Wet Nurses - do they really exist?

[just her chameleon]

I just got off the phone to my childless child care worker friend (I've posted about her before). She questioned if my hospital had a wet nurse and why I didn't use her? :confused:

Now I had no idea what she was on about. Apparently they are lactating nurses who can breatfeed your bubs in situations similar to mine (no milk).

Ewww even if my hospital did have a wet nurse there is no way in hell i'd allow some other womans breast milk anywhere near my baby. :no:

Has anyone ever heard of this before?

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Um...

Why do you really want to know if you don't want one? :confused:

But yes, there are wet nurses. They don't work in hospitals I am pretty sure, its more like a private arrangement between mothers.

[Ana Gram]

I've not heard of wet nurses on staff in hospitals. Perhaps she is getting confused with milk banks?

[Jakois]

I haven't heard of wet nurses in hospitals.
But i think it would be fabulous if there were:).

[Shakey]

lol wet nurses have been long gone out of hospitals

you will find them in other cultures though, but definatly not in australia, unless its been arranged by the mother, with either a family member being the wet nurse, or a friend, I have heard of some people advertising for a wet nurse if no-one in the family or no friends would do it

[~Bec~]

Wet nurses were very popular many years ago when basically the sole purpose of wives was to have babies. Given that breastfeeding has contraceptive abilities wet nurses were often used so the wives could get pregnant again (what fun!). I believe it was also a social status thing as well.

I've never heard of a modern day wet nurse in western society (doesn't mean they don't exist) but there are milk banks with donated milk. I know of at least one woman on BH who uses donated BM because she couldn't bf.

[lealea79]

there was a thread on here not that long ago as i was in total shock that this does happen.. it was interesting to read the stories though.. and apparently the milk bank is at the hospitals going from the other thread... but i agree with you, there is no way i would let another womans breast milk in my baby.. that is just to weird for me.. sorry if i sound naive but thats my opinion

[Harlequin]

I know of at least one woman on BH who uses donated BM because she couldn't bf.

That's so great.


Not that she can't bf, but that she uses donated bm for her bub :yelclap:

[BabelFish]

That attitude always bemuses me. Someone who thinks it's gross to give another human's breast milk to their baby but is quite happy to feed it a derivative from a cow???

Wet nurses were used all the time in earlier days - all the time. I think it's a lovely concept. I'd far rather my child be getting breast milk from somewhere, than no breast milk at all (if the option was there - DD has had plenty of formula since she was born so I'm not against that either).

The milk in milk banks is donated EBM. There's nothing wrong with that either - it's not like it's unhygienic or anything. I'd be happy to give it to my child.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

That attitude always bemuses me. Someone who thinks it's gross to give another human's breast milk to their baby but is quite happy to feed it a derivative from a cow???
:iagree: :confused: :confused:

[sam's mum]

That attitude always bemuses me. Someone who thinks it's gross to give another human's breast milk to their baby but is quite happy to feed it a derivative from a cow???

Wet nurses were used all the time in earlier days - all the time. I think it's a lovely concept. I'd far rather my child be getting breast milk from somewhere, than no breast milk at all (if the option was there - DD has had plenty of formula since she was born so I'm not against that either).

The milk in milk banks is donated EBM. There's nothing wrong with that either - it's not like it's unhygienic or anything. I'd be happy to give it to my child.

:iagree: same species wet nurse, or chemically manipulated different species.

[Nowhere]

yes they do excist I dont think it is very nice to say EWWW about it either, some babies live on milk from a wet nurse, When you think about it logicaly its actualy no more ewww or actualy less eww than having a baby suck cow breast milk from a rubber bottle top KWIM

[Mrs Nietzsche]

We are of course happy to accept blood transfusions, heart transplants, and so on - all would be accepted instantly if our baby's health required it so it's curious that breast milk is treated so differently.

I saw something recently about how babies on donated milk didn't fare any better than babies on formula - maybe the antibodies had been lost when sanitising it or something? I can't remember where i read it so I don't know how reliable the source was.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Donated milk from milk banks is pasteurised.

It does lose some of its beneficial antibodies during that process, yes. :yes:

[Shakey]

oh I forgot to add before, wet nurses are comming back with celebs useing them

so ya never know, we might be seeing alot more of them around australia in the near future

[*babygirl*]

i used to have the same "GROSS" attitude about breastmilk in general.. but then some lovely hubbers opened my eyes to just how golden breastmilk is and i'll never be so closed to the subject again:D

i think the concept of wet nurses and DBM is wonderful... for those that cant or wont... where other women can step in an ensure the best start for any infant.. i just wish i had have been this open when DD was a baby.:yes:

i would consider being a wet-nurse of sorts in the future if anyone close to me ever needed it:yes:

[Fuchsia!]

That attitude always bemuses me. Someone who thinks it's gross to give another human's breast milk to their baby but is quite happy to feed it a derivative from a cow???


:laughing::laughing: :iagree: My thoughts exactly.

[Freya]

yes they do excist I dont think it is very nice to say EWWW about it either, some babies live on milk from a wet nurse, When you think about it logicaly its actualy no more ewww or actualy less eww than having a baby suck cow breast milk from a rubber bottle top KWIM


We are of course happy to accept blood transfusions, heart transplants, and so on - all would be accepted instantly if our baby's health required it so it's curious that breast milk is treated so differently.

I saw something recently about how babies on donated milk didn't fare any better than babies on formula - maybe the antibodies had been lost when sanitising it or something? I can't remember where i read it so I don't know how reliable the source was.

:iagree:

I wouldn't have to think twice about using DBM for any future bubs if I was unable to BF especially for the first few months BM is so beneficial for babies.

[MissSookyLaLa]

I think your friend might be concerned because of the term 'wet nurse'...as wet nurses aren't actual nurses.

Wet nurses were a major part of motherhood in the recent past (up to early 1900's)

Upper class women would hire women from the lower classes, typically women who were breastfeeding their own children, or who had recently miscarried so were lactating...

Obviously formula is a comparatively recent invention, so wet nurses were also necessary for women who couldn't breastfeed themselves...

I am VERY interested to know who these celebs are that are using wet nurses???

[just her chameleon]

Um...

Why do you really want to know if you don't want one? :confused:

But yes, there are wet nurses. They don't work in hospitals I am pretty sure, its more like a private arrangement between mothers.

Curiosity :)


That attitude always bemuses me. Someone who thinks it's gross to give another human's breast milk to their baby but is quite happy to feed it a derivative from a cow???

Wet nurses were used all the time in earlier days - all the time. I think it's a lovely concept. I'd far rather my child be getting breast milk from somewhere, than no breast milk at all (if the option was there - DD has had plenty of formula since she was born so I'm not against that either).

The milk in milk banks is donated EBM. There's nothing wrong with that either - it's not like it's unhygienic or anything. I'd be happy to give it to my child.

Because i would never trust another mother to eat the right foods/not drink alcohol etc etc. I would rather place my trust in formula in which the manufacturers must abide by strict government and health regulations.


yes they do excist I dont think it is very nice to say EWWW about it either, some babies live on milk from a wet nurse, When you think about it logicaly its actualy no more ewww or actualy less eww than having a baby suck cow breast milk from a rubber bottle top KWIM

I wasn't saying it to be nasty. IMO I don't like it. I'm entitled to my opinion, as you are to your opinion. :o


i used to have the same "GROSS" attitude about breastmilk in general.. but then some lovely hubbers opened my eyes to just how golden breastmilk is and i'll never be so closed to the subject again

i think the concept of wet nurses and DBM is wonderful... for those that cant or wont... where other women can step in an ensure the best start for any infant.. i just wish i had have been this open when DD was a baby.

i would consider being a wet-nurse of sorts in the future if anyone close to me ever needed it:yes:

I understand the benefits of MY breastmilk for MY child. I would have given anything to be able to breastfeed BUT I would never give my child someone else's milk.

I might just add that once again a simple question/topic has started a debate and people feel the need to question other peoples different opinions. WHY WHY WHY :hair: There is simply no need for it.

Thank you to all who responded to my question positively :thumbsup:

[Kittylou]

I might just add that once again a simple question/topic has started a debate and people feel the need to question other peoples different opinions. WHY WHY WHY :hair: There is simply no need for it.



I think possibly because your OP sounded like you were rather uninformed on the issue and so people were giving you their somewhat more educated and informed opinions on the topic.

[GraceUnhearing]

Ewww even if my hospital did have a wet nurse there is no way in hell i'd allow some other womans breast milk anywhere near my baby. :no:


it is SOOOOOO incredibly sad that in this day and age people think breast milk is ewww. :(



That attitude always bemuses me. Someone who thinks it's gross to give another human's breast milk to their baby but is quite happy to feed it a derivative from a cow???

Wet nurses were used all the time in earlier days - all the time. I think it's a lovely concept. I'd far rather my child be getting breast milk from somewhere, than no breast milk at all (if the option was there - DD has had plenty of formula since she was born so I'm not against that either).

