The boyfriend!!

[Jo_Jo]

Hi ladies,

well here i go my daughter has a boyfriend who lives out of town, he comes and stays every few weeks! he is a lovely fella, and ya can see he is soooo taken with her, he sleeps in with my son at night but they go out and spend time in her bedroom, my daughter is 15 he is 17 the blooody problem is the other half he gets around like a bear with a sore head and is at them all the time what there doing grump grump! it really affects us when this go on i feel so stressed out! i said you are lucky he dosent live in town or he would be here all the time! look we could watch them 24/7 but we cant, and they are going to mess around.....i have spoken with my daughter and i know she is prepared for different stages in the relationship!!!but god dad is not he acts all cool and easy to talk to when the boyfriend is not here and turns into a raging bull when he is....im ready to slap him around a bit he is driving me crazy!:banghead:


cheers....jo:thumbsup:

[*Chels*]

oh dear!!daddies are very protective of their lil girls!!!
my mum used to let my boyfriends stay when i was at home.my first boyfriend was 16 and i was 14.we had sex:o then he dumped me:mad:
i think its great you let your daughters boyfriends stay.at least they are safe at your place and they are not sneaking round behind your back hooking up in an ally somewhere!!
kids are going to have sex,the best thing they can do is to be SAFE!!!
the last thing you want is your daughter getting preg or getting herpes or something!!!
i think if you trust your daughter,talk about safe sex etc she will come to you when she needs advice etc.
best of luck with it all,your doing a great job:thumbsup:

[Mamaduke]

On the odd occasion that my 'boyfriend' would stay at our house my Dad used to stomp up and down the passageway saying,
"This is not on...my house...my rules...this is b.s!" - always directing it at my Mum but loud enough so we'd hear...


I was 25 and engaged to be married in a month!



At the time I thought it was a huge over reaction...but I bet I will be the same...and God help anyone if we ever have a girl - 2 older brothers and a Daddy who remembers what it was like to be that age!!

[Jo_Jo]

well thanks guys, the boyfriend goes home tommorow and dad is calming down somewhat!! it will be great when things get back to normal....lol as i type they are sitting in the lounge all having a friendly chat.......untill they go off to the bedroom...lol

cheers.........jo:thumbsup:

[HugsAndKisses]

DP an i lived in different states 4 about 2 1/2 years an when i visited we'd have to sleep in difffernt bedrooms at his parents place, but at my place my mum would let us sleep together:shame:
at the time i thought DP's parents were unresonable but i now know i would prob feel the same as them....
i just wanna say that if a couple is going to have sex then it can happen nomatter wat you do really cause there is always a way i know this form experiance:o sorry for TMI....
just remember if she does have sex there's prob nothing u could do to prevent it and all u can do is teach her about protection and discourage her as much as u can. hope it doesnt come to that for you and hopefully iv'e helped and not made things more scary :eek:

[SassyMummy]

Thought I'd reply, considering I'm probably closer to your daughter's age than I am to yours. lol.

I do agree that if you daughter is going to get up to anything with this boy, then she will do it regardless of what you tell her or what barriers you put up for her. You OR your partner.

I've done MANY things to be with boys (when I was younger and more impressionable). I've done things with boys in school (after school had finished). I've done things in a water park. I've snuck out and met up with a boy at the local park late at night. I've even run away interstate to see a boy without telling my mother ANYTHING about it (I left her a hidden note...). :eek:

The thing is, my mother believed me to be a lovely innocent girl. I guess because that's the image I wanted her to see. In actual fact, I was a bit of a hussy...lol. I didn't sleep around, but I might as well have. I did everything but (sorry TMI) sex... all without my mother knowing or suspecting anything was going on.

So yeah, I guess my points are: Don't be fooled, and that you can't really stop it from happening.

If I were you, I'd let your hubby be overprotective. It's certainly better than him not caring...(IMO).

