How far would you go to STOP a circ

[my_lot]

I'd like to know, how far would you go to stop/prevent a circ in your own uncir'd boy.

How many infections would you treat?


How many Doctors would you see before getting it done.

[Nowhere]

I dont have a son, but im assuming that I would avoid circumsition to the same level as I would any other surgery, Sometimes surgical procedures need to be done, and if that was the case then i would let it go ahead, but I would avoid it if posible as I would with any other surgical procedure, as far as how many drs would i see there is only one surgen that i would let any where near my kids, and he is not a surgen that operates unless surgery is needed

[Mathermy]

Interesting question:detective:, though I feel I may be naively wading into a minefield:laughing:

perhaps 3/4? less if they were very serious? Perhaps more if they were very minor.

2 doctors if I trusted them and felt comfortable with their diagnosis-more if i wasn't.

I think of it a bit like tonsils. I wouldn't just go whip them out at the first case of tonsillitis but multiple bad cases would have me considering it.

[Milliner]

My finger has been infected 5 times in less than a year. Each time I have been advised to take antibiotics to treat the infection - first few times I waited for it to heal itself as I'm breastfeeding. My last infection was around 6 weeks ago, the finger is still a little tender but there is no way in the world that I'm about to go and chop the top of my finger off just because it keeps getting infected.

I can't really answer your question because I'm in a similar situation - only difference it's my finger not a penis.

I've seen 2 different doctors in regards to my infections and they didn't change my mind - I'm keeping my finger.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

That really depends upon the severity of the problems, the frequency of them and my child's age. :)

ETA: AND I would have to be given sufficient evidence that the foreskin is the cause of the problem or is worsening the problem, both from numerous medical personnel and from my own research of medical texts. I'm not 100% sure how long it would take, but I would only bring it up as an option if it were clear and proven that the foreskin is being either a cause or irritant for whatever the problem is.

[stellarella]

I don't have a definitive answer. It would become obvious to me when the time had come :)

Figuratively speaking, I would go to the ends of the earth to stop my son being circumcised before he could understand and consent to it.
I would leave no stone un-turned.

[Pax]

My finger has been infected 5 times in less than a year. Each time I have been advised to take antibiotics to treat the infection - first few times I waited for it to heal itself as I'm breastfeeding. My last infection was around 6 weeks ago, the finger is still a little tender but there is no way in the world that I'm about to go and chop the top of my finger off just because it keeps getting infected.

I can't really answer your question because I'm in a similar situation - only difference it's my finger not a penis.

I've seen 2 different doctors in regards to my infections and they didn't change my mind - I'm keeping my finger.


:laughing: you made me giggle.. thats a very clever post LOL


for me 2nd bad infection and if my son (as he is 11) understood and agreed, we would have the little blighter given a trim.

[Milliner]

:laughing: you made me giggle.. thats a very clever post LOL


for me 2nd bad infection and if my son (as he is 11) understood and agreed, we would have the little blighter given a trim.

It's not meant to be clever is the truth - I can post photo's of this finger. :yes: This finger is giving me a bit of grief this year but I would still like to keep it.

[my_lot]

I have a problem. He screams blue murder with the treatment and still says he doesnt want it off.

Our Dr has offered the referal now, we seem to have three porblems, not just the infection. He has sat DS down and explained the whole thing to him. My dear boy listened and still said nope he wants his skin :o

Dr has said if the skin tears we should take him to the hospital and the choice will be taken from him as he will just have to have a circ.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Oh this is happening to you... Goodness.

How old is he?.. and what kind of problem and treatment is he getting?

[Pax]

I have a problem. He screams blue murder with the treatment and still says he doesnt want it off.

Our Dr has offered the referal now, we seem to have three porblems, not just the infection. He has sat DS down and explained the whole thing to him. My dear boy listened and still said nope he wants his skin :o

Dr has said if the skin tears we should take him to the hospital and the choice will be taken from him as he will just have to have a circ.

how old is he?

[Lil Mamma]

That's a tough situation for you both! Poor little guy, hope it gets better for him really soon whatever the decision is :hugs:

[Mathermy]

I have a problem. He screams blue murder with the treatment and still says he doesnt want it off.

Our Dr has offered the referal now, we seem to have three porblems, not just the infection. He has sat DS down and explained the whole thing to him. My dear boy listened and still said nope he wants his skin :o

Dr has said if the skin tears we should take him to the hospital and the choice will be taken from him as he will just have to have a circ.

I wouldn't do it-not if he said no:no::(:hugs:

I wouldn't ever circumcise my son for no good reason, and I would be hesitant even after multiple infections but if he was a baby I would make me decision based on my judgement and that of my doctor.

