Internet addiction

[lukaelmo]

Okay, now no laughing.

I am really serious when I say I am addicted to the internet. I have my computer on 24/7. When I have people over I am itching for there to be a break in the conversation so I can come here and check... I sit here all day, every day, emailing, reading, chatting on MSN. I often refuse outings because I'd rather be close to my email :(.

It's getting to the point, or rather well past it, where I am ignoring the boys because I want to be on here.

Obviously I am going to look back in a few years time and think, what on earth was I thinking? Spending time on here (not just the hub) instead of enjoying the two people I love more than anyone in the world?

I have been thinking and thinking, and today I spoke to the boys' father about what I could do. I was thinking of selling the computer, but the idea just sent me into a cold sweat, I think I'd be lost without it. I've always loved to read above all other activities, and on here, well, I'm in heaven really.

But like any addiction really, it has started to interfere with the quality of my life, and that of the boys'. I also feel guilty spending time on here when they are awake and wanting my attention.

Anyway, we talked for a bit (the boys' dad and I) and I came to the conclusion that I could treat the internet as a special activity, rather than an every day time waster.

So... I have asked the boys' dad to take the computer from me on Sunday nights, and give it back Thursday nights.

I work Monday and Tuesdays, and have a computer there, but as I teach there's not a whole lot of time I can spend on it. But I can do internet banking and reply/send to any important emails then.

Then Wednesday and Thursdays when I am at home with the boys I won't have any access to the internet. So they can have my undivided attention on those days.

Then come Thursday night I will get putey back, and without guilt, can spend all day on Friday going back and forth, doing my stuff with the boys, but also playing on the computer, and using it with pleasure.

The weekends I will have it too, but I am not so bad then anyway, I can close it up those days as there aren't so many people here to talk to. Most of the people I talk to are here during the week, during working hours. So weekends are safe.

Now as I said, no giggling. This has really become a big problem for me, and I really hope that this plan of usage I have will work, and I am not being naive about it.

I want to view the internet just like I do the television, a bit of a treat, but certainly not to sit in front of all day.

Well that was all very long and probably repetitive... if anyone has got this far... what do you think?

[bubbleyblossom]

If you think that it is becomming an issue then what you have decided to do is agood idea.
I wish you the best of luck with it, and look forward to talking to you on Fridays :)

[mrsmov]

i know what you mean :o I check my emails at least 10 times a day... :o

I was quite thankful when DH had to take the computer to work one day - I actually got STACKS of housework done...
rather embarrassing actually - but just can't help myself. I better get off now & do some ironing that I've been putting off to show that I'm not too addicted...

[WorkingClassMum]

:hugs:

Half way to solving a problem is admitting there is a problem.

I think it sounds like a good first step. Removing the temptation.

Maybe you can agree about a time to turn it on - like after 8.30 or so when the kids are in bed asleep?

[blissfullybonkers]

thats a great idea! :yelclap: i'd do it too, but i dont have a lap top....

[Leeny]

No laughing here.. I remember being at school, and staying up until 6 in the morning, then sleeping for an hour, then going to school, and itching for the end of the day to end so I could literally run home, to chat on the internet :yes: I was literally addicted.. Its not a good feeling to have something rule your life, even a virtual world. I'm much more careful these days.. I spend too much time on here some times, but I try to make up for it on other days, and just stay away. I'm not home a lot week days anymore either, so that's a lot of time away from the computer.

I think you've come up with a very good plan, but like other things, don't be too hard on yourself if you slip here or there, just make a promise to yourself to make up for it another day.. If your too harsh and strict on yourself right away, it'll seem like a chore, or punishment. I'm sure you'll do well :):hugs:

[misskittyfantastico]

I think it's a really good plan. The internet, like anything can just suck you in and when you're saying "Mummy will be there in a minute" repeatedly through the day...well...it's no good.

I think you are awesome for recognising this and for doing something about it.:yelclap:

[lukaelmo]

:hugs:

Half way to solving a problem is admitting there is a problem.

I think it sounds like a good first step. Removing the temptation.

