Coping with Fatigue on your own.

[MUMSIEOF2]

hi to all mums who are pregnant and looking after a toddler, with their partner working away, and in my case my toddler hardly sleeps. This is the worst torture. im in my first trimester and having MS only in the mornings :fingerscrossed: it stays like this. with dd i had all day & night. I'm finding it hard to cope, and really need to have a whinge. I try & get out and do things, then I pay for it by extreme fatigue when I get home, & then dd wont go to bed, if I stay home she whinges all day. I hope this wont last forever and im really scared about 2nd child , how will I cope???

[mum of 2 girlz]

You sound exactly like I did about a year and a half ago. I fell pregnant with my 2nd DD when #1 was about 7 months, I had really bad sickness that lasted all day. My partner was away at sea in the Navy for about 3 months and then back for a short while only to go for another month. So I spent most of my pregnancy alone, with no help. DD#1 didnt sleep through till I was about 4 months pregnant. I was so tired and exhausted from doing absoloutely everything myself, but somehow we mothers get through. Im now living in Qld while my DP is away at sea in Sydney. I have been away from him since September last year with only 2 visits from him since. It is tough, but you do cope. As he always says, think positive. I cant, its hard but there are good days. Im a pretty big sook, so if I can get through this anyone can.Good luck, and Im sure you'll do just fine

[bgbgbb]

My DH works back at least 2 nights a week, and is not home til 7 most nights. He often goes overseas for work too, for a week or 2 at a time. My 3 older kids are reasonable sleepers but DD 21months is a shocker, mainly because everytime she's stirred I have to quieten her so she wont wake the others.

We saw our paediatrician and he prescribed Valergan Forte, which is a very mild sedative (doesn't put her to sleep, but once she is alseep she'd out for the night), which I use once a week or so when I'm too exhausted to want to deal with her disturbing yet another night. I know its not a long-term solution, but the paed made the point that my mental health is quite important and if even 1 night a week can be made available to catch up on my sleep, then it wont hurt.

Then when DH is home you can both take in turns to try controlled crying techniques?

[UsThreeGirls]

hi to all mums who are pregnant and looking after a toddler, with their partner working away, and in my case my toddler hardly sleeps. This is the worst torture. im in my first trimester and having MS only in the mornings :fingerscrossed: it stays like this. with dd i had all day & night. I'm finding it hard to cope, and really need to have a whinge. I try & get out and do things, then I pay for it by extreme fatigue when I get home, & then dd wont go to bed, if I stay home she whinges all day. I hope this wont last forever and im really scared about 2nd child , how will I cope???

:hugs:

[belambrakis]

Hi girls so glad i found this thread! I sometimes feel like im the only one going thru this! My husband and his brother own a business, so My hubby is out of the house from 6am till 7pm 7 days a week! So I have 3 boys to look after and another on the way and no sleep!!! im due with number 4 in about 8 weeks and i am exhausted! When he is home he hardly helps and makes me feel bad for resting or whatever! My family are no help either! my mum doesn't help at all in fact never has! So im stuck home weekdays with a very demanding 3 year old! I so don't want another baby as im so worried as how i will cope! So great to find you girls and i look forward to your progress and valued advice!!

[UsThreeGirls]

Hi girls so glad i found this thread! I sometimes feel like im the only one going thru this! My husband and his brother own a business, so My hubby is out of the house from 6am till 7pm 7 days a week! So I have 3 boys to look after and another on the way and no sleep!!! im due with number 4 in about 8 weeks and i am exhausted! When he is home he hardly helps and makes me feel bad for resting or whatever! My family are no help either! my mum doesn't help at all in fact never has! So im stuck home weekdays with a very demanding 3 year old! I so don't want another baby as im so worried as how i will cope! So great to find you girls and i look forward to your progress and valued advice!!
:wave: No valued advise from me I'm afraid. Still struggling. But at least you know you are not alone:) In fact I think this is the end for DH and I. He has chosen a life at the beach to his family. He has the choice to just go back to working at his shop.

I try to get out at least once a day just in the hopes of adult conversation.
But I'm lucky to have a good family to help, even if it is just someone for me to visit.

Must be hard with 3! Do you have time to miss your DH?