But if my child was old enough to tell me no (given that he fully understood the consequences mind you) I just don't think I could do it:(

I had repeated bladder infections as a child and was subjected to painful and invasive procedures without any explanation and certainly withhout my imput/consent. It was terryfying and I was so frightened that i vomited repeatedly.it still makes me feel uncomfortable to remember it.:( Not that this is anything like your situation, I just think it is the basis of my decision.

[bAaM]

I think if its a concistent infection due to the for skin being to tight that is continually affecting day to day life for him then getting it removed would be my option.

In answer to your question, if i had reserched and tried all other options and have 2nd and 3rd opinions then i would go ahead with getting it done.

I would explain to DS that it will hurt alot to get it done but there will be know more infections and hurt down there after the op is done.

And before all the anti circ ppl jump on me i already know there is a risk of the infection sticking around, but if it was the last resort i would help my son to stay calm and feel better about getting the op.
If it stuck around we would work through how he feels but i would take the chance.

Good luck K and big huge hugs for poor DS:hugs:

[my_lot]

He is 6. The treatment for the infection on site is ointment and now antibiotics as it has now gone to his bladder.

He is in a lot of pain. He screams over the head of it "sticking" to his undies and then again when he washes it and again when he dries it and again when he has to use the ointment (twice a day) He has been waking in the night screaming out too.


I am trying to keep in mind what he wants and we have decided to try to ride this one out and talk to him again when he hasnt got the infection on top of the skin problem.

[Mathermy]

He is 6. The treatment for the infection on site is ointment and now antibiotics as it has now gone to his bladder.

He is in a lot of pain. He screams over the head of it "sticking" to his undies and then again when he washes it and again when he dries it and again when he has to use the ointment (twice a day) He has been waking in the night screaming out too.


I am trying to keep in mind what he wants and we have decided to try to ride this one out and talk to him again when he hasnt got the infection on top of the skin problem.
poor lil guy :( that's just so sad:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Nowhere]

He is 6. The treatment for the infection on site is ointment and now antibiotics as it has now gone to his bladder.

He is in a lot of pain. He screams over the head of it "sticking" to his undies and then again when he washes it and again when he dries it and again when he has to use the ointment (twice a day) He has been waking in the night screaming out too.


I am trying to keep in mind what he wants and we have decided to try to ride this one out and talk to him again when he hasnt got the infection on top of the skin problem.

OH poor little guy thats so sad I hope this infection goes away really quick

Just a thought with him sceaming when the it hits his underpants could you put some non stick dressing in the front of his undies so that it doesnt stick to it

[NibbleCurlynBub]

He is 6. The treatment for the infection on site is ointment and now antibiotics as it has now gone to his bladder.

He is in a lot of pain. He screams over the head of it "sticking" to his undies and then again when he washes it and again when he dries it and again when he has to use the ointment (twice a day) He has been waking in the night screaming out too.


I am trying to keep in mind what he wants and we have decided to try to ride this one out and talk to him again when he hasnt got the infection on top of the skin problem.
In all honesty at 6 I wouldn't think he would be of the age to properly understand circumcision or the risks involved either way.. But I would respect his decision as far as possible.

Is this the first time it has happened.. or is it recurring?

[NibbleCurlynBub]

OH poor little guy thats so sad I hope this infection goes away really quick

Just a thought with him sceaming when the it hits his underpants could you put some non stick dressing in the front of his undies so that it doesnt stick to it
:iagree: They use a similar dressing for burns, you can get them in the chemist.

[Pax]

He is 6. The treatment for the infection on site is ointment and now antibiotics as it has now gone to his bladder.

He is in a lot of pain. He screams over the head of it "sticking" to his undies and then again when he washes it and again when he dries it and again when he has to use the ointment (twice a day) He has been waking in the night screaming out too.


I am trying to keep in mind what he wants and we have decided to try to ride this one out and talk to him again when he hasnt got the infection on top of the skin problem.

at 6 years old i wouldnt give him a choice it sounds serious i would just organise the circumcision. its really not that bad these days. they can just apply a little ring that slowly kills the skin and it drops off.

[my_lot]

Thats a great idea to use dressing, thankyou!

and nibble- He does understand. A am quite in favour of IRC. He was going to be circ'd, medical issues stood in the way of it. He understands why he wasnt. He also knows my family religion is to circ and that dp is not in favour of it and why.

We have always spoken very honestly and openly with all our children and he knows exactly what use it has, how it works and how to keep it clean.

Thanks anyway :thumbsup:

[neostudded]

There is something you can do with tight foreskins without removing them. If he "needs" to be circumcised you could remove as small amount of skin possible.

[MotherNurture]

I'd like to know, how far would you go to stop/prevent a circ in your own uncir'd boy.

How many infections would you treat?


How many Doctors would you see before getting it done.

