any changes you can suggest to our routine that might make nights a little better?

[em1984]

Hi from a severly sleep deprived mummy :) My little boy was 4 weeks on friday and im just after any tips or advice people might be able to suggest in regards to our 'routine' at the moment. I've been demand feeding since day dot, but have only just kind of realised that some of these feeds are just comfort sucking (mainly at night).

We are having NOT a lot of fun at night time (which i know is very common) but i thought i might see what others thought of how our days/nights pan out.

We are going through an unsettled period at the moment in which bubs is sleeping at night in like hour bursts, which means im getting a total of about 3-4 hours very broken sleep a night. I believe it may be a growth spurt as we are embarking on 5 weeks, so im sure its just temporary. But i wanted advice in regards to the non-unsettled periods. Here is generally how 24 hours goes:

7.00/7.30 am - feed

10.00/10.30 am - feed

anywhere between 1.00pm and 2.30pm - feed

4.30/5.00 pm - feed

7.30ish - short feed

8.00/8.30 pm - bath followed by nappy free time and a bit of a massage :) followed by rest of feed which can last until 9.30

I then try and put him down but will generally stir and i will pick him up again and he does some comfort sucking. This can go on till 11.30pm

1.30/2.30 am - feed

4.30 am - feed

Now this is a good night. On a night like last night it feels like he is awake all night. He might quieten and 'cat nap' for up to an hour before waking again and wanting to comfort suck.

Last night i succumbed and tried the dummy, which helped in that he didnt need to be on the breast but he still lies there awake and making a lot of noise and basically just unsettled. I read in other places that say a lot of babies are put down to sleep about 7.30pm and can have a big burst of sleep then, but this is our most unsettled time after this. Should i do the bath routine earlier?
I should also add, awake times vary a lot each day, like this morning he has been up since 7.30 am with a couple of 15 min cat naps. i cant believe he isnt exhausted!

To be honest im not totally sure what my question is :laughing: I think I really just need a bit of a vent and to hear others experiences, advice, anything you can give me. And i know he is only 4 weeks, so i dont expect much i just thought if people could see something different i could try in our daily 'normal' routine or even some advice on things i can try in unsettled periods i would really appreciate it.

Em :)

[rainbowmummy22]

You sound like you are doing a great job! Congrats on being such a dedicated mother. Your routine sounds very similar to what I was doing at the 4 week mark, I actually had no real routine until about 8 weeks. One thing that did help was what you suggested, moving the bath time back to 7-7.30, I didnt think it would help, but it did! She started to settle earlier and not stay so unsettled ALL night.

I also had a lot of help from my partner in the night, which got me through..when I was exausted. I had a couple of expressed feeds in the freezer for really bad nights, so he could help me with her feeds.

So see if someone might help with feeding at night maybe to give you one or two nights rest. Otherwise, wait 2-3 more weeks and he will start going longer, like 10.30-4 and then 10.30- 5 etc. By 3 months Mia was into 7.30-6.

Persevere, have him bathed at the SAME time every night, wrap him nice and tight and the longer nights will come.

Also, I forgot to mention, unsettled periods are normal, with Mia, she had trouble settling herself and we actually *gulp* rocked to sleep, even in the day. It worked beautifully and she was never spoiled by it as people said she would be. So dont be afraid to do what works for your son.

Good Luck
xxxxxx

[em1984]

thankyou so much for your reply :) My partner can help but really only on a saturday night. he has to get up at about 5.30 so for him to be up all night, it just wouldmt be fair. but he is brilliant when he can. im hoping to eventually be able to express one feed so he can do one before he goes to work, not sure if it will work though. he does only have 2 more weeks of work though before chrissy break so i cant wait for that!
Ill try the bath earlier i think starting tonight.

Its funny you say the rocking helped, i should also add, he does sleep a little better if he's in the bed with me :S...ive ended up doing this a couplr of times, but its not really a routine i want to get into, so im trying not to. But Im not against doing stuff like that, I think if they need it then they need it!

[La Que Sabe]

what about co-sleeping?
i co-sleep with DD and she sleeps perfectly, i've never woken in the night to get up to her because she's right there in the crook of my arm and right next to my boob so she can drink when she wants.
the only time i've had sleepless nights was when me and xdp broke up lol. oh and when she had gastro :(

[em1984]

i have done it a couple of times, and when i feed him in the night, i bring him to my bed and lie down and feed him and will often fall asleep and just pop him back after the next feed or if i wake up in between. Its just not something i want to do permanently, mostly because I still dont sleep properly and Im a bit nervous to do it especially when he gets more mobile. Im happy to do it if he is really unsettled and honestly its something i love doing, I just think for my long term sanity it wouldnt work.

