...if you couldn't have your own kids, would you adopt from o/s?

[alicesmum]

I have a question i would like a variety of responses to :)

I was just chatting with a friend yesterday and she was telling me about couples she knows of who have been doing IVF for 10 years or more.

i remarked that it was strange they hadn't got the ball rolling on inter-country adoption in all that time. i told a story about a colleague of mine who did IVF for a few years and then, with her husband, adopted a gorgeous boy from Korea and a then a little girl from Cambodia.

She mentioned she could never do it (inter-country adoption); the reasons being that the child would look nothing like you, people staring/talking, and other kids teasing your child.

It reminded me that the one amazing thing about being alive is that we all see things differently. i had never considered these issues before. my DH and I have talked about adopting (prob from China) if we were to want a third child. we have no fertility problems (two 'accidents' within a 13 month time period!). just a great act of charity in an already over-populated world :p

My question is: if you couldn't have your own kids and you could afford it (it can leave you $20K out of pocket, but so can enough IVF!) would you adopt a child from o/s, considering most, if not all, inter-country adoptions are from Asia or Africa?

looking forward to hearing about other people's perspectives! ;)

[misskittyfantastico]

Absolutely. I don't think looking alike makes people more of a family.

[Ana Gram]

If I so desparately wanted I child I would. I don't really get why you wouldn't but I've never desparately wanted a child.

[Mylittleboy]

For sure, I think it's such a great act of love.

[nemosmum]

If we couldnt have kids and could afford $20G yes I dont see why not,

I would probably want to adopt an aussie child (maybe Indigenous) but I am guessing it is easier to adopt from another country? am I right? If so that is sad IMO

My son has a friend at kindy who is adopted from China, she is beautiful and her parents are extremly happy as you can imagine:smiliedance: :D

I have a friend who has fertility problems and cant use IVF but they dont want to adopt as they want their own biological child, each to their own:)

[alicesmum]

nemosmum
as i understand it is much easier (read, quicker) to adopt from another country than from within australia, though it can still take 12-24 months or longer i think. however, i think you can wait 6-10 years to adopt 'internally' as very few children go up for adoption here because ppl are supported financially and socially these days to keep their children. countries like china, cambodia, ethiopia, and many many others have orphanages literally bursting at the seams. yes, it is extemely sad :gloomy:

i would love to be able to afford to adopt a dozen!!!! (just call me angelina jolie;) i quite agree that i wouldn't want to push out 13 babies either. god love 'er!)

[mum33]

If we couldnt have kids and could afford $20G yes I dont see why not,

I would probably want to adopt an aussie child (maybe Indigenous) but I am guessing it is easier to adopt from another country? am I right? If so that is sad IMO

My son has a friend at kindy who is adopted from China, she is beautiful and her parents are extremly happy as you can imagine:smiliedance: :D

I have a friend who has fertility problems and cant use IVF but they dont want to adopt as they want their own biological child, each to their own:)


same here... i would choose to adopt an aboriginal child and failing that i would be a carer to aboriginal kids and maybe adopting from overseas. most probably korea.

[bronny-jane]

im not really the parenting type, so this might sound bad, but i wouldnt raise any kids that werent mine..just not maternal...i do love my kids though:D

[EskimoMumma]

I wouldnt be able to do it. Id be more then happy to financially support a good friend of relative if they wanted to though (if they were capable and the likes as well)

For me, IMO, if you were meant to have a child, you have it, If not bugger. It doesnt mean im against IVF or the likes, im all for it!

[mum33]

a friend who is tongan, his mother gave up one of his biological brothers to her aunt or aunt-in-law (cant remember which it is..:confused: ). she gave up his brotherwhen he was just a baby as thats apparently what they do when a member of the family cant naturally have her own children.

[Oscar's mum]

Definately would adopt without a question, don't have that sort of money though.:(

[kymmy]

My hubby and I talked about this before we got married
and agreed we would do anything to have a family.:thumbsup:

[MumsieMel]

I would in a heart beat!!! :yes: :yes:

[nemosmum]

Good luck Jacinta with your visits:hugs:

Good post too:thumbsup:

[Foxy]

Yes, if I was in that situation, then I would definitely adopt a child from another country, love is love - no matter what the biology.

Jacinta, hope everything goes well for you - good luck! :)

[andi]

Just a couple of things - I probably should not post this but my stomach is turning and I can't help myself...

Warning: I am the Mother to three of my very own beautiful children. Who also happen to be adopted from overseas.

Firstly...the term "your own" children is really offensive to me (and most adoptive parents). firstly the term implies ownership...and secondly we do have our 'own' kids. They are our daughters and we are their REAL parents. I love our girls totally...with my heart, body and soul. They are so much a part of me/ us...and came from our love for each other that I can not imagine loving a birth child more. To the peson that said they could never adopt as they couldn't imagine loving a child that wasn't their own....I actually applaud your honesty. And I am glad that you wouldn't ever adopt. But please know that for the thousands of af adoptive families out there.....please NEVER think that we EVER, for one moment, consider our children as not being our own...or love them in any other way than as though they had been born to us.

Secondly.....the charity comment....oh I could go on and on.......

I know many many adoptive families and not ONE of those families has ever pursued adoption as an method of building a family because they thought that they would like to perform an act of charity. It actually hurts me to think that there are people out there that think my children are 'charity' or 'good deeds'. Having a child as an act of charity implies that my children should be grateful for the mere fact of having parents and a loving family. No child should EVER be required to feel grateful for this. Sure my kids have a loving family...but they have also LOST so much. They are far from 'lucky'. They lost their birth families, the people that cared for them until we met them, their first culture, language, birth rights, rights to privacy....they lost EVERYTHING. We did not adopt them as charity but from an intense desire to have a family of our very own. They are not lucky (we hear this a lot). We are. Let me ask you - how do you or your children feel if I implied that you had given birth to them because you wanted to do a good deed or perform an act of charity? Oh I could cry from the weight of responsibility that would be placed on that poor child's shoulders. And how do you think you might feel about your act of charity at three oclock in the morning as you comfort a screaming babe whilst wiping vomit off the walls and changing sheets? A child must be loved totally, unconditionally. if you have adopted them as an act of charity do you think you could always feel this....for the rest of your life? We love our kids as our own....day in day out... plain and simple. As you do yours. If anyone is thinking they would like to adopt as an act of charity - go sponsor a child or something like that. Actually you would probably not even get through the process as the social workers are very good at ensuring people have a better understanding of adoption before they approve them.

I am sorry to go on and on - I am very passionate about this. Actually - I am not sorry. I need to do this for my children. Because it is YOU that will pass on your attitudes and beliefs about adoption to your children....and it is YOUR children that will tease mine...or inadvertadly hurt mine...by the beliefs that they too hold.

Andi (mama to three beautiful girls from overseas).

[nemosmum]

Andi- Firstly can I say Welcome to Bubhub:wave:

Secondly I want to say Im really sorry if this thread or any of the posts on here have offended you I am sure it was not the intention of the thread starter OR anyone of the posters to do so:o

I thankyou for posting your thoughts and experiences about adopting, it is great to read/hear about successful adoption experiences:D

Great post Andi:hugs:

[lukaelmo]

Firstly...the term "your own" children is really offensive to me (and most adoptive parents). firstly the term implies ownership...and secondly we do have our 'own' kids. They are our daughters and we are their REAL parents. I love our girls totally...with my heart, body and soul. They are so much a part of me/ us...and came from our love for each other that I can not imagine loving a birth child more.


Hey Andi,

I remember when the dude was born, and even now, I didn't really think "wow, DP and I made this baby". Although I know technically that we did, I just can't see it :laughing:.

Anyway, what I am so ineloquently trying to say, is that I am convinced, adopted, surrogate, whatever, your child is your child, and the love that you have for that child is not different because he/she did not grow in your tummy.

[andi]

If we couldnt have kids and could afford $20G yes I dont see why not,

I would probably want to adopt an aussie child (maybe Indigenous) but I am guessing it is easier to adopt from another country? am I right? If so that is sad IMO



uummmmm no you are not right actually!!

We have been through both processes.

The Aussie process:

three visits from a social worker
Write a 'dear birth mother letter


It cost nothing to go through this process.
Total time of process = 4 weeks
Age of child at placement - most likely to be just a few months old

International adoption:

Health checks (inc various blood tests, xrays etc)
Criminal record checks
Financial history checks
Employment checks and references
4 social worker vists
One week of education classes
A home assessment
Answering a 100 question 'test' about everything from our sex life to our attitudes on discipline
Family and friends interviews
Write a children's story book and illustrate it
Mandatory joining of an adotive parent association
Demonstrate knowledge of culture of country you wish to adopt form
Mandatory reading of various text books
Supply copies of 100 point identification - 4 originals of each


Cost state government charged us for this = $12,000K
Total time for process = FOUR YEARS!!! You can imagine how much we wanted that baby by then!
Age of child at placement - from a country like China...most likely 12 months plus.