I haven't read any of the responses yet, but I'd go to the exact same lengths I'd go to for a daughter to help her avoid having sensitive bits of her external genitalia removed.

How many times would I treat an infection? I believe in finding the root of the problem and treating it, rather than just managing symptoms. Does the child have an immunological problem? Is he/she more prone to yeast because of dietary issues or underlying health problems? Are the "infections" occurring at other sites, too? If we start hacking off bits, where do we stop?

Remember, the actual chance of a boy *ever* needing to be circumcised is just 1%. The claim that "Lots of boys need it done eventually anyway." is pure myth.

[MotherNurture]

at 6 years old i wouldnt give him a choice it sounds serious i would just organise the circumcision. its really not that bad these days. they can just apply a little ring that slowly kills the skin and it drops off.

FYI, the "little ring" still requires forcibly separating the foreskin and the glans, literally tearing the two structures apart. Then a little plastic bell with a handle attached is forced into the opening, so it covers the glans. Along the edge of the bell is an ring with an indentation; on the outside of the foreskin a piece of suture is tied around the underlying ring and tied so tightly it crushes the skin, stopping the foreskin's circulation. It's then knotted and the overhanging foreskin is sliced off. The remaining foreskin necroses (dies/rots) and falls off a few days later with the ring.

Plastibell really is not a kinder, gentler circumcision method. It's still painful, it's still surgery, and it still absolutely requires anesthetic.

If you google "birth as we know it circumcision" you can watch an excellent video.

[stellarella]

I have a problem. He screams blue murder with the treatment and still says he doesnt want it off.

Our Dr has offered the referal now, we seem to have three porblems, not just the infection. He has sat DS down and explained the whole thing to him. My dear boy listened and still said nope he wants his skin :o

Dr has said if the skin tears we should take him to the hospital and the choice will be taken from him as he will just have to have a circ.

Oh your poor little man :(
How horrible for all of you. It must be so hard :hugs:


I wouldn't do it-not if he said no

I wouldn't ever circumcise my son for no good reason, and I would be hesitant even after multiple infections but if he was a baby I would make me decision based on my judgement and that of my doctor.

But if my child was old enough to tell me no (given that he fully understood the consequences mind you) I just don't think I could do it

I had repeated bladder infections as a child and was subjected to painful and invasive procedures without any explanation and certainly withhout my imput/consent. It was terryfying and I was so frightened that i vomited repeatedly.it still makes me feel uncomfortable to remember it. Not that this is anything like your situation, I just think it is the basis of my decision.

:iagree:

It is IMMENSELY important to respect his wishes on this subject. This is something you cannot reverse. It could have major psychological implications for him to have his foreskin removed without his consent. He sounds like a very intelligent and cluey young man. He doesn't feel the time has come to take that option and I would take his lead :hugs:

I agree with MotherNurture's post as well. Have you considered taking him to other practitioners? Look into it further and try to find the underlying cause.

Naturopath, homeopath etc.

[Lastcenturymum]

Well I will tell you how far we went. We did 2 courses of cream that was to help (sorry, I can't recall the name of the condition or what the cream was meant to do now) but it didn't work, he was still having painful urination, so we followed the doctors advice and had him circumcised. I am not that obsessive or selfish about circumcision that I would let my son suffer infections because of my own 'obsession' with not having it done. He was six and wanted a solution to the pain himself as well. Has he suffered? No and he's of a sexually active age - and he has no major psychological damage.

[delirium]

]I am not that obsessive or selfish about circumcision that I would let my son suffer infections because of my own 'obsession' with not having it done. He was six and wanted a solution to the pain himself as well. Has he suffered? No and he's of a sexually active age - and he has no major psychological damage.

:yelclap::yelclap::yelclap:

[Fuchsia!]

I wouldn't do it-not if he said no

I wouldn't ever circumcise my son for no good reason, and I would be hesitant even after multiple infections but if he was a baby I would make me decision based on my judgement and that of my doctor.

But if my child was old enough to tell me no (given that he fully understood the consequences mind you) I just don't think I could do it:(

I had repeated bladder infections as a child and was subjected to painful and invasive procedures without any explanation and certainly withhout my imput/consent. It was terryfying and I was so frightened that i vomited repeatedly.it still makes me feel uncomfortable to remember it.:( Not that this is anything like your situation, I just think it is the basis of my decision.
Oh i agree :yes: I had the same procedures done when i was a child it it still affects me greatly to this day.

I would respect his decision. Keep talking to him and discussing it with him, don't go against his will, he could lose all trust in you. i could never imagine going against my 5yr old wishes unless it was absolutely totally necessary and i had tried every other possible solution.

I hope so bad that it gets better on its own. When Jax was younger i used to spray tee tree oil diluted in a spary bottle and sprayed it on the penis.

