i left the ex he promised me so much eg he would pay my bond when i found a house he would help pay my car rego when i moved he would do a big grocery shop for me and ds ,that we would go through towels and sheets etc and work out what i needed to start with well lets say the only thing i walked out with was ds clothes and cot

good luck :hugs:

[daemynsmum]

if you can get emergency housing its a 3 month thing before dept of housing finds you somewhere permanent it has everything in it. the only problem with that is that you will have to stay with friends or family until that comes thru. in qld connection for power and gas isnt needed but you do pay an $80 secuirty depoisit. if renting a 3 bedroom house in my area goes for about $215pw so rent and bond plus furniture white goods and sheets,towels,cultery, plates. if you can take some sheets, blankets, towels, with you when you leave even if it is only one set per person. you can normally pick up a dinner set from a $2 shop for about $15 and cultery for about $5 i'd ask for about $7000 that should set you up and still leave some $$ in the bank for emergencies and anything we have forgotten. i'd also cahnge your bank details if he knows them.(ie password)

[PinkTurtle]

Gosh! I was thinking more along the lines of asking for 25k??... Does that sound too greedy? I really wanted to have some money aside because I know if something goes wrong my Ex won't help me. When I spoke to the solicitor - with just the figures I gave him he said i'd be entitled to atleast 100k, but he didn't have all the figures he needed and was going to ring me tomorrow. I'm not expecting that much - Like I said, I don't want to wipe him out... But I want a fair, reasonable amount as I'm going to have our two children to build a life for. So I was thinking of asking of 25k plus car... Give me your opinions - honestly! I wouldn't know how much a fridge and all those white goods cost... I'm pretty sure when we bought our fridge it cost over 1k - but it's a double fridge with ice maker/water thingos and our washing machine was $1100 from memory... I know I won't need expensive stuff - but I have no idea of the prices of these things otherwise. I don't think I'll be leaving with any of the furniture or things other than my daughters toys and our clothes.... I thought of taking the cot and her furniture but perhaps that is best I leave them here so when she visits him, he is set up for her and he will have to get furniture himself for the newborn - but i've read that they don't recommend over night visitations until over 12 months...

ETA - As for internet, I won't have a computer - I won't be able to take the one from our home and I don't want the extra expense if you know what I mean. I don't want to over commit myself with bills etc.

[flick82]

Gosh! I was thinking more along the lines of asking for 25k??... Does that sound too greedy?

I dont think that sounds to greedy. All the small things do add up. When you take everything into consideration, bond, food, basic furniture, white goods, I think at least $15 000. and then you will have change! I got my fridge (decent size), 7kg front loader and microwave for $2000.

[SmileyBJ]

Gosh! I was thinking more along the lines of asking for 25k??... Does that sound too greedy?

I don't think 25k would be too greedy at all. You have 2 children to take care of, need to find a house, rent + bond, food shopping, petrol, furniture, fridge, freezer, microwave, kettle, toaster, washing machine, and electrical things like a telly etc? Electricity bills, phone, car rego and repayments. Furniture don't come cheap either, 2nd hand can be fantastic! You'll also need things like linen, towels, curtains, cups, plates, toiletries, a vacuum etc??

[Yummy_Mummy]

I think you should get as much as you are entitled to as if your brought lots of things with your ex then technically its all half yours.

Good luck..but if you dont get too much i would prob say it costs about 7k to get set up with some extra money aside

[PinkTurtle]

Thanks guys! I don't want to take what the law sees i'm entitled to because I just don't want to hurt him like that and I know it would even though he is such a d!ck and a pretty lousy husband. I know if I were to take him through the legal system he'd probably have to sell the farm - it's worth just under a million dollars and we don't have anywhere near that paid off, plus all the things that go with the farm. Plus I haven't worked for much of the time as I've just been a housewife, then a mother... Although the solicitor did say that they still class that as a lot in regards what i've contributed - I just don't feel like i've contributed by working my butt off like he has. I just want him to give us enough to not have to struggle whilst setting up a new life. I don't even know if he will give us anywhere near 25k - but all I can do is put if forth and see what he says I suppose. I am trying to do the right thing by him by staying (when I finally do rent) local (despite not having any family or support in the area for myself) so he can have regular access to the children. It's such a tough spot to be in and I hate the situation... it's horrible! I look at our first daughter (we have another due in a couple of months) and wonder how I have the right to take something so precious away from him - maybe I should just put up with it all so the kids have their father. It's so confusing..

If he does pay me the 25k and gives me a car... would that affect centrelink payments or child support payments, not recieving either yet - but apparently the forms are in the mail.

If we don't settle on an amount ourselves, the solicitor said I'd be entitled to spousal support payments... Does anyone know anything about these payments?

[mum2bubba]

Do you have any family/friends who can leand you things?

Also it'd be a good idea to have a look in second-hand stores or opshops for basics like funiture, cookware etc. Alot cheaper.

[pegasaurus]

I would tell him you want $30,000 but will take $25,000 if he pays you with cleared funds by the end of the week. If he's smart he'll pay you out quick smart. (yes you can probably set yourself up for less, but that's not the point)

Be warned - I believe that when you separate there is a limited time (I think two years from separation date -legal aid can advise) when you, as the one with least assets, can challenge the financial settlement. So if you find 6-12 months down the track that he is mucking you about, please don't delay in pursuing a larger settlement for you and the kids. After all, ultimately it is your children he is providing for.