We then needed to satisfy similar requirements (some different, some more, some less) for the country we adopted from. So you essentially go through this TWICE!

The year we went through the local program a total of EIGHT non special needs babies were placed for adoption (not including 'known' adoptions where for example a sister might place her baby with her sisters family). There are of course many more children who should be placed for adoption....but our sociaty id pretty negative about adoption and we view birth parents as having greater rights than their children....and so these children spend their lives in foster care instead. The birth family chooses the adoptive parents. Should we have been 'chosen' then we would have needed to agree to a minimum of TWELVE access visitations from birth family and their EXTENDED family.

Also indigenous children are NEVER placed with non-indigenous families. EVER. I probably don't need to explain why....

My hubby was 39 when we did this and I was 28. We were told we would never be chosen as we would be viewed as being 'too old'. We also did a lot of research and could not find any to support that 12 visitations would have been in our child's best interest. Quite the opposite in fact. So we decided to go through international adoption instead.

As Jacinta said....then raising your child can be different as well. We (our children) have had to deal with racism, staring in the street, people thinking they can ask us whatever they please in front of our kids, attachment issues, post-instituationalisation issues (one of our daughters was in a poorly resources institution and was severely delayed), post traumatic stress in another child, intense grieving in another (she missed her foster family - the only family she had ever known), trying to make sure we learn about their brth culture, amking sure that culture is a part of their lives etc etc etc. You live it every day. We love that. But the nature of our family means we can not blend in and selectively tell who we choose about our adoptions.

So is adopting from overseas easier?? I think NOT! BUT...what I will say is that adopting from Australia may be far easier....but with overseas adoption once you get through that process you can be fairly sure that one day your own precious babe will be placed in your arms!

Andi

[misskittyfantastico]

I'm curious, why is there not more Australian adoptions? I was under the impression that it was nearly impossible to adopt here?

[andi]

I'm curious, why is there not more Australian adoptions? I was under the impression that it was nearly impossible to adopt here?

You are right. I could write essays about this I am so sorry - you've hit my passion!!

In short......first off not so many people choose to place children in adoptions....better support and resources for single parent families etc etc etc. Which is a great thing of course. Then there is better/ wider access to contraception and of course abortion.

But also Australia, for political, cultural and historical reasons has a very anti-adoption culture. Birth parents rights are almost always supported over the rights of children. Last year there were almost 27,000 children living in foster care. Some of these are short term but more are in long term care. They are moved around a lot. They don't have their own families (caring for them - adoptive, birth or otherwsie). Some of these children have been living in HORRENDOUS situations that are unlikely to improve. And yet really the only way that child will be adopted is for the parents to relinquish that child. And for lots of reasons that almost never happens.

Some of these kids have special needs. If you foster these kids you get access to resources (inc $$) to support you in their care. Once you adopt them you lose access to these resources so some people don't adopt when they have the chance for practical reasons.

So in terms of a 'first' world nation Australia has a very low adoption rate but a compartively high foster care rate.

An example of the anti adoption culture in Australia is the recent baby bonus. Adoptive families were not eligible for this until very recently (and BOY did we have to lobby LONG AND HARD to be recognised in the same way birth families are). Even now if you adopt a child over the age of two you do not get this bonus (and if you think there are less costs with a child over two joining your family as compared to a new born you are wrong)!

[misskittyfantastico]

I saw this morning on "Sunrise" about special needs kids who need a family.....I was astounded, If I was unable to have a child my DH and I would happily (and scarily) adopt a special needs child here.

[nemosmum]

uummmmm no you are not right actually!!

We have been through both processes.

The Aussie process:

three visits from a social worker
Write a 'dear birth mother letter


It cost nothing to go through this process.
Total time of process = 4 weeks
Age of child at placement - most likely to be just a few months old

International adoption:

Health checks (inc various blood tests, xrays etc)
Criminal record checks
Financial history checks
Employment checks and references
4 social worker vists
One week of education classes
A home assessment
Answering a 100 question 'test' about everything from our sex life to our attitudes on discipline
Family and friends interviews
Write a children's story book and illustrate it
Mandatory joining of an adotive parent association
Demonstrate knowledge of culture of country you wish to adopt form
Mandatory reading of various text books
Supply copies of 100 point identification - 4 originals of each


Cost state government charged us for this = $12,000K
Total time for process = FOUR YEARS!!! You can imagine how much we wanted that baby by then!
Age of child at placement - from a country like China...most likely 12 months plus.