I knew a lady that had to use a cathater on her son and she told me a paed had told her to use it. It has neevr failed me so maybe you could give it a go? Ya nver know :)

[Pax]

FYI, the "little ring" still requires forcibly separating the foreskin and the glans, literally tearing the two structures apart. Then a little plastic bell with a handle attached is forced into the opening, so it covers the glans. Along the edge of the bell is an ring with an indentation; on the outside of the foreskin a piece of suture is tied around the underlying ring and tied so tightly it crushes the skin, stopping the foreskin's circulation. It's then knotted and the overhanging foreskin is sliced off. The remaining foreskin necroses (dies/rots) and falls off a few days later with the ring.

Plastibell really is not a kinder, gentler circumcision method. It's still painful, it's still surgery, and it still absolutely requires anesthetic.

If you google "birth as we know it circumcision" you can watch an excellent video.


I know of a woman that had both her boys done by this method with very LITTLE discomfort, they were 5 & 7. So it may sound bad to you but i think a little bit of pain to get it off if it is causing ongoing problems that could last years, is a better option.

[stellarella]

Well I will tell you how far we went. We did 2 courses of cream that was to help (sorry, I can't recall the name of the condition or what the cream was meant to do now) but it didn't work, he was still having painful urination, so we followed the doctors advice and had him circumcised. I am not that obsessive or selfish about circumcision that I would let my son suffer infections because of my own 'obsession' with not having it done. He was six and wanted a solution to the pain himself as well. Has he suffered? No and he's of a sexually active age - and he has no major psychological damage.

The point you are ignoring is that this little boy has insisted that he does not want to be circumcised. To assume that a parent knows better than this particular boy simply because he is 6 is pretty arrogant and well, quite upsetting. When a boy has a voice and a conscious desire to keep his foreskin it is his parents responsibilty to work with it until such time as the boy himself realises it needs to happen. He will know.

Children are intelligent and do have the capacity to make decisions about their bodies even at 6 :yes:

It's hardly parental obsession to want ones child to have autonomy over their bodies. That is called respect.

[peanutbutter&jelly]

I think that by that stage its kind of necessary. Maybe it needs to be explained differently to him, maybe he has a different understanding to what you think? TBH, if my finger or little toe was giving me that much pain the grief and it wasn't going to affect my day to day life, I'd have it lopped, same as what I had done with my tonsils. I too was given a choice with my tonsils - I was 6 when I went on the waiting list to have them out and just turned 7 when I had them taken out. Its the closest thing I have to a foreskin (in my opinion lol) and it has a purpose too (I guess the foreskins purpose is to protect and tonsils are too!) and I think my immune system is worse now because of it... but not in a million years would I want my tonsils back. Kind of wish I had have seen them though :eek: :barf: :D Would have been interesting for me personally to see what had been causing me so much pain for so long.

So I think I would try and work on my DS more, see if I can explain it differently and see what he says. And I'd try and respect his decision, unless it does get reeeeeaaally bad. Which it sounds like its getting :( Your poor son :hugs:
Sorry if my post is all over the place!

[MordecaiAliVanAllenO'Shea]

If I was in your situation and my son had a good understanding of the situation, was in a lot of pain, and still didnt want to be circed I would do everything possible to avoid it. If, however, the infections or complications were getting to the point that lasting serious damage could be done to his body I would gently and sensitively try to convince him. I would not do it till he agreed though.

Good luck - I hope your poor little man feels better soon. Would a long soak in the bath with a little salt help to heal it and ease some of the pain possibly?

[Mathermy]

[quote=MJ410;3231850]TBH, if my finger or little toe was giving me that much pain the grief and it wasn't going to affect my day to day life, I'd have it lopped, same as what I had done with my tonsils. quote]

My friend had a problem with a recurrent ingrown toenail & infections etc to the point where she was having trouble walking. She is now missing a small part of her toe and it looks very odd but she doesn't regret it at all.

[Pax]

The point you are ignoring is that this little boy has insisted that he does not want to be circumcised. To assume that a parent knows better than this particular boy simply because he is 6 is pretty arrogant and well, quite upsetting. When a boy has a voice and a conscious desire to keep his foreskin it is his parents responsibilty to work with it until such time as the boy himself realises it needs to happen. He will know.

Children are intelligent and do have the capacity to make decisions about their bodies even at 6 :yes:

It's hardly parental obsession to want ones child to have autonomy over their bodies. That is called respect.

my 7 year old says every night she doesnt want dinner and would live on junk food if she had a say..

so do you think i should let her because she can make that decision as being the best for her body

[Ashleigh<3]

my 7 year old says every night she doesnt want dinner and would live on junk food if she had a say..

so do you think i should let her because she can make that decision as being the best for her body


To the OP- What a difficult situation.
I'd have no other choice but to respect my sons wishes, I'd just be so scared he'd hold it against me, especially because he has such an understanding over it all even at this age.

