View Full Version : Worries
I have just joined and am delighted that there is somewhere other than midwifes to talk to.
I am a mum to a 8 year old and am 6 months pregnant. I am now starting to get all these niggling worries in the back of my mind, like my baby being blind or deaf.... sounds silly probably but didnt want to say anything to my family or friends because i dont think that they will understand..
Am i being silly?
I am a first time mum so I am not pretending to know everthing - but personally I don't think you are normal if you don't have these (or similar) concerns at some time during your pregnancy :o I think we all do - even if some don't want to admit it.
My husband's family have some history of learning difficulties and birth defects so I was always a little concerned. We thought about having some genetic testing done before we got pregnant - but then decided that we wanted to have a baby anyway...so if faced with some % chance we would probably go ahead and try..and opt for some extra tests during pregnancy. Of course once we got pregnant, we realised that we wanted the baby so badly nothing would stop us...so only had the normal tests everyone has. Lachlan is now 4 1/2 mths old, seems perfectly healthy (and gorgeous! :p ) and has no signs of any problems.
Everyone - family history or not - has some chance of some problems so really we are all taking some element of risk (that might sound silly to some but that is my personal opinion).
I also recall (as we have cats) some insensitive person at work talking in front of me when I was pregnant about toxoplamosis (spelling) and how they knew someone whose baby was born blind because of cats...I had had tests done but they were ok....anyway that got me worried for a few weeks! :(
I have rambled on...just so you know you are only normal to have these worries - and the now non-pregnant person who is a little more rational (and I can still remember how irrational pregnancy can make you ;) ) must say to you......what is the point in worrying yourself sick now?? You are growing a precious bundle of joy inside you that you will love and cherish no matter what!
Thank you for your email.... its has made me come down to earth so to speak... ;)
And you are right... i have this precious little girl inside of me growing and I we will love her no matter what..
Im counting the days until i can hold her in my arms and give her the long awaited kiss...
I too am a expectant mum - 18 weeks pregnant and have been having awful thoughts and concerns about the baby and my labour. We opted to not get the 12 week ultrasound and tests done as I decided it would not matter what the results were, now that I am coming to my 20 week ultrasound I am terrified that something may be wrong...and then on top of that I am parnoid that I am going to have a C Section or even worse die in labour.....My husband thinks that I am worrying too much and wonders why I always am thinking the worst...I thought that maybe I was the only person who had such concerns...it is nice to know that I am not the only one......Not saying that if anything is wrong with our little one it will be a problem, as our love will still be the same regardless....
18 weeks pregnant
I don't want to trivialise your concerns - but try to put them in perspective :) . You've chosen a great time to be pregnant. We have great prenatal, labour and newborn baby care now and we understand so much more about potential problems that we did only 30 years ago. The chances of you or your baby having serious problems are very low. Even if you had to have a c-section, it would be because that is the safest option for both you and your baby and at the end of the day the only important goal is that you and the baby are happy and healthy (and how you get there is not nearly as important).
My view on the prenatal tests is that I wanted to know about any potential problem with my baby. I don't think I would have terminated, but I wanted to know as early as possible if the baby did have a problem so that I could prepare. Tests can be alarming (I had a friend with a bad nuchal fold result who endured weeks of worrying before an amnio showed she was carrying a perfectly healthy girl), but I would want to know of a problem before the baby arrived. If it is really concerning you, can you have the test done at 20 weeks to put your mind at rest?
I think it is a normal reaction to pregnancy to have some concerns prior to delivery, especially if it is the first baby.
Prior to the birth of my son - from about 30 weeks onward, I also stressed about his health. We had suffered a miscarriage the year before which certainly caused us to be hesitant in getting too attached this time (although of course, we still did).
We had the Nuchal fold test at 12 weeks which indicated low risk of any problems as well as an OB who confirmed that any major issue should have been identified in either the 12 or 18 week scans.
In delivery, our son's heart rate dropped to 50-60 bpm during every contraction, he was posterior postion and not engaged even when I was fully dilated. Labour progressed so quickly that we hardly had time to think (active labour only 4 hours). I had a vacuum ext which brought him out quickly to find that the cord was wrapped around his neck twice.
