Psychological Bullying

[WorkingClassMum]

Yep - up to the school this afternoon

Two Grade 3/4 kids have persuaded by 7yo grade 1 Ds that he is fat and that he shouldn't eat his lunch.

Thursday he didn't eat lunch - so he got it for dinner - he just said he wasn't hungry

Friday didn't eat lunch - hmmm - weedled it out of him.


AAARRRRGGHHHHHH

My 7yo DS still wears size 2/3 jocks and size 6 shirts for their length - but they swim on him! He's so thin the Dr has even suggested that maybe we should see a dietician to "fatten" him up. Thank goodness our GP understands genetics and that MOTH was the same as a young boy.

So he pointed out to MOTH the two boys this morning - and they're ******* huge!!!!! MOTH said that both boys are very overweight, and tall.

Where do kids learn to do this?

Why pick on my boy?

[LibranTwin]

I'm sorry to hear this... some kids can be such terrors. I hope you have luck resolving the issue and reassuring your little boy. :hugs::hugs:

[CaitlinArai22]

could it be some sort of joke? like we used to call the tall kids "shorty" or the tiny kids "big stuff", maybe they were calling him "fatty" thinking it was funny because its obviously not true, iykwim?

at the time, as kids, we never processed we could hurt someone like that, we were just kidding around you know?

not saying its all right, just that it might have gotten confused?

have you tried talking to the teachers, or the other childrens parents?

[Deserama]

Oh fan-freakin-tastic! That's all your boy needs!!

I know why they do it, but it doesn't make it right. They feel so down about themselves that they need to bring other down with them so that they can feel superior...that's what bullying is about.

I have no idea what you can do...just hope that your influence can overide theirs :(

[Whippet]

Kids can be so nasty. My son has been the victim of this sort of bullying at school as well and it's very hard.

I think they pick on the 'easy' kids (my son can be very sensitive) because they are too gutless to try it on someone bigger than them. If they're big kids then they're clearly struggling with their own weight issues and to make themselves feel better about it, they put it onto someone else. It sucks and blows but that's how kids work sometimes. (Some adults do too!)

I'd approach the school and have these boys spoken to. It's not on and needs to stop as soon as possible. Be relentless and find out what the school plans to do and ask for follow up information.

I feel for you. When my son was going through it all I wanted to do was grab the kid that was giving him hell and give him a mouthful. The best thing though is to make the school aware. I'm sure these bullies are doing it to other kids too so you'll be helping more than just your son.

[subaruforestermum]

This makes my blood boil... BUT there at girls at DS's Kindy, well day care, that do the same thing to kids.... And they arent even at school yet...

An old friends 3 year old (back when DS was born) would watch music videos and dance 'sexily' like the girls on the music videos, and learnt from pay tv, paris hilton and such, what FAT was...and constantly told people they were 'fat'..... Mother thought it was funny...

[pinkgingham]

gosh, i thought only girls did that. at school boys fist fought and it was over and done with. girls like to ***** with your head and make you so screwed up you dont know whats what. i had bullies in school that called me fat and ugly everyday for a year. so for the rest of my life, thats what i have believed. even to this day over 10 years later i have self esteem issues.

gosh i hate bullies. God help anyone that bullies my children. and God help my children if they become bullies. i do not and absolutely will not tolerate bullies or bullying.

i'm so so very sorry this is happening to your DS :(

[Deserama]

Yeh I thought it was a girl thing too...never thought that boys would be like that.

[WorkingClassMum]

could it be some sort of joke? like we used to call the tall kids "shorty" or the tiny kids "big stuff", maybe they were calling him "fatty" thinking it was funny because its obviously not true, iykwim?




No - no joking here unfortunately. It's not just name calling - they've been very specific about telling him that he eats bad food and he's fat and just going to get fatter




They feel so down about themselves that they need to bring other down with them so that they can feel superior...that's what bullying is about.



I suspect that they've got low self confidence as they are very large boys



The best thing though is to make the school aware. I'm sure these bullies are doing it to other kids too so you'll be helping more than just your son.

Yep - up to school this afternoon. :yes:

I've sent a letter to the school today and told them I'll be there at a certain time and the reason why.

I haven't asked for an appointment - I've told them I'm coming and I've now also sent an email.

Another parent has not long rung me (she'd spoken to MOTH this morning)- she has a girl at the school - the same two boys have persuaded her DD she has nits and needs to get all her hair shaved off and have told several other kids that this girl has nits as well, so on Friday no-one would play with her DD.