If he said, "Mummy, please, I don't want it, it hurts too much"- I'd do all that I could to make it better and if removing it was the only choice then I'd do that to make my boy feel better.
But if he was consciously telling me, "Please Mum, I don't want to lose my foreskin". It would break my heart to go against his wishes. I'd have to keep it intact for his sake.

[Benji]

Well I will tell you how far we went. We did 2 courses of cream that was to help (sorry, I can't recall the name of the condition or what the cream was meant to do now) but it didn't work, he was still having painful urination, so we followed the doctors advice and had him circumcised. I am not that obsessive or selfish about circumcision that I would let my son suffer infections because of my own 'obsession' with not having it done. He was six and wanted a solution to the pain himself as well. Has he suffered? No and he's of a sexually active age - and he has no major psychological damage.

That's what I was thinking, too. If it was causing major recurrent pain and discomfort for my little man, and doctors were recommending it, I would strongly strongly advise my boy to get it done.

Infections coming and going all the time and his bits sticking to his undies causing pain sounds much worse to me than the aftermath of a circ TBH.

My boy isn't circ'd, and I avoid anything medical for him unless I see very very good reason for it, and this situation would be one of them :yes:

[NibbleCurlynBub]

my 7 year old says every night she doesnt want dinner and would live on junk food if she had a say..

so do you think i should let her because she can make that decision as being the best for her body

:iagree: At that age I would do everything possible to avoid it, especially if he has said outright that no he doesn't want it done.

But at the end of the day if there seems little choice left and you as the parent believe it would be best.. Well then as unfortunate as it may be, a parents decision for a solution would end up overriding the child's opinion.

Would try EXCEPTIONALLY hard to avoid it. But really, if it gets to the stage where I feel like it is the only real solution.. Then I would be prepared to step-up to be the parent and make the difficult decision for what I would believe to be my child's best interests.

[stellarella]

my 7 year old says every night she doesnt want dinner and would live on junk food if she had a say..

so do you think i should let her because she can make that decision as being the best for her body


If you compare circumcision to dinner choices then we are on completely different wavelengths so I wouldn't expect you to understand my point of view.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

If you compare circumcision to dinner choices then we are on completely different wavelengths so I wouldn't expect you to understand my point of view.
But the point she was trying to make is valid.

That children don't always know what is best for them.
I'm sure you'll agree that when it comes to medical problems, a parents choice would override the child's wants when it comes right down to it.

I haven't heard anybody say that they would just get it done right away.. Most have said that they would try to investigate all options first.. So its not such a bad thread...

[Ashleigh<3]

I fail to see the correlation between dinner and circumcision.

'Not hungry' is very different to 'pain'.

If the child doesn't want his foreskin cut off, that is his voice speaking aloud, wanting to be heard.

Of course I'm not going to make fun of the Parent for deciding against this but the fact that the child is speaking up about is not something I could just sweep under the rug. Chances are he wont either.

I am no expert in dealing with boys and infections of the foreskin, I do not have a son so I wouldn't no, but I do sympathise with the Parents who have their sons experiencing re-occurring infections. I imagine going back and forth to Doctor's/ specialists to be very strenuous.

Wishing you all the best with this.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Of course I'm not going to make fun of the Parent for deciding against this but the fact that the child is speaking up about is not something I could just sweep under the rug. Chances are he wont either.
I don't think ANY parent would disregard this at all. :no:

But really if there seems to be no other option...

[Ashleigh<3]

I don't think ANY parent would disregard this at all. :no:

But really if there seems to be no other option...

I understand, I guess it depends on the individual parent and what sort of information they've been given regarding treatments available for the infection.

I know I've read threads in the past from Mothers who have gone through a series of different treatments to save their sons from foreskin removal.

BTW- To the OP, I am in no way whatsoever, questioning your methods. I'm sure you're doing all that you can for your Son. I'm just making a point that I have read the above threads I mentioned.

[WorkingClassMum]

I would respect your son's decision to a certain extent - keeping in mind he's only 6 (albeit fairly clued in). I'd also let him know that at some stage the decision may be taken out of his (an your) hands. A lot of good communication is needed ATM.

I'd see through this latest lot of AB's and then take a restock.

Long term AB's are not good, and long term constant infections can lead to other problems - especially if the infection travels up to the kidneys etc

I'd get a second opinion from a Urologist who specialises in that whole region of the body

I'd also get your son to expalin exactly what he's afraid of, and address those fears - especially if it looks like a circ. becomes necessary

I'd really make sure he is cleaning it properly

I'd also look at some homeopathic remedies.