All of our worries faded however when he was handed to us - a beautiful healthy boy. We are blessed and would do it over again in a second.
Take time out - don't worry - just enjoy it - it's a magical time.
All the best.
Like everyone else I worried myself silly during my pregnancy. I was 38 when our baby was born so not a young mum which added to my concerns. I had the Nuchal fold test at 12 weeks and found out we had a one in 109 chance of Downs. Not sure what we would do we had the CVS which has a slight chance of miscarrage, just to be sure. Within 1/2 hour of getting home I started bleeding - bad. Rang the OB and ended up in hospital for a day or so.
Our little boy, Adam, was born at 39 weeks - perfectly normal. At 17 weeks he is sleeping through the night and thriving... but I still worry!! But most importantly I enjoy him...
Try not to worry (I know, easier said than done), enjoy your pregnancy - and look forward to the reward at the end!! Nothing beats it!! :)
Just wanted to add my two cents.
Remember that alot of the concerns you have and feelings are hormones playing up too. Its doing alot of work at the moment so a rush of hormones around the body is bound to leave us feeling and thinking the worst.
And once your beautiful baby is handed to you nothing else matters, everything just fades away and the beauty of bringing a life into the world takes over.
Enjoy and just go with those hormones, be happy when you feel like this;; you can say yay my body is working good; my hormones are going nuts and thats because Im pregnant and its doing its job its a good sign
I can say I had the same worries, maybe perhaps because I had lost a baby previously, I kept thinking something would be wrong, that my body was not good enough to keep a baby and if it did it would have something terribly wrong :(
But my baby was born healthy and perfect! :)
just thought I would let you know that this is all normal, and it doesn't stop after you've had your bub either.
I have had 5 now and I can tell you that even when I was preg with #5 I still had terrible worries, and when I was 20 weeks and had felt no movement straight away I was panicing that there was something wrong.
All I can suggest is that you try and relax a little and enjoy your pregnancy.
Aren't we just the biggest worry warts... Heres a little story I can share with all of you... In my first pregnancy at about 28 weeks my heart went so fast with palpitations (200+) bpm, I had this happen a couple of times early on in my life... So I always knew something was wrong, had been to the doctors a couple of times with him only to tell me that I was having panic attacks... I never had it again, and gave birth the day after my due date, My baby was perfectly healthy... 6 months later my heart once again went crazy(almost 300 bpm) Was raced to hospital and found out I had a fast and irregular heartbeat called Wolf Parkinson White Syndrome, Layed up for about 5 months and fasttracked (spelling) up the waiting list at the Prince Charles Hospital in Brisbane, Had an Operation, Which is called Radio frequency ablation, where catheters are inserted into your groin up to your heart and a wire is then inserted and burns(ablates) the extra pathway which was causing this problem(to cut a long story short)... Anyway, since having this operation I have given birth to another beautiful baby with no problems and no palpitations... Isn't technology great!!! So I think it is perfectly normal for us to worry, I told my husband when we accidentally fell pregnant with Lily "I was going to die, I can't have this baby"... Boy I am glad I did... Oh and the moral of the story is, If there are some things worrying you, take some tests, just to put your mind at ease... After all it's your right... Oh and 1 more thing, enjoy your pregnancy, no matter what, It's the best... :)
I had a period of worry - mostly at the 16 weeks stage, before I could feel the baby move.
Altho' I'm an older first time mum to be, we chose not to have any invasive tests - I was worried about the risk of miscarriage (slight, but there), and also I couldn't terminate just because a baby wasn't "perfect" (there is also the chance of terminating a perfectly normal baby because of false positive results).
Since my 20 week scan I've relaxed a lot - no abnormalities showed up - also I've been feeling and seeing lots of movement, which eases my mind.
Even tho we might feel silly for worrying about how our baby will turn out, it has to be good for us to have a plan ready in case we don't have a picture perfect baby - life always has little surprises for us. But there is no use in spoiling the whole pregnancy experience worrying about something that may not happen either.
This special time - make the most of it and revel in it - we all know people who'd love to have kids and can't - we are lucky no matter what happens. Best of luck with everything!
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