The milk in milk banks is donated EBM. There's nothing wrong with that either - it's not like it's unhygienic or anything. I'd be happy to give it to my child.

:iagree:
how it is any different from drinking milk from a million different cows?


We are of course happy to accept blood transfusions, heart transplants, and so on - all would be accepted instantly if our baby's health required it so it's curious that breast milk is treated so differently.



:iagree:
how is it different?



There is no way I would give my baby formula if there was a wet nurse available.

:iagree:
the same as donated milk.

[wattlebird]

I'm with you MumtoChloe.

I could never give my child another woman's breastmilk. The whole idea doesn't sit well with me.

I have no issue with anyone using donated breastmilk, but its definitely not something that I'd be comfortable with.

If that 'bemuses' some people - so be it! Everyone is entitled to an opinion - whether it 'bemuses' or not.;)

[cassvanm]

OK, here are my two cents:

1) I am an advocate for breastfeeding - check out the avatar! :D
2) I understand that some women simply cannot feed from the breast for a myriad of reasons
3) I think everyone is entitled to their own opinion
4) I wouldn't use a "wet nurse" in a traditional sense either - the thought of my infant suckling at another womans' breast is simply NOT for me at all!
5) I would use donated BM or FF my bub if I couldn't do so myself.

Thats my opinion, so there you have it :p

[forbetoel]

OP, congratulations on your bubs.

A wet nurse is very valuable. Many, many women have benifited from using a wet nurse. Some women maybe with insecurity issues, or lack of BFing information may find the thought a turn off, but i can assure you that thee is nothing Eww or icky or gross about it. I would have no problem with it, it is just a live bottle really with a much more nourishing content. I wouldn't be jealous of a bottle feeding my baby, so another women feeding my baby if i were unable would be a blessing.

I would probally have a problem with a total stranger breast feeding my baby, because after all we are talking about a bodily fluid so I would prefer for it to be somebody in my family or a good friend.

If i wasn't able to breast feed in those early weeks I would have no hesitation in a wet nurse providing milk directly to my baby. I would prefer a wet nurse over donor milk if given the choice because stored breast milk does lose some of it's magical qualities...not all...but enough for me to prefer a wet nurse.

I have breast fed my neice before, and my sister has breast fed my son. No biggie at all for us.

[forbetoel]

Op...You stated in your opening post that you thought a wet nurse was 'Ewwww' and then you asked the question "do wet nurses really exist?"

If you only wanted your simple question answered, then maybe you should have left out your own opinion on the topic, so that others wouldn't simply do the same. :)

[just her chameleon]

OP, congratulations on your bubs.

A wet nurse is very valuable. Many, many women have benifited from using a wet nurse. Some women maybe with insecurity issues, or lack of BFing information may find the thought a turn off, but i can assure you that thee is nothing Eww or icky or gross about it. I would have no problem with it, it is just a live bottle really with a much more nourishing content. I wouldn't be jealous of a bottle feeding my baby, so another women feeding my baby if i were unable would be a blessing.

I would probally have a problem with a total stranger breast feeding my baby, because after all we are talking about a bodily fluid so I would prefer for it to be somebody in my family or a good friend.

If i wasn't able to breast feed in those early weeks I would have no hesitation in a wet nurse providing milk directly to my baby. I would prefer a wet nurse over donor milk if given the choice because stored breast milk does lose some of it's magical qualities...not all...but enough for me to prefer a wet nurse.

I have breast fed my neice before, and my sister has breast fed my son. No biggie at all for us.

I have no insecurity issues and I was quite well informed about breastfeeding even prior to having my baby. Why would you assume that? I cried to myself for weeks after i changed to formula because i knew i wasn't giving the best to my daughter. I felt like a hypocrite because i'd vowed to always protect her and give her the best of everything. MY breastmilk is perfect for MY daughter. IMO someone else's breast milk for my daughter is gross - not mine.

This will be the last post I have on this topic, as I'm going to end up saying something I'll regret later on....

[NibbleCurlynBub]

:iagree:4B2L

You opened with a clouded view of what a wet nurse was and dismissed it with a loud 'Ewww' before people even answered your questions about it.
You were clearly against it, hence why I couldn't wrap my head around why you would ask about it.

[forbetoel]

I have no insecurity issues and I was quite well informed about breastfeeding even prior to having my baby. Why would you assume that? I cried to myself for weeks after i changed to formula because i knew i wasn't giving the best to my daughter. I felt like a hypocrite because i'd vowed to always protect her and give her the best of everything. MY breastmilk is perfect for MY daughter. IMO someone else's breast milk for my daughter is gross - not mine.

This will be the last post I have on this topic, as I'm going to end up saying something I'll regret later on....

Darl, I never said you were insecure. I said "SOME women MAYBE with insecuritie issues"

[Milliner]

I would feed my child breast milk –my own or donated – over artificial milk any day. The thought of feeding my babies formula is just Ewwwww. :p

[poppie]

I think I would feel a bit strange about another woman I did not know breastfeeding my baby. However, I would have no problems at all allowing my sister, SIL or close friend to feed my baby if I could not. Although I have had to turn to FF in the past, I would trust someone close to keep their breastmilk 'clean' over some manufacturers. Just look at the recent scare with a very well known brand that killed 1 newborn (not sure if there were anymore) and hospitalised many more. I was wet nursed back in the 70's by my aunt as my wonderful mother was not producing enough milk and I was deemed a 'failure to thrive' baby. I was also lactose intolerant and threw up all manner of formula. Once I had my aunts milk I thrived. I am sorry if anyone thinks I am gross for admitting that, but too bad:laughing:

[GraceUnhearing]

I would feed my child breast milk –my own or donated – over artificial milk any day. The thought of feeding my babies formula is just Ewwwww. :p

:iagree:

[twotrunks]

I must be such a prude cause I actually just gasped out loud when I read 4BTLs post about feeding her sister's child and vice-versa... then i realised how ridiculous I was being. Obviously there is a level of trust and comfort there that I haven't experienced with my own family members so do not understand. I have actually had nightmares in the past about other women breastfeeding my babies... so I must be insecure I guess! I just find it such a special bonding process, and so personal, that I cannot imagine letting someone else do it. I would be happy to accept EBM if necessary though, or to offer it, but i could never allow someone else to actually feed my baby, nor could I physically feed someone else's. Well unless it were literally a life or death situation I guess, like a war zone or trapped on a desert island type thing.
Yep I'm a prude :)
TT
ps. If I had had trouble with supply in the past i might be able to be more accepting of the idea I think.

[PrincessDani]

Human Milk for Human Babies!!! There is nothing 'ewww' about breastmilk be it coming from yours or someone elses. Honestly cows milk makes me :barf: I dont go near the stuff. Soy for me :D

[naiwen]

DBM has saved many premature babies.

I hope no one would dismiss that.

[MilkOnTap]

Because i would never trust another mother to eat the right foods/not drink alcohol etc etc. I would rather place my trust in formula in which the manufacturers must abide by strict government and health regulations.

I understand what your saying and the hesitation you have in trusting another human to eat the right things. But just consider this for a moment...

Earlier in the year (Jan/Feb) it was discovered that a large portion of the plastic bottle market was used with plastics that were contaminated.
http://www.reuters.com/article/pressRelease/idUS187359+31-Jan-2008+PRN20080131

5 months ago a huge amount of formula in the UK had to be recalled due to contamination.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1025950/Curdled-baby-milk-recalled-infants-violently-sick.html

Only 3 months ago there was contaminated formula through China.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1025950/Curdled-baby-milk-recalled-infants-violently-sick.html


Even if a mother was eating and drinking the wrong things, her body is DESIGNED to filter out the 'bad stuff' so her baby still receives the good nutrients for her baby. Her body will even deplete ITSELF of nutrients before allowing her breastmilk to become inadequate for her baby to consume.

IMO - I much prefer to trust human bodies, than human engineers that are capable of human error.

[MellyMumma]

oh I forgot to add before, wet nurses are comming back with celebs useing them

so ya never know, we might be seeing alot more of them around australia in the near future


How wonderful that would be for those who just can't do it themselves!! :yes: Maybe it will also help to eradicate the 'gross factor' of bf in public etc - I mean by changing peoples attitudes toward bf etc.

[UmmInayah]

In some religions its a baby's right to breastmilk, so if mum cannot breastfeed bub for whatever reason, she is to find a wet nurse, and only if she cannot find a wet nurse is she to put her baby on artificial breastmilk.

Wet nurses are wonderful women. I think it takes a lot to offer to feed another person's child like that. I don't think it's eww at all.

[ellie13]

Just wanted to ask....theory-if a wet nurse would express breast milk (say daily) stored it in fridge, than gave it to you adn you fed in to your bub......would it still have the good nutrients ( because it wasn't pasteurised?). I know it might sound as dumb question, but just was wandering.