Cranberrys (even juice) help avoid infections in the kideny/bladder/urine area as well

I'd also insist he keeps up fluids to keep the area flushed

And then I'd cross my fingers and pray

Have you (or the Dr/GP) considered that the problem may be fungal?

[Pax]

If you compare circumcision to dinner choices then we are on completely different wavelengths so I wouldn't expect you to understand my point of view.


that was just one example of the same thing.

My son had a thorn stuck in his foot and he never said anything about it for a good week by the time he did it was infected and puss coming out and he was screaming that he didnt want it out...

i held him down and plucked it out and cleaned it up the whole time he was screaming he didnt want me to take it out.

Is that getting any closer?:wave:

[WorkingClassMum]

that was just one example of the same thing.

My son had a thorn stuck in his foot and he never said anything about it for a good week by the time he did it was infected and puss coming out and he was screaming that he didnt want it out...

i held him down and plucked it out and cleaned it up the whole time he was screaming he didnt want me to take it out.

Is that getting any closer?:wave:

Did you cut his foot off?

Does not compare in my books either.

A thorn is a foreign body - a foreskin is part of the male anatomy.

[Lastcenturymum]

The point you are ignoring is that this little boy has insisted that he does not want to be circumcised. To assume that a parent knows better than this particular boy simply because he is 6 is pretty arrogant and well, quite upsetting. When a boy has a voice and a conscious desire to keep his foreskin it is his parents responsibilty to work with it until such time as the boy himself realises it needs to happen. He will know.

Children are intelligent and do have the capacity to make decisions about their bodies even at 6 :yes:

It's hardly parental obsession to want ones child to have autonomy over their bodies. That is called respect.

Hi Stella, I didn't ignore it and have no question of how intelligent young children are, actually I was rather surprised that a 6 year old was so adamant and he would rather continue suffering the discomfort. I suspect his opinion is based on what he has been taught and told. And there is nothing wrong with him being informed so well. That is great. But I also speak from my experience and a long way down the track. I just hope a solution if found quickly that makes everybody happy - that is what we should all wish for. :yes:

[Benji]

Did you cut his foot off?

Does not compare in my books either.

A thorn is a foreign body - a foreskin is part of the male anatomy.

Tonsils? Appendix? Wisdom teeth?

If any of those things cause problems, they are usually removed, why not a foreskin?

(I'm not pro-circ, but I do think there's a point where they are necessary).

What an awful predicament for the OP :(

[WorkingClassMum]

Tonsils? Appendix? Wisdom teeth?

If any of those things cause problems, they are usually removed, why not a foreskin?

(I'm not pro-circ, but I do think there's a point where they are necessary).

What an awful predicament for the OP :(

Tonsils and appendix are often removed by necessity and to leave them in can be a matter of life or death - and there is no alternative but for their removal. I'd even include a gall bladder in that list

Wisdom teeth cause excruiting agony, and ultimately can even cause death and certainly a loss of enjoyment of life.

And this is the case equally for men and women

So in that case, and in the case of repeated un-curable infections, then I would circ.

But there is a slight subtle difference in a penis and foreskin - and also in this case that the sufferer is rejecting a circ.

If after going through every option possible option and alternative.

If it became life/death or a permanent loss of enjoyment of life - I'd snip without a moments hesitation

The answer that I posted was the anology made was comparing a thorn in the foot to an infection in a penis - and not any where near as comparable as to appendixis, tonsils, teeth, gall bladders or even a splean - which a far more valid argument

[Benji]

Tonsils and appendix are often removed by necessity and to leave them in can be a matter of life or death - and there is no alternative but for their removal. I'd even include a gall bladder in that list

Wisdom teeth cause excruiting agony, and ultimately can even cause death and certainly a loss of enjoyment of life.

And this is the case equally for men and women

So in that case, and in the case of repeated un-curable infections, then I would circ.

But there is a slight subtle difference in a penis and foreskin - and also in this case that the sufferer is rejecting a circ.

If after going through every option possible option and alternative.

If it became life/death or a permanent loss of enjoyment of life - I'd snip without a moments hesitation

The answer that I posted was the anology made was comparing a thorn in the foot to an infection in a penis - and not any where near as comparable as to appendixis, tonsils, teeth, gall bladders or even a splean - which a far more valid argument

Fair points! I do agree! :)

[misskittyfantastico]

I don't know what I would do:no: I know that I would exhaust every possible avenue before circumcising. The piece of skin we're talking about cannot be compared to ANY other piece of the body (unless, I suppose the clitoral hood)....Gahh, so hard. :hugs: to your boy.

[Pax]

Tonsils and appendix are often removed by necessity and to leave them in can be a matter of life or death - and there is no alternative but for their removal. I'd even include a gall bladder in that list

Wisdom teeth cause excruiting agony, and ultimately can even cause death and certainly a loss of enjoyment of life.