[SamanthaJane]

Sorry for the extreme long post...:laughing:
When i met my current partner (Sam) i was a month of turning 15. He had just turned 18We kept it secret (because we knew my dad, and my brother would blow up about it- he was one of my brother's best friends....oopsies lol) anyways the secret lasted for about 3 months ... we would just see eah other on weekends because he'd always be staying at our house (sleeping in my brothers room) we kissed and um did a bit more but no sex!! I knew i wasnt ready for sex, so i didnt do it, and he was fine with that.

Anyway 3 months after we started seeing each other, my brother sort of caught on. He just said 'whatever" .He has always said that if i was with anyone his glad it was sam, i guess because my brother trusts him. (Which is a big thing for him- his so protective over his sisters... so cute! lol) Then a few weeks later my parents caught on... because he was coming around in the week more. Sam kept saying you need to tell your parents so we can make it official. He said he was falling in love with me. God i was hooked after those 3 little words lol!! My dad came out and asked "do u like him" lol, i wasnt going to lie to his face so i said yes, and that he liked me to. And i asked him what he thought about it. He wasnt really happy (as if dads reeeeally ever are lol) but he said he'd live with it because its my life too.

Me and sam were pretty quiet to each other around my family after the whole thing came out, we wanted to tread carefully i guess... Anyways a few weeks later, on new years eve, i had a motel room with my mates, but samuel came and asked me to go for a walk with him, we then ended up lying on someones driveway near my motel lol how romantic:rolleyes: Anyways he said will you be my girlfriend, i accepted of course lol. Gee sounds like a marriage proposal.

So after that, he stayed in my room a couple of times (still we wernt having sex at this stage) but my dad said he wasnt okay with it. He said he'd be more comfortable if sam slept in my brothers room. Sh*t hit the roof in my house that day. I was crying and screaming. Lol so embarrasing, i was such a tantrum thrower. I was hurt that my parents didnt feel as though they trusted me.

So yeah that continued until around about june that year (my parents said they wanted me to be 16 before he slept in my room lol), when my parents went away he stayed in my room (i know, abusing their trust, how naughty...) We started having sex about a month after we were officially "going out" so we'd really been together about 6 months. I did it because i was ready, and to this day i dont regret it. Anyways June came around and he wanted to move to qld, so him and my brother set out to find work. At this stage he started sleeping in my room.... i dont remember why he did it, coz we never okayed it with my parents... i guess my parents didnt care anymore because it was never spoken of again. I think they just wanted to make sure he was around for a while so that we didnt have sex and then he just took off or something.

Anyways they found work and moved away in July. Only lasted a few months and they moved back. Initially me and sam were going to break up, that was the plan. But after a week apart we were missing each other too much. So him and my brother would come back and visit every few weekends and we continued our relationship. Sam moved backwards and forwards over the next year or so without my brother, but we've stayed together all that time. And look where its got us now:laughing:

So i guess its sorta the same in ur situation there he was coming to visit only every so often.

Anyway- Basically i think kids are gunna do anything they want, no matter what you tell them they can and cant do. Sometimes it causes a bad situation, sometimes things work out great either way.

Same with underage drinking- did my parents like that? no. But did i do it? Yep!

I am close to that age so i know how she feels. You feel so mature and so much older than what you are. Its the age where your not an adult, but ur not a kid either. Which i think is such a hard place to be.

As long as you make sure shes aware of what is safe, whats not, what yous would like, what yous wouldnt like and set some sort of a boundary thats fair, everything will be fine.

Dad's are hard to go by- your always going to be daddy's little girl even when your 50!! And dont even get me started on grandfathers:laughing: my mums dad is a nutter. He loves sam though, thank goodness, cause he hates all the other "boyfriends" in our family of siblings, cousins etc. He says sam has a "good head on his shoulders" but all the others are "d*ckheads" lol his a crackup.... he was the type to bring out the rifle on the kids lol

[defaipe]

On the odd occasion that my 'boyfriend' would stay at our house my Dad used to stomp up and down the passageway saying,
"This is not on...my house...my rules...this is b.s!" - always directing it at my Mum but loud enough so we'd hear...