I was actually thinking about this issue before I saw this thread, cause I am contemplating having mastectomies, but would like more bubs, and I have BF both of my Dd's so far. So I was feeling uneasy about having the op before the next bub, aas I feel that he/she would miss out on the goodness. On the other hand I don't feel easy about my bub suckling on another women (but Ii might get over it especially if it is soomeone I know) but I thought what if the lady expressed and than gave it to me... and I fed bub???Would that work... Sorry if I"ve gone off the subject.

[kkaz]

That attitude always bemuses me. Someone who thinks it's gross to give another human's breast milk to their baby but is quite happy to feed it a derivative from a cow???


:iagree: Or formula. I have attempted to give my DD formula once or twice just in case there is no EBM while I am away, so I am not totally against the idea. But I was looking at the list of ingredients the other day. Palm oil, coconut oil, demineralised whey...... YUCK! i would use it if I needed, but give me a wet nurse anyday!



Ewww even if my hospital did have a wet nurse there is no way in hell i'd allow some other womans breast milk anywhere near my baby. :no:


Hmmmm..okay...better use the palm / coconut oil, demineralised whey concoction then ;).


.

I would probally have a problem with a total stranger breast feeding my baby, because after all we are talking about a bodily fluid so I would prefer for it to be somebody in my family or a good friend.

If i wasn't able to breast feed in those early weeks I would have no hesitation in a wet nurse providing milk directly to my baby. I would prefer a wet nurse over donor milk if given the choice because stored breast milk does lose some of it's magical qualities...not all...but enough for me to prefer a wet nurse.

I have breast fed my neice before, and my sister has breast fed my son. No biggie at all for us.

:iagree: Funny, but I recently found out my SIL is pregnant. For some strange reason, I found myself imagining myself offering to BF her bubs if she weren't able (there is no reason to think she would not be able to, though). Not sure why I would think about that (she is only 14 weeks), but I must admit I was very happy with the idea of doing it! :D


There is no debate. You realise that your breastmilk is better for your baby than formula and the World Health Organisation and many of us on here think that donated breastmilk is better for your baby than formula.



:iagree:Yep, if you check out the WHO recommendations, donated BM is recommended above formula, that is for sure. Unfortunately, it is just not usually a practical thing to do. It should be, though!!

[Tam-I-Am]

I understand what your saying and the hesitation you have in trusting another human to eat the right things. But just consider this for a moment...

Earlier in the year (Jan/Feb) it was discovered that a large portion of the plastic bottle market was used with plastics that were contaminated.
http://www.reuters.com/article/pressRelease/idUS187359+31-Jan-2008+PRN20080131

5 months ago a huge amount of formula in the UK had to be recalled due to contamination.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1025950/Curdled-baby-milk-recalled-infants-violently-sick.html

Only 3 months ago there was contaminated formula through China.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1025950/Curdled-baby-milk-recalled-infants-violently-sick.html


Even if a mother was eating and drinking the wrong things, her body is DESIGNED to filter out the 'bad stuff' so her baby still receives the good nutrients for her baby. Her body will even deplete ITSELF of nutrients before allowing her breastmilk to become inadequate for her baby to consume.

IMO - I much prefer to trust human bodies, than human engineers that are capable of human error.

Thanks Ally - you said what I was going to say and I didn't even have to find the evidence :p

To the OP - TBH, I can understand where you're coming from. I used to feel the way you do - I couldn't imagine ever thinking it would be okay for another woman to breastfeed my babies. Now - I can't imagine turning to formula while there was an open-minded, lactating friend or relative available to me and my baby :)

I so strongly believe in this that I've recently offered to donate some EBM for a friend's baby. She can't breastfeed and used EBM near-exclusively for the first 6 months of her bub's life, and good on her! Its worth noting that she's very careful with her child's safety and health - I've gotten a blood test and toxicology screen in order to show her that my health is fine, and her baby won't suffer any ill effects from my milk, and of course its a huge responsibility - to not do anythign to 'contaminate' my milk that she wouldn't approve of, or at least tell her if I have so she's informed and can make a decision on that basis :)

There's nothing 'ewww' about it. :)


Just wanted to ask....theory-if a wet nurse would express breast milk (say daily) stored it in fridge, than gave it to you adn you fed in to your bub......would it still have the good nutrients ( because it wasn't pasteurised?). I know it might sound as dumb question, but just was wandering.

I was actually thinking about this issue before I saw this thread, cause I am contemplating having mastectomies, but would like more bubs, and I have BF both of my Dd's so far. So I was feeling uneasy about having the op before the next bub, aas I feel that he/she would miss out on the goodness. On the other hand I don't feel easy about my bub suckling on another women (but Ii might get over it especially if it is soomeone I know) but I thought what if the lady expressed and than gave it to me... and I fed bub???Would that work... Sorry if I"ve gone off the subject.

Pasteurisation kills pathogens and makes the 'texture' of the milk consistent - it stops the fat separating from the water content. Because of the heat involved, it kills off some of the microbiological content (ie the antibodies that milk naturally contains), but it doesn't (as far as I"m aware) do anything to the actual nutritional content.

A lot of the time, women who can't breastfeed and use 'wet nurses' only use EBM - so no, its not a silly idea. I don't think that you can pasteurise milk yourself, though, so in your case you might want to consider doing what the mum of the bub who will be receiving my EBM donations is doing and getting your donor to undergo some blood tests and a toxicity/drug screen so you can make an informed decision about their health status.

HTH :)

[FiveInTheBed]

wasn't there a lady in China who fed a heap of babies when they had an earth quake not too long ago!!??

:thumbsup:

I know even now, months on from finishing feeding my own bubs...my boobies ache when I hear a newborn cry...If I had to I would feed anothers bub. And if i had known about DBM banks (and if they were available out here in the sticks) I would've used them for DS2...He had heaps of reactions to formula:(

[MilkOnTap]

Pasteurisation kills pathogens and makes the 'texture' of the milk consistent - it stops the fat separating from the water content. Because of the heat involved, it kills off some of the microbiological content (ie the antibodies that milk naturally contains), but it doesn't (as far as I"m aware) do anything to the actual nutritional content.

Make me your apprentice!!! You's gots da smarts!!! :p

[MilkOnTap]

wasn't there a lady in China who fed a heap of babies when they had an earth quake not too long ago!!??

Certainly was!!! Its one of the most beautiful images of a breastfeeding woman that I've ever witnessed :yes:

http://mamaknowsbreast.com/china_earthquake/

[Phyllis Stein]

Ha, I just got my gorgeous 9mo DS off to sleep with some donated breastmilk. :goodvibes: He certainly doesn't have a problem with it. :D

It's so sad that our society has conditioned us to be so non-trusting of our bodies and so utterly apathetic about artificially created products though.



I saw something recently about how babies on donated milk didn't fare any better than babies on formula - maybe the antibodies had been lost when sanitising it or something? I can't remember where i read it so I don't know how reliable the source was.

I'd be interested in reading that. Pasteurising DBM does destroy bacteria, but there's soooooooo much more to breastmilk than that. It really does depend on what you're measuring - immune benefits, enzymes, bacteria, fatty acids etc, as to how the two compare. Perhaps on one highly selective measure the difference is minimal, but overall, I'm convinced both empirically and anecdotally that DBM is the healthiest option.



Because i would never trust another mother to eat the right foods/not drink alcohol etc etc. I would rather place my trust in formula in which the manufacturers must abide by strict government and health regulations.

Sorry, but that made me lol. The regulations are far less stringent than many believe, especially in regard to 'novel' ingredients. A review of standards has only been initiated recently... over ten years since the last. :eek:

[poppie]

Certainly was!!! Its one of the most beautiful images of a breastfeeding woman that I've ever witnessed :yes:

http://mamaknowsbreast.com/china_earthquake/
:iagree:What a wonderful sight

[PunkyDiva]

Just sitting here quivering with delight at the positivity amoungst most members, surrounding use of wet nurses and DBM. :goodvibes:

[BabelFish]

If that 'bemuses' some people - so be it! Everyone is entitled to an opinion - whether it 'bemuses' or not.;)

bemuse
Related Forms · Synonyms · Usage Examples

bemuse definition
be·muse (bē myo̵̅o̅z′, bi-)
transitive verb bemused -·mused′, bemusing -·mus′·ing
:to muddle or confuse.

Why is my confusion by someone's reaction to human breast milk versus cow's milk worthy of such condescension?

Or did you perhaps think I was trying to use the word `amuse'? It doesn't amuse me - it baffles me, somewhat. I don't understand why the milk from an unrelated species should not be considered `ewwww' when the milk from a female of the same species is.

Cows are fed all kind of chemicals, hormones and derivatives, and that goes right into the formula along with all of the other additives. So, to my mind, what the mother eats can be no worse than what the cow is fed.

Like I said, I use formula too. I have to, because I've had such a tough time with breastfeeding for any number of reasons. So I am not against formula. Nor am I against DBM or wet-nurses. Some are, some aren't. Whatever floats your boat.

