Anyone sad at going on the bottle?

[learo dochais]

Hi guys,

I put my gorgeous boy on the bottle at 11 weeks for a number of reasons, pressure from family members, being rediculously tired (as in I obviously mustnt have had the strength to stand up to said family members) and he was sick all the time because he wasn't sleeping enough during the day. In hindsight I feel he was on the way out of the sleep deprivation and would have been fine. I'm still so very sad we've stopped - I've even tried relactation but its very hard going and he no longer is interested in my boobs so it will be purely to express breastmilk for him. He's intolerant to any formula with omega-3 or nucleotides, biotin etc in it so I am worried he is missing out on these beauties. Wish I had never listened to my very well meaning family.

[SophOlivia]

Oh Honey - I too was really sad when I had to put both my DD's on formula much earlier than I had wished. It's natural to feel like you are but it goes away and you suddenly realise that maybe things are improving. For me, once I got past my teary sadness and feelings of failure I started to bond much more closely with my girls and our routine kicked in beautifully.

Good luck and don't keep stressing about it - it's time to move forward and be proud of yourself for the effort you made to BF. :yes:

Good luck.

[Freya]

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[reAllytee]

Congratulate yourself on getting to 11wks hun thats awesome & an achievement in itself :yes::yelclap:

You did the best you could & you gave it your best.

Grieve as much as you need but also allow yourself to know you tried your damned best

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Planigayle]

You poor thing. I started bottle feeding at the same age and def went thru a grieving process - a combination of sadness that I wasn't able to keep my gorgeous girl happy and guilt that i wasn't doing the "right" thing for her.

The good thing is that bubs thrive on bottles. If breastfeeding is difficult for you I can PROMISE that you will both be much happier on the bottle. A happier bub is a healther bub (and same goes for Mum!).

My DD is also quite intolerant but she does fine with a tiny dose of fish oil (for omega 3) and inner health (probiotics) added once a day. Ask your pharmacist or GP for advice.

[jag5000]

I was devastated! my little guy at 5 and a bit months just point blank refused to take the breast anymore.

we tried everything under the sun to get him back and in the end after struggling through to 6 months my lactation consultant said "he's finished BFing" :(

I had dreams of being a toddler feeding mama.. but DS had other plans!

I still hate it every time he has a bottle... BUT... he is thriving, growing and developing wonderfully! so I suppose it's not all bad! from my experience I now believe that babies know what they need a lot of the time.

[mummy7]

:hugs: U did a fabulous job to last 11 wks. I stopped bf when ds was 2 wks old and I grieved for months and even now I often feel guily about not trying harder.. but then I look at my lil man and he is happy and so healthy... and thats all that matters....We can only do our best. :hugs:

[MagsMum07]

*nods head* Yep, i definately felt absolutely terrible about giving up and also tried relactation.. I still regret, and feel upset at the fact that im not bf'ing.. i had my heart set on it. Now he's getting older i dont think bout it as much as i did but wen i see others bf'ing i do think back and wish i'd perservered. It will get easier, slowly but surely :hugs:

[MummyDaddy]

Yes, I felt sad too ... but sometimes it just doesn't work (breastfeeding) and going on the bottle isn't so bad.

Trust me - when baby is about 5months old and holds their own bottle for the first time you will think they are the cutest thing ever.

Try to look on the positive side of things and have a big glass of vino...

I'm over it now ... and you'll get over it to.

You did your best! Congratulations and well done for providing 3 months of mothers milk - that's a great job in my books!

[Little Gorilla]

I envy you! I would have loved to have bf my DS or DD for 11 weeks....that is a great accomplishment - don't let anyone take that away from you. BF is hard.

I feel sad, dissapointed, angry (at myself), embarrassed, jealous (of bf mums)...especially ones feeding babies the same age as my DD is now.....but I look at my beautiful children and know that they love me no matter how I decided to feed them....they are healthy gorgeous, alert, happy kids.

:hugs: it does get easier.

[JenL]

You poor thing. I started bottle feeding at the same age and def went thru a grieving process - a combination of sadness that I wasn't able to keep my gorgeous girl happy and guilt that i wasn't doing the "right" thing for her.

The good thing is that bubs thrive on bottles. If breastfeeding is difficult for you I can PROMISE that you will both be much happier on the bottle. A happier bub is a healther bub (and same goes for Mum!).

My DD is also quite intolerant but she does fine with a tiny dose of fish oil (for omega 3) and inner health (probiotics) added once a day. Ask your pharmacist or GP for advice.

Everything you have said here is exactly what I need to hear. I am in the process of deciding whether I should stop BF'ing. It's taking a huge toll on me mentally, physically and emotionally. My supply is really low.

I am so so so sad about the thought of stopping and it's like losing a piece of your heart.

[Little_P]

Good luck hun. It certainly is a grieving process. I am putting DS on the bottle today. I too have really low supply and have even tried medication for a month to try and get things going again. But now weaning of the meds - I am back to where we were. Its not much of a consolation when ppl say 'look how far you got' when you dreamt of going till bubs weaned themselves, I feel like a part of me is dying (sounds so extreme I know but am so emotional about it!) I tried fenugreek, belssed thistle, lactation cookies, feeding more frequently, pumping after every feed - all to no avail.

It is very stressful having a low supply. Always wondering if they are getting enough and you interpret every grizzle as related to the breastfeeding. 'They must be hungry' 'He must be crying cause I don't have enough' etc etc.

As devastated as I am, the one consolation is that the worry about my supply will be gone as it is all-consuming. I just want to relax and move on with enjoying my baby without the cloud hanging over me.

You are not alone. I hope it goes well for you. At least your bub is young enough to maybe take a bottle. My DS (6mths) hates it and is crying and pulling at my breasts trying to feed. I am on my own during the day so it's hard. I hope it is easier for you and you have help to feed if you need it :hugs:

[Little_P]

BTW have you seen your doc about medication - it may work better for you?? I took Motillium. Maybe keep you going a little longer while you try to wean or may fix it up all together. Just a thought if you wanted to try it. :)

[JenL]

Good luck hun. It certainly is a grieving process. I am putting DS on the bottle today. I too have really low supply and have even tried medication for a month to try and get things going again. But now weaning of the meds - I am back to where we were. Its not much of a consolation when ppl say 'look how far you got' when you dreamt of going till bubs weaned themselves, I feel like a part of me is dying (sounds so extreme I know but am so emotional about it!) I tried fenugreek, belssed thistle, lactation cookies, feeding more frequently, pumping after every feed - all to no avail.

It is very stressful having a low supply. Always wondering if they are getting enough and you interpret every grizzle as related to the breastfeeding. 'They must be hungry' 'He must be crying cause I don't have enough' etc etc.

As devastated as I am, the one consolation is that the worry about my supply will be gone as it is all-consuming. I just want to relax and move on with enjoying my baby without the cloud hanging over me.

You are not alone. I hope it goes well for you. At least your bub is young enough to maybe take a bottle. My DS (6mths) hates it and is crying and pulling at my breasts trying to feed. I am on my own during the day so it's hard. I hope it is easier for you and you have help to feed if you need it

I have tried medication, herbs and lactation cookies and nothing has worked. He is now refusing the breast.

I think it's now time to move to formula :gloomy: I have tried everything and as you said I want to relax and get rid of this stress of feeding and just enjoy my baby. I just feel like my whole life revolves around feeding and constant worry that he is not getting enough.

[beebs]

Its extremely hard when B/fing doesn't go the way that it should. You see some people and they just take to it like a duck to water (ggggrrrrr). I come from a family that is au natural for want of a better term. My mum breastfed me and my brother even though the midwives at the time we insinuating that she was being a bad mother!

When I had my DS I just assumed it would come naturally. It didn't, it was excruciating. I was sent to see a lactation consultant and then a rheumatologist, who diagnosed me with vasospasm. Even though I knew it wasn't my fault I still felt really sad about putting my DS onto the bottle. I have to say though -it was amazing the change in him, for the first time in his short life he was content and not hungry. He was a different baby from that moment on. It took me awhile but now I'm proud that I made it to 3 months and I proud that he was happy with the bottle too.

I didn't like some of the looks I got from other mothers, but booey to them. Who cares!

[meltux]

i know what you mean about looks from others....i am bf and then top up ff and when i was in the mothers room lately EVERYONE was bfing and when i had to use the bottle some of the looks i got were pretty sour. i have decided not to use the mothers rooms for very long if can be avoided. BUT my baby is doing so well and i am now stopping bfing as i too have tried several things and ff is making all of us happy...unlike bfing on a low supply with recurring thrush on nipples and baby's mouth...now this is all gone too!
it is a sad thing as there is something special about the feelings you get bfing but i hold baby close and cuddle heaps during ffing time so i feel better and she is so happy:D.
i do think it is a bit of a grieving process tho but all that matters is baby is happy and doing well! we are strong and can get through anything!:goodvibes: good luck