Warning - be careful who you trust!

[Sam143]

Well here I am 1 week into my new single life. It has been a struggle to get through each day - I just can't work out why my DF hit me - why did he ruin everything that we had? I can't remember doing anything wrong - in actual fact there is nothing I would not have done for him!!! At court on Tuesday when they were trying to charge him - I looked at him and couldn't even recognise the person I thought that I loved. He looked like a criminal! Since the domestic violence issue I have now found out that he has a lengthy criminal past - including goal time!! What a sad world we live in - who would ever have thought that I should do a police check on someone I was dating. At court his solicitor asked for an ajournment - I wonder if he will be locked up? I will probably feel safer - can't really sleep at night - I am so scared that he will come back to finish the job or to take our son. During the day I am ok but at night I find myself shaking in bed with my ears pricked for the slightest sound worried that I won't be able to get to my son in-time. Worried that the police won't get there fast enough - choosing what I would do first if he came here - grab my son or call the police...

I feel incapable of making decisions - even the smallest thing. How can I trust myself to do the right thing after being so badly betrayed and never seeing it coming? How can I ever trust another human being? He promised me the world - he was everything I ever wanted - my family also thought he was Mr Wonderful... We are all shocked :eek:

I don't know who to trust - people are trying to help me but I just can't trust them...

I am terrified :crying:

I never realised how far I had slipped from my former self whilst being with him until now - I had no idea the imact abuse has on people - it is soul destroying :no:

[Ange&Seth]

Oh :hugs: babe - I don't know the whole story but it sounds horrendous. Do you have anyone you can go and stay with? Can someone stay there with you? Any family close by at all? I didn't check your location, where are you living at the moment?

[Beany]

To put your own mind at ease, get your locks changed (if you haven't already) and get a burglar alarm. Sleep with the phone beside you and, should anything happen, call 000, yell for assistance and run for your son.

Make sure there is no way for your son's room to be locked from the inside.

Make a commotion. As loud as you can. Scream, yell, bang on walls and doors. Run into the street making as much noise as possible. Wake people up.

DON'T HAVE A WEAPON TO HAND UNLESS YOU KNOW HOW TO USE IT! Don't keep a cricket bat or a knife near you, for example: they can be wrestled away and used against you. Don't physically confront him: you will lose. Instead, immobilise him. Smash the tail lights of his car (so the police can catch him in transit).

I doubt any of this will be necessary but planning for every eventuality will help you cope better in the coming days. Take care of yourself.

[*Chels*]

i culdnt just read your post and not reply!!
:hugs: to you and your son.Im so sorry that you are going thru this!!Beany's post was great,def take her advice!!
Is there anyway your son can sleep in your room?I sleep with my son in my bed coz im terrified something might happen to him!!I hope things get better for you soon,and that you have some great family/friends support.
Take care

[bekkyboo]

I have been through similar - so my heart does go out to you. I managed to get out and 6 hours away from my ex, but still at times didnt seem far enough.

Are you still in the same place that you were with your ex? If you are really worried, try and stay with someone else, and then try and move somewhere he doesnt know where you are.

we are all here for you...

[KarniF00l]

First of all, lots of hugs :hugs: :hugs:

unfortunatly i have been in your situation before and all i can say is NEVER again.
I know what you're going threw right now is hell but trust me this will make you ALOT stronger. Beany suggested great advice and i don't think i can add anymore to that.

I wish i could give you real hugs right now.. please stay safe !!! :fingerscrossed: