Can You Duck Down to the Shops and Buy Me a Bottle Of Milk?

[Seekrit]

There's a good love. :p

I have been thinking of this question since I watched a Dr Phil episode about Free Range v Helicopter parents. And seeing some posts 'around the traps' regarding how 'unsafe' it is to send your children for a walk down the road to the shops by themselves.

So what age can you foresee yourself saying the phrase - or close to - in my title? Will you ever let your child walk to the shops by themselves, or walk anywhere by themselves? Do they/can they walk to school? Would you let them loose in the shopping centre without you by their side?

I'm a bit blasé in my world and I'm hanging out for the day I can send Cobes down to the shop at the corner (about 5 - 10 minute walk) for some milk. In fact I'm out of bread - why isn't he 8 now??!??! hehe.
My Aunty used to send me to the shops to buy her milk, bread and paper most mornings when I stayed with her, and I used to ride my bike to the shops for mum and dad at home (took too long to walk there).

So what about you? Is your upbringing the determining factor? Will you let your kids walk to the shops or is it too dangerous for your kids?

[Lastcenturymum]

Hee hee! I only let mine go together and when a lot older, but I often would get sent, though it wasn't as far, maybe 10 houses and around the corner. I remember really getting into trouble once cos I put the change on a seat to tie up my shoe and left it there - luckily it was there when I went dashing back!

[workin'mumof2]

i see myself as an overprotective parent on this subject as i cant vision myself ever letting either of my kids doing thing. at 8. (i think thats what your asking)

however i was never aloud to walk anywhere by myself till i left home at 15 :o. my dad even embarrassed me by waiting at the bus stop with me every morning. the only way i negotiated that was he would wait outside our house at the drive way.. you can see the bus stop from there. i wouldn't go that far i think. (i looked forward to when he was working mornings as my mum wouldnt do this.)

the news articles are enough to scare me though..

[Refresh]

We live in a little country town...the kind of town where you see alot of young kids walking to the shop/school etc. I am not sure what age I will be comfortable with it....Toby is 8 and I am defiantely not ready. I trust him totally to do the right thing but I still dont trust other people...I always think of the Daniel Morcombe case and he was older.

There is a group of older bully type kids that go around the town on bikes too which definately worries me:yes:

He would love the responsibility of going to the shop himself....I do quite often (well, when I have cash on me and don't need to use EFTPOS) send him in to the shop while I wait in the car with the other 3 which is very handy....means I dont have to unload the other 3 and he is proud to help out.

[Areca]

When they are in highschool. My neice is 7 1/2 and no way does she seem old enough to walk to the shops by herself....not in this day and age.

[Pax]

my older girls were riding to school from grade 5 (age 9-10) and going to the shop etc.

my son has been doing it since year 4. (age 8-9)

My 8 year old daughter is nagging to do things now. She rode her scooter to school 1 time at the end of this year, she has gone down the local park a couple times with my son, which is a block away.

If i let myself i would be a helicopter parent.. i have so much fear and anxiety, but i dont want my kids growing up to be anxiety ridden stay at homes that dont know how to fend for themselves ..

its important to build their confidence. kids pretty much dictate to you when they are ready to do these things I believe. Mine demand to be let do these things, or i have to listen to their whinging and disappointment.

but somewhere between 8-10 is the right time IMO.

[BlueGin]

Depends if there are roads to cross...
Don't have any articles for you but read somewhere that children's depth/spatial perception isn't adequately developed for judging the speed of approaching cars till at least 12 years old!
Surprised me.
I'd probably do as Katie does and let him get out of the car and duck in, or walk to a park near the shops with the younger child and let him go to the shop where I can see him.
So I guess 13 for me? Sounds incredibly old doesn't it...

[WorkingClassMum]

My 7yo DS has been walking the 700 meters to school all year at least twice per week - on his own.

I have faced a lot of flack and crititism for letting him walk to school on his own

We live on the same road as the school, and he has to cross one side street

I won't be letting him get milk n bread from our corner store for quite awhile as its the corner of two main roads.

In saying that, there where over 4000 reported cases of child abuse in their homes this year, and less than 20 reported attempted abductions

(This may well be because parents don't let kids out of their sights though)

I think many parents cotton-wool their kids too much.

[Bron]

I certainly did it in primary school. I used to walk to school all the time, with my sister at first, but when she went to high school, on my own - so from when I was 10.