Just my opinion, of course. I understand we're all entitled to one of those. ;)

[reAllytee]

Also just recently Melamine was found in formula in the U.S but in very minute amounts ... Still scary though & as has been said what if we say now " but this amount is safe ! " only to find out in 30-50yrs it isnt :thumbsdown:

I would love to have G on BM but sadly he just cant handle it !

Come hell or high water my next babe will have BM whether it be from me or someone I can trust.

Human milk for human babies ....

Cows milk isnt meant for ours !

[neostudded]

2B2L, I have also fed a relatives twins (my aunty has twins).

I expressed when they were prem babies, and I breastfed them as well. One time my aunt left a bottle for me to give her daughter, bub refused the bottle because she could smell my milk! :laughing:

I rang her and she was going to be another 20 minutes, so I offered to feed her baby, and she was very thankful. By the time I got off the phone my boobs were leaking and I was getting a letdown.

My aunt said she wanted me to see what it was like to breastfeed two at once, and I tried and it worked for about two seconds.:laughing: It was so hard to position them.

I would feed a close friends baby, or a family members baby for sure.
I would donate milk, but I don't have much luck expressing.

[lealea79]

i posted before, isnt breast feeding meant to be a bonding experience between you and your baby? i can understand the expressing milk and even getting breast milk from someone else btu in a bottle.. but feeding someone elses baby wouldnt that be classed as bonding with there baby?

[Naboo]

I would be mighty jealous if another woman breastfed my baby! :o

[just her chameleon]

My goodness - this is worse than highschool :(


Op...You stated in your opening post that you thought a wet nurse was 'Ewwww' and then you asked the question "do wet nurses really exist?"

If you only wanted your simple question answered, then maybe you should have left out your own opinion on the topic, so that others wouldn't simply do the same. :)

There is a distinct difference between voicing your opinion and attacking someone elses at the same time. Unfortunately most hubbers don't know the difference.


Darl, I never said you were insecure. I said "SOME women MAYBE with insecuritie issues"

Oh ok - thank you for clearing that up :)


DBM has saved many premature babies.

I hope no one would dismiss that.

Definitely not dismissing - it's just not for me.


Sorry, but that made me lol. The regulations are far less stringent than many believe, especially in regard to 'novel' ingredients. A review of standards has only been initiated recently... over ten years since the last. :eek:

And they certainly aren't as bad as some people make out either.


i posted before, isnt breast feeding meant to be a bonding experience between you and your baby? i can understand the expressing milk and even getting breast milk from someone else btu in a bottle.. but feeding someone elses baby wouldnt that be classed as bonding with there baby?

:iagree: Just to clarify - the 'eww' in my OP was about someone else BF MY bub. It was not about BF in general or about EBM. I cannot believe that a simple question about wet nurses and a 'eeww' has turned into a raging debate over BF vs FF. It wasn't my intention at all....

Thanks to all who participated positively.

[Blueberry Crumble]

God, I think you ladies need to BACK OFF. Really, if she finds it eww big freakin deal. Just her opinion. Deal with it. I personally wouldnt want my baby sucking off some other womans boobs either

[Phyllis Stein]

Just sitting here quivering with delight at the positivity amoungst most members, surrounding use of wet nurses and DBM. :goodvibes:

Me too! It's making it awfully hard to maintain any sense of outrage! :D



:iagree: Just to clarify - the 'eww' in my OP was about someone else BF MY bub. It was not about BF in general or about EBM. I cannot believe that a simple question about wet nurses and a 'eeww' has turned into a raging debate over BF vs FF. It wasn't my intention at all....


Noone's attacking you. :) People are commenting on the views you expressed in your OP, not you personally. It's a public forum and all that.

There's nothing 'wrong' with not wanting someone else to nurse your child though - it's a personal decision and involves much trust. I'm not comfortable with it because of the closeness and bonding involved, though I happily feed DS DBM. Describing it as "ew" or "gross" as your reasons is inviting comment from others though. That reflects a common prejudice or distrust of breastmilk in our culture that should be challenged IMO. :)

[Mathermy]

hmmmmmmm.

wetnursing-probably not for me. I'm not sure I could trust anyone enough.

I don't think it's eww though, just not something I would feel comfortble with.

Donated BM, if necessary yes but again probably only through a milk bank that I knew had rigid procedures in place.

I just don't think I could trust anyone simply on the basis that they said they were healthy, or trust that they would adjust their own lifestyle in the way that I do when feeding a baby. Even on bubhub I have noticed people have different ideas about what is and isn't suitable to do whilst breastfeeding.

and I don't really buy the cow argument, I mean if women had to strap their babies to a cow and have them suckle at the nipple then people would probably be equally uncomfortable with it. But clearly they don't so I'm not sure the two can be compared so simplistically.

[La Que Sabe]

for su re! i think it's great.
this is just my opinion, but i think that as long as there is lactating women in the world, there is no need for formula. and i think that all the people that do think it's gross, it's just the way they've been brought up, if they were brought up in an over seas african community say, they would think it completely normal, for example i know that 2 women purposely get pregnant at the same time so that then when they are born, one mum stays home and feeds/looks after the babies and the other goes out to the fields to work, then the next day they swap etc.

also, it's been said that people don't trust what the mothers eat etc, it doesn't matter what they eat, the babies will get what they need out the milk IYKWIM?

i posted a thread a while ago about my friend having trouble breastfeeding, not getting milk etc, so another friend who just had a baby part time fed her baby when she couldn't get any milk out. i thought it was lovely!!

me, personally, if i couldn't BF i would use some one elses's milk, not formula. but that's just me! :yes:

[workin'mumof2]

monkey&mum - i dont know if this is relevent but i was breastfed for 12months and i still would not use dbm or a wet nurse.. if i could not feed my baby it would be formula.

although i wouldnt use the word ewww it is definatly not for me or my family.

[munchie]

Yes I would gladly accept DBM, however letting another woman feed my baby. nope - not for me:no:

[abiishu]

I think wet nurses are amazing! :goodvibes::yelclap:

If I was unable to breastfeed my bub I would be eternally grateful to have a wet nurse feed my bub! I would also be more than happy to act as a wet nurse and feed another bub in need :yes:

IMHO it is a sad reflection on our modern society that 'wet nursing' is viewed by so many with distrust and distaste :no:

[Lillynix]

Wet nurses rock :D

If I couldn't breastfeed DS or an emergency situation came up, there's a few lovely women in my area that would happily breastfeed (or donate BM) my DS and i'd be there for them too.

For me, the use of formula carriers far too many health risks for me to consider it safe unless there truely was no other option. I find formula very ewww!

[Hollywood]

I think wet nurses are a great idea :yes:

however....I can understand if some women are not excited by the idea. When I was new to breastfeeding, I was very threatened by anyone other than me feeding my newborn DS.

I even got upset when I had to express a whole day of feeds for DH to give to DS. I would have happily fed DS the EBM, but we had a nightmare few days back then where there was literally no time between feeds for me to just express and then feed DS, so I had to express whilst DH fed him (I was expressing to relieve my shredded nipples).

I don't know why, but I just found it very upsetting to see DH feed DS a bottle of expressed milk whilst I was expressing. It broke my heart and I just sat there thinking "This sucks, I want to be FEEDING him MYSELF"

Now that I'm a BFing veteran of nearly 2 years, I could easily let another woman breastfeed my child, and I think I'll feel more open about it with any subsequent babies too.

I think some of us are just a bit vulnerable when our first born babies are so new and the thought of another woman getting *that* close to our babies is just a bit threatening (like it was with my DS).

[Aquillah]

Im just going to add my two cents here even though Mum to Chloe has left the building..

If you post on a big public forum about a topic that is very personal to women and you say nothing about what you are intentions are (whether its a debate or posting an opinion and please dont debate) , how the heck are people supposed to be mindreaders?

If you dont want a healthy debate (and I thought this thread was very informative, tactful and non attack like) then tell people that in your OP. Honestly, if you want to express your opinion and thats it - say so!

I truly dont know what you expected after posting something like that? I think most people would know that comments like yours (whether they are right or wrong) are going to attract comments that dont refelct yours.

I think debates like these ones ( I have seen worse) are great because I think we all see something new. I myself would not use DBM however I think its GREAT that people are providing and using this valuable resource!

Goodluck Chloes Mum, I hope it all works out for you:wave:

[Lyglc]

Hey, I've got a question about using donated milk or wet nurse as this has got me thinking.

I think I remember when going to pre-natal classes (about 5 years ago) that the midwife was saying how breastmilk is made espcially for your baby.

That at the beginning the it's mostly colostrum (as this is what a newborn mostly needs) and then the milk changes as your baby gets older.

I could be mistaken, but this is what I thought I heard.

If donating milk or using a wet nurse, would this be an issue?

Would be eally interested to find out if anyone knows:)

[AM]

Hey, I've got a question about using donated milk or wet nurse as this has got me thinking.

I think I remember when going to pre-natal classes (about 5 years ago) that the midwife was saying how breastmilk is made espcially for your baby.