[Whippet]

Good luck with the school. I'm sure it will go well, most schools these days have a zero tolerance policy towards bullying.

[SassyMummy]

Could it be that this is what people have told THEM and that they're repeating it to your boy (for some reason)?

It could be something their parents say to them, older kids say to them, their peers say to them, etc.

If it makes them feel bad, maybe they figure it'll make your boy feel bad too.

No idea why they targetted your son specifically, but then who knows why anyone is targetted for anything really...

[Mellymoo]

What little buggers !

Sorry to hear what they're doing, little kids can be so cruel. I went through this with my 6 year old DD who is in reception this year. There was this one boy who always used to bully her at school at recess and lunchtime and my constant complaints to the teacher - they did nothing. In the end they shifted my daughter to a different table (they were sitting at the same table) and then my daughter wondered what SHE did wrong, the made her feel like the criminal instead of shifting the trouble maker !!

In the end I could see the teachers doing nothing and at my wits end, I told my daughter if he hit or kicked her again, then she needed to stick up for herself and hit back. In my wildest dreams I would NEVER tell my kid that physical attacks are okay, but when the teachers do NOTHING and your child is upset, what else can you do ? Needless to say, he doesn't bully her anymore, I'm lucky I guess....

My first obviouys question would be - have you spoken to the teacher/s ? If they do nothing, then go to the principal. If he / she does nothing, talk to the parent/s (if you know who they are). If they do nothing, you need to tell your kid to stick up for himself - I'm not saying hitting or anything, but tell your kid to say to the others "It's not okay to talk like that, and I don't want to be around you" or something like that.

I would also sit down and have a talk with your little boy, about how he has to try to ignore those comments, and I guess try to instill more self confidence in him - and it's okay to eat well without the guilt of what those little buggers said in the back of his mind.

It's hard I know, I was also bullied at school and I don't want my kids to go through that and I am very protective of anyone that says anything to upset my kids.

I wish you luck and lots of hugs !!:fingerscrossed::hugs:

[mum2bubba]

No wonder so many parents choose to homeschool.

[Ashleigh<3]

Not suggesting you'd respond this way but it's definitely a better option to resort to the Principal, Teachers, as you have, you're doing the right thing.

I went to a couple different schools and I had witnessed on a number of different occasions, Parents coming into the school grounds, taking it up with the bullies themselves. I've even witnessed Parent's bashing students and Teachers all because their child was 'bullied', so they figured bullying back was smart.
I'm definitely, not assuming this is what you'd do. :p

So sorry to hear, I hope your boy is okay. :(

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

Oh thats awful I hate bullying, and it can do so much damage.

The best thing would for these boys to be educated about bullying and why what they are doing is wrong and damaging.

I hope the school does whats necessary and they apologise to your boy and the other girl and admit they were wrong.

[Dannielle]

That's terrible. I hope the teacher sorts it out.

DD1's teacher has had to do 3 class talks this year about how bullying wont be tolerated etc. It seems to work for my DD for a little while. She just did another talk to the class recently and we are hoping that it will put a stop to it for the rest of the year. Then, we really hope she will stop completely when they are in different classes next year.

She was bothering DD again recently. Not bullying but following her etc and wouldn't leave DD alone. But not actually doing anything apart from being a pain in the you know what. (But only a few days after saying some awful things and DD just wanted to be away from her) DD turned around and said "can you please leave me alone". And it worked!:yelclap:

We are keeping a close eye on DD at the moment as she was also told she was fat recently. She has been told she is ugly too among other things including trying to continously steal friends away. Always the same girl. I think it's jealousy.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Oh fan-freakin-tastic! That's all your boy needs!!

I know why they do it, but it doesn't make it right. They feel so down about themselves that they need to bring other down with them so that they can feel superior...that's what bullying is about.

I have no idea what you can do...just hope that your influence can overide theirs :(
:iagree: How awful for your little boy...

[bronny-jane]

Could it be that this is what people have told THEM and that they're repeating it to your boy (for some reason)?

It could be something their parents say to them, older kids say to them, their peers say to them, etc.

.

my thoughts too, hope you got it sorted

[WorkingClassMum]

The principal got DS to pick the kids out from the school photo's, and by what was said/not said I figure that the boys have been doing this for a while

DS also had a chat to the school nurse. The nurse is quite happy that there's no long term problem and that all what we've said to DS has seemed to settled DS's mind

The school offered mediation, but I've declined as DS wasn't the problem.

The boys will be referred to an intervention program and made to write a letter of apology to both kids



OH BTW :xmas::xmastree::noel::reindeer::snow: