Why?????

[subaruforestermum]

OK, I can now officially say that I HATE DF's parents/family in general...seriously...

Not only did they give us back parts of presents we gave them, they constantly whinge that "Oh it would be nice to have money in reference to us!"..

Well I'll refer to his 2 different brothers as B1 & B2....to make it easier.

Well this morning they have really done it, and DF ended up in tears...

A week ago they said that basically because they werent married when DF was born that he is not the legitament First Born, so he gets nothing when they die....

They offered us a house to live in while we saved money, but had to pay rent AND allow DF's brother (B1) to live with us, which we declined, so DF's brother moved in ALONE and pays NO rent, nothing.....

DF sold his much loved sports car to his brother (B2) for half the price he could have got for it, as DF's brother was in love with it, and it has just sat there, DF's parents are now looking at buying a Porche, and selling their skyline, so DF's bro is buying that, AFTER the parents offered DF to buy it for $12K, his bro is buying it for $9k....and we get a phone call from the bro who bought the car offering to sell if to DF for more than DF charged him, and its deteriorated in quality as it's just sat there....

DF gets told to let his brother (B1) buy the car we bought not long ago (cheap as $500 and can sell it for a lot more) as his B1 is only 22 maybe 23, and has run up sh!t loads of debt, but still has everything new, new camera top of the range, top of the range head deck speakers etc for his car etc....But B1 just sold one of his cars, and got next to nothing for it, and put some of it on his debt, but is looking at buying a boat...

His parents were handed a house, an inheritance. Which allowed them to sell that and buy a house, build up equity and last year bought the house out near us...

We've worked hard for everything we have, we actually earn more than them, but they have built up savings.... They go out and waste money and then make comments to us about "It would be nice to have money!"..

So today with the whole car situation, it made DF realise how little he is included in the family now....

DF was restricted duing weekends even when he was finished school and working, he had to ask permission to o out, the other 2 boys now have free range and get everything...

And B2 made out as though we are scum and could never afford to buy the Porche for $25K, which OMG is $5K more than we paid for our car...big deal...

I'm just totally over them and their sh!t.... DF is really hurt by his family, the way he just isnt included or treated as part of the family. We barely see them, and when we go to them, their main interest is tv...

AND we went to see them last week, and his DAD got the sh!ts with DF for not driving into Brisbane earlier in the week, to fix THEIR weed-eater while he was away (DF's dad is working on Moreton), and so they went and bought an electric one.... He doesnt live with them anymore, he has his own family responsibilities, THEY have 2 other brothers that live with them.. (B1 lives between their 2 houses rent free, food supplied etc), why get sh!tty at DF for something that isnt his responsibility....

They never do anything to help us out....

OK major vent over....

[~Candy~]

A week ago they said that basically because they werent married when DF was born that he is not the legitament First Born, so he gets nothing when they die....

Just that sentence there alone...is purely discusting for a parent to say to their child...shame on them. They are the ones who should bad for doing the deed before they got married if that's the way they want to look at it.....gee, that's just rotten and nasty :shame:

[V8]

A week ago they said that basically because they werent married when DF was born that he is not the legitament First Born, so he gets nothing when they die....

My jaw literally dropped reading that, OMG how can parents be like that! I'm disgusted for you and your DF. That alone would want me to wash my hands of this 'family' to me friends are the family you chose and thank goodness i have a lot of good friends as the rest of our extended family are hopeless. Shaking my head here. :hugs:

[pinkgingham]

how can a parent treat a child differently to the other children. i dont get that part.

if i were in that situation, i would cut his family off.

[subaruforestermum]

We are so close to just saying, that's it, dont bother with us, we're not going to with you, but I guess it's hard...

I got quite upset with the whole thing too, because they have basically wiped their hands of him since he isnt relying on mummy and daddy like the other 2 are, since I came into the picture, and we have had a child, moved out etc, without their help!

The 2 younger boys, and there isnt a huge age gap so I dont get why they can be this way towards DF......

[Izy]

That is all so wrong for so many reasons. I understand the turmoil you must feel here too. I know I hated when I could see the pain my DH's dad was inflicting but DH just kept on enabling it because he's his father.

I am very thankful that DH has now realised that his Father may have given him life, but all that he has lived and achieved has been without him. He owes his father nothing.