That at the beginning the it's mostly colostrum (as this is what a newborn mostly needs) and then the milk changes as your baby gets older.

I could be mistaken, but this is what I thought I heard.

If donating milk or using a wet nurse, would this be an issue?

Would be eally interested to find out if anyone knows:)


Yes, you are absolutely right, the donated breastmilk will not be 'tailored' to the baby it is donated to specifically, but if the mum cannot breastfeed directly, or express, then donated breastmilk still comes up as the next best option, over and above artificial formula, as breastmilk is still a living food, and no formula can come anywhere near that.

Wet nurses are amazing!! :flowerz:

[SassyMummy]

I think wet nurses are great.

I do understand why some women would not use them though.

I know that if I could not breastfeed, I'd feel like a failure. I would hate my body for not doing what it's supposed to do. I would hate that I couldn't nourish my own baby.

I would HATE to see another woman nourishing my baby for me. It would just reinforce the "failure" thing to me (rationalise why it's not all you like, when you feel a certain way, you feel a certain way regardless of its irrationality). It could cause me to grow distant from my child - feeling that another woman could do a better job, that I was cr*p and hopeless and that I shouldn't even be raising a child because I was so pathetic.

I could use EBM in a bottle though - but I'd need to be the one giving it to my baby. I think I'd NEED that bonding... to keep me close to my baby. To let me know that I'm NOT a failure and that I DO deserve my baby.

To hand her over to another and watch them do something I could not... it would break my heart and leave me feeling worthless.

[Deserama]

Just wondering -

You know how, we have this special bond when we breatfeed our kids...would the baby then have that same special bond with a wet nurse?

[~Candy~]

I thought they only exisited in London!!...LOL

Nope :no: not for me..it would completely upset me and push me away from my own child if I saw another person nurturing MY baby. I'd rather get hubby to try (re...my thread about men CAN breastfeed too!)

[AM]

Just wondering -

You know how, we have this special bond when we breatfeed our kids...would the baby then have that same special bond with a wet nurse?

I think that is entirely possible, (from things I have read) it would probably depend a lot on the amount of direct wet nursing taking place, as opposed to the amount of time at the mothers breast (none, or some, if say low supply was the issue...) and if she used other attachment techniques as well eg co-sleeping, slinging, lots of skin to skin contact, etc etc.

I think every case would be completely unique.

[Deserama]

See that would be a concern for me.

[Hollywood]

I think that is entirely possible, (from things I have read) it would probably depend a lot on the amount of direct wet nursing taking place, as opposed to the amount of time at the mothers breast (none, or some, if say low supply was the issue...) and if she used other attachment techniques as well eg co-sleeping, slinging, lots of skin to skin contact, etc etc.

I think every case would be completely unique.

And also how long the wet nursing continues for. I know that in our case, the breastfeeding bond has really been strongest from 12 months onwards, and DS just LOVES our breastfeeding times throughout the day.

I would imagine that wet nursing would only really be used for smaller babies, I can't imagine anyone doing that for a toddler as they can have cows milk and solids by that stage.

We cosleep and feed overnight here, so for us the bonding is so much more than just the milk, but i can see how a tiny baby would bond with the wet nurse.....but it would be a bit different considering that the baby would otherwise be with the mother/father the rest of the time.

[Fuchsia!]

I'd rather get hubby to try (re...my thread about men CAN breastfeed too!)

Oh good thinking!

Deserama- I would think they would bond, but it wouldn't be that much different to a husband or a friend bottle feeding a baby.

[Tam-I-Am]

Hey, I've got a question about using donated milk or wet nurse as this has got me thinking.

I think I remember when going to pre-natal classes (about 5 years ago) that the midwife was saying how breastmilk is made espcially for your baby.

That at the beginning the it's mostly colostrum (as this is what a newborn mostly needs) and then the milk changes as your baby gets older.

I could be mistaken, but this is what I thought I heard.

If donating milk or using a wet nurse, would this be an issue?

Would be eally interested to find out if anyone knows:)

Yes - but the alternative being cow's milk derivative (which is in NO way tailored for a human child) will ALWAYS be a poor 2nd to human milk, even if it isn't tailored for that individual child. :)

[KatiesMum]

I just got off the phone to my childless child care worker friend (I've posted about her before). She questioned if my hospital had a wet nurse and why I didn't use her? :confused:

Now I had no idea what she was on about. Apparently they are lactating nurses who can breatfeed your bubs in situations similar to mine (no milk).

Ewww even if my hospital did have a wet nurse there is no way in hell i'd allow some other womans breast milk anywhere near my baby. :no:

Has anyone ever heard of this before?





I wasn't saying it to be nasty. IMO I don't like it. I'm entitled to my opinion, as you are to your opinion. :o

I understand the benefits of MY breastmilk for MY child. I would have given anything to be able to breastfeed BUT I would never give my child someone else's milk.

I might just add that once again a simple question/topic has started a debate and people feel the need to question other peoples different opinions. WHY WHY WHY :hair: There is simply no need for it.

Thank you to all who responded to my question positively :thumbsup:

(my Bold)

Im sorry MumtoChloe but when you post saying EEEEWWWW thats gross, I would never do that .... in relation to something as widely and oft debated as breastfeeding ... what kind of response did you expect?

Honestly - I couldnt b/f, I didnt use donated EBM (and probably wouldnt even if it was available) - but I dont go around starting threads insulting the basic idea and then wondering why people get upset about it.

If you want people to treat you with respect and understand your opinion - try starting with respecting other peoples.

[~Candy~]

(my Bold)

Im sorry MumtoChloe but when you post saying EEEEWWWW thats gross, I would never do that .... in relation to something as widely and oft debated as breastfeeding ... what kind of response did you expect?

Honestly - I couldnt b/f, I didnt use donated EBM (and probably wouldnt even if it was available) - but I dont go around starting threads insulting the basic idea and then wondering why people get upset about it.

If you want people to treat you with respect and understand your opinion - try starting with respecting other peoples.

Sorry, but she has every right to say ewww. To me, it would not only break my heart to see my baby suckling off another woman, but it would also drive a massive break in the bond between mother and baby...each to their own opinions hey!! :)

[Thermolicious]

I would prefer a wet nurse over donated EBM. I would never feed my child formula :barf:.

It shocks me that people would put there own feelings above what was best for their child.

[~Candy~]

I agree she has a right to say ewww.

I find it incredibly sad that she felt the need to though.

I think alot of people find breastmilk disgusting. Its great to see that many people don't.

Its the babies that benefit in the end.

I don't think it's the breastmilk factor...but another person breastfeeding your own child. Some may think it's fine...but other's just find it hurtfull, heartbreaking ect :)

I just want to add...I am an extremely jelous type of person..and too have another women breastfeed my child...I'd probably hold a huge grudge...that is just ME.

[neostudded]

I know what you mean, for me not being able to feed my child breast milk upsets me no matter what.

Giving them formula upsets me more then anything in the world, especially a very young baby with a very immature vulnerable gut. And the extra risks or SID's, E-coli, I could go in to it more but I wont, I don't want to make anyone feel bad.:hugs:

I would move the planets to provide my child with breast milk. I would be forever grateful if there was a lovely amazing caring woman who would be kind enough to be able to help my baby and I in such a heart breaking time of need.

I just really believe in the power of human milk for human babies.

[mum2bubba]

I wouldn't want anyone but me breastfeeding my children either.

JMO

ETA: And its not about the breastmilk (well, not for me anyway) as I'd be fine if I couldn't produce any and had to use someone else's from a bottle, but having my baby latch onto someone else's breast, having them hold him/her, bonding etc it just wouldn't sit right with me.

[V8]

I haven't read all the posts, but i have had someone else feed my baby, i was truly grateful for her to do that for me as i had an exam that was 3hours long, didn't scar or affect my baby at all. I think it's wonderful.

[KatiesMum]

Sorry, but she has every right to say ewww. To me, it would not only break my heart to see my baby suckling off another woman, but it would also drive a massive break in the bond between mother and baby...each to their own opinions hey!! :)

:yes:

and yes - she does have every right to say eewwww thats gross - thats her opinion and she has as much right to it as anyone else - but dont express your opinion in a way that others might find offensive and then wonder why its debated or upsets people.

I dont know if this thread has been 'cleaned' but there didnt appear to be any personal attacks ... just people saying they would or would not use a wet nurse. I just cant work out why she is upset.

[SorenLorensen]

i can understand that some thing its gross. i don't, but i get some do.

personally i would not do it.
both my girls were FF for a number of reasons that are irrelevant to this issue, if i were offered a wet nurse or donated BM i would decline due to personal issues. my issues are not with the whole "another persons milk" but the screening, i have had someone very close to me have a HIV scare due to a blood transfusion (a 'bad' batch of blood went through the hospital). i know screenings are quite good now but the reality of it going wrong is very close to me and that fear has a hold on me.
i would also only have or let my girls have a blood transfusion if it were absolute life or death so im not only against DBM and wet nurses.
that is why formula is my only other option.

im guessing some wont understand my fear and TBH even if i was given a statistics sheet on the overall quality of DBM for the past umpteen years i still coudl not bring myself to do it.



but i do understand mine is MY fear and would never pass it onto anyone else, i would support them.

