Grrr Army

[tupper_lady]

Every now and then after months of being the happy "Army Wife" I blow up.

I feel like I am dying inside at the moment. DP is away on course in Sydney and due home next week, we are flying down to meet him and drive back with him. That part is the good.

The part I dont like is that whilst on course they dont work weekends and are free to go out and do as they choose. He has had two big drinking nights out thus far at about $150 a pop while I budget humbly and work my **** of working full time and raising DD3.

Tonight as it is the last weekend of the course they are going out drinking again and he went and bought himself another new outfit and had his hair cut etc. So I am guessing he will blow another 150+ on grog and food, such a waste.

To make matters worse there were only six on the course and for the entire time he has been on course it has been, Kristy this, Kristy that about the girl he was partnered with. He only told me last night that he would stay in contact with her and email etc, and to be frank it peeves me off a little. Apparently they have gone places on weekends to take photos (photography course) and he has only mentioned this to me now. It makes me suspicious to say the least.

Any other mums have any advice as I have a real big case of the green eyed monster and if I dont shake it soon I am really going to either blow up or leave.

I feel as though I get left with bubs, work full time, dont get to bed before 11 and then up at 4:30, while he studies or works away from 7-4 M-F mostly and has all his nights and weekends free.

Im so jealous that I dont get any nights out without question. Am I being too hard on him?

[sharvs]

I dont think you are being too hard on him (says a bitter Army wife!).

My DF is also away & is spending so much money - it's really giving me the s**ts. He said to me the other day "we have to work 6 days a week up here. It's not fair, we only get a 1 day weekend". Hello? I work 7 days a week every week! In the mean time, every spare second they are going into town, drinking, eating out.

With regard to the "friend" he is talking about, I dont think you have anything to worry about. If there was something going on he probably wouldnt have mentioned anything about her. DF did the same to me when he was in Timor - they wrote each other letters all the time & I was ready to kill him. Then I realised it was just because they were going through a similar thing - being o/s, away from family etc. I was (and still am) suspisious as to whether anything happened or not but if you worry too much you go crazy

The only thing that helped me get over it is that she was posted to Vic & we were moving to NSW so I knew they wouldnt see each other again after the deployment.

Do you think the Army puts too much pressure on the guys to go out & drink? I know they are big boys & can make their own decisions, but if they dont go the other guys will give them heaps.

[tupper_lady]

Ithink there is that pressure to go out drinking. Away from the Army places we go he only has one or two and enjoys it far more.

He has said he would much prefer to be going out with me and DD3 but its not much comfort. Your right about forgetting it, it eats away at every thing I do lately, probably on edge as next year we are off to Canberra after 13 long years in Brissie.

[sharvs]

Forgetting it is so much easier said than done - i need to take my own advice!

DF is the same, hardly drinks at all around me but with his Army mates he has to get blind or he wont go out with them.

Just try and remember, DH is coming home to YOU!

Canberra hey? Pack your woolies... I love Canberra, only ever been there on holiday but I would move there in a second. It reminds me of home (Adelaide) - small enough & easy enough to get around.

[MilkOnTap]

DF is the same, hardly drinks at all around me but with his Army mates he has to get blind or he wont go out with them.
Wow - so my hubby isn't the only one who does this? He NEVER drinks more than a few drinks around me... but when he is away on course or OS its not uncommon for me to get an email about his sore head... No sympathy from me babe - you did it to yourself!!!

[sharvs]

They are hopeless!

I've lost count of the amount of times DF has gone out with the boys & said "I'm not drinking tonight". Then walks (actually, make that stumbles in) at 3am drunk as a skunk!

I'm with you Ally, no sympathy, no Maccas for breakfast!

[tupper_lady]

Wow - so my hubby isn't the only one who does this? He NEVER drinks more than a few drinks around me... but when he is away on course or OS its not uncommon for me to get an email about his sore head... No sympathy from me babe - you did it to yourself!!!


I always have a winge as I feel the army promotes getting blind rotten drunk. DH always tells me they have to socialise when on course blah blah blah, why does socialising and army always mean getting totally one hundred percent legless? some thing I am still waiting for DH to explain to me!!!!

DH just got home from course and the last two nights he went out he spent 300 on alcohol as they were also doing shouts! Needless to say I was peeved beyond belief.

Oh and YAY he went back to his normal work unit yesterday and has been told he will be home for four weeks and then away for four months! This is in addition to him going away for seven months Jan 12!!!!! Gotta love that, how can we possibly TTC for our second in the period of a month and then two months at Christmas before he leaves>!

[sharvs]

You're having a rough trot at the moment, Tupper lady.

It is so damn hard on the family, especially with such short notice. There is so much happening around the world at the moment, even the guys that think they arent going anywhere are being put on standy by, ready to go. Now seems like a great time to get out of the Army but I guess its what they all want, to go overseas.

Which unit is your DH with? If thats too much info you dont have to say, no problems.