Maybe you can agree about a time to turn it on - like after 8.30 or so when the kids are in bed asleep?

Thank you :).

I feel like I need to have it removed completely if I don't want to use it. If I have it in the house, I will get on it. Like putting a cake in front of a mad dieter :laughing:!

I have been know to lose it a bit if there's a problem with my connection :o.

If it's not here though, as it won't be Monday through Thursday, then I am usually okay. I tried to do something about it once before, but tried complete cold turkey and couldn't do it again. I honestly think that if I am just using it that one day a week (the Fridays I will have it) then that's cool, after all, it is something I enjoy, I just way overdo it.

[lukaelmo]

No laughing here.. I remember being at school, and staying up until 6 in the morning, then sleeping for an hour, then going to school, and itching for the end of the day to end so I could literally run home, to chat on the internet :yes: I was literally addicted.. Its not a good feeling to have something rule your life, even a virtual world.

Yes, that's exactly it. I went to a FUNERAL for crying out loud and during the after party bit (yes, I know not a party, but what is it called?) I kept sneaking away TO GET ON THE INTERNET. Who does that?

And I hate it. Anything that rules your life and you lose control to it... it doesn't make you feel good...

I am glad that you are in control now. I have very little self control, so I really hope that by removing it completely will work, and then of course the day that I do have it, I can enjoy it for what it is, without the guilt.

[crazyaboutbubs]

No laughing here.. I remember being at school, and staying up until 6 in the morning, then sleeping for an hour, then going to school, and itching for the end of the day to end so I could literally run home, to chat on the internet :yes: I was literally addicted.. Its not a good feeling to have something rule your life, even a virtual world.

This sounds exactly how i used to be when i was at school. I used to wag so i could spend the day on the net, i felt my friends online were my best mates and that my friends at school judged me. I felt secure in my own little safe online world.

Good luck with your new plan! :fingerscrossed:

[Pax]

I used to have an internet addiction now i am just plain bored with it. I cant wait till this bub is out and i am up and mobile again... there is so much more to life than this.:yelclap:

best of luck overcoming it ...

[~Temet Nosce~]

Get dialup speed. Seriously when I am shaped, I don't want to go near the bloody thing :laughing:

otherwise because I have a laptop I just close it up and put it out of sight.

[Bananahannah]

Do you know... I recognise a lot of what you just said...:o and I'm not laughing either. I am the same way- maybe not 24/7 but as soon as I get up in the mornign I switch on the computer- I eat my brekky in front of it (when I used to read the newspaper) I eat lunch in front of it and I eat dinner unless all saints is on or something! I think it's the problem with broadband too, the itch to keep checking the e-mail 24/7 and thinking "hmm I'm just walking past I'll just click on new posts and see what's happening..." (I've been on other parenting websites as well.):o I also worry that maybe the computer is taking me away from my children- which it is, sometimes. Especially when dh is at work I guess the computer and the contant ability to chat with someone makes you feel like your not alone? Which is good- or bad when you use it/rely on it too much. :hugs: maybe we should all take a leaf! Good luck and keep us posted as to how you are going... (because you know we'll keep checking!:laughing:)

[drewid]

Very wise.

I've struggled with this in the past (think i am again now to be honest). To be honest, its the reason I stopped being a mod. I just couldn't stay away, had to always be here, checking things out (amongst other online things).

I do let it get in the way of good parenting, its a huge guilt. Some days are easier than others to walk away.

I really try to focus on how much of my time I'm wasting...tend to try to make sure I do more housework to *earn* computer time.

I hate the internet. But I love it.

[lukaelmo]

Amethyst, the idea of dial up speed is hilarious... you are quite right, that would certainly take a whole lot of pleasure out of checking email :laughing:!

Banana and Drewid, thanks for replying... I really did have a feeling that I was not the only one with this sort of problem, I guess a lot of us are at home with very small children, and are perhaps a bit lonely. I know I am.

However... my internet relationships have somehow become more of a priority than my real life ones...

