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View Full Version : To those who have been through TTC with probs or +12mo



castlemum
20-05-2006, 23:45
Hi :)

Need a few anxieties dealt with, hence the post! I'll post my history so you know where I come from.

I have two children already, both of whom were conceived in 1 month of trying (as in, the first month possible). My first, unplanned, I'd never been on the pill or anything before. The second, I'd been on the pill for about 12 months when I stopped and conceived her. She's 5 now. I've been off the pill for 19 months, after most of the 3 1/2 years before that on it (going off periodically for a few months, then back on).

Both children were born via c-section. The first was emergency after 8 hours of induced labour due to foetal heartrate drop to 28bpm. On doing surgery they found he was engaged wrong and that my pelvis wasn't 'opening' - the bones are too thick to allow the movement required, so no babies head was going to fit.

As a result DD was an elective c-section based on the above findings as well as the possibility she was failure to thrive and may not cope well with stress of birth and any labour complications. She surprised everyone (perfectly normal, healthy baby, just small - still is).

Anyway after that operation I developed a bad infection. My doctor at the time said it appeared to be from the outside skin layer all the way down through to the uterus. It is believed that it was missed while I was in hospital (though I remember comments like 'that is a bit weepy' while there, nothing was done). I was put on antibiotics. I'd gone from walking upright and feeling somewhat healed to feeling like I'd had the operation all over again at the worst.

The pain cleared up as I took the antibiotics, so as far as I knew the infection did too! I had no further obvious complications or anything.

So I come to now. 19 months off the pill, cycle back to 'normal' (which in itself took over 12 months - sometimes I was as much as 3 weeks late). But I'm not falling pregnant. For me this is such a new concept - both of my children were conceived so easily!! I had looked into secondary infertility so I know it is possible but I wonder what the hell is going on! Is that strange to be feeling a bit let down?

We never expected we'd fall immediately with any pregnancy and accepted that twice didn't mean it would happen now but I guess I just wonder why I suddenly feel so infertile. I'm not at all concerned about being off the pill. We don't have a lot of 'attempts' but part of me says well we 'attempted' (if you get my drift) one time in each month that our kids were conceived! One is all it takes! Our attempts have occured when they 'should' occur.

Anyway DH is as clucky as hell, so am I and my best friend wants me to have a baby (lol) - none of them are putting pressure on me but I still feel frustrated - when my friend says she wants me to have a baby I think well so do I! But have no explanation for why I haven't fallen pregnant, and so I just say no way. My 5yo desparately wants me to have a baby - this is something she'd discussed since she was 1 or 2! Always asking me for another baby. She's even picked names (Chloe or James, apparently lol before that it was Barbie and DH Junior). She has spent the weekend asking how babies are made - and this is a no nonsense kid, she wants the real information (and accepts it without a problem) and then wants to know why we can't go do that to give her a baby brother or sister. How do I explain that I am trying??

Anyway sorry for the long post. What I wanted to know mainly was the process - what happened with going to a doctor? What happened from the time you decided to look into it? Anyone with secondary infertility issues, what happened for you? The process scares me as much as anything else does - what will they do, what will they find and so on. I'd really appreciate someone walking me through the steps they took when they had trouble.

Thanks if you read this far.

camira1976
21-05-2006, 09:18
Hi there
I have a four old son and are having trouble conceiving again. My first was conceived one month off the pill and this time I have been off the for 18mths. On a visit to my GP he told me that after 12mths of trying that they class the issue as fertilty problems. He ordereda heap of blood tests and refered me to a OBGY who also did a scan. Anyway they discovered I had Polycystic Ovarian syndrome. It fits now I guess, irregular periods, ance and facial hair. I'm not saying this is your problem but I do suggest you go and see your doctor. I have learn't that even bad news can be turned into something positive. Afterall the sooner you know what is happenning the closer you can be to getting something done about it. Another piece of advise is to try and remain posiitive. I try and focus my energy on my beautiful son. I never thought I could love and appreciate him any more than I do right now. Heres hoping soon I will have another little bundle to join him. All the best :fingerscrossed: :hugs:

tansy
21-05-2006, 12:58
Hi
I know how frustrating it is when you can't see why you shouldn't be preg but you are not.
This is my first time TTC and I feel the same, after 12 months of trying - nada!

My Obgyn has sent DH and I to fertility clinic - shocked me - but he said was to make sure there was nothing wrong/to identify any other reasons why things are not happening.

from what i can gather there are many things that can affect TTC and I would suggest that you get whatever tests you can to understand where you're at.
Just be aware that they may suggest solutions that you're not ready for - at out first appt we were told IVF would be our best option - not at all what we expected.
We are now in the process of researching and considering other options, alternative medicine etc as IVF is not what we want.

I have been pregnant before (in high school) and terminated. Since then diagnosed with endo and hubby now possibly has high rate of morphology, so our chances of TTC naturally will be lower and it will take longer than we thought, but i believe that it is not impossible. However we are awaiting further test results.

i think you need to be realistic also that with age/time things change and full testing would benefit - you'll then know where you'll stand.

Try not to worry though and stay positive, keep busy and most of all look after each other and your family. :)

Femme la Phoenix
21-05-2006, 14:49
Hi Castlemum:wave:

It's being refreshing to read your post as opposed to quiet a few on here. I am sorry to hear your frustration, all of which I can personally emapthise with. Let me walk you through what's happen with my "struggle to conceive" thus far.

