Advice on Starting a Family...

[Hare]

Hello all, am new to the forum, doing a lot of reading but would like some advice from others people's perspectives if you have the time.

The story:

I'm highly clucky. It's hard to explain, any more than an incredibly strong urge to start a family, and now! DP and I are getting along perfectly, we're secure with each other and very happy (lucky and loving it :kiss:). I'm 25, he's 26. Our current situation is sharing a large house with one of my friends who is never here, great rent-wise. We also both work and between us are earning around $60k a year right now. HOWEVER we're a fairly 'young' couple, around two years together, and haven't really started saving money and have no prospects to buy a house at the moment.

I suppose what I'm asking is this. Is it a bad idea to go ahead and start TTC although we don't have the security of our own home or back-up savings? I would need to be a SAHM and so our income would drop to half what it is now, with the addition of a wee baby mouth to feed! :laughing: For privacy's sake, we'd certainly can the whole 'share house' thing before the arrival of a bub, but other than that... am I crazy to think we are ready to go!? The amount of income we have now is really quite 'rich' I feel, maybe this is because I'm not too 'into' buying or owning new things, but I'm more than confident I can stretch a budget to it's limit and still manage to eat! :goodvibes:

I'd love other stories of young couples living on a single income and renting, and other SAHM mums with first bub.

Thank you all in advance :)

[SweetSerenity]

Hello all, am new to the forum, doing a lot of reading but would like some advice from others people's perspectives if you have the time.

The story:

I'm highly clucky. It's hard to explain, any more than an incredibly strong urge to start a family, and now! DP and I are getting along perfectly, we're secure with each other and very happy (lucky and loving it :kiss:). I'm 25, he's 26. Our current situation is sharing a large house with one of my friends who is never here, great rent-wise. We also both work and between us are earning around $60k a year right now. HOWEVER we're a fairly 'young' couple, around two years together, and haven't really started saving money and have no prospects to buy a house at the moment.

I suppose what I'm asking is this. Is it a bad idea to go ahead and start TTC although we don't have the security of our own home or back-up savings? I would need to be a SAHM and so our income would drop to half what it is now, with the addition of a wee baby mouth to feed! For privacy's sake, we'd certainly can the whole 'share house' thing before the arrival of a bub, but other than that... am I crazy to think we are ready to go!? The amount of income we have now is really quite 'rich' I feel, maybe this is because I'm not too 'into' buying or owning new things, but I'm more than confident I can stretch a budget to it's limit and still manage to eat! :goodvibes:

I'd love other stories of young couples living on a single income and renting, and other SAHM mums with first bub.

Thank you all in advance.

Hi Hare :wave:

Aww you sound just as clucky as me :p hehe.

It sounds like you have a realistic view on what life is after bubby is here, meaning you know the shared house won't be suitable, you will have less money etc.

It sounds to me like you are both emotionally ready to bring a child into this world.

My biggest advice would be (if you haven't done so already) to discuss with your partner each others views on parenting. Like what you both want for any future children, talk about what you both see as appropriate disciplining, just how things will "work" if you did have a bub come into the scene.

Touch on what your expectations are of him as a father and ask his point of view too.

Also, work out your finances. Write up ALL of your expenses like rent, electricity, food, car expenses ... EVERYTHING and see if you can cover all of those with earning half then what you do now. If it seems you can't, try and pay off as much debt (if you have any) now and get some savings behind you.

I unfortunately didn't last with my ex husband as we were just two different people with different expectations of things, too young at the time and becoming parents was an unplanned thing.

My partner now and I have already discussed when we will be planning on having another but the only thing putting it off is that we want to pay off our credit cards and save some money as I will have to cease work to stay at home for a few months.

So they're my two biggest bits of advice really.

Touch base on all the parenting issues that would come up once bubby was here and organise your expenses and save.

You sound like you're well and truly ready to be a mummy :goodvibes:

Wishing you all the best! :flowerz:

[lealea79]

hi there my dp and i are 29 and we still rent as well. we are 5 months pregnant and yeah i didnt really think of the money thing until a couple of months ago... i will say i am lucky though the only thing that i have to buy for the baby is a pram and a set of draws and a few other bits n pieces.. everything else has been given to me so i dont have that added stress of affording to buy all the baby stuff as well....
i just say when your ready to do the baby thing.. just do it, i have heard over n over again that people manage and that babies have to fit into your life.. when do people ever have enough money and how much is enough money to start trying for a baby?