[kas3]

I spend way too much time online too. I can spend hours surfing or on the hub refreshing the screen to see if people have responded to particular threads. I don't get anything else done and wonder where the day has gone. I'm thinking of limiting myself to one hour per day, and setting a timer to go off after sixty minutes.

[Shanaynay]

Lukaelmo it's called a wake :laughing:

You definitely are not the only one, I used to be seriously addicted to the internet, much like you. It was a real problem as I was at Uni at the same time, so I HAD to be in front of the computer anyway, so instead of doing work I was on the internet all day.

I managed to break the addiction and now I am definitely not addicted to the internet! Unfortunately I can't tell you how or why it happened, I'm not really sure, it's just I felt like coming on less and less and didn't feel the need. Now I can enjoy it just when I have free time instead of making time for it iykwim. And I enjoy it much more for that.

It did happen about the time that my laptop broke though - having to stand around at the desktop (yep, stand, I had it on a high table thingo instead of a desk, that made me spend far less time online too, having to stand up) in one room instead of wherever I liked meant I used it far less.

Do you have a desktop or laptop? Maybe you can put your computer up high so you have to stand, or in an incovenient place so you are inclined to use it less. If you have wireless, try getting rid of that and instead use the cable to plug it in so you are forced to stay in the one spot... maybe even hubby could take the cable to work during the day so you aren't tempted.

I do remember one time I had a day on/day off 'rule', that worked ok, and also a 'not till kids are asleep' rule. They did work to keep me on less I guess, but the rest of the time I was still itching to get online so TBH it didn't really do anything to break the addiction, which was a frustrating feeling.

So sorry I can't be much help, but I can't really pinpoint what 'cured' my addiction!

But implementing some usage rules sounds like a good idea, hopefully the less time you spend online, the less you will need it, but even if you find you are still itching to get online just as much, at least during that time you are spending more time with your boys :)

Good luck, let us know how you go!

P.S. Perhaps you should get yourself banned from Bubhub :devil::laughing:

[~Temet Nosce~]

I accutally think laptops are bad in a way because you can use them anywhere. For example I am sitting here on the laptop while feeding dd yoghurt in her highchair :o

[~Candy~]

If I had a lap top....yikes, I'd be BAD!!!...lol
I'm bad enough as it is...but I dont have any real life friends...this is all I have....so It's all good:)

[Hollywood]

I sort of know how you feel :hugs:, even if I'm not on 24/7 (though it could easily get that way if I let it). I sometimes spend too much time online, but I've had to impliment a few rules so that it doesn't get out of hand.

Firstly, unless I have important internet banking to do, I never get on when DS is awake.

However, my second rule is that if DS is awake, I only get on when I'm breastfeeding him (I put my laptop beside me as he feeds). So that's only 10ish minutes here and there, more perhaps if he's feeding to sleep. Then as soon as he finishes I close it and put it away.

Then, I force myself to do SOME housework before I allow myself to get on if DS is having a nap, that way if I finish the housework and DS is still asleep, I can then get on here and not feel guilty.

Then on Saturdays I work for 5 hours in a real estate office, doing reception, and for that 5 hours I can use the internet 100% guilt free so long as I get a few tasks done first.

I have times when I wish I hadn't discovered forums, because before I had I only ever checked my email a couple of times a day and was otherwise a bit bored with the internet unless I had information to find on it.

But used in moderation, I do believe that forums like this have more pros than cons, and as long as we don't neglect other areas in our life, they can be a good place to come for friendship and useful advice from others.

[Mathermy]

It was a real problem as I was at Uni at the same time, so I HAD to be in front of the computer anyway, so instead of doing work I was on the internet all day.



Oh that is soooo me! :o

If I spent half as much time actually doing my work instead of procrastinating onthe internet I would be a scholar:rolleyes:

[SixtiesChild]

I can relate to this - It's a problem when being online replaces the time we would normally spend enriching our relationships with others, especially the kids.
Good on you for recognising it and putting it in it's rightful place. :yes:

[mum2bubba]

I am on the net most of the day sometimes too.