I also remember walking to the shops to pick things up when I was 9. Not sure if I did it any younger than that, but I have distinct memories of walking to the shops when we lived in the UK, so yes, 9.

[pinkgingham]

it would depend on where i was living. if i am still living here where i am now then i wouldnt feel comfortable having my kids go anywhere on their on until they are at least in high school.

[~Temet Nosce~]

I would much rather walk with them and enjoy the fresh air and excersise with them. Not so much because of the safety issue, I would just prefer to go out and get the milk or bread myself with them tagging along.
As for wether I'd let dd go by herself depends on the area, how busy the traffic is, how safe the area is in regards to crime etc. at the moment, where I am now, I wouldn't because its too busy, we are right near a highway.

[LeeJ]

we live in a country town, i think il be letting our little one out maybe around 7, depends on his abilities then, we only live 5-10 mins from the main st, and if on a bike, the hardest thing is getting back up the hill:laughing: (only about 2 mins on a bike)

i used to go to the shops for grandma by myself, was riding my bike to school, i think about year 3, and i cant remember the rest! it was all pretty relaxed tho.

[JabberJaw]

I always want my 11 yr old to go to the shop but she wont! It just around the corner, take about 3 minutes to walk.

She has before walked home from school, to her dads, he lives on the same street and there is a main road with lights, so he meet her there. We wont let her walk to school as we have no way of knowing if she arrived safely or not. So home only.

I dont really like letting the kids go to the shop, i have a phobia of it, but it is because my neurotic parents passed it on to me! LOL.

My husband is a little more relaxed than me, and encourages our oldest to walk to the shop on occasions, and if she takes more than 10 minutes my paranoid mind starts working overtime.

I guess ultimately it depends on where you live, the roads and the child themselves. My 4 yr old would take off to the shop no worries if i didnt have the front door locked tight (he is the type of kid that would take off while i am asleep) where as my DD2 goes nowhere without holding an adults hand.

[Seekrit]

hehe as a school admin, Kel, I get a few phone calls some mornings "Hi, It's so-and-so's mum, can you just check if they got to school okay today?" hehe

[JabberJaw]

hehe as a school admin, Kel, I get a few phone calls some mornings "Hi, It's so-and-so's mum, can you just check if they got to school okay today?" hehe

LOL My daughter would die of embarrassment if we did that! I have a old dunga van to get the tribe round in (1985 Tarago) I AM NOT allowed to park near the gate of the school in it! I have to park up the block and round the corner a bit! If i have my other car, it is acceptable to park near the gate :laughing:

[delirium]

I actually feel a bit anxious when thinking about my kids walking by themselves. We live in the bush but bad things can still happen. :rolleyes: I sound so overprotective but I don't care.

No way they are walking before 10. Mum sent me to the corner store when I was about 8. It was a different time then though.

[~Bec~]

I have no idea how old James will be before he will be allowed to walk to the shops/school/anywhere on his own. My approach to this parenting lark is to just take each day as it comes...

However...

I was, wait for it...






THREE when I was allowed to go to the corner shop on my own. It was 1974 and the shop was at the end of the street. If the list was long (ie more than about 3 things) Mum would give me a list and some money which I would just hand over to the shop keeper who would get the stuff and the change. This was back in the days of fixed price milk, bread etc.

I think I was about 10 the first time I was allowed to walk back from the local main street to home (it was about a 20 minute walk). I was riding my bike or catching the bus to and from early primary school.

[veve]

I have no idea how old James will be before he will be allowed to walk to the shops/school/anywhere on his own. My approach to this parenting lark is to just take each day as it comes...

However...

I was, wait for it...






THREE when I was allowed to go to the corner shop on my own. It was 1974 and the shop was at the end of the street. If the list was long (ie more than about 3 things) Mum would give me a list and some money which I would just hand over to the shop keeper who would get the stuff and the change. This was back in the days of fixed price milk, bread etc.

I think I was about 10 the first time I was allowed to walk back from the local main street to home (it was about a 20 minute walk). I was riding my bike or catching the bus to and from early primary school.

wow bec .. how times change huh!!!! far out .. I cant imagine sending JAck to the shops for stuff .. eeeeeeeeeek



in response to the OP ,.. umm Nik .. it might come as a surprise to you .. but I tend to err on the side of the helicopter mother? :p Jack will no be going to the shops until at least high school I would think??? and even then I might go with him and just let him wander for a short time alone .. sigh ..