My son was also conceive easily and within the first cycle {I even had a "feeling" of his conception, I fell pregnant with him on anzac day 11 years ago}. My pregnancy was straight forward, later in the pregnancy I developed pre-eclampsia which only became a danger towards the end...the last month. I was hospitalised on Australia Day and saw the top OB who was happy to start inductions:confused: puzzled me because he confimed my son was 4kg+ and I am petite, go figure!
I went into labour and coped really well, the midwife was surprised of the outcome she visited me personally after the birth. Anyway, I laboured 30 hours and failed to dilate, failed to descend. I DEMANDED a emergancy c-section - and got it. The OB who delived my son said there was no way he was going to pass through my tiny pelvis!! So CPD{celphalic pelvic disproportion} was confirmed.

I wasn't conciously trying to conceive but I wasn't on any contraception either. Nine months after DS was born, I was infact wrapping up last minute christmas present's when I miscarried for the first time. This was such a cruel twist of fate; it was my son's first christmas and I miscarried. I didn't know how to deal with that and decided not too, well that was until I heamoroghed. This continued for three months. Until I went to see a gyno, the most arrogant man, and he made me feel stupid for considering a miscarriage before 12 weeks a miscarriage. Anyway, under much duress he prescriped a medication to help with the heamorghing. It did stop and I went on birth control for a few months to settle down and come to terms with everything that went on.

After my second or third miscarriage I looked into secondary infertility as well. I wasn't sure why this was happening and thought it was something I was doing or not doing. You blame yourself, anaylise your life, your food and just about everything like decetive investigating a crime.

I continued to miscarry, having just about every single type of miscarriage possiable, some early, some appeared to be advanced as they were like mini labour's...it is and was very destressing. I would cry when I saw babies and pregnant women. I would feel angry when I heard of complaining about falling pregnant so eaisly and those who don't care for themselves or their growing baby whilst pregnant. How can fate be so hurtful, where is balance or law's of physic's or nature about that I pondered every opportunity.

After my 9th miscarriage I went to the doctor's again, something that I really don't like to do after a miscarriage unless I'm haemorghing. But with DP beside me I persevered. I got a referal to a OB and asked the GP to organise a sleep study.

Within a month of miscarring I was booked into both appointments. The sleep study involved an over-nighter at hospital to be monitored throughout the night. The OB appointment was involved as well as he needed a detailled history of all the miscarriages and my son's birth and the pregnancy I had with him. He gave me a full and complete check, scan, blood test looking into chromosome's and blood work.

I was then booked into the OB 6wks after the first appointment to receive the results and his reccomendations. About a week before this appointment I received the results of the sleep study and had to booked into a further study this time with breathing apperatus. I was diagnosed as having sleep apnea. My OB who btw, is a lovely man and restored my withered faith in obsetrics!! He told me there isn't anything to be concerned about. Bloods were perfect! Chromosome's perfect!! After examining the results of the sleep study he confirmed this as to the reason why I have being miscarrying so habitually.

Now I have the breathing machine and are fully oxygenated!! I am faced with a new "hurdle".

As I'm use to miscarrying so frequently, it's as if I sub-consceincessly talk myself into it. We figure this to be the reason for my recent miscarriage #10{17/05/06}. DP has an idea up his sleeve and we won't be trying this cycle, he is going to help me.

I can understand you being worried or freaked out about going to the doctors. I wouldn't be concerned with what they will find as in most cases things can be overcome with modern technology. The sub-conscious is a powerful tool and can help and hinder and I think you can see in my case it's hindered.

Sometimes, it's helped me to write out on paper the worst case sererio ?? and write them all down. Once they are down on paper they are then out of head so to speak and it's easier to accept, easier to release these probelms over to your OB.

I was worried about what the OB would find, how I would cope with that and then how would we go about having our goal...a baby in our arms!

It's helped me to let go. Not to hold onto those hiccups of thought, they damage my subconsceincous...and oh how they!!

I wish you luck, I hope you find answer's. The relief that comes from this and burden shared is thereputic in itself!!

castlemum
21-05-2006, 15:04
Thanks everyone.

I try to look at the 'body getting older' part and wonder about that, but I'm only just 24 years old - both kids were born when I was a teenager (17 and 19) so now should be my 'prime' for getting pregnant.

I've wondered about whether there is scarring from the infection (I've heard others who have needed a 'clean out' after an infection in the uterus), I wonder of course if I've done something between now and the last time I had a baby that has stuffed everything up. I wonder if medication has played a part, all sorts of things!

I guess it is easier for me to go oh well you can't have another one, you've already got two (which is a great thing) and you don't *need* another - using the excuses from what people threw at me when I had my daughter (that I had one of each now, no excuses to fall pregnant again, nothing new to experience, as flawed as I find that!).

Not knowing what will happen if I do go to the doctor scares me too. I hate being unprepared, and not knowing what will happen. I have a great GP who is absolutely brilliant, but I just don't know what will happen.

I'm scared or apprehensive of all the basic stuff - will they want to do an internal? (I have only ever had them on one occasion - and that was IN labour when they checked dialation with DS!) What will they say, you know all those little things, as silly as that might seem in the grand scheme of things.

tansy
22-05-2006, 20:32
hi castlemum,
i think we all blame and question ourselves - what you have written sounds just like you have been inside my head!!

I have been trying to deal with all this too!

I'm not currently working which probably doesn't help but am trying to find things to distract me and also working eliminating things that may have/be a cause (even if it's just a cause for me worrying).

I have started writing down the questions i have and then researching to find out if it is 'just me' or what.....it's very confusing..my emotions are all over the place.

Unfortunately i think this is all par for the course .... I wish us all good luck (and a good nights sleep, ha ha!!)

tansy