Lucky DD is sleeping a little better and not wanting to Breast feed 3 times a night! I can actually string 2 words together now that kinda make sense.

[3girlsandcounting]

hi, im sara-jayne. my hubby does 3 on 3 off about 7 hours away.

when i got preg with #3 i had a 28 month old and a 12 month old. and i got the all day sickness.
(a quick side note- try raw veggies, they were great for sickness, heartburn and indigestion. carot, cucumber and snowpeas. oh and apples. i lived off them)

back to the point :p i would get up ready around 9.30-10 and take the girls to the park, play for an hour or so bring them home and get their lunch (this was usualy the best meal of the day for me.) then i would bf baby, put her to sleep and in the cot, get 2yr old a bottle of waterand juice/cordial (i know it will rot her teeth) and put her in her bed.
then i would shut the door, climb into bed with her and go to sleep. if she got bored and wanted to play, well then, she got out of bed and played. she couldnt leave the room, couldnt get to anyting dangerous (well till she figured out how to climb up into the cot that is) and i got to have a nap. and if she did decide to have a sleep, i got nice sleep cuddles for a while.

the trick is to lay and read a book with her or someting so i get real drowsy, then when she jumps out i just roll over and slip off to lala land. then when they wake you up, and they will wake you up. get up the first time, cause there is nothing worse than being woken up every 7 min for half an hour. it will drive you mad and make you twice as tired.

people always say sleep when the baby does. bugger that. create a safe place for them to play and then sleep when you need to. my mum likes to critisise me for sleeping when i should be supervising the kids, and if your not comfortable with it then fine. but i figure they are in no more danger than if i leave them playing unsupervised while i do washing or mow lawns or watch tv. im not goin to sleep so heavily that i cant hear if they need me. if im that tired, i keep them up as late into the afternoon as i can, switch everything off and go to bed at 6.30.

you have a little girl eh? give her a little empty face cream jar or tube and a flannel and ask her to wash mummys back, she will do it for a couple mins then think 'bugger you mum, your boring! im going to play by myself!'
:smiliedance:try to contain you dissapointment. :p

oh and make sure there are no textas in the room, i woke up one morning and me and the 12month, who had been in bed with be bf-ing since about midnight, were covered in black and green texta. not happy!!!

[kristyr]

hi to all mums who are pregnant and looking after a toddler, with their partner working away, and in my case my toddler hardly sleeps. This is the worst torture. im in my first trimester and having MS only in the mornings :fingerscrossed: it stays like this. with dd i had all day & night. I'm finding it hard to cope, and really need to have a whinge. I try & get out and do things, then I pay for it by extreme fatigue when I get home, & then dd wont go to bed, if I stay home she whinges all day. I hope this wont last forever and im really scared about 2nd child , how will I cope???
Hi Mumsie

I'm in exactly the same boat as you. Currently 11 weeks pregnant with #2 and hubby works away (3 on 1 off). Not sure how all this is going to work when the new bub arrives since #1 (14 months) still wakes up 3 or 4 times a night. I find having no freedom the hardest thing.....not being able to share the responsibility of the kids or swap over at the end of the day so that I can even just go for a walk by myself. Oh well...just the way things have to be at the moment and we are thankful that he has a job at all. Anyway thanks for listening!!:)

[MUMSIEOF2]

hi, I hope evryone is feeling better since they wrote their posts, I am going back downhill as getting into the final part of pregnancy.

Kristyr I hope your 14 mnth old starts sleeping through my dd was 15 mnth when she slept all night, i ended up getting a sleep consultant around for 2hrs, i was so sleep deprived I just couldnt see what was going on, in a daze i would get her up and put her in my bed. she went excellent after that sleeeping from 6pm to 6am, she has now started waking again arrrgghhh!!!

I suppose it helps to know they do have jobs and we are secure and we can stay home with our children.

[Cupcake85]

I can't believe I've been around for the amount of time I have and have never seen this section!

I'm currently 15 weeks pregnant with #2 and DF does 10 on, 4 off up north (10 hours away). DS has just turned 2. Sometimes I have absolutely no idea how I do it... I work fulltime and I am trying to finalise our wedding (which is in 5 weeks time) as well as dealing with the pregnancy and DS. DF keeps telling me to be positive but sometimes it is such a struggle!