[Deserama]

Oh good thinking!

Deserama- I would think they would bond, but it wouldn't be that much different to a husband or a friend bottle feeding a baby.

No I feel that the bond that a mother has with her baby when they breastfeed it totally different than when they are bottle fed.

[SmileyBJ]

I could not breastfeed but would never allow another woman to feed DS on my behalf when formula is readily available. I think mothers who cannot breastfeed are already made feel pathetic enough, let alone having to watch another woman take over your role completely.

Bottle feeding does not change or take away a bond between a mother and child.

[SassyMummy]

Hey, I'd like to think I'm some sort of brick wall that can just suck up my own feelings to do what's nutritionally best for my child... but I'm so not.

I'm far too emotion-driven for my own good... rational thought, for me, never occurs when my emotions are involved.

If I was a BFer and had to go away for a short amount of time, I'd be happy for someone else to BF my baby... I guess because I wouldn't feel pathetic, and it would be a choice I'd made, rather than not being physically able to breastfeed and watching on as someone did a better job at nourishing my child than I could.

I'm pretty over-emotional, and in that situation, I might just give up on being a mother altogether... have the whole, "God, I can't even FEED my own child... what a pathetic loser of a mother I must be... might as well hand her over to someone who CAN do something right," kinda attitude. Unfortunate, but true.

[Tam-I-Am]

I'm a bit the same - I'd like to think that in this situation I'd be able to put my own feelings aside and 'allow' another woman to breastfeed my child - but in any more than a once off I don't think I could.

When I was suffering PND, I used to think that the ONLY thing that differentiated me from any number of other people in my DD's life was the fact that I was the source of the milk. If I'd been unable to breastfeed her, I can't imagine what kind of dire straights I might have been in emotionally and psychologically.

I do think these days that I would choose DBM above formula though - and I hope that I would be able to find donors to accomodate my bub's needs too.

[Mathermy]

i can understand that some thing its gross. i don't, but i get some do.

personally i would not do it.
both my girls were FF for a number of reasons that are irrelevant to this issue, if i were offered a wet nurse or donated BM i would decline due to personal issues. my issues are not with the whole "another persons milk" but the screening, i have had someone very close to me have a HIV scare due to a blood transfusion (a 'bad' batch of blood went through the hospital). i know screenings are quite good now but the reality of it going wrong is very close to me and that fear has a hold on me.
i would also only have or let my girls have a blood transfusion if it were absolute life or death so im not only against DBM and wet nurses.
that is why formula is my only other option.

im guessing some wont understand my fear and TBH even if i was given a statistics sheet on the overall quality of DBM for the past umpteen years i still coudl not bring myself to do it.



but i do understand mine is MY fear and would never pass it onto anyone else, i would support them.

I can empathise.
This is my primary issue with it too, not so much with milk banks because I have fair reason to believe that screening processes etc are enough. But when it comes to wet nurses not tied to a milk bank I'm really cautious. You can never know a person's hiv status, even the person themselves is unlikely to know he/she is infected without a blood test.

I think people are still fairly complacent about hiv and think sufferers fit a certain stereotype, rather than thinking that you or I or people we know might be infected. I don't think it's about being untrusting-it's about being cautious.

Just as I would not have unprotected sex without knowing a partner's hiv status, I wouldn't allow another woman to BF my baby without testing.

[LilMissnBoo]

I would feed my child breast milk –my own or donated – over artificial milk any day. The thought of feeding my babies formula is just Ewwwww. :p

PMSL :laughing:

[GirlsOnly]

I think that there are people here who are feeling "attacked" as they believe that they are being insulted by the word EWWW in relation to breast feeding.
I also think that those same people are insulting women who chose to formula feed, for WHATEVER reason.
Ultimately it is the mothers decision how to feed their babies.
I believe breast is best for those who can and want to. In all other cases Formula is fine. Children have lived and thrived for years on both BM and formula.
I dont think the OP was saying Ewww to breast feeding, i think it was in relation to SOMEONE ELSE BFing her baby.
I must admit that the thought of my baby sucking another womans breast, wether it be a stranger or a family member does not sit well with me either. HOWEVER, to those that chose it and are for it, then good on you.
I think that Chloesmum was simply stating her opinion as most of you here have done also.
Stating an opinion is one thing, attacking another persons is another thing entirely.
This is a big forum and there are going to be a wide variety of opinions, we just shouldnt judge others for theirs.
JMO
:ecomcity:

[Silvana]

I am the mother of my child, therefore it is my responsibility to feed my child, whether it be breast milk or formula. I could not stand to watch my baby being fed breast milk, it just wouldn't sit right with me.

I would also like to know why is isn't acceptable to say "eww" about wet nurses, but it is about formula? Sounds hypocritical and self-righteous to me.

Formula feeding mothers deserve the same respect and I am a little sick of breastfeeding nazi's shoving their judgemental **** down everyone's throats. Everyone is entitled to an opinion (we don't live in Iraq people) and everyone is entitled to feed their babies what they wish without feeling like a failure.

[ladybugblue84]

I am currently breastfeeding just fine but the thought of my baby using a wet nurse doesn't sit well with me. It's my baby & I will feed her how I see fit. Watching my baby being breastfed by someone else would break my heart. Formula fed babies often thrive just as well as breastfed babies (premie babies aside) & I think if I was unable to breastfeed I would alternate to formula. I think milk banks are great for people who feel very strongly about the multitude of benefits of breastmilk (which are plentyful) & are truly unable to breastfeed themselved but if I was faced with the option I would just use formula. In saying that I just strived with breastfeeding on my own 'cause I know the benefits & it's my job to feed my baby! JMO :yes:

[SorenLorensen]

gezzz people...sensitive much



I would feed my child breast milk –my own or donated – over artificial milk any day. The thought of feeding my babies formula is just Ewwwww. :p
im a FF mum and not once has this thread offended me.
milliner's post i have taken as a tongue in cheek comment hence the :p in her post.

a lot of people have said they would go a wet nurse or donated BM before formula, so what...that is their preference and TBH if i didn't have my issues with screening processes i would use DBM too if it were available to me.

[naiwen]

If your infant was at high risk of developing NEC which is often fatal and horribly painfull you might not think DBM was quite so ewww.

Although thorough screening processes should be in place IMO

[GirlsOnly]

I am the mother of my child, therefore it is my responsibility to feed my child, whether it be breast milk or formula. I could not stand to watch my baby being fed breast milk, it just wouldn't sit right with me.

I would also like to know why is isn't acceptable to say "eww" about wet nurses, but it is about formula? Sounds hypocritical and self-righteous to me.

Formula feeding mothers deserve the same respect and I am a little sick of breastfeeding nazi's shoving their judgemental **** down everyone's throats. Everyone is entitled to an opinion (we don't live in Iraq people) and everyone is entitled to feed their babies what they wish without feeling like a failure.



:iagree:

[GeorgiaAnne]

Interesting thread. I would definitely prefer dbm, from a boob or bottle, over formula any day.

[Mum&bubs]

I haven't read all the posts, but i have had someone else feed my baby, i was truly grateful for her to do that for me as i had an exam that was 3hours long, didn't scar or affect my baby at all. I think it's wonderful.

Aww, that's so wonderful :)

I've never known someone who's baby has used donated breastmilk or fed by someone else, so it's lovely to see that it is happening.

I can see why people say 'eww' to donated breastmilk, but I can also see why people say 'eww' to formula.

I've never had to be in the situation where I've had to consider someone else feeding my baby, so I think I'm pretty lucky to be able to provide them with my own breastmilk but if it came down to it, I might have used donated breastmilk, or I might have thought it was a bit weird. Not weird about the milk, but the thought of someone cradling my baby and feeding them like THAT I think would crush me.

But breastmilk in a bottle, yep, I'd do it :thumbsup:

[LilMissnBoo]

I've never had to be in the situation where I've had to consider someone else feeding my baby, so I think I'm pretty lucky to be able to provide them with my own breastmilk but if it came down to it, I might have used donated breastmilk, or I might have thought it was a bit weird. Not weird about the milk, but the thought of someone cradling my baby and feeding them like THAT I think would crush me.