I think he will still be made to use the parents room toilet till then too ...

too many freaks in the world ... *shrug* I think I read somewhere it only takes 7 seconds to lose a child... and seriously .. it only takes one nutter to be around at the wrong time :( I would never sleep again ..

xx
Jen

[Seekrit]

I was thinking, I was 5 when I was walking to and from school (big sister, 8 years old walking with me)... and about 10 when I was 'let loose' in the local shopping centre with a watch, told to meet back in an hour.. I was 9 when I was walking alone to school (big sister in high school, and I'd cramp my big brother's style :laughing:)

Jen you reminded me of my mum telling me that if I need to use the toilet in that hour to follow a mother and her children in, and make sure I leave with them too :laughing:

[studyingECS]

I think I was allowed at like 14:confused:

My parents trust me but the closest corner shop is across the road from a dodgy train station with ratbag teenagers hanging around so when I was younger it wasn't am option for them.

Now it's likely that I know those ratbag teenagers:rolleyes:

But I don't walk to the corner shop anyway now because the other day I was walking along a main road in the middle of the day and a guy followed me in his car all the way to the shop and got out and "wanted to make friends with me, because he admired me and thought I was pretty". I had to run into the shop and tell the shop owner and get him to go outside and shoo him off. He still waited for me but I called my dad and he came and got me, stared the guy down and we drove off.

So I don't feel it's safe anymore

[Sheer Bliss]

I watched that Dr Phil episode too - it was very good. I am not a helicopter parent, but I am also not as liberal as the mum that was on the stage!

I think i'll have to take this one as it comes, it will depend on how DD matures. Where we live now, it's too far anyway, so i won't let her. I might let her walk home from school once she is a bit older...how old, i'm not sure! I do agree that wrapping them in cotton wool, and helicoptering over them is not always best for their development, but there are also other ways to let them establish their independance too.

[Seekrit]

I remembered today... :laughing: at the age of 13 mum let me ride my bike from home to my Aunties.

Which was about 2 hours :p From Carina to Runcorn! :eek: There was ONE scary road I remember crossing. eee. :p

[confusd]

living where i live now id say 8. the shop is about 5 min walk away or less if you take the short cut:p

there arnt many cars around most of the time but i wouldnt let her go on a sunday (everyone comes here for their sunday drive and picnics) and you only have to cross one little road.

DD is 14 months and we sometimes go for a walk to the shop together

[Lil Mamma]

When the time comes, I think I will know when they are ready. My brother & I were walking to the shops, school, parks etc. at around 7-8yrs old as long as we were always together. There were a number of frightening incidents which now make me anxious as a parent about letting the boys go out on their own.

On the way back from buying bread at the local shops, a drunken man followed us home and we had to bolt to get away from him.

On the way home from primary school once, a frightening looking man started to follow us and talk to us. Thankfully we were still fairly close to the school so we ran straight into the after school care room who contacted our parents.

In year 5 my brother and I rode our bikes to a friends house, and I misjudged a car coming around the corner which hit my bike, sent me sailing through the air and ended up with a broken collar bone and busted hand.

In year 4, walking home from school, a dog without a leash chased us home, barking at us which was very frightening.

In high school, we always walked home with another group of kids so that was good. One afternoon, one of the girls in the group decided to walk home later on her own and was raped in the bushes :(

I don't trust anyone, and I will probably be an overprotective mother when it comes to safety because unfortunately, the world is full of unsavoury people.

[SassyMummy]

I will be doing that, or something similar.

Not really sure when... I guess I'll have to consider a number of things, like the maturity and intuition of my child, where we live (even things like whether we were on a main road, would be considered), etc etc.

I won't be allowing my children to wander the streets, but a little trip here and there can be wonderful and helpful. One day she'll have to do it on her own anyway, and I figure that by not allowing her to, I'd be saying, "no it's dangerous," and perhaps making it out to be something big and scary.

She has more chance of coming home safely than not.

Until that's reversed, then she will be able to do a milk run.

[naiwen]

I grew up in a tiny village and walked home from school from about 7, but my parents knew the people in each house I had to walk past and it was a safe place.

I think I went to the shop (there was only one LOL) from 8.

With DS I am a helicopter parent and I freely admit that, if it wasnt for my viligance he would be in PICU now, or worse.

WCM is right though, statistically children are far more likely to be abused/assualted in the home than anywhere esle.

I think about 13 or 14 depending on his abilities for a run to the shops for milk.

