Can anyone lead me in the right direction?

[StrawberryTheMilkshake]

hi there

we are looking into my DP adopting my DD from my first marriage.

I do not have any contact with her father, and he has not shown any interest in her since Aug 2006. No visits, gifts, anything.

So, i just wanted to know if anyone can talk me through the process, or give me some information about where i can find out about that?

What Department is it?

Do we have to be married first? Im already divorced im not sure if i want to get married again.....

Can you help???

I just want to be free of my ex husband..... he doesnt care about my daughter and my DP has raised her as his own daughter since the first day he met her..

Thanks

[NibbleCurlynBub]

For legal reasons I've looked into similar things..

For him to adopt her, her father would need to give up parental rights. not sure if that would be an ok thing to organise or not..

Otherwise, you can make him a legal guardian (which is VERY similar) at any time. :yes:

You MAY still need her biological father to sign the OK.. Perhaps get into contact with a lawyer, it has been years since I have looked into it and I still don't know the certainties.

[StrawberryTheMilkshake]

Thanks Nibbly

Ive been in touch with my lawyer, but he said its not his specialty so he didnt want to tell me the wrong things- but he said we can apply for the adoption, and then the ex has to give his consent to the adoption (which i dont think he would). If he didnt give consent, we go to court to go over his head and try and have it approved. My lawyer is excellent and very supportive, however just said he wasnt certain of the specifics of adoption (whether we need to be married or not before).

Thanks.

STM

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Opt for a laywer that specialises in family law.

They will know more and you won't offend your lawyer by doing that, he has admitted he doesn't know enough specifics to help you properly. Good on him for being so honest. :)

[3blue&1pink]

If your in QLD, I was told there is a 3 year waiting list. In the next year they are bringing in a new law where the father or the fathers family MUST be contacted.

I only recently found this out (3-4weeks ago)

[nick's mum]

I would love to know if there is a way. I have a son from my previous marriage who's 'biological' father (BF) has no contact with and who has never acknowledged him with cards/gifts etc.

DP and I have been together 2 years and have just had another baby together. My son thinks of him as his dad (even though I've told him that he had another daddy when he was born - he is to young still to comprehend fully and just wants to know that his real daddy (DP) won't go away like the first one). DP adores him and thinks of and treats DS as his own.

Anyway, when I looked into it - I believe DP and I have to be legally married for at least 2 years and even then need BF's permission. The new family law system that came in last July will view that it is in the best interests of the child to have a relationship with both biological parents, even if that is a bad relationship - and the uninvolved parent retains all rights just in case they ever grow up and want to take an interest (let alone responsibility) because of the possibility that one day his BF 'might' take an interest. However, they will never be forced to be involved. Too many mights if you ask me and isn't the best indicator of future behaviour, is past behaviour.

I decided it's all too stressful and best leave well alone. However, if you find a loophole I'd love to know, because I can't travel overseas with my DS or change his surname so that he so he has some link to me (or his brother and stepdad). I know the laws are in place to stop one parent who has a genuine interest in their child being shut out - but the law fails to recognise that some parents (usually fathers -sorry) CHOOSE not to be involved and in that instance - they should forfeit their rights as a parent. My opinion only I know - but it is just wrong and I would have thought the best interest of the child would be having a loving, stable family environment.

[StrawberryTheMilkshake]

No nicks- youre exactly right. Basically we have to be married for 2 years minimum before we can even start the adoption process. Then, we have to have biological fathers consent for the adoption- so basically we have to decide like you whether to go ahead and do this or just leave well enough alone.....

GRRRRRR stinks.

[nick's mum]

Yeah stinks :no: I'm not sure of the age of your child but if they are over 10 then I believe their wishes would be highly weighted in a court decision. You just have to decide if going through the process is worth what you get out of it. In getting voluntary consent from the biological father you could point out that he wouldn't have to pay child support anymore. Best wishes with whatever you decide.

[flick82]

Its 12 when their wishes are taken into consideration.