View Full Version : anti breastfeeding
bronny-jane
17-05-2006, 12:10
you know what i think im anti breastfeeding. im not sure what it is that makes me so uncomfortable about it, but it makes me feel akward.
when im talking to a mum and she whips out her breast to feed her baby, i feel like i cant continue the conversation.
im not sure why i feel this way, am i the only one who does?
if you feel this way can you put your finger on the reason why?
bronny-jane
17-05-2006, 12:13
just want to point out im not starting this to offend anyone, im just curious to see if i can figure out why i feel this way.
if you breastfed your baby, were you completly comfortable with it at first, or did it take time to get used to it.
bronny-jane
17-05-2006, 12:15
You're a prude?
probably:D
i think i'd like to try and bf this baby, but would like to get over these feelings first
The BubHub info page on breastfeeding is a great place to start:
http://www.bubhub.com.au/infobreastfeeding.shtml
The Australian Breastfeeding Association will be able to give you advice too. :thumbsup:
Ange&Seth
17-05-2006, 12:24
Hi Bron :wave:
before I got pregnant, I thought I wasn't going to b/f. Then I fell pregnant, and all of a sudden, my breasts changed in my opinion. That sounds weird hey? Let me try and explain.
Before I was pregnant, my breasts were just there, not really doing anything except filling a bra, and during sex, they were there for pleasure. After I fell pregnant, they now had a purpose. Does that make sense?
While I was pregnant, DP wasn't allowed to touch them at all or with any part of his body. It was like they were now bub's, and an important part of his life, no longer an important part of my partner's.
Not sure if I've explained myself properly but do you think this might be a part of the problem?
Breastfeeding isn't something completely natural
it has to be learnt
I guess i found it uncomfortable at first
with my daughter
but at the end of the day
it is how i feed my babies
artificial feeding isn't right to me
though i understand it is necessary for some babies
If you can feed your baby for free
at any time and at any place
at the right temperature
why not?
I understand that ppl may be uncomfortable with me feeding
but baby is more uncomfortable if I don't
and I hate to hear a baby to cry
Don't you?
bronny-jane
17-05-2006, 12:30
if the baby has problems latching on, do you think it would be to much of an effort expressing milk and feeding the baby with a bottle?
i think im going to give it a go, i hate getting up in the middle of the night to make bottles.
Ange&Seth
17-05-2006, 12:35
we had a breast pump even before bub was born but then bought a more expensive one afterwards. If you're going to buy one, get a Medela electric double pump if you can find one cheap. eBay is great!
I used to express every day. Primarily so that DP could share in the feeding process but also to try and keep my supply up.
I think it's a great idea!
if the baby has problems latching on, do you think it would be to much of an effort expressing milk and feeding the baby with a bottle?
i think im going to give it a go, i hate getting up in the middle of the night to make bottles.
That is why I would hate to bottlefeed
making bottles:eek:
If you have problems latching on,
get as much practical help as possible
The best advice I can give you, that has helped me;
PUT AS MUCH OF YOUR BREAST IN BABY'S MOUTH
Then it wont hurt
and baby will get enough milk
bronny-jane
17-05-2006, 12:49
im going to try it and see how it goes, if i cant bf then i'll express the milk, formula does annoy me, especially when you run out
Oscar's mum
17-05-2006, 12:50
if you breastfed your baby, were you completly comfortable with it at first, or did it take time to get used to it.
It definately took time for me to adjust to. But here I am still breastfeeding a 14 month old!
And as Kymmy said it takes practice too! The more practice you have the easier and more comfortable it will become for you!;)
I use to be like that I wasn't anti BF but would feel very un-comfy should I see someone feeding or whipping out a boob I still do I think there should be a level od discrection when feeding..and I am no prude I just think people should think about others as well.
I do BF and in public I cover up + I just bought some kick a$$ bf t-shirts even if we have people over I cover up..for their sake as well as mine I don't wanna show off my dinner plate size nipples and I am pretty sure they don't want to see them :D
It really didn't take much to adjust for me after every man and his wife came to check my feeding in hospy lol
gl in trying it's a wonderful thing if you can and want to do it:thumbsup:
I do BF and in public I cover up + I just bought some kick a$$ bf t-shirts even if we have people over I cover up..for their sake as well as mine I don't wanna show off my dinner plate size nipples and I am pretty sure they don't want to see them :D
It really didn't take much to adjust for me after every man and his wife came to check my feeding in hospy lol
gl in trying it's a wonderful thing if you can and want to do it:thumbsup:
What b/f tops you got?