But breastmilk in a bottle, yep, I'd do it :thumbsup:


:iagree:

[pinkgingham]

i think breast is best, and i would have breastfeed was i able to but i dont think its a bad thing to feel uncomfortable with the idea of another woman feeding your baby from the breast. i know the thought makes me highly uncomfortable. especially being so disappointed that i wasnt able to breastfeed, because i also see breastfeeding as a bonding thing and i dont want another woman to be doing that with my child. if it were to be expressed to a bottle then it would have to be a good close friend or family member but even then i wouldnt be sure, i dont know what they eat, whether they take drugs etc.

it does border on the ewww for me. *shrug* :cool:



I think that there are people here who are feeling "attacked" as they believe that they are being insulted by the word EWWW in relation to breast feeding.
I also think that those same people are insulting women who chose to formula feed, for WHATEVER reason.
Ultimately it is the mothers decision how to feed their babies.
I believe breast is best for those who can and want to. In all other cases Formula is fine. Children have lived and thrived for years on both BM and formula.
I dont think the OP was saying Ewww to breast feeding, i think it was in relation to SOMEONE ELSE BFing her baby.
I must admit that the thought of my baby sucking another womans breast, wether it be a stranger or a family member does not sit well with me either. HOWEVER, to those that chose it and are for it, then good on you.
I think that Chloesmum was simply stating her opinion as most of you here have done also.
Stating an opinion is one thing, attacking another persons is another thing entirely.
This is a big forum and there are going to be a wide variety of opinions, we just shouldnt judge others for theirs.
JMO
:ecomcity:


great post :thumbsup:

[wildfire]

I haven't read the whole thread, just added to add that I breastfed several babies for other women. One was a pre-arranged when a friend was was having to return to work early, the other was an emergency situation, I was with the woman and she fell very ill and was unable to feed her 4 day old baby and asked me if I could. In both cases it was an honour, and I think it's a beautiful thing to do to help out another woman and help her baby receive the best there is.

Boobs rock :thumbsup:

[wildfire]

GirlsOnly, your post where you describe that babies thrive on formula is just plain wrong. All you have to do is look at the incident in China recently where formula fed babies DIED from drinking contaminated formula. And while this may be an isolated incident, the fact that hundreds of thousands of formula fed babies die every year in 2008 is not to be taken lightly. Formula has been marketed in less devloped countries as equal to breastmilk in years gone and it has led to the deaths of millions of babies.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

But that was contaminated formula.. Not proper formula.
It is the same if a breastfeeding mother somehow contaminated her own milk.

2008 is only one year btw. :)

[pinkgingham]

GirlsOnly, your post where you describe that babies thrive on formula is just plain wrong. All you have to do is look at the incident in China recently where formula fed babies DIED from drinking contaminated formula. And while this may be an isolated incident, the fact that hundreds of thousands of formula fed babies die every year in 2008 is not to be taken lightly. Formula has been marketed in less devloped countries as equal to breastmilk in years gone and it has led to the deaths of millions of babies.

are you serious....?

there is nothing wrong feeding your baby formula. some people like myself are unable to breastfeed and my children did thrive on formula. i find your post offensive. :thumbsdown:

[MilkOnTap]

But that was contaminated formula.. Not proper formula.

And the difference...? How do you know its not contaminated before using it?

What about the contaminated formula in the UK in July? That was made by SMA (who manufacture S26). I'm pretty certain that was 'proper' formula.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

You don't, at all. :no:

Its too easy to accidentally contaminate formula as well.

But it is also possible to do the same to breast milk.

[Naboo]

Geeze! The carry on on this thread seriously makes me question why I bother reading this site? :confused:

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Geeze! The carry on on this thread seriously makes me question why I bother reading this site? :confused:
Geeze.. I don't know why you would bother saying something like that, either. :no:

[Sheer Bliss]

If your infant was at high risk of developing NEC which is often fatal and horribly painfull you might not think DBM was quite so ewww.

Although thorough screening processes should be in place IMO

:iagree: so many people are quick to ewwww things, but there truly ARE situations where you have to get over any ewww factor you have and put your babies life first. I think that's often why people get so offended in threads like this - they are seeing it from their perspective, and to them it looks totally different.

I remember a thread a while ago asking would you use donated EBM. My honest thought was NO WAY. I had no problems with others doing it, and I knew in my head that it was fine, but i just didn't sit right with me. I have now had 2 babies, both 36weekers and in SCN (not NICU, so not as serious as some other bubs). Both were tube feed formula as they needed milk before i could supply it. DD had horrible colic, DS had terrible reflux......the thougth in my head....did the formula destroy the delicate gut flora and did the formula give my babies so much pain? They also didn't gain weight on the formula. DS lost it significantly until day 8 when my b/m came in and he started feeding from me.

Now I am expecting twins, I AM organising donated EBM from a lovely friend, and have had a couple more offer if i need more. It not sitting right with me has changed DRAMATICALLY after seeing in my own babies the benefits of breastmilk and the possible negative effects of artificial milk. I hope to have healthy full-term bubbas an put them straight on my own breast, but they will NOT be getting formula if I can do anything about that.

A wet nurse scares me a little, as I do worry about me being jealous. But I am pretty sure that if it were needed, I would put that aside for my bubbas.

[SorenLorensen]

GirlsOnly, your post where you describe that babies thrive on formula is just plain wrong. All you have to do is look at the incident in China recently where formula fed babies DIED from drinking contaminated formula. And while this may be an isolated incident, the fact that hundreds of thousands of formula fed babies die every year in 2008 is not to be taken lightly. Formula has been marketed in less devloped countries as equal to breastmilk in years gone and it has led to the deaths of millions of babies.
:laughing: are you serious ?
girls only wrote

Children have lived and thrived for years on both BM and formula.and you say it is plain wrong.....

babies HAVE thrived for years on the 2. no where did she say ALL babies thrive on formula.

i really don't understand how you found an issue with it.
in reply to your post i could turn around and say it is plain wrong that she said it about BM too as i knwo babies (and i was one) where breast milk almost killed.;)

were you just looking for some way to chuck in a negative post about formula ??

[SmileyBJ]

What gets me that "I" have never heard any formula feeding mum dissing breastfeeding or degrading a mother for sticking it out. However its sad to see that mothers are so quick to say how shocking formula is for babies these days.

[JabberJaw]

I would happily be or use a wet nurse, donate my milk or use donor milk.

My MIL was a wet nurse years back, she had her own 7 children, plus provided milk for ill children in the Mater Hospital in Townsville. She fed the babies as well as expressed breast milk for babies.

I think it is BM fantastic, not only for the child receiving it, but for the person giving. Takes a special kind of person to be a wet nurse, i personally could happily do it.

A friend of mine, and her sister in law, had children at the same time, one worked days, one worked nights, they fed each others children while the other was at work, they had a side each!

I know it is not the thing for some people, but really we shouldn't run down or belittle people who think that wet nurses or EBM are superior to formula, in the same sentence though, FF mums also should not be belittled. The decision is up to the individual person, and common sense and general courtesy should be given, no matter what their choice.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

What gets me that "I" have never heard any formula feeding mum dissing breastfeeding or degrading a mother for sticking it out. However its sad to see that mothers are so quick to say how shocking formula is for babies these days.
I have unfortunately.

It does go both ways.

I think the least we could do as far as some of the comments on here goes, is keep our incredibly judgemental thoughts off BubHub and in our heads where they belong.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Yup.. Because to tell someone that they shouldn't bash BM is to attack their choice to FF.

But to bash BM in the first place is just opinion. :yes:

Again.. Best kept in your head, really. But I do see an incredibly obvious pattern.

[AM]

The scary reality of formula, as with any man made product, it can be contaminated quite easily, and 'bad' formula is actually a lot more common than people believe, albeit usually in second and third world countries, but on a world wide scale, formula causes far more deaths and health problems than breastfeeding, which is a big reason it is listed as number 4 on the list of 'baby feeding options' recommended by the World Health Organisation (WHO) after breastmilk from mums breast, expressed breastmilk from mum, and then donated breastmilk.

All of those 3 options hold less danger to a babies health than formula does. It's simply a fact, not a judgement.

The book "Breastfeeding Matters" by Maureen Minchin goes into it in quite a bit of detail...

[SmileyBJ]

Well since the facts are so clear on breast is best, Im guessing all FFing mums should be so ashamed for potentially harming our kids each bottle we give them!! :laughing:

[stardance]

Why is this thread still going?!
The question has been answered.....wet nurses do exist! :p

I think i would use one but couldn't be sure...preferably a close family member or friend..
Those poor newborns that get "dumped" I would definitely feed them or any other baby that had no mother or sick mother etc.
I didn't even know you could donate breast milk!
you learn new things every day! :o

[AM]

Well since the facts are so clear on breast is best, Im guessing all FFing mums should be so ashamed for potentially harming our kids each bottle we give them!! :laughing:

I've no idea...I guess every person would have to answer that for themselves... :confused:

[JabberJaw]

In America, wet nurses average wage is $1000 american dollars a week to simply fed a baby.

There is an agency that hires out 'professional' wet nurses.

EBM also can be brought for around $3 per 30 ml there for making it $100+ a day to feed a 6 month old bub.

Alot of the Celebs have wet nurses.

[stardance]

Well since the facts are so clear on breast is best, Im guessing all FFing mums should be so ashamed for potentially harming our kids each bottle we give them!! :laughing:


Breast is best is a fact...(except obviously if mother is sick or has drugs meds in system)
just because a fact is pointed out it shouldn't make you ashamed to feed your child.
Formula made under strict standards in Australia, but as with anything things can go wrong.

