clairbear
24-06-2005, 20:39
I have an adorable little boy who has just turned two. He is mostly easygoing, and very cheerful at home...spends his time happily playing on his own or with his father and/or me, likes dancing, singing, cuddling his soft toys, playing with cars etc., all the normal things. He is talking more and more every day but his language is not as advanced as some kids his age (trying not to compare :o ) I only mention the language thing because maybe it has something to do with this current aggressive behaviour that has made us feel surprised, frustrated, embarrassed and powerless.
Whenever there are other kids in the vicinity he hits them! Friends from mothers group he's seen every week since an infant, kids at playgroup, in the park, out at the museum, anywhere.......boys, girls, older kids....he doesn't discriminate. He initially seemed to be doing it in an innocent experimental way of reaching out without having other communication skills to connect with others. Now I think he is aware it is unacceptable behaviour but does it as a defiant test. I know this is because it gets a reaction (usually mostly from me) I know negative behaviour shouldn't be reinforced with attention, but I cannot ignore it! I never smack him because I believe that only reinforces that it's ok to hit. I calmly but firmly tell him 'No hitting, that hurts", and ask him to give the other child a hug which he usually does agreeably. I try to give the child he has hit lots of attention so that the focus is on them. Even so, he just kept repeating the hitting of a little friend that was over the other day, I picked him up straight away and removed him to his room very firmly, and he lay on the floor crying for a while. But when he came back in the behaviour continued. AAAARRRGGGGGHHH! :mad:
All my years of being an early childhood teacher have come back to haunt me....I never thought I would have a "naughty" child, said I would not tolerate it. HA ! I admit it , I am totally flummoxed :confused: and would be soooo grateful for some tips or even some plain old empathy. I know it's probably just a phase but I need some strategies for dealing with it now. Thanks in advance and sorry for such a longwinded post (vent!)
Whenever there are other kids in the vicinity he hits them! Friends from mothers group he's seen every week since an infant, kids at playgroup, in the park, out at the museum, anywhere.......boys, girls, older kids....he doesn't discriminate. He initially seemed to be doing it in an innocent experimental way of reaching out without having other communication skills to connect with others. Now I think he is aware it is unacceptable behaviour but does it as a defiant test. I know this is because it gets a reaction (usually mostly from me) I know negative behaviour shouldn't be reinforced with attention, but I cannot ignore it! I never smack him because I believe that only reinforces that it's ok to hit. I calmly but firmly tell him 'No hitting, that hurts", and ask him to give the other child a hug which he usually does agreeably. I try to give the child he has hit lots of attention so that the focus is on them. Even so, he just kept repeating the hitting of a little friend that was over the other day, I picked him up straight away and removed him to his room very firmly, and he lay on the floor crying for a while. But when he came back in the behaviour continued. AAAARRRGGGGGHHH! :mad:
All my years of being an early childhood teacher have come back to haunt me....I never thought I would have a "naughty" child, said I would not tolerate it. HA ! I admit it , I am totally flummoxed :confused: and would be soooo grateful for some tips or even some plain old empathy. I know it's probably just a phase but I need some strategies for dealing with it now. Thanks in advance and sorry for such a longwinded post (vent!)