I think it is good to have at least one
I have a lot
My fave is the Pop Top by Harriet Bear
I'm uncomfortable with talking to people who are breastfeeding.. and I'm trying to find a sling so I can discreetly breastfeed and not be one of those who whips out a boobie.... I'll see how I go (but in the meantime I won't arrange any outings with you BJ)
Also, I don't want to hijack the thread - but Kymmy.. why do you press enter randomly in the middle of sentences?
Also, I don't want to hijack the thread - but Kymmy.. why do you press enter randomly in the middle of sentences?
Sorry just a habit
from other forums I have been on
that ultra wide
Is it annoying?
I have heard the slings aren't good with older bubs cos
they like to play with it
so you are exposed...:cool:
yeah, 'tis a bit :o
Just that the box wraps the sentence so there's no need to on here :)
yeah, 'tis a bit :o
Just that the box wraps the sentence so there's no need to on here :)
True but I like to do it that way
I wont pick on you for having an avatar
That is annoying
I have heard the slings aren't good with older bubs cos
they like to play with it
so you are exposed...
I have 2 glamourmom tops and just a t-shirt by first beginnings I think
True but I like to do it that way
I wont pick on you for having an avatar
That is annoying
wow, that kinda defeats the purpose. :rolleyes:
Re: Slings with older bubs, how older is older? I'm going back to work when Wee Nugget is 6 months so.. :/
True but I like to do it that way
I wont pick on you for having an avatar
That is annoying
no, writing everything in prose is much much more annoying ;)
bronny, good one you for planning to give bf a try, hope it all works out for you! :)
Ana Gram
17-05-2006, 13:19
I wouldn't say you are a prude Bronny, if a mother whipped out a breast while I am talking to her without warning me, I wouldn't be carrying on the conversation either.
whips out her left breast..
soooo carry on :D
sunnyflower
17-05-2006, 13:24
re kymmys prose,if it annoys you so much don't read it-i mean come on guys get a life
re kymmys prose,if it annoys you so much don't read it-i mean come on guys get a life
thx:smiliedance:
Ana Gram
17-05-2006, 13:28
whips out her left breast..
soooo carry on :D
I can't actually see you, so it's not an issue:)
Ana Gram
17-05-2006, 13:29
re kymmys prose,if it annoys you so much don't read it-i mean come on guys get a life
Usually try not to, thanks for you input.
do you BF at the computer DM?
How do you do that. I must learn.
ohh but i have a live internet feed for all BF perverts :p NOT
yeah i am feeding her + typing with my left hand lol
With practice you b/f doing many things.
Oscar's mum
17-05-2006, 13:34
ohh but i have a live internet feed for all BF perverts :p NOT
yeah i am feeding her + typing with my left hand lol
Talented!:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
ohh but i have a live internet feed for all BF perverts :p NOT
yeah i am feeding her + typing with my left hand lol
truth be told, it's another reason that I want a sling :p
Oscar's mum
17-05-2006, 13:37
Wait till you are still breastfeeding at 12 months old at the computer and they turn around and start typing away too! With nipple still in mouth!:laughing:
When Eliza isn't staring at me like I am the best thing since silced bread shes looking the monitor lol
sorry hijacking the thread
swaps boobs
my boy likes to kick the keyboard...
Ana Gram
17-05-2006, 13:50
When Eliza isn't staring at me like I am the best thing since silced bread shes looking the monitor lol
sorry hijacking the thread
swaps boobs
Only just realised who I am talking to. Will you people stop changing your bloody user names!!!! It is so confusing!
MrsMiggins
17-05-2006, 14:04
if the baby has problems latching on, do you think it would be to much of an effort expressing milk and feeding the baby with a bottle?
i think im going to give it a go, i hate getting up in the middle of the night to make bottles.
My bub had massive problems latching on & it caused me excrutiating pain & a couple of bouts of mastitis. I desperately wanted to breastfeed, so decided that I would express & feed her EBM from a bottle. It is a pain in the butt, I can tell you!
It is really difficult to find time to express if you are wanting to do it for every feed. It is also time consuming in that you then have to find time to clean & sterilise the breast pump each time you use it and then all the bottles.
As much as I wanted my DD to have BM, in the end it was just too difficult & too much inconvenience on everyone's behalf to express. I ended up just going onto formula.
Rainbowbrite
17-05-2006, 16:06
Wait till you are still breastfeeding at 12 months old at the computer and they turn around and start typing away too! With nipple still in mouth!:laughing:
Its fun isnt it :laughing:
Back on topic, i'm still bf & MJ's 1 tomorrow. But while pg i didnt want to bf, i could think of nothing worse...BUT with practice & many tears, we persisted & are still going strong :smiliedance: If i'm out with friends, I always ask them if they mind if i bf... if they said no, i'd either use a muslin wrap to cover, not that you can see anything or go to a parents room.
I just wanted to add to the EBM discussion:
1. Expressing and feeding does take a lot of time and effort. DD1 didn't latch on properly for many weeks and if DH had not been at home for the first 5 weeks to feed the baby while I expressed (after having tried to latch her on for 20 minutes), I do not think I could have done it. Feeding a bottle and then expressing one takes a bit of time and a newborn requires alot of attention apart from that.
2. In addition, while expressing+BF can build your supply, many ppl cannot maintain a supply by expressing alone, your supply might drop to nothing during the first 1 - 2 months.
I'm not trying to discourage you from BF at all, just trying to say that while feeding by EBM is better than formula, it is not an easy solution to your problem either. I took about 3 months before I was comfortably BF and while it was a hard 3 months, in the end it was much simpler/more beneficial to her than FF would have been and worth the persistence.
You can BF discretely with special tops or wraps (not all of us just uncover and flop it out :D ), so there shouldn't be anything to embarass you or to offend anyone else. I really think its worth a lot of effort to get BF working for you.
(and please understand: when I say all of this, by no means am I saying that I think that ppl who bottle feed didn't try hard enough. I am only saying that I think it worth investing a lot of effort into it before you admit defeat, because it really can pay off if you can make it work)
whatwasithinking
18-05-2006, 13:47
Whilst pregnant with DD#1 I was adament I wasn't going to BF. DH on the other hand was adament I was going to BF. And I couldn't stand up to him so "he won"
I tried to BF for 3days in the hospital (very uninterested I was).
When I got home I expressed and feed her that way but was still angry at being forced to BF. So I gave up and went on formula.
I got so much flac from people in my mothers group and strangers for not BF but I didn't care.
When pregnant with DD#2 I thought OK I might give it a go so I read up and asked BF mothers heaps of questions.
Anyways I gave it a good go for about 5wks and then felt it wasn't working so I again went to formula.
My main concern about BF was how was I to do it in public or in front of people when I had 16F size boobs (and getting bigger by the minute when my milk came in). People told me "It will be easy" "You'll learn" and all that jazz.
I tried to feed in public but it was like Mission Impossible to be discreet and I was getting sick of having to go into the baby rooms in shopping centres (they were often not clean and well why should I have to "hide" when feeding my baby and also trying to feed and keep a 3yr old amused at the same time was just too hard).
I don't regret not BF nor do I regret trying.
I will never in my entire life critise any mother with whatever decision they make on how to feed their own baby. After all it is the MOTHER'S choice (and alot of the times actually the BABIES choice).
Anyway that's my two cents worth today.
You will know how you feel and you will make the right decision for your baby.
I hate when ppl offer to put me away when I am feeding.
Its true most parents rooms are disgusting and not clean.
If they were comfortable I would rather feed there.
But its not always quiet with older kids too.
Just have to do your best.:)
I think what ever is best for bubs at the end of the day. Whether it be BF or bottle.
I dont have an issue if someones BFing in public or in front of me, I believe that is their main purpose & its the best for my bubs so wouldnt expect anyone to give me a hard time over that the same way that I wouldnt give them a hard time for whipping a bottle out.
I agree with discretley BF in public & this is what I do to the best of my ability, but if my baby needs to be fed Im not about to deny her it because someone has a problem with it. The only other option is to limit my outings to 2 hours long from the moment I leave home (unrealistic), squishing my baby into the car in the carpark or starving my child. I dont think so.
My DP had a brother die from cot death and I nearly lost my little sister to the same thing, if BF lowers the chances of this happening then that is what I am going to do. There is def the convenience thing but I do it and persisted at it because of all the pro's for my babys health.
While talking to someone who is BF I dont sit and stare at their breast, our conversation is face to face.
I think that it is the mothers right to decide what is best for their baby. No one should be judged or shoved into a corner for which ever decision they make.
