I think Im adopting a sick baby

[supergeek]

DH cousin had twins a few of monthes ago.
The girl was healthy but her baby boy was dignosed with Cystic Fibrosis. After trying her hand at dealing with a sick baby she has said she can not cope. She asked both me and sis in-law if we could take him in for she still wants to still see him. This was last month, at 1st we thought she was just suffering with baby blues and the stress of a sick baby was not helping but she has now told us if none of us will take him she is calling social servious next week.

She wont even let any of us take him for a week to see if she can handle being away from him. DH has said if need be we can take him in, but Im not sure she knows what she's doing :( But oh well it looks like by this time next week it may be 5.

[Lastcenturymum]

Well for a start you would have to go through lengthy legal processes and she will have to have lots of interviews and evaluations. I doubt they will give the baby to you within a week without doing evaluations of you as well. I know someone who went through a slightly different but similar thing recently and it takes a long time. I'm sure there are many areas of help she could call on to help in the early months.

And if you live overseas part time, how is that going to work?

[jackie7]

This is actually referred to as Kinship care by the various child safety departments in Australia (DOCS/DHS). Kinship care is not the same as adoption.

With kinship care temporary placements can be made until the final placement is made.

I think she and her family need to be assessed first and foremost as CF can actually depending on the severity of it be a manageable condition. (I've worked with families with children with CF.)

To me it sounds more like phsylogical issues of DH's cousin. Which would be part of a lenghtly assessment process and the child may be returned to her once her and family have developed more specific skills, assistance and medically on a more even level. You need to ask yourself if the child is only with a short time can you handle that? This could be the same result if she placed him into voluntarily foster care.

The main aim of the departments would be to towards reunification of mother/family and child.

Just be very aware of what your entering into - go into it with your eyes wide open - research it and find out from your appropriate department and even then double check the information. Good luck

[~Candy~]

We have CF in our family..I have lost a cousin (he was 4) and both my nephew and neice have it bad...they are in hosp often and they need medication everytime they eat and physio daily.
I just find it a bit strange that one twin has it and the other doesn't :confused:

[delirium]

Yep, DoCS will look at kinship care. The dept will always look within the family before placing the child elsewhere.

Of course you will have to be thoroughly assessed by DoCS to ensure you are suitable. I just don't understand why the mother wouldn't want the child to be raised by family? Fair enough, she can't cope, and long term she may be doing the most selfless thing for that child. But why not have family take him?

I admire your committment to this child. :sunshine:

[Thermolicious]

my parents looked after our neice through the kinship program and she was returned to her mother after 6 weeks because she wanted her back.

:hugs: and good luck

[PunkyDiva]

If these bubs are only a few months old the mum is at a really vulnerable stage and should be given access to specialist physical and emotional support alongside that of family and friends, before hasty decisions are made by anyone. HS will and can work through these alternatives, support services etc.

It is hard in those first few months with one well bub, so I imagine twins with one seriously ill to be even tougher situation.

[Pax]

Wow how sad for your sister. I would do the same as you, i couldnt stand any of my family members to be placed in govt care.

good for you. :smiliedance:

[Nowhere]

Im sory to here our SIL is not coping with her little one with CF, CF is a nasty disease and its sad that any child has to deal with it, there parents to

Has she spoke to other parents of kids with CF or other such ilnesess if not that might help her to see that it is doable, Im sure its really hard with twins my heart goes out to her


If you decide to take him on, good on you I wont lie to you It wil be tough ( DD was suspected of CF she has got a condition that afects her in a simalar way ) and there will be days where you think I cant cope why do I bother etc but in saying that there wil be far more days where you see how much you love the litle man and admire how strong he is.


HUGS to your whole family what a deverstating position to be in

[BreithCuidiu]

We have CF in our family..I have lost a cousin (he was 4) and both my nephew and neice have it bad...they are in hosp often and they need medication everytime they eat and physio daily.
I just find it a bit strange that one twin has it and the other doesn't :confused:

The twins are obviously fraternal, which means they share nothing more than regular siblings.

I have a son with CF, and three other children who do not.

Luck of the draw... :no:

[peanutbutter&jelly]

:hugs: All the power in the world to you. CF is a nasty disease... I had a friend who had CF, she had a lung transplant at 16, made it to her formal 2 weeks later :D She was such a fighter and it really gave her a strong character!

[MelandBen]

:yelclap: to you and your DH- taking on another child is a feat let alone a sick one.
:thumbsup: It's lovely to hear that we still have some people around who care.
Good luck on your families journeys and I hope all turns out well.

[SPC]

I imagine that if the baby has been diagnosed with CF very young then the symptoms must be fairly severe. CF affects the mucous in the body, so it can effect the lungs, gut and pancreas mainly. Life expectancy these days is up into the 30s, but many kids still die in their teens. CF kids often have problems putting on weight, they are susceptible to chest infections and they can develop diabetes. But there is a lot of support available and treatments are improving quality of life all the time. If you're thinking of taking care of this baby you'll need to be prepared to devote a lot of time to doing chest physio, organising, traveliing to and waiting for clinic appointments, sorting out medications and perhaps staying in hospital with him if he gets sick. But if it were me I'd do it; foster care should be a last resort as it's really traumatic for little people.

[~Emmylou~]

The twins are obviously fraternal, which means they share nothing more than regular siblings.

I have a son with CF, and three other children who do not.

Luck of the draw... :no:

Yep children born of two parents who both carry the CF gene have a one in four chance of having CF. Twins of opposite sexes are obviously fraternal so each twin had a 1/4 chance of having it.

It sounds to me like this mum is need of support and help, I agree with what punkybaby posted. She sounds like she is overwhelmed and might make a decision she'll later regret because she feels like she has nowhere else to go.

Having twins is hard enough, but having a child with CF on top of that is a huge responsibility and takes a massive toll emotionally, financially and spiritually on a family. CF is rife in my family and I have lost cousins to it, and have a few others who are unwell. I carry the gene but my husband doesn't so fortunately our kids don't have it....but at the time we accidentally fell pregnant with our first child we didn't know our carrier status and it was nervewracking. It wasn't until we were planning our second child that we had genetic testing to find out if we were carriers. There is support out there, I hope she can find some help. Hugs to you and your family, it must be so hard :(

[~Emmylou~]

I imagine that if the baby has been diagnosed with CF very young then the symptoms must be fairly severe.

Not necessarily, in most states CF is screened for before babies are discharged from hospital. And babies that have CF usually have major problems passing their first bowel movement - this is often the first "red flag".