[bootiful]

just an idea

but if you are on 2 incomes atm start living on just 1...put the other into a savings account. that will give you some savings and get you comfortable living on just the 1 wage.

also, realise that you can't budget for kids. yes to have a house and car etc is a good start, but as for the daily expenses no one can predict that. if your child gets sick and it costs you time off work, medication etc that can stuff up your budget big time.

when you are ready mentally and physically that is better than being ready financially in my opinion because having/raising a child is much more than just being able to afford one.

good luck for which ever decision you make. :flowerz:

[our little treasures]

Hi:wave:

I was 23 when my DH and I decided it was time to start a family.

We made the decision to rent while the children are young so that I can have the freedom to SAH with my children.

I am a firm believer children need a loving, warm and SAFE environment and if you can provide that then you are more then ready to have children.

I agree with angelbaby if you think you're doing well now then put some money aside.

One thing my hubby and I have done is set up a scholarship fun for each of our children from when they were born.

It's not the first years that are expensive it's the teenage years so having a safety net for us is important so I know I will have a choice of where I send the children for High school.:)

Good luck:goodvibes:

[Mummy2Noah]

I think it sounds like you are ready to be a mummy!! I wonted to be a young mum as did my Hubby be a young dad we had DS at 22me and 25 DH and wouldnt change a thing it was hard being a SAHM and living on one income but worth every second.

We are currently TTC bubby #2 and am more then happy to go back to one income and 2 babys hehe!!:P

I dont think you are ever 100% ready for a child and the more you put it off the worse it is.

GOODLUCK with whatever you choose

I also think you should start living off your partners wage and saving yours as a nest egg for when you do become pregnant!!:thumbsup:

[Hare]

Thank you for your posts, advice and support, very appreciated! :)

I have been thinking about this pretty much non-stop lately, and I honestly think that when it feels so right; it's meant to happen... You guys are so right when you say it's impossible to budget for.

The living on one pay idea is excellent, we are beginning to put away huge amounts of money right off the bat each payday, here's hoping we go fine with it. :fingerscrossed:

I'm so excited with the idea of being a SAHM. our little treasures:, I totally agree with what you're saying. I remember for myself daycare from a young age, and do NOT want that for my children. I think better poor and loved, than well-off and lonely!

Well here's hoping next place we chat is in the TTC threads... :laughing:

[delirium]

Ok, this is just my opinion, but for us, we are glad we DIDN'T get a mortgage before kids. Yeah, rent is dead money, but in order to pay a mortgage we would need both of us working. I always wanted to be a SAHM so returning to full time work before school was out of the question. I know people that have kids and a mortgage and are living on sausages and bread every night to afford it. The stress and responsibility of paying $400 a week is killing their relationship.

[crazyaboutbubs]

just an idea

but if you are on 2 incomes atm start living on just 1...put the other into a savings account. that will give you some savings and get you comfortable living on just the 1 wage.

also, realise that you can't budget for kids. yes to have a house and car etc is a good start, but as for the daily expenses no one can predict that. if your child gets sick and it costs you time off work, medication etc that can stuff up your budget big time.

when you are ready mentally and physically that is better than being ready financially in my opinion because having/raising a child is much more than just being able to afford one.

good luck for which ever decision you make. :flowerz:

:iagree:With this advice.. and also just wanted to welcome you! I'm in the same dillema as you.. i am really quite clucky.. but am starting to push TTC further and further back to allow for other things. Savings, Studying.. ect. Me and my partner are currently on around $90,000 a year between us.. and this still seems like nothing to me. :laughing: If you have no debt and no need for extravagent things and you are emotionally ready.. i say bring it on! :D

[xygirl351]

Hi there I think it sounds like your ready.
My partner and i had been together 2yo when we decided to TTC.
We now have an amazing 2yo daughter, we rent, my partner works full time and i am a stay at home mum.
We would not have it any other way.
I am now almost 22yo and my partner is 24.

[kazarina]

well we recently had a daughter i'm 23 and so is my partner, i do not work but my partner is full time.We rent and are quite happy:)it sounds like you are ready to welcome a child:)