Bronny I think it just comes from the way we were brought up and things we have seen or been used to seeing as to what we are comfortable with. If you want to give it a go good on you, your baby can only benefit. If you decide you want to bottle feed, Im sure your baby will be fine. Goodluck which ever way you go ;)
cheezelkat
23-05-2006, 14:54
I first hated the idea of breasteeding. But I educated myself. When bubs was born, I HATED it. I would cry everytime he had a feed - however - the hospital refused to discharge me until I was confident I could do it and booked me into a breastfeeding clinic. I had a bad latch and really sore nipples, but by using nipple shields and with help from the ABA and a LC, I'm still comfortably breastfeeding 4 months on and love it. Its our "special" time. I nurse at the keyboard, in bed, watching telly...its always comfy!
Feeding in public? No problem. - I use a musin wrap though to cover as Liam gets distracted and keeps popping off to look around :laughing: Women were born with breasts as a primary purpose to feed their offspring, not for sexual gratification. Anyone who has a problem with it is more than welcome to look anywhere else.
SassyMummy
24-05-2006, 00:37
When I was pregnant I decided I was going to breastfeed - mainly because it's free and that everyone was telling me that breast was best (while inferring that bottle-feeding was what "bad mothers" did).
When DD was born, I wasn't in the best of moods. I had been angry for the past 2 weeks prior to having DD because she was late (by 2 weeks) and I was even angrier that I had to have a c-section as a result of her not coming out (even after 3 attempted inductions).
I was also utterly exhausted and sore and just generally feeling sorry for myself.
DD would always fall asleep whilst breastfeeding when I was learning. All she did was suck three times and nod off. The midwives were quite annoyed and would wake me up, harrass me and generally annoy the hell out of me and MADE my breastfeed when they decided it was time that I should do it. I was angry because IMO my daughter would let me know when she was hungry and then I could act accordingly.
I had all sorts of people bothering me about it (some were helpful some were just frustrated and therefore angered me)...and I finally got the hang of it (in the football position only).
I went home, armed with that, and breastfed for about 3 weeks. During that time, DD would whinge and cry to feed SO MANY TIMES a day...and whilst she was feeding she'd be on there for about an hour (or sometimes more). Then she'd sleep for an hour and would cry for more again. SO IRRITATING.
I also didn't like the sensation of breastfeeding. It stung. I never had cracked nipples or anything...but I just didn't like the feeling. Like pins and needles the whole time I breastfed...it was so uncomfortable.
It was suggested to me that she wasn't getting enough milk from me. I questioned the CHN and the doctor but they said she was getting enough. Still - since all she did was drink all day long, I decided to test out a bottle one night. Bought a sachet of Karicare Gold Infant Formula and gave her a bit. That was the first night she slept through.
Obviously...I slowly switched to formula full-time.
I think that formula feeding works for some mothers...while breastfeeding works for others. (or a combo of the two).
Next time I want to breastfeed (attempt to again) because I sometimes miss that feeling I got when my daughter was feeding from me. Still - I also love formula because it means bub is fuller for longer and that I'm not hte only one that can feed her (actually, she fed herself from about 4 months anyway...).
I dont agree with anyone who say bottle feeding is what bad mothers do and one should never judge a book by its cover....most times there is a good reason why the bottle is being used .
Its definitely important that baby develops good feeding habits otherwise it can be draining. My DD2 was feeding every 3 hours day or night right up until almost 5 months. She also would nap at the breast. I found by not making her too snuggly and stimulating her while feeding that she would then feed properly. I started at 5 months to get up and resettle her without a feed at night and now she is still breastfed but sleeps 5-7 hours waking for just the 1 feed per night so Im not as exhausted as I once was. I cant function on 4 hours broken sleep per night.
I too felt the pins and needles but it was only when I let down and I found it reassuring to know that at that exact time she was getting something from me, but I was lucky it would stop and not continue for the whole feed.
If I do want to go out I have the single packets of formula for 200ml and she is bottle fed, but this is once in a blue moon. I think mothers are definitely entitled to time out. She is fussy with a bottle but will take it and only drinks 100ml at a time so 1 sachet is 2 feeds for her. I didnt find that when she is formula fed that she sleeps any better than when she was breast fed....despite being told she would be fuller for longer :confused:
I love the fact that my DD and I have this special only mummy and I can do together activity:D
i wanted to breastfeed so badly but when the time came i just couldnt do it. i think i breastfed unsuccessfully for bout a week before he went onto formula fulltime. i wish now so much that i could, formula is so expensive and such a hassle. DS goes through a tin every 4-5 days.
it wouldnt phase me if someone just whipped their breasts out to breastfeed their baby because its only natural. if i could breastfeed i wouldnt care who is watching because its how my baby would get his meal. i wouldnt go hide in a dirty cubicle somewhere so someone can not feel uncomfortable. if anyone said anything to me i would tell them to just grow up.
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