[rainbowmummy22]

Good Idea! Don't worry about what people say, co-sleeping worked for us too :). She did eventually seem to grow out of it, which made me quite sad..even to this day I would love her to sleep in my bed. Just stay true to yourself, also if you can, get a hold of 'Helping your baby to sleep', it was my saviour when I though I was doing everything wrong and 'spoiling' my baby. Its got hundreds of stories about how diverse babies are from the minute they are born, and encourages you to listen to your instincts.
Here's to your Chrissy break!!!!!
xxx

[traseal]

my lilan is 2 weeks. I have been demand feeding but some times he just likes to suck. He hates dummies so he sucks my finger, if his hungy it wnt settle him if his just wanting a pacifier it woks great. In the day i wont put him in his cot to sleep. He sleeps on me, in the pram, on the lounge, all completely supervised. He seems to know night time is for seriouse sleeping (hopefully) He goes down at 10.30ish and wakes at 1.30 and 3.30 and then 5-30 and i normally get up then. Last night he went to bed at 9 and slept longer untill next feed. He settles very quick after a feed. I dont know if this is any help?? May i ask what dummy you use cause my lil man just spat it straight out, not interested at all

[em1984]

I just got a couple of the avent newborn ones....I really wanted to avoid the dummy (i work in childcare and have seen how hard it can be to get rid of them) but i am also of the opinion that if they really need that pacifying, then im being more mean by not letting him have it. The finger thing works for us to, its just not much fun or practical at 3 in the morning :) i do that during the day though if he's ever unsettled.
I also dont put him in the cot during the day, we are generally out and about anyway so its either car seat of pram usually, or he's bouncer if we are home. He sometimes settles brilliantly after a feed, other times terribly its so unpredictable!
It sounds like your probably getting as much sleep as i am! how long do your feeds go for at night. Coz by the time i've fed him, changed and settled him a good hour/hour and a half has gone by so by the time i actually get back to sleep im only getting about an hour or so before he is up for the next feed....It's killing me!!! :D

[em1984]

Oh i should also say, it did take a little persistance to get him to keep the dummy in. I have to hold it there for a bit. Sometimes he gags and spits it out and fusses over it, but if i keep trying he ends up taking it...

[Seacretsquirrel]

I used a dummy (for my sanity) from about 5 or so weeks and got rid of it at 5 months (just before she started teething which was hard but I'm glad I didn't cave as I've seen how hard it can be to get rid of them later) She only had it at sleep time and after the night feeds most times she went down without it. I agree move the bath time and do it all in low ish light if you can so bubs sees it as a wind down time. Also I found that all the night feeds had to be done in the dark (or almost dark - with our house layout the light over the stove let in just enough so I could see once she was in her own bed @ 12 weeks) otherwise a red lightbulb was handy too as it doesn't ruin your night vision nad they are dimmer than an white one. Also no tv or such for the night feeds either - I know lots of people do it cause they get bored but I found it was all over much faster (and I was back in bed asleep much faster) if it was dark and quiet. Good luck with it and it sounds to me like you have a good routine so try to stick with it and bubs will get used to settling better and feeding less and more efectively as he gets older so this lack of sleep won't last forever. Make sure you try to at least have a lie down and rest when he sleeps during the day (not necessarily every sleep but one or two a day might just tide you over till he sorts out his nights) - I heard of people getting signs to put on the front door saying rest time do not disturb so spur of the moment visitors think twice before ringing the bell.:goodvibes:
Oh and try a few different dummies to find the one he likes as all bubs are different and it took ages to find the perfect one for DD.

[bindiloo]

Hi there, my little boy fussed alot around that age too at that same time in the night.
I started taking a teaspoon of slippery elm powder a day in juice and this worked a treat,It really settled his gut. I think his night feed after id eaten dinner was unsettling him a fair bit and the slippery elm settled that.
At around 3mnths i was expressing milk and giving him about 60ml then letting him finish up feeding off my boob till he fell asleep and this is when he began sleeping all night. We still have the occasional rough night but i just lay him in bed in his roll along side of me and he just sucks till he falls asleep and i usually sleep through it.
I wouldnt stress he'll settle down eventually as for the dummy my boy wont have one either just gags and spits it out,he actually prefers his thumb and i dont mind it comforts him and he cant lose his thumb in the night:p

[traseal]

I just got a couple of the avent newborn ones....I really wanted to avoid the dummy (i work in childcare and have seen how hard it can be to get rid of them) but i am also of the opinion that if they really need that pacifying, then im being more mean by not letting him have it. The finger thing works for us to, its just not much fun or practical at 3 in the morning :) i do that during the day though if he's ever unsettled.
I also dont put him in the cot during the day, we are generally out and about anyway so its either car seat of pram usually, or he's bouncer if we are home. He sometimes settles brilliantly after a feed, other times terribly its so unpredictable!
It sounds like your probably getting as much sleep as i am! how long do your feeds go for at night. Coz by the time i've fed him, changed and settled him a good hour/hour and a half has gone by so by the time i actually get back to sleep im only getting about an hour or so before he is up for the next feed....It's killing me!!! :D

he hasnt been to bad. by the time i change him and feed its only half hr and his asleep again but not last night. he acts like his asllep but keeps one eye open ha ha. i moved the cot right next to the bed so he can suck my finger. i needed sleep bad last night and he wouldnt settle so i popped him in our bed and he was out like a light.

[CorneliaL]

Darn computer....continuing from before, only 2-3 hours of that sleep is during the day. Like many SAHMs, this time is completely absorbed by household duties. I find I can get another 1-2 hours sleep in the morning if my partner takes him when baby wakes up at 5-6 am. I don't know if this is possible for you, but it really keeps me sane, having some alone time.

I really hope co-sleeping helps, but for some it's just more of the same, but with less room in the bed! Granted, it is easier to feed in bed at night though, especially with a child that wants to comfort suck. That did decrease after 5 weeks for us, BUT he still feeds every 50 mins during the day, and every 2 hours at night min., and nothing has changed that. Even the ABA said this was unusual, but I can't stop it! Even a dummy hasn't decreased it.

But, I'll try and smile anyway. Hope you can too!