We then needed to satisfy similar requirements (some different, some more, some less) for the country we adopted from. So you essentially go through this TWICE!

The year we went through the local program a total of EIGHT non special needs babies were placed for adoption (not including 'known' adoptions where for example a sister might place her baby with her sisters family). There are of course many more children who should be placed for adoption....but our sociaty id pretty negative about adoption and we view birth parents as having greater rights than their children....and so these children spend their lives in foster care instead. The birth family chooses the adoptive parents. Should we have been 'chosen' then we would have needed to agree to a minimum of TWELVE access visitations from birth family and their EXTENDED family.

Also indigenous children are NEVER placed with non-indigenous families. EVER. I probably don't need to explain why....

My hubby was 39 when we did this and I was 28. We were told we would never be chosen as we would be viewed as being 'too old'. We also did a lot of research and could not find any to support that 12 visitations would have been in our child's best interest. Quite the opposite in fact. So we decided to go through international adoption instead.

As Jacinta said....then raising your child can be different as well. We (our children) have had to deal with racism, staring in the street, people thinking they can ask us whatever they please in front of our kids, attachment issues, post-instituationalisation issues (one of our daughters was in a poorly resources institution and was severely delayed), post traumatic stress in another child, intense grieving in another (she missed her foster family - the only family she had ever known), trying to make sure we learn about their brth culture, amking sure that culture is a part of their lives etc etc etc. You live it every day. We love that. But the nature of our family means we can not blend in and selectively tell who we choose about our adoptions.

So is adopting from overseas easier?? I think NOT! BUT...what I will say is that adopting from Australia may be far easier....but with overseas adoption once you get through that process you can be fairly sure that one day your own precious babe will be placed in your arms!

Andi

Andi- I was asking the question because I didnt know the answer no need to get aggressive with some one for wanting information.

The reason I mention Indigenous adoption is because my dh is Indigenous and I understand there is a lack of Indigenous foster/adoptive families.

And btw its not just adopted children that receive stares/comments my son is biracial so I have come across this also.

[SamanthaJane]

Putting it simply- yes i would! I have thought about adoption not because i am unable to conceive but because i find it would be a positive experience for any child coming from a third world country into australia.

I also have a friend who plans to adopt 2 children from an overseas country before she considers having a child of her own.

Having a child is a very personal thing. Therefore, you need to expect that people are always going to have very different views on things....

[andi]

Andi- I was asking the question because I didnt know the answer no need to get aggressive with some one for wanting information.

.

I do apologise if you percieve I was being aggressive. If I wanted to be aggressive I would never have bothered posting so much information - I should have thought better. I am not sure where exactly you think I was being aggressive but if that is how it came across I apologise.

We often get people tell us that we adopted from overseas because it is so easy/ the easy way etc etc etc. It isn't and I was merely trying to share that info.

Andi

[nemosmum]

No problems :)

I guess I took your post the wrong way,

And I didnt mean to insinuate O/S adoption was easy.

[blackkitty]

International adoption:
Health checks (inc various blood tests, xrays etc)
Criminal record checks
Financial history checks
Employment checks and references
4 social worker vists
One week of education classes
A home assessment
Answering a 100 question 'test' about everything from our sex life to our attitudes on discipline
Family and friends interviews
Write a children's story book and illustrate it
Mandatory joining of an adotive parent association
Demonstrate knowledge of culture of country you wish to adopt form
Mandatory reading of various text books
Supply copies of 100 point identification - 4 originals of each

As a single person thinking about overseas adoption, I have discovered the adoption process may be quite difficult especially for a single person.

Why on Earth were they asking about your sex life? That is really personal. Are some of these questions discriminatory? (I am assuming they may be trying to determine if potential parents are homosexual or potential peadophiles which excludes them from adoption). A children's book???? Do they exclude you if you don't have imagination or talent? What were the education classes? Did you adopt in NSW?

Lets hope recent reviews into overseas adoption will see some changes.

33 and counting:smiliedance:

[SassyMummy]

I would consider adoption if I couldn't have children...for sure.

However, because I CAN have my own kids(sorry for using that term adoptive-parents, but I feel that the term "biological children" sounds too impersonal for the relationship that I share with my daughter), I'd never consider adopting. It may sound unfair, but if put into a situation where I had to pick one child over the other, I think I'd choose Chanel, my DD, over my adopted son/daughter. I don't think that is fair on the child, by any means, so therefore I would not adopt (even if I had problems NOW which prevented me from having any more children).

I also wouldn't adopt any children if I could have my own because I know that there are so many other parents waiting for babies...parents that can't have their own kids. IMO (unless you are someone famous and can therefore adopt kids at the drop of a hat!), if I can have kids then I should have kids (if I want kids of course)...and leave parentless children for those parents who CAN'T have their own babies.

[mum33]

My wife and I have our own children with help of
surrogacy but when we visited office of surrogacy company
they told us about alternative for adoption.
The surrogate mother is inseminated with donor sperm so
you will get european baby without waiting for adoption.
Just in case: internsurrogacy.com

did u just join this site to plug your own??

u wrote a similar thing in another thread and with the link too..

[Pixie]

I am adopted, I was adopted by my grandfather, so knew my biological mum etc, Honestly, I wouldn't adopt if I couldn't have kids, despite growing up with people I was related to, I always wondered why I was blonde and everone else had dark hair I knew I was adopted from the age of about 2-3, but as a young child you only have what's around you to compare you can feel very lonely in a much loved family environment.

[maverick]

Post voluntarily removed.

[nemosmum]

But wouldnt that be like me asking for a refund if my biological child was born with a limb missing?????

I would still love my child no matter what

And if I was to adopt and knew the possibility of being granted a child with a disability then why should I ask for a refund????

Children with disabilities still need to be adopted and given love.

Im a bit grossed out by the term refund used in association with innocent children.

[maverick]

Sorry Jackie I was not trying to be racist or inflamatory with my post, I have friends who went through this process and they are happy with the outcome. I was merely relating their experience and what they were told by their adoption agency. This was a fact when they went through the process, maybe it has changed since then. I only wish for happy outcomes for people who adopt from overseas as it is an easier process than trying to adopt in Australia.

However I have just finished reading the guidelines on the China Centre for Adoption Affairs and it would seem that my friends experience is no longer the norm. It appears as though the process is much more streamlined now. So as my first post caused you some hurt, totally unintended, I have removed its contents and appologise to you.

[CarolineF]

The whole issue of adoption is a major passion of mine. I have an adopted brother - now 18 - who was born in the UK but his parents were from Hong Kong. I simply adore him,:kiss: and notwithstanding the 20 year age gap I could not imagine life without him. We are very close and he does not regard himself as being any different from us. How they react as they grow up is really down to how you deal with the situation as a parent/sibling. Issues of race etc can all be overcome.

As a child protection lawyer in the UK I was used to seeing young children in families that just could not raise them for a variety of reasons from the various forms of child abuse to neglect, learning difficulties etc.

If children were of a certain age - usually birth-7 - and their families could not raise them due to the level of risk we would never have a child languishing in care until it was 18. When I came over here, the whole concept of long term Guardianship orders alarmed me.

In the UK, if a child cannot be rehabilitated it would probably be freed for adoption and an appropriate adoptive placement found for it. To not try and find a permanent family for a child can do so much damage.

Children can suffer from long term attachment disorders, where for example they would not become emotionally involved with their fosterers in case they have to move on again. Its just heartbreaking. It can affect their relationships for the rest of their lives.

Admittedly, older children are a more difficult situation and maybe long term fostering is the only answer. But I know it is damaging for so many.

The other issue that i read here that sent alarm bells ringing was the assertion that it is easier to adopt in Australia than from o/s - I think 4 social worker visits and a letter to the birth mum were mentioned. That horrifies me. Why is a family any more or less of a risk because they are adopting locally? Again, I can only go by personal experience - but we had a 12 week home study undertaken by social services (and public adoptions require the same level of scrutiny as overseas), health checks, criminal checks, financila checks, references, interviews with friends, family etc etc and once the child is ready to be placed a LifeStory Book is compiled whereby photos and a history of the birth family are put together so that the child can be educated in its background etc. Along with this, the birth family can write annually to the Social Services who will put the letter in the childs file. It will then be passed on at age 18.

My Australian colleagues were horrified by the thought that abused children could find proper permanent homes via adoption.

I;m just horrified that very young children could spend their whole lives in the care system when there are so many wonderful couples/families out there who would give them a loving family home.

I have seen adoption from many perspectives both personally and professionally. Its a wonderful thing and it makes wonderful families.:thumbsup: But its just not for everyone.