All I can say is try to make the most of these 4 weeks. DF & I fought every day before he left for pre-deployment training & we both regret it.

:hugs: to you & your family

[wonkey22]

Thank you ladies for starting this thread. I don't often say much out loud or in writing about hubby's military choice in career but holy poo batman do did I get ****ed when he felt the urge to spend $700.00 last month on course on socialising while I was at home with only a credit card because he forgot to leave me the key card..grrrrrr!! Then had to balls to give our keycard to another guy to go out with because they had no money left and they were going to pay us back and to this day haven't. I lived on credit and cleaning out the food cupboard of all the things that are there to the bitter end just to survive while hubby couldn't decided whether to go to the footy in Melbourne or stay on base and relax in the sauna grrrr!!

How do you deal with someone who has been instilled with the attitude that we get paid every fortnight don't stress??

Okay enough from me I'll crawel back under my rock and be silent once again..ahhhh :banghead:

[tupper_lady]

You're having a rough trot at the moment, Tupper lady.

It is so damn hard on the family, especially with such short notice. There is so much happening around the world at the moment, even the guys that think they arent going anywhere are being put on standy by, ready to go. Now seems like a great time to get out of the Army but I guess its what they all want, to go overseas.

Which unit is your DH with? If thats too much info you dont have to say, no problems.

All I can say is try to make the most of these 4 weeks. DF & I fought every day before he left for pre-deployment training & we both regret it.

:hugs: to you & your family


Hey, no not too much info to share. He is with 21 Construction, but at the end of year is going to Public relations unit in Canberraa. Prior to that he was with 2CER, nothing is set in stone and changes all the time which is what I dislike about the army. It can be one thing one day and then different thing the next.

My brother was in for some time too at 6RAR. (He has some sad stories he tells let me tell you)

[tupper_lady]

Thank you ladies for starting this thread. I don't often say much out loud or in writing about hubby's military choice in career but holy poo batman do did I get ****ed when he felt the urge to spend $700.00 last month on course on socialising while I was at home with only a credit card because he forgot to leave me the key card..grrrrrr!! Then had to balls to give our keycard to another guy to go out with because they had no money left and they were going to pay us back and to this day haven't. I lived on credit and cleaning out the food cupboard of all the things that are there to the bitter end just to survive while hubby couldn't decided whether to go to the footy in Melbourne or stay on base and relax in the sauna grrrr!!

How do you deal with someone who has been instilled with the attitude that we get paid every fortnight don't stress??

Okay enough from me I'll crawel back under my rock and be silent once again..ahhhh :banghead:



Great big hugs. I am hoping my DP will grow out of the drinking far too much on course stage, as I did have to struggle for a few weeks whilst he was gone and cleaned the cupboards out too IYKWIM.

Do you get an allotment fortnightly from him? We now have the allotment set up fortnightly and then I have a card for his account just in case so I am not too short, but I only use it in the worst case scenario.

I dont have any advice for that attitude, generally my DP is good until he goes on course. Unless you perhaps can tell him that sometimes army pays do get stuffed up, in 12 years it has happened to us twice and we have had to wait for a whole other fortnight for money.

[MilkOnTap]

I know a guy whose in 3RAR - hes a sniper and jumps out of planes. I think hes loony. Aside from him, all the defence guys I know are navy - though I once dated a RAAF guy; oh and another army guy (grunt)... lol - there was cop in there too...

I much prefer the navy guy though.... :D

[tupper_lady]

I know a guy whose in 3RAR - hes a sniper and jumps out of planes. I think hes loony. Aside from him, all the defence guys I know are navy - though I once dated a RAAF guy; oh and another army guy (grunt)... lol - there was cop in there too...

I much prefer the navy guy though.... :D


Lol their uniforms are much nicer!!!

[MilkOnTap]

Oh yeah! This one time I got him to wear... Oh hang on... R-rated material - better not go there... LOL :D

[sharvs]

My brother was in for some time too at 6RAR. (He has some sad stories he tells let me tell you)

My DF is in 6RAR...... Should I be worried?:D

[hannahizzy]

sounds like you are all married to my husband!!!!!!!!! im sure its only a defence thing because i talk to wives of civies all the time none of which seem to have the same problems as me!!!!

[hannahizzy]

My husband is in 6RAR also!!! although he is currently in Iraq :( not a whole lot of drinking going on over there! hehehehe

[sharvs]

Wow, 6RAR are everywhere at the moment. Which company is your Hubby in? I didnt know 6RAR was going to Iraq at the moment. A friend of mine's hubby is in armoured he he left for Iraq 2 weeks ago - he was in the troop carrier that was bombed late last week - they are all ok though.

My Fiance is pre-deployment training in Darwin at the moment, he leaves for Afghan in September.. PM me, we will chat more.

Sharon

[hannahizzy]

hubby is in support coy heavy weapons or something(hehehe pardon my ignorance) he left 2 weeks ago also, they went to support 2RAR i think