And this is the case equally for men and women

So in that case, and in the case of repeated un-curable infections, then I would circ.

But there is a slight subtle difference in a penis and foreskin - and also in this case that the sufferer is rejecting a circ.

If after going through every option possible option and alternative.

If it became life/death or a permanent loss of enjoyment of life - I'd snip without a moments hesitation

The answer that I posted was the anology made was comparing a thorn in the foot to an infection in a penis - and not any where near as comparable as to appendixis, tonsils, teeth, gall bladders or even a splean - which a far more valid argument

infections in the urethra can cause kidney infections which can also be life threatening..

[misskittyfantastico]

infections in the urethra can cause kidney infections which can also be life threatening..

Indeed...I have had many, many, many. No one removed my urethra, bladder OR kidneys. Even when they give you a kidney transplant, they leave the old ones there...sorry offtopic I know:o

[my_lot]

Thanks for the replies. Its been a difficult few days. It looks like the ointment and ABs are working. He is a lot happier and not crying at the pain of the ointment now. We have told him we are going to see a specialist about it and see what he says and then talk about it some more. We want to work out an action plan with him while he is pain free and before another infection, should that happen again.


actually I was rather surprised that a 6 year old was so adamant and he would rather continue suffering the discomfort. I suspect his opinion is based on what he has been taught and told. And there is nothing wrong with him being informed so well

Actually, He is well informed on both sides of the issue and im not sure either has influenced him more than the other. He may well know more about this that the average 6yr old, thats true. The boys/men in our family are circ'd and it is celebrated. BUT, he also has an intact father and brother and knows why.


We have told him why boys have it there and what its job is. Its not really something i wouldnt tell him, Just as my girls know why they have a uterus. My belief on RIC doesnt play any effect on my child being educated on his own body and its functions.


But i must say, Even the doctor was surprised at him sitting in the big chair and stating that "his penis was sore because he had an infection under his foreskin"

NEO- Thanks, we will look into that when we see the specialist. Our lovely Hindu GP has already suggested this.
:p

[SassyMummy]

It would depend on how many infections and how frequently.

Having 5 infections in 5 years if much different, IMO, than having 5 infections in 5 months.

I don't think I can give you an exact number... I would just come to the conclusion that it had to be done...

[stellarella]

Thanks for the replies. Its been a difficult few days. It looks like the ointment and ABs are working. He is a lot happier and not crying at the pain of the ointment now. We have told him we are going to see a specialist about it and see what he says and then talk about it some more. We want to work out an action plan with him while he is pain free and before another infection, should that happen again.



Actually, He is well informed on both sides of the issue and im not sure either has influenced him more than the other. He may well know more about this that the average 6yr old, thats true. The boys/men in our family are circ'd and it is celebrated. BUT, he also has an intact father and brother and knows why.


We have told him why boys have it there and what its job is. Its not really something i wouldnt tell him, Just as my girls know why they have a uterus. My belief on RIC doesnt play any effect on my child being educated on his own body and its functions.


But i must say, Even the doctor was surprised at him sitting in the big chair and stating that "his penis was sore because he had an infection under his foreskin"

NEO- Thanks, we will look into that when we see the specialist. Our lovely Hindu GP has already suggested this.
:p

I'm really happy that it seems to be getting better. I hope it stays that way.

I'm also really impressed with the open dialogue you have with your son about his body. It's great :thumbsup:

You are not being "obsessive" by wanting to keep your sons penis intact.

I suspect you will all know (including your son) when it gets to that point where a circumcision is the only option. I hope he will feel better knowing if it comes to that, you have exhausted all options.

Lastcentrymum - I suspect that boys want to keep their foreskins because they are a part of their bodies. Just as you or I like to keep our clitoral hoods I suppose. It doesn't mean they have been "influenced" either way. I suspect it is an instinctive thing considering the foreskin is a major part of such a delicate organ.

The only reason a foreskin is considered so "expendable" is because of the way society views it. It is no more expendable than any other part of the body. We should go to the same lengths we would to save a leg or an arm.

Morrigan - No not getting any closer :wave:

[WorkingClassMum]

Long term AB's are not good, and long term constant infections can lead to other problems - especially if the infection travels up to the kidneys etc




So in that case, and in the case of repeated un-curable infections, then I would circ.

If it became life/death or a permanent loss of enjoyment of life - I'd snip without a moments hesitation.



infections in the urethra can cause kidney infections which can also be life threatening..

Thankyou - I am fully aware of that fact - in fact I'd already pointed that out several posts ago

[WorkingClassMum]

Thanks for the replies. Its been a difficult few days. It looks like the ointment and ABs are working. He is a lot happier and not crying at the pain of the ointment now. We have told him we are going to see a specialist about it and see what he says and then talk about it some more. We want to work out an action plan with him while he is pain free and before another infection, should that happen again.