[CarolineF]

Its sad to know there are some children out there, even younger than 7, who are unable to form secure attachments because of the abuse that they have gone through. Some children have anxiety attachments so will go to anybody for affection, some just won't attach for fear of rejection...it used to break my heart.:gloomy: Those are the children that would undertake therapeutic work, or not even get passed by the Adoption Panel as suitable. As you know Jacinta, working in this field is very emotional and I could have just taken them all home. I did emotionally.

There is a publication in the UK published by the adoption agencies that advertises children of all ages that are looking for a family. Oh lordy, it tears your heart out but is actually an effective way of matching approved adopters with sibling groups or older children. It is only made available to approved adopters.

My best friend in the UK has just adopted a brother and a sister aged 5 and 7 respectively. They seem to be settling well but the process took them 2 years plus.

If I was unable to have a biological child, I would adopt in a heartbeat. Even now, my dh and I would consider it. My brother is a glowing example of how fabulous adoption can be. I would consider an overseas adoption,probably China, as we have experience of adopting and raising a chinese child although not through an international agency.

[andi]

I'm not really sure what mavericks post was about as I did not get to read it before it was removed...but if I am correct it seems to be about special needs kids being referred to parents who asked for non special needs??

This is a common question that I have had about adoption...what if? What if there is something wrong with the child (I put wrong in italics as this is what we are actually asked). My response to this is: these children are our own children. And because of this (for us personally) it didn't matter if they had special needs or not. Because they were ours. I imagine it is a little like giving birth to a child. You want them to be healthy, you wish for it, you hope for it...but if there is some need there...medical or otherwise you know you will love them no matter what and just deal with it. Not to say you don't experience grief, anger, frustration. But you would not dream of asking your body for a refund!

When we were referred our first precious daughter we were told to have her medical info reviewed carefully before we decided to accept her. This was such a shock to me because from the moment we got the phone call to tell us we had a daughter, that is what this child became. Our daughter. We never could have ever thought of 'turning her down' or rejecting the referral.

All our daughters have had some needs we have had to work with. But there is no guarentee that if we had had birth kids that they wouldn't have had some need we had to also deal with. In fact many experts suggest that all internationally adopted kids have special needs...especially emotionally.

Mouse_&_Piglet thank you for your thougths. I personally think that I need t learn as much as possible from people that have been adopted. What you say is something we have really struggled with and we spent a lot of time weighing up whether we were doing the right thing by these kids. In the end it boiled down to would it be better to grow up in a institution and all that this brings (both positive and negative) versus being adopted into a family in a different country who would make plenty of mistakes but love them for all we were worth. Again positives and negatives. I guess for us we thought the second option was 'better' or we wouldn't have done it. But I know there are plenty of people that disagree with this.

[mommyof5tobe]

I originally wanted to have 5 adopted children and none of my own. My mentality and my DH's as well, was that there are so many children without loving parents or homes in the world that it seemed a bit sad to try to have our own so that they can look like us and so on. But after our first surprise pregnancy landed us with triplets and I am now pregnant with twins...I am gonna say that mentality flew out the window. But I am 100% for it, no doubt about it. sometimes I find people's mentality sad on the subject...kids are kids and they need ot be loved.

[wa mum of 4]

In a second.:yes:
I have and still do consider adopting a child from overseas.
Money permitting I would like to adopt in the next 4-5 years, failing that foster care is the next step.
All children need love and no abuse, these poor children get abused left and right. All they need is a loving home and :hugs: :kiss:

[CarolineF]

Untl you have raised or been part of a family with an adopted child, the extent of the love you feel or think you will feel is just a faraway concept. Until my parents adopted by brother (i was 20) I would never even have considered adoption.

I can tell you now, the feelings in reality for many are sheer joy. I accept that for some people it just does not feel natural.

I would do it in a heartbeat now.:D

[BlessedWithBlue]

Yes i would! If i had the finances to do so i wouldn't be wasting any time!

[oleander]

Yes I would consider adoption. I saw an episode on Oprah a while ago about the little girls in China that the parents have abandoned because they want a boy. Surely the mothers dont really want to abandon their babies - I feel they must be forced to by their family or husband. Anyway, these girls were all strapped to a bench with a trough underneath them to wee. One baby was left to die in a room by herself with no medical care. These kids never get to play outside, they dont get kisses or cuddles, its just not fair. I wanted to go there and take them all home! If I had the money I would love to save one or all of those little girls and give her the life she deserves.

[Hokey Pokey]

I would do it for sure. If I had the money I would do it NOW!