Rough child at Mums' Group.

[siansmum]

Just interested to know how others might deal with this situation:

Yesterday at Mums' Group, one of the other 2 year old girls, pushed my little one in the face to get her out of the way. There was food on the table and my little girl was standing at the table ready to reach for something when this other child came up to the table, pushed DD in the face and tried to get food off the table. My instant reaction was to just say, "(Name), that's not very nice", but I just called her name instead. Her mum wasn't at the table, but the other mums saw it. Later on in the morning, the same rough child grabbed another child around the neck and pulled her to the ground. Both times, my little girl and the other child, were in tears, and both times, the roughie wasn't disciplined.
I know my child is no angel, but I can honestly say that she has never pushed anyone else in the face or grabbed them around the neck, and if she did, she'd be disciplined for it. My little girl has some delays, so she isn't to the stage where she would defend herself. It broke my heart to see her being hurt and I was really angry that this roughie got away with her behaviour twice.
If it happens again, what should I do? My instant reaction next time I think, would be to pack up and go home (not so easy though if Mums' Group is at our place that week!). I don't want to lose a friend or ruin relations in the group, but I also don't want to see my little girl being hurt and bullied for no reason.
Any thoughts/suggestions would be welcome!

[mum2bubba]

This has happened to my kids. I usually just tell the other child to not hit/push or whatever. And say to my own kids to move away from them if theyr'e not going to be nice.

It sh!ts me when parents don't discipline their kids when they're little bullies. They turn a blind eye.

[MW&S]

We have a little boy like that at our group. DD has learnt to stay away from him & I don't speak to the mother. Only b/c she does nothing! And he is very very rough with all the kids.

[sam's mum]

you said that the mum wasn't there the first time, so they couldn't have done anything about that, were they there the second time?

maybe have a meeting/conversation between all the mums and talk about what everyone wants to happen if a kid does something but their parent is there to see.
eg
1 - timed out by one of the parents that are there
2 - taken to their own parent and their behaviour explained

just bring it up as a general thing, say that you saw it on tv or something...

[Mumtotwokids]

This is a tough one as it brings up differing styles of parenting, but remember they are only two year old's and they are too young to be branded ' bullies' I think that is a bit harsh given their ages. They don't have the tools of language or cognitive abilities to understand what their actions are doing at this age.

However, all children should be taught what the boundaries are and hitting other children is not acceptable. A gentle reinforcement of this would be appropriate "Childs name, no, we don't push/kick/punch you will hurt someone" and then I would remove the child from being hurt. I won't be comfortable with other parents giving my child time out.

I have been in both situations (pushed and pusher) with my children, one is more social than the other and I absolutely cringed every time my second child did this, as my first did not do this at all. But my 'pushy two year old' was not bad, or a bully, their behaviour was inappropriate and it took a lot of reinforcement of the rules and removing of my child before their behaviour became socially acceptable and had better language skills at 3.

I agree with Sams mum and raising it as a general discussion would be more beneficial than targeting the mother who may not know what to do. A general discussion will raise what each parents discipline expectations are. You could also link in what your group are going to name private parts - we had this a general topic in our mothers group and it was interesting for all of the different names we would use.

Good luck and I hope their are not too many more incidents.