help me discipline my toddler

[mybabyandew]

How can i discipline my alomst 16 month old.He throw things at me like remotes,toys etc,he also throws it a my mum and dad,and hes been hitting my head and worst of all been hitting my stomach very hardly(im almost 4 months pregnant to).I tell him no and sometimes a smack on the hand but he wont listen he gets very cranky and will smack my hand back and smack my face.It wasnt bothering my to much but now im just getting tired of it.:(

[SuperGranny]

hi, you have to make sure you stop the bad behaviour, It doesnt matter if it was not bothering you, the behaviour is wrong. When he throws something, I would grab his hand and make sure he knows that that is the wrong thing to do. Make it clear that throwing things is wrong, he is not to do that, and you have to stop him every time. You can take him outside and throw a ball, and encourage that exercise, and engourage the skill, but he must learn there is a difference between just throwing a ball outside, and throwing something that might hurt someone, or break something, is not allowed.

[Hollywood]

What works very well for our 22 month old, and has done since he was around 16 - 18 months, is time out and ingnoring bad behavior.

For example, if he hits you, just pick him up and take him to your designated 'time out' spot (ours is simply at the end of our bed as we live in a 2 bedroom apartment with limited places to plonk him).

Leave him in the time out spot and don't even make eye contact. If he's anything like our DS, he might just follow you back out the door screaming, and if he does keep on ignoring him. Even turn your back to him, and only give him attention once he's calmed down. That may take a few minutes, but don't try to negotiate or reason with him during the tantrum, just stand your ground and only reward him with attention once he has calmed down.

Once he has calmed down, then you can explain to him what he did wrong and tell him that you love him, and THEN you do something nice with him like read a book, or whatever he likes to do.

I would try to avoid using a smack on the hand to discipline him, it will only teach him how to hit IYKWIM, it might be just that he's wanting attention, so by using time out you are teaching him that only good behaviour gets him attention, whereas hitting/throwing causes him to get NO attention.

Kids are very smart, they get the message quickly if you're persistent and consistent.

Good luck! :)

[halloweenmum]

For example, if he hits you, just pick him up and take him to your designated 'time out' spot (ours is simply at the end of our bed as we live in a 2 bedroom apartment with limited places to plonk him).

Leave him in the time out spot and don't even make eye contact. If he's anything like our DS, he might just follow you back out the door screaming, and if he does keep on ignoring him. Even turn your back to him, and only give him attention once he's calmed down. That may take a few minutes, but don't try to negotiate or reason with him during the tantrum, just stand your ground and only reward him with attention once he has calmed down.

Once he has calmed down, then you can explain to him what he did wrong and tell him that you love him, and THEN you do something nice with him like read a book, or whatever he likes to do.
Good luck! :)

:iagree:
HI,
My best friend has a 16 month old and this is exactly what she does too. It works 100% of the time.

[jaq]

I would try to avoid using a smack on the hand to discipline him, it will only teach him how to hit IYKWIM, it might be just that he's wanting attention, so by using time out you are teaching him that only good behaviour gets him attention, whereas hitting/throwing causes him to get NO attention.

Kids are very smart, they get the message quickly if you're persistent and consistent.



Very similar to the approach I use, though the effectiveness of time out at 16 months might be a little hit and miss.

I have just started putting DD2 into time out in the past month - she is 19 months old - and only for very short durations. Ie 2 minutes maximum. At the moment she thinks she is a very big girl getting to go to Timeout like big sis, and it makes her feel special, so its not very effective :rolleyes:

That said, introducing the concept early will have benefits a few months down the track when you REALLY need it. Introduce it selectively ie not every 5 minutes: limit the use to one or two behaviours so that they can make the link clearly in their minds, rather than be confused because they are in timeout all the time.

For the everyday (all the time) stuff like kicking, hitting etc (my dd2 did this a lot until recently, too), the best thing is try not to react to it. They are trying to elicit a reaction from you, and the best thing is to make them think, "hmm, that didn't work. Maybe I'll try that 'gently' thing next time."

Be impassive or slightly disapproving (but NOT big reaction) to stuff you want to discourage; and very loudly affectionate and obviously pleased (ie BIG reaction) for behaviours you want to encourage (ie, gentle stroking rather than pummeling you in the belly or face.)

React the same way to all naughty behaviours, all the time. It'll take a while, but it will happen.

[mybabyandew]

Hey everyone thanks for the advice im going to try the time out and not to get him a reaction when he does something bad and ill see how it goes and ill be sure to let you all know if its working.

[mum2bubba]

I don't have any advice but you're not alone. My 19 month old hits and pinches and it gets really annoying, I tell her "no" in a firm voice and put her on the floor or in the portacot (for time-out) with no toys for 1 minute, but it doesn't always work.

I've had people tell me to do it back (pinch, bite etc) to teach her a lesson, but I don't agree with that.

I occasionally smack on the hand but I am trying hard to not do that anymore cos how can I say to her "don't hit" when I am doing that? She will get mixed signals. Also when she throws things I take things off her and if its a nice day I take her outside and she throws a ball around. We put our xmas tree up yesterday and she is always taking the decorations off and throwing them but I think cos they're mostly balls (xmas balls) she doesnt understand that they're not for throwing.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

When my kids hit, I hold their hands.
Firm and still and remind them that it hurts and isn't nice.