I was 25 and engaged to be married in a month!



At the time I thought it was a huge over reaction...but I bet I will be the same...and God help anyone if we ever have a girl - 2 older brothers and a Daddy who remembers what it was like to be that age!!


im sorry that was so funny!!!!!!!!!!!! 25 lol

[shed]

I think your hubby is doing what is to be expected of a father of a 15 year old girl.

I remember my Dad standing at the front door yelling out my name. When I went to the door there was a boy who had come to see me. Dad goes "What the hell is that?"

meaning the poor adolescent boy who was standing there!!! Geez Dad :o

15 is very young and she needs to be protected from her own decisions in some ways. We all know everything at that age!!

there have been some posts from young girls not much older who have said that their boyfriends were allowed in their room etc and now they are pregnant. So things like that do happen. If you don't want that to happen to your little girl then I guess you need to stay vigilant. Of course she will still sneak out and do what she wants, but you can guide her on what is appropriate and what isn't and hopefully she will take some direction from it.

I don't envy you!! good luck!!

[my babyemmy]

hows it all going there Jo my love:hugs:

[number one dad]

Hi i just thought i would let know from a father of a 16 yr old girl trust me the way your husband is thinking and showing amotions is normal for some reasons dads little girl will always be dads little girl i neally had a heart attact when i first found my daughter and boyfriend asleep in the same bed i can tell you it never happend again but i then put rules in place in my home and asked both her and him to respect them it did seem to work i still tend to watch her like a hawk as her currant bf is 18 but my rules are my rules and they seem to respect them i hope this may help:banghead:

[Sarie]

I can understand how your DH feels. I know I went through it with my parents as well.
With the exception that we were not allowed to sleep in the same room, under their roof, till we were married.

[ButterflyKisses]

IMO I think you just have to set the boundaries and stick with it otherwise somewhere down the track there will be a loss of respect and trust.

In our house when we were growing up we were never allowed to sleep in the same bed as our boyfriends/girlfriends no matter what age we were and we all respected mum's house rules.

I lived at home until I was 25 and still respected mum's rules - her house/her rules. It was never an issue with me and if it had of been I would have just moved out and got my own place.

I met my DH when I was 33 and he was 37. He had moved back in with his parents after his last relationship went belly up. I slept over there one night as we were getting up at the crack of dawn the next morning to go to Perisher. I slept in his bed and he had to sleep on the couch. Even at 37 he still respected his parents house rules.

If it was my 15 yr old daughter my DH and myself would have the same opinion that your DH has.

[Sarie]

If it was my 15 yr old daughter my DH and myself would have the same opinion that your DH has.
Me too.:thumbsup:

[Jo_Jo]

well thanks for the support:hugs:

but to my shock and everyone else,s in the house the boyfriend was here last week and out of the blue the other half called DD and the boyfriend into the loungeroom while i was folding told them to sit and listen and well went on for about an hour and half very scarely and at the end of it all said so i have come to a decision that when the boyfriend comes to stay he can stay with DD in her room that now they have been together 6 months have shown respect and when talking to DD last week.."i did not even know he had been talking to her about all this...:eek: " was very happy that they were taking all precautions he then turned to me and said what do you think dear......well i could not speak i was in shock i just nodded...father and boyfriend shoock hands he leaned forward to him and said ever so quietly you stuff with my daughter and i will hunt you down, do we understand each other he nodded, yes sir.............................good so we will see you in a fortnight then, now hope in the car so i can drop you off...
so there you go how is that for a 3.60 it made me think as my dad was full on strict he would not even let a guy stay past tea let alone the night and well i was a teenage mummy at 17 and even when i was pregnant dad would not let us sleep together...lol the damage had been done, all i can say bringing up teenagers is very hard and brings up heaps of memories of being one!


cheers....jo