I am glad that things are sorting themselves out.

Your little boy sounds very switched on - I'd say he gets it from his parents

[MotherNurture]

Well I will tell you how far we went. We did 2 courses of cream that was to help (sorry, I can't recall the name of the condition or what the cream was meant to do now) but it didn't work, he was still having painful urination, so we followed the doctors advice and had him circumcised. I am not that obsessive or selfish about circumcision that I would let my son suffer infections because of my own 'obsession' with not having it done. He was six and wanted a solution to the pain himself as well. Has he suffered? No and he's of a sexually active age - and he has no major psychological damage.

I don't judge you for doing what you felt was best for your son, who was obviously experiencing discomfort but I have to wonder how long the symptoms persisted for, what his actual diagnosis was, what treatment options you were presented with (besides circumcision), and how his foreskin was cared for. Did anyone ever try to pull it back? Were you using soap under it? Both of those things aren't recommended and can lead to problems like discomfort, tears, inflammation, infection, and scarring.

At 6 though, at least he was old enough to understand why he was having surgery and it sounds like he was okay with it. In the case of the OP, I think it would be a lot more traumatic/potentially psychologically damaging because he does not want his foreskin cut off.


I know of a woman that had both her boys done by this method with very LITTLE discomfort, they were 5 & 7. So it may sound bad to you but i think a little bit of pain to get it off if it is causing ongoing problems that could last years, is a better option.

I've personally assisted as a nursing assistant to plastibell circumcisions, and I've seen videos as well. The procedure is what it is. The only reason it might be less physically painful for an older boy is that his foreskin may have already naturally separated from the glans, eliminating the first stage of the procedure where the two structures are ripped apart with hemostats and a blunt probe, leaving the entire head of the penis (glans) red, raw, and oozy.

I shared the details because there's a dangerous myth floating around that the plastibell is painless and doesn't require cutting. Believing this might cause a parent to forgo anesthetic for their little one, or to be less conscientious about post-op pain management.


I think that by that stage its kind of necessary. Maybe it needs to be explained differently to him, maybe he has a different understanding to what you think? TBH, if my finger or little toe was giving me that much pain the grief and it wasn't going to affect my day to day life, I'd have it lopped, same as what I had done with my tonsils. I too was given a choice with my tonsils - I was 6 when I went on the waiting list to have them out and just turned 7 when I had them taken out. Its the closest thing I have to a foreskin (in my opinion lol) and it has a purpose too (I guess the foreskins purpose is to protect and tonsils are too!) and I think my immune system is worse now because of it... but not in a million years would I want my tonsils back.

You're right only in that the foreskin and tonsils are both believed to have some immunological function. However, the closest thing you have to a foreskin is your foreskin.

Yep, you have a foreskin. It's your clitoral hood. It protects your clitoris, and keeps the surface slightly moist, the skin smooth and thin, and the glans extremely sensitive. Without your clitoral hood, it would be exposed to air and abrasion from clothing. Over time, this would cause the surface skin to be come paler, dryer, thicker, and less sensitive...much like a callous on your feet if you go barefoot all summer, except the results of circumcision are lifelong.

The adult foreskin contains 3-4 feet of blood vessels, 240 feet of nerves, and tens of thousands of specialized nerve endings. The frenulum, which attaches the foreskin to the glans, is often called the "male g-spot'. When a boy or man is circumcised, the frenulum is cut; most circumcised men say the little remaining tag or scar on the underside of the glans is the most sensitive part of their penis.

Another thing the foreskin does is glide back and forth over the glans during self-stimulation and intercourse. This reduces excessive abrasion for women, too, making sex more comfortable/less irritating. This function is eliminated by circumcision.



Did you cut his foot off?

Does not compare in my books either.

A thorn is a foreign body - a foreskin is part of the male anatomy.


Tonsils? Appendix? Wisdom teeth?

If any of those things cause problems, they are usually removed, why not a foreskin?

(I'm not pro-circ, but I do think there's a point where they are necessary).

What an awful predicament for the OP :(

I do understand what you mean about doing medically necessary things for our children even if they really don't want it done...like making a child take an antibiotic that's been prescribed, even if it tastes awful, because they need it. If circumcision is really, truly necessary and there aren't alternatives and his life's in danger, I think we can all agree that it should be done. However, if there are other things that can be tried and ways that the condition can be managed, and he's adamant doesn't want a part of his penis cut off, then forcing circumcision may cause a lot of psychological upset/resentment.

IMO, cutting a child's private parts against their will should only be done as a very last resort.

---

I'm glad to hear the OP's son is doing a bit better!

Jen