Everyone feeds their children,,,there should be no shame in how you do it whether FF or BF.

[~Bec~]

In America, wet nurses average wage is $1000 american dollars a week to simply fed a baby.

There is an agency that hires out 'professional' wet nurses.

EBM also can be brought for around $3 per 30 ml there for making it $100+ a day to feed a 6 month old bub.

Alot of the Celebs have wet nurses.

:eek: Ohhh, I think I could be in for a career change!!! ;)

[SmileyBJ]

Breast is best is a fact..

Well Im a nieve and stubborn mother who doesn't believe the facts of breastfeeding.

[pinkgingham]

Breast is best is a fact...(except obviously if mother is sick or has drugs meds in system)


or if the mother just doesnt have a supply.

[KatiesMum]

Ok - I will say this once -

Facts
Breast milk is Best for Baby (In the absence of medical conditions affecting Mum or Bubs).

Breastfeeding is not easy, lots of Mums have difficulties for a variety of reasons, so sometimes breastfeeding is not best for the family overall. Formula is an acceptable substitute in these circumstances. It is not ideal - but its best option that some Mums have.

Now - this thread was asking about Wet Nurses and donated breast milk.

It is NOT a debate on whether or not formula is the greatest evil inflicted on the world :p - or about attacking Mums who formula feed or Mums who breast feed (or Mums who do both)

Would you / Have you used a Wet Nurse?

Why?
Why Not?

Did you know they existed?

This is not about attacking someone elses choices!!

[Freya]

Well Im a nieve and stubborn mother who doesn't believe the facts of breastfeeding.

Well that is your prerogative.

But if so, why would you feel ashamed? Like if someone said to me not vaccinating my child is harmful I wouldn't even think twice about it because I believe that to be incorrect.

[WorkingClassMum]

Breast is best is a fact...(except obviously if mother is sick or has drugs meds in system)


Please be careful in your assertions

There are a few mothers on here that not only was breast not best, but was actually causing adverse reactions.

In my case my bubs was intolerent to my breastmilk unbeknowst to me. Had I continued bfeeding, my babe would have continued to FTT.

Had I been given enough info. at the start it may have been different. I was unable to detox. my body in time to save bfeeding, but I couldn't. I was lucky that my specialist was able to prescribe a formula that my babe could tolerate.

In the case of my babe, no amount of donated BM or even Wet Nurse would have suffice.

[Phyllis Stein]

I fed my DS my own and DBM until 6mths of age, then a mix of DBM and HA formula since then. The DBM had been expressed and frozen, losing a small, but significant amount of its benefits. I'm really not comfortable with having someone else nurse him, as feed times are very special for us. It has nothing to do with any "ew" factor - I simply don't have any of those kinds of 'issues' with breastmilk. If I had a sister or really close friend who was lactating, I would probably be ok with it though. My solution was to get some of my donors to express a feed the day I picked up the rest of the DBM, and I would feed that to him fresh.


Because one was said with malicious intent with no provocation and the other was said tongue in cheek as a joking reply.

BIG difference. HUGE.

fortunately most people can see that as plain as day. Sorry you missed it.

The other huge difference is that in one case a woman's bodily functions are being denigrated based on nothing but peoples weird hang ups about bodies (I acknowledge the fear of disease, but don't think the "ew" people are stating is referring to something so matter of fact). On the other hand, people saying "ew" about formula are usually doing so from a fairly rational understanding of what is normal and best for their baby. I have mountains of research stored on my computer telling me why formula is an inferior food for babies, which is why I view it more as a medicine. Hardly something I'd want to put into my child, knowing the potential harm it could cause.

:iagree: so many people are quick to ewwww things, but there truly ARE situations where you have to get over any ewww factor you have and put your babies life first. I think that's often why people get so offended in threads like this - they are seeing it from their perspective, and to them it looks totally different.

I remember a thread a while ago asking would you use donated EBM. My honest thought was NO WAY. I had no problems with others doing it, and I knew in my head that it was fine, but i just didn't sit right with me. I have now had 2 babies, both 36weekers and in SCN (not NICU, so not as serious as some other bubs). Both were tube feed formula as they needed milk before i could supply it. DD had horrible colic, DS had terrible reflux......the thougth in my head....did the formula destroy the delicate gut flora and did the formula give my babies so much pain? They also didn't gain weight on the formula. DS lost it significantly until day 8 when my b/m came in and he started feeding from me.

Now I am expecting twins, I AM organising donated EBM from a lovely friend, and have had a couple more offer if i need more. It not sitting right with me has changed DRAMATICALLY after seeing in my own babies the benefits of breastmilk and the possible negative effects of artificial milk. I hope to have healthy full-term bubbas an put them straight on my own breast, but they will NOT be getting formula if I can do anything about that.

A wet nurse scares me a little, as I do worry about me being jealous. But I am pretty sure that if it were needed, I would put that aside for my bubbas.

You are awesome for planning ahead like that! :yelclap:I think your "acceptance" of the benefits of bf is key to your motivation here - I know it was with me. If I didn't really understand that, there's no way I'd have gone down this path. I can easily see the change in my son - his behaviour, poo, skin and eyes etc all improve on days he has a few feeds of DBM after a couple of days without. It's quite dramatic in his case (though I acknowledge it's less so in others).


However its sad to see that mothers are so quick to say how shocking formula is for babies these days.

Firstly, BF is an endangered species in this country for many reasons, one being the lack of support for it in our culture. I think the "ew" factor people have expressed in this thread is inextricable from the broader conditioning we all experience in relation to breasts and their function.

And like I said above, I have heaps of quality research discussing the risks associated with formula feeding. That doesn't mean mums are monsters for FF, not at all! It is painful to hear about the risks, though, when you had either no choice about not BF or no idea of the potential implications of that choice. Information is neutral, but how people process and react to that info is fraught with emotion.

[SmileyBJ]

Well that is your prerogative.

But if so, why would you feel ashamed?

I don't feel guilty at all. Im thrilled my DS is bottle fed and I wouldnt have it any other way.

[Cat13]

I don't know either why this thread is still going and know I'm not helping throwing my 2 cents in but I just can't believe how many tangents a thread like this can go off on and how defensive (and offensive) some replies can be. :hair: -surely something like the following is all the OP was looking for rather than than create a forum for everyone to get on their soapbox??! (says the girl standing on her soapbox :o)

Definitely have heard of a wet nurse before but I think you're friend is misinformed in thinking that you'd find one at a hospital today although it may be possible by private arrangement. Alternately in some areas you can access breastmilk to feed your baby that has beeen donated to milk banks. Historically wet nurses were very common. The only option for a mother unable to breastfeed before the availability of formula. Also often used by the wealthy to save the mother from the 'chore'. And in a tribal situation means designated women can nurse/nanny all the babies while others attended to the day to day chores necessary for survival.

I personally don't find the notion to be a strange one but I'm sure there'd be many others who also think "ewwww"! - it can be a confronting idea in this day and age when it's not something most of us have grown up with as the norm.
And to finish, well done to all mums for making the feeding choice that best works for them and their baby based on their circumstances and the info they have on hand at that time. :yelclap:

[Lissa7]

Oh deary me ladies at the end of the day as long as your baby is fed and healthy it shouldn't matter to anyone other than yourself how you choose to feed them.

I FF DD1 & DD2 after about 6 weeks as BF never came easy to me, however this time with DD3 I am still BF her as I'm finding it really easy and convenient too which is a whole new experience for me. I have been on both sides of the feeding war and honestly it's what makes you and your baby happy at the end of the day.

Unfortunately the world we live in puts so much pressure on us to BF and makes us feel so guilty if we don't I guess at the end of the day yes BF naturally is the preferred choice as it's what nature intended, however in saying that it's bloody hard and doesn't always work.

I know it's taken me 3 goes to get it :rolleyes:

:xmas::xmastree:

[bunintheoven12]

Geeze! The carry on on this thread seriously makes me question why I bother reading this site? :confused:

I completely agree.

Just on the topic though.....I could never let my baby suck from another woman's breast. The thought and image make me sick.

[forbetoel]

Breast is best......Unless the mother is on medication, unless the mother is a using drug addict, unless the baby is alergic to breast milk, unless the mother is not producing much milk..unless, unless, unless, blah blah blah blah blah.... :rolleyes:

I had to stop feeding my son due to medical reasons at 8 months old. I still feel guilty and mourn it. Breast wasn't best in the end for me and bubs, but I am old enough and certainly wise enough to know that when someone says "breast is best' that they are not having a personal dig at me and my choice.

Breast is best. (no disclaimer needed :D)

If you are truly happy bottle feeding, then good on you, but please don't take offence to people who promote breast milk.


Arhhh, the Hub, it never changes. This started off as a anti-wet nurse thread and has now evolved to the usual 'As long as a baby is fed yada yada yada'