Just a quick question too.... Don't mean to disrespect his mother or anything (or maybe I do ;)) but are you certain that his parents really are both his parents???

I recently had a friend discover her dad wasn't her dad and as painful as it was, it was also very liberating. It explained so many injustices she felt growing up.

[pennylane]

what a bunch of a-holes they are!

You dont need people like that im your life.Their pettiness sounds more like jealousy to me.

DF's parents are a bit that way,Theyre making more than us at the moment but only until next year and then DF will be out earning them on just his wage and they are HATING it.

They get all narky whenever we buy something nice for ourselves (which is very,very, rarely weve never even bought a new lounge or anything together before and weve been living together for 6 years!).

They hate that DF is actually doing something with his life and not running to them.And MIL cant stand that i am able to stay home with my babys because she CHOSE to go back to work for the money (she didnt need to) and DF and I would rather struggle a bit more so i can be with them.

Theyre always trying to compete with us money wise,we bought a new car for our family so they had to buy a more expensive one.even though they didnt need it and it sits in their garage and never gets driven.They couldnt possibly let us have something they dont have!

Its so ridiculous.

:hugs:'s for u

[~Bec~]

Just that sentence there alone...is purely discusting for a parent to say to their child...shame on them. They are the ones who should bad for doing the deed before they got married if that's the way they want to look at it.....gee, that's just rotten and nasty :shame:
:iagree:

My cousin was in a similar situation. Her in laws told her the reason why their second child was autistic was because they weren't married and it was God punishing them. Her partner got a dna check to see that it was really his son because he couldn't believe any child of his could be autistic.

It's her ex partner now.:D

I thought it was only royalty in historic times that didn't recognise heirs if they didn't have 'benefit of clergy'.:rolleyes:

[subaruforestermum]

He looks like his father, so yeah he is definately 'their' son....

They are just utterly pathetic....

Before we moved out here, we knew we wanted to buy out here, and had been looking for a while, Soooo where di his parents buy??? Out here....

Before we bought the Suby, we were looking at buying a 4 door Skyline, and what did they get buy???? A 2 door Skyline....

DF said he wouldnt mind getting an older Porche one day, and doing it up to race standard, that can still drive legally on road...so what did they just buy??? A Porche..

We have a bright yellow Silvia at the moment, we are doing up to sell, so what colour car did they get??? Bright Yellow.

We bought a laptop last year for work, it was better than theirs, so what did they do?? Go out and buy a BETTER one than ours...

We were looking at buying a Plasma, or something last year instead of the couch, so they went out and got 2, offered us 1 cheap, then took back the offer and now have one in the 'formal' lounge room where only the Xbox is played...

We got a new lounge suite, AFTER they got theirs cos we desperately needed it, and spent $4k on it, which is when we got the "It would be nice to have money!"... They've bought ANOTHER one since....

They got us an outdoor setting for housewarming/engagement, so they got one EXACTLY the same.....

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

What more can I say....... I HATE THEM..... oh hang on I already said that...

[nae1709]

Oh Suby you poor thing & your poor df, I feel for you I truly do. I have never had a proper relationship with my father so I kind of know how your df must be feeling.

I just can't believe that anyone could ever say that their child, who is their own flesh & blood, is iilegitimate. They should have just literally got out a knife & stuck it into his heart.

And I'm sorry but if my parents turned around & bought a 2 door skyline I'd tell them to get over their midlife crisis for god sake. How
ridiculous must they look driving around in a car like that.

[blackdog]

they soung like nuts:p

I know it's easier said than done, but try not to upset yourself over it.

In my experience, oldest children are often not given the same sort of assistance as younger children. I tell myself it is because we are more capable.:p

I can relate to being annoyed by the comments about money. My inlaws are both on good incomes but choose to spend up big on holidays, so have nothing to show for it. Then they make snide comments about people being 'rich' because they might have a decent car or an investment property :rolleyes:

[mumx3littlies]

I feel for you guys, I really do. Family can be such hard work and so draining that sometimes its just easier to distance yourselves from them. DHs parents are like this and he told them that if they didnt have anything positive to contribute to the (parent/child) relationship then not to bother calling us again (they live in NZ). We havent heard from them in nearly 2 years so I guess they dont have much good stuff to offer the relationship huh. Its really sad but DH and I both agree its been so much easier without them in our lives:(