I don't believe lump sum financial settlements affect centrelink (unless you are buying a house etc.) but again hopefully legal aid can advise.

Good luck :hugs:

[~ElectricPink~]

Well....it cost me about 2 grand to set up house.....BUT that was with a lot of help, furniture given to me or bought secondhand, help with bond through Department of Housing (check if you may be eligible), a whitegoods loan to pay off, rather than hiring a removal truck my family helped move things.

Also, when you connect electricity, if you arrange a payment plan, you are exempt from paying connection fee. Also, it takes the stress out of worrying about bills coming in! My last bill I was $32.50 ahead :)

But if you can get more so that you can set up comfortably without stress, by all means do so!!

Good luck with it all!

[SimplyMum]

I think considering you are buying everything from scratch, including kids furniture, your own and general living furniture plus whitegoods and kitchen appliances- I think 25K is reasonable (if you can get it). Although on short notice it might be hard. I would honestly go for what the lawyer suggested and go from there. Remember you can always put some money aside for the kids future if you don't feel right in taking the 100K.

You also can buy things second hand and such. I bought all my whitegoods second hand- although after a year, I need a new washing machine. Mine takes a whole day to do a load, although I can still push it for the next 6months or so- it still washes just very slow!

[SassyMummy]

If you're buying EVERYTHING from scratch, you'll likely need a decent sum!

You can do it on the cheap, but if your husband (ex?) can afford to give you more, then you certainly deserve it. Why should you and your children be scouring the shelves at Lifeline when he's got a new leather couch (for example)?

I'd ask for MORE than I actually needed... because there's always stuff you forget to think of.

I mean, earlier this year when I left my ex, he wouldn't let me take any bedlinen (except for DDs, which he obviously had no use for).

I was really poor, and got everything as cheap as I could and on sale... and for pillows, 1 sheet set, 1 doona and quilt cover set, it cost me $250... and that's doing it as absolutely cheaply as I could. That's a decent sum of money for JUST some cheap cr*ppy bedding when you think of it.

I've found a lot of the cost goes straight to the kitchen. Just needing hundreds of little items... like tongs, pans, pots, racks, knives, boards, graters, peelers... etc etc etc. There's just heaps of little inexpensive items that DO add up in the end.

The higher priced items are the ones you can get for a range of prices... it really depends on how much you want to spend. You could get a $300 sofa from Ikea, for example, or spend $1000 on something the same size. It just depends on what YOU want.

If you've been told you're entitled to $100 000, and all you're asking for is $25 000, then really, you can't possibly consider yourself greedy.

Take what you can, because you may not need it now.... but you certainly will in future.

[Nex]

I'd be looking at asking the equivalent of an average annual wage in your area, per year of the marriage.

So if your average wage is 20k and you've been married 5 years that's 100k.

Does he understand thoroughly if you ask him for 'set up' money now (ie 20k) that he will still have to pay you a settlement? Or will he think that if he pays you money now that he won't owe you anything else.

I wouldn't leave willingly with anything less than 20k under my belt if I had kids to worry about.

Either that or leave them with him for a while, if it's at all possible.

[PinkTurtle]

SassyMummy - Thanks that's what I was thinking too... I don't need really expensive stuff, but I'd like to not have to struggle and be stressed over buying things and like you said, there will be oncoming costs that I haven't thought of. I'm happy to go second hand with furnishings and appliances, but not crappy stuff cause like you say, why should he have a house full of nice ritzy things and his children live on scraps and rags.

I was thinking that this payout would be settlement because he'd still have to pay child support and like I said, I don't want to be a cow and take EVERYTHING... My Mother did that when I was small and I hated it. My Dad literally had nothing. But it's not like my ex can't afford it.. He has a really good wage! He is self employed underground coal mining and earns anywhere from 20-24k per month (that is gross, but it's still a substancial amount!) plus he has an income off the farm as the farm we have is a cultivation farm with a few head of cattle and lamb... I know even if I did take the 100k that the solicitor said i'd be 'atleast' entitled to he would recover financially - but I just feel horrible taking it. I always remember my Dad going on about my Mum doing it to him when I was small and I hated my Mum for it. I remember names people used to call my mother saying she was a low life etc. It wasn't nice. Also my ex is a bit wounded still because 5 years before we even met, he was living with a girl for 1 year and a half and when they split she took him to court and she got more than half of everything and they didn't even have kids and weren't even married. She got two cars, one of the houses and all the furniture plus half the bank balance. Through-out their relationship she only worked 3 days a week part time. He is still pretty cut about this and has tried to put everything now into a trust to guard himself from it happening again - but my solicitor said that since we are married and have children that it won't stop me getting anything. In saying all this, the only way I would possibly just take what i'm entitled too is if he gets nasty - well he isn't being very nice at the moment... but I guess he is just hurting. I'm trying to do the right thing by him in everyway I can as he is still a human being and the man I married 'was' a good man.

ETA - Again about my mother - yesterday I rang her to get her opinion on how much i'd need to 'start again' and how much should I ask for and that I only want to enough to get start up house and have some extra savings. She said.. 'Just ask for a house.' She meant him buy me a house. She even once said to me when I rang up crying and really upset asking her to help me leaving, 'just stay with him!! You'll get more out of him if you stay longer'. THIS is what I DON'T want to be like. Gawd she seriously gives me the absolute sh!ts sometimes.