But I might change my mind as he gets older.

[sunnyflower]

I am not a helicopter parent by any means BUT

the whole letting them walk the streets on their own just freaks me out.

I keep thinking of Daniel Morcombe.I think he was 12 when he dissapeared.

Or that 14 year old boy in Perth who was taken off the street and abused for two weeks in a house .

Or that poor little girl who was murdered in the toilets at a shopping centre.

I bet those parents thought their kids were old enough and safe.

Turns out they were wrong.

Nope this is one area where i am going to be overly cautious.There are just too many wierdo's around.

[Roopee]

It would depend on the child. Some 8 yr olds are more 'grown up' than some 12 yr olds.

My 8 yr old has ducked into the shop for me while I stayed in the car with the other 3- it was great! I was parked right outside the door anyway...

I would let my 8 yr old walk to school but I have his 6 yr old brother to take anyway so we all walk together as the 6 yr old is no where near 'old' enough- that, and the fact that he would have to cross a major road thats busy day and night- not gunna happen.

I do let them walk to the end of the street a nd back though- while i'm standing in the driveway watching- or i'll drop them at the end of the street if we're on our way home from somewhere and I'll finish driving home while they walk the length of the street.

[Tam-I-Am]

Well....we live on a country property and it takes probably 30 - 45 mins to walk to the nearest shop. Our road is pretty quiet, which is a good AND bad thing, because there's not much traffic, but what there is doesn't expect pedestrians, so tends to be pretty fast (scary!), but given that it takes only 2 minutes to DRIVE to the nearest shop...I can't see me saying that ever, really. Not if we live here at any rate.

As for going into town by themselves? I have a 13-year-old nephew, and he's still a little young...if my kids have a similar level of maturity - then around 14+ I think.

We'll see though. I don't think its something I care to put a definitive age on - there are too many variables to consider.

I guess the other thing to factor in is that all of our kids are likely to have mobile phones, if only for safety reasons....so like Kate did with ringing her dad (:hugs Kate - sounds scary! :hugs)....I think that will be an added reassurance for me, although doesn't mean that I won't be taking other precautions of course.

[misskittyfantastico]

With my brother or my friend, I was probably 6? But it was the burbs - we played cricket on the road, new all of our neighbours and the shop was literally 2 minutes away. I think it's similar to when we take the kids to Saturday sport (in the country) and when I'll allow DD to go to the kiosk, or go and play off on her own.

I think Dr Phil is a dill, so maybe that excludes me :D I have been told I'm over protective, but I don't care, it takes seconds...and they're gone.

[c2p08]

i was alowed to walk around with my lil sister up the st to friends houses from about 7 but, we had to tell my mum exactly where we were going and be home at a certain time...

my lil brothers and sister are alowe do to go to the shops on their bikes etc and they are 12/14/15 they are alowed to go alone, and the shops are accross the main highway and about a 15 min ride away..

its odd how the more kids someone has the more likely they are to let the younger ones have freedom.. well in my family anyways..

i dont know when i will let DD do things like that on her own, i will play it by ear and see when i feel she is old enough and society is like when she is old enough...

[~Candy~]

My eldest is 9 and I wont let him walk to the shop. The shop is about 15 minutes walk and a major part of the walk is along a very busy main rd. If I'm not dressed (still in pj's) 1st thing in the morning and we need milk ect..I'll drive to the shop and let him or dd go in to buy it.

My eldest dd (7) has a friend down the rd (our rd, not the main busy rd)...a 5 minute walk away..I'll let ds walk dd to her friends house to play and he goes and picks her up when it's time for her to come home.

[Jordymumma]

Ive found this all very interesting due to my eldest child wanting to test his independance! We live in a small town poplation 3000, one school, kinda, one main rd with some shops.DS1 turned 9 in oct and since then we've allowed him to ride his bike to school (5min ride one road to cross), and to his mates place, they all live on this side of town.He's not allowed down the main drag or down to the lake and he's only allowed to go to the BMX track if he's with his mates.His dad let him go to the shops once when i was at work but i think he's a bit young for that although DS couldnt have felt prouder.I cop a bit of flack from some mums that say he's too young but then i know others whose kids were allowed to roam the streets at 5(now i think thats too young even in our small town).DS1 and his mates are good kids. All that said, DD1 will probably not be allowed the same privalages at that age as, god love her, she's no where near as 'street smart' as her bro IYKWIM!?:laughing: