Urgent help please ladies * physical abuse involved * [Archive]

munchkins

22-12-2008, 10:39

Last night DSS was acting up a little as kids do at 10, and didn't want to come out of his room. Next thing I know the guy were living with comes running past me almost knocks me over, In a really deep loud voice says to * DSS's name * 3 2 1 Get the hell out of your room, and DSS ****ting himself just sat on his bed, the next thing I know our housemate is dragging him by the feet to get him out of bed, and start hanging him upside down with his hands by the ankles shaking him. I started yelling at him to put him down as was DSS, then DF come running in and he finally put DSS down when he saw DF coming, went into his lounge and put a movie on as if nothing had happend.

I am really not sure what to do. Would you press charges and take the chance of being homeless? The guy were living with owns the house and we board of him he lives here too

WorkingClassMum

22-12-2008, 10:44

Mahjong

22-12-2008, 10:47

Press charges NOW. He physically attacked him, the amount of damage he could have done shaking him could have been devasting!

munchkins

22-12-2008, 10:47

ok that is what I thought aswell just wanted to make sure I was not over-reacting.. silly I know..

Do you know anything about emergancy housing in the state of Vic?

ladybugblue84

22-12-2008, 10:47

That sounds quite scary & I would not feel comfortable living in that house with him.

:no:

gizmoduckus

22-12-2008, 10:47

Get out now!

I would rather be homeless than put my child at that sort of risk again.

BoyCrazy

22-12-2008, 10:52

:iagree:with all the above! as far as im concerned noone has the right to discipline my kids bar me and my DP...not even relatives!!! in saying that though, what your "housemate" did to your SK is not discipline...thats abuse! :yes:

WorkingClassMum

22-12-2008, 10:53

Go to the police first and discuss the matter with them, they can then direct you to emergancy accomodation.

Try also Salvo's and St Vincents

But, if you go to the cop's first they can best direct you and you should go to the top of the lists as there's children involved and violence and abuse is the cause of your homelessness

What suburb are you in?

munchkins

22-12-2008, 10:56

Thanks so much ladies... We are in Cranbourne North

WorkingClassMum

22-12-2008, 10:57

http://www.dhs.vic.gov.au/contact-us

DHS contact info

Myztik

22-12-2008, 10:58

I agree with everything WCM has said :yes:

:hugs: for your poor DSS

munchkins

22-12-2008, 11:11

Thankyou for the link I am on hold with them now. I will let you all know how I go

munchkins

22-12-2008, 11:21

Well I called them but the lady put me through to the wrong person, I finally got throught to the right person's number but she was away from her dessk I left her a message letting her know it was urgent and to call me back asap... Now hopefully she will not take too long

Eggflip

22-12-2008, 11:30

OMFG! I can hardly beleive what i am reading you need to leave asap. If he can do that to a 10 year old he can do that to your younger children and that could be devestating. I would pack all important documents in your car and some emergency clothes and nappies bottles etc incase you need to get out in a hurry.

munchkins

22-12-2008, 12:28

OK this is not good, I told them of our complete situation and they won't help us unless were already homeless there must be someone/thing that will help us

cho

22-12-2008, 12:52

Do you have a Salvos HQ near you? You need to go and talk to them. They have welfare people there who can help you. There number will be in the phone book or just go in. Please dont give up. I dont know why the ppl above didnt help you. Let us know how you get on. HUGS.

Myztik

22-12-2008, 12:58

Try this link

http://www.vinnies.org.au/services.cfm?nocache=873463

it is the St. Vinnies services in Vic and included housing and homeless services and also womens and family refuges

MummyDaddy

22-12-2008, 13:00

I am really not sure what to do. Would you press charges and take the chance of being homeless? The guy were living with owns the house and we board of him he lives here too

1. Make a police report.
2. Tell him that behaviour is NEVER acceptable.
3. Start looking for somewhere new to live and give him notice.

You'll find somewhere else to live.

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

I don't understand why people think it's okay to treat children like that.

Queen

22-12-2008, 13:01

I would be out of there in a shot.
No one should be able to treat you DSS like that.:no:

have you got family who can help you out?

:hugs:Hope everything works out hun:hugs:

spoon

22-12-2008, 13:05

:hugs: For your little boy. :goodvibes:Good on you for keeping him safe. I am fairly certain that there are options for you as far as accomodation is concerned so dont give up. :hugs:

Hokey Pokey

22-12-2008, 13:05

OMG!
I would be very suss at what he has done in the past to this child too, the fact you mentioned that he sat on his bed like that right away says to me he was right away scared of this person!
How dare he do that to a child, that is abuse and I would be reporting him and telling the person to pack up and leave right away. Just not acceptable :no:

NibbleCurlynBub

22-12-2008, 13:06

Perhaps you could try calling the police and making a report.

That way it can be on his record and people can be wary of him being around other kids. (not that he seems like the kind of person to want to anyway)

This is not on.. I hope you get some help soon.

grass is always greener

22-12-2008, 13:40

Just wanted to give you and your DSS plenty of these :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:.

Lollie86

22-12-2008, 14:20

Have you spoken with the Salvos yet?

I would be calling the police, making a report with them and telling your housemate that what he did was unacceptable and that you are looking for other housing arrangements.

Do you have any family you could stay with until you find somewhere else?

reAllytee

22-12-2008, 20:12

I'd be laying charges and out of there like a shot

No-one, and I mean NO-ONE ever has the right to manhandle a child like that

What if it happens again and you're not there?

Has it happened before?

How far would it have gone if DF didn't arrive on the scene

I'd live in a cardboard box or a tent if I had too - NOBODY does that to my child or any child!:banghead::banghead::

:iagree:

I really hope things are being sorted for you all :hugs::hugs:

Veritas

22-12-2008, 20:30

Make a report with the police.....

Also call your state child protection services, they can help with emergency housing also..... and he will be on report as a potential child abuser..... if he has the ability to do that to a ten year old child then he has no right to be around any child unsupervised..... earmarked in that fashion will mean that each time he applies to work somewhere that requires a working with children check to be done, he will come up with a bright red flag, regardless of whether any abuse charges are ever actually proven......

Definitely take every step humanly possible to get out of there right now.... if it means spending a night in your car to prove you are homeless and qualify for emergency housing then by all means do it.....

No child should ever be put in that position.....

munchkins

22-12-2008, 20:39

What a day. I can't chat for long as were at a motel at the moment. We ended up going to a place called Wayss I think in a nearby suburb, told them of the situation and they gave us a pass for a 7 night stay at a local motel. Tomorrow we need to go back in there to chat about getting on the emergancy waiting list for ministery* of housing and hopefully the wait won't be more than the 7 days. Not sure when I can update next but I will try to as much as possible as the net is not cheap at the motel..

Thankyou so much to all you ladies for your advice and support

MummyDaddy

22-12-2008, 20:48

Brave ... you are very brave ... good on you and well done for protecting your children - you are to be admired ...

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

bronny-jane

23-12-2008, 08:29

wow, glad you have gotten out of there..
hope your son is ok...

and im sure you'll be fine, and get an even better place to stay:yes:

oh and for the guy who did it, press charges..

Myztik

23-12-2008, 16:01

Glad to hear things are working out for you guys :hugs:

munchkins

23-12-2008, 21:41

Thanks again for all of your help girls and directing me into the right place. The motel that we stayed at last night was very small and barely fit the beds and cot in, so for tonight and possibly tomorrow night we are staying at a friends house, then we may need to go back there. They said that had link to local real estate agents and if I wanted to they could contact them on our behalf, so of course we agreed. This was yesterday. This morning closer to lunch we got a call from one of them saying that they had a place that we could look at. So we went fown to have a look. It's about $200 a month more than what we were hoping to pay, but we applied for it. I am really hoping that they approve us. Because they are connected with the support cener they know our full situation and how desperatly we need a place to live. The woman from the real estate agent told us today that assuming all our ref's check out and we can afford a place she will try to get us a place by the end of the week which is fantastic.

Well I am so tired after having a sleepless night last night, so I will keep you update on the situation

reAllytee

23-12-2008, 22:04

You are amazing :hugs:

I hope karma comes round to you guys very shortly with something lovely :flowerz:

Mischief

23-12-2008, 22:18

I'd be laying charges and out of there like a shot

No-one, and I mean NO-ONE ever has the right to manhandle a child like that

What if it happens again and you're not there?

Has it happened before?

How far would it have gone if DF didn't arrive on the scene

I'd live in a cardboard box or a tent if I had too - NOBODY does that to my child or any child!:banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::ban ghead::banghead:
:iagree:

Press charges, and get the hell out of there! No way do you want to live with someone who treats a child like that!

For goodness sakes, what a moron!

Your poor DSS must be scared out of his wits!

Mischief

23-12-2008, 22:20

Sorry, I didnt read your last post before I posted a reply!

You are very brave, and Im so proud of you! :hugs:

You are doing the right thing!

c2p08

23-12-2008, 22:36

woah! no way in hell would i allow anyone to do that to my DD!

you need to get out of there and get DSS out too. i'd be pressing charges as well, or at the very least making a police report about it!

c38

23-12-2008, 23:09

:hugs::hugs::hugs:To you and your family
I agree you need to phone the police and Child Protection about this man (the Police will probably do it for you if you go to them first).

I hope your son is feeling save and secure now he's away from this unpredictable and cruel man.

I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas wth your friends and hope that great accomodation comes your way very soon
:xmas::xmastree::goodvibes:

bubbleyblossom

23-12-2008, 23:18

I am so sorry this has happened to you but am glad that you and your family are safe now

munchkins

06-01-2009, 17:04

Hey everyone,

just popping back in to do a huge update on our situation. Well we went to the police but because DSS was not "hurt" in other words didn't have any bruises on him, the only thing that the police could do was make a report but they could not charge him. We managed to find a very temp place out in the middle of no where in Gembrook to stay the only issue is that it's a holiday house and it's booked from Thursday so we will be homeless again from this Thursday. Our friends that we were staying with went on holidays and won't let us stay at there house as there will be no one else there

happytobehere

18-01-2009, 16:25

congratulations on moving even though in the short term there are so many different challenges for u as a furniture to work thru. Having no where permanent to live can be sooo draining. I applaud u for putting ur sons need t feel safe first.

these little people rely on us for so much and it is so important that we take that job seriously.

I hae recently left an abusive relationship which has meant very similar struggles were left for me to work thru. The rent i pay is so high i was not approved for a bond loan but i know the universe will provide and will guide me toward waysof ensuring my life for me and my son is abundant and we will be kept safe.

again congrats on ur move and :hugs: i hope u have found a new home and all is well.

by choosing to move quickly out of that environment u have set an example for ur son in which he is both loved and important. well done.