feeling guilty

[wilsmum]

I have recently started back working after being at home with my son for 17 months and although i only work 15 hours a week, i feel guilty about leaving him. i thoroughly enjoyed being a sahm, and my partner has a good job but the extra money is helpful. i just feel torn between having extra money and leaving my baby. how do you cope with working, especially those who work full time?

[jakobsmum]

Is he in daycare? If he is he is probably having so much fun with other kids of a similar age. It's great for their development as they can see others doing stuff and imitate this. (Not always good :rolleyes: )

My son is cared for by my mum so I know he is loved and cared for exactly the way I want. Plus their relationship becomes even closer.

I like to have time to myself, even if it is working and I think that I'm a lot more relaxed for having it ;)

[Gemma]

I started Grace in daycare at 7mths and work 16-24hrs/wk. It is hard, but she loves daycare, has never cried there, and she wouldn't have any contact with others her own age if it wasn't for daycare. Though, when she is sick (one virus after the other since starting day care) I feel I am the worst mother in the world.

I don't know how F/T mum's do it, the amount I work is enough time away from her.

I guess we all feel guilty to a degree, but to support our lifestyle, we have to work. Also the adult world is a nice change after "da da ya ya da ba" all day!

[Wendy]

I started my little girl in daycare at 10mth (she is 2 1/5 yrs now) and she absolutely loves it. I am now working 4days per week, which at times is a little bit too much.

I do feel guilty but I know she is learning so much there. I make sure I pick her up every day (3 days per week) after work so she can show me all her craft. I have a husband who works from home and that helps a great deal.

I do miss her thru the day but I have photos of her on my desk and that always makes me smile.

Wendy :)

[xkwzit]

Hi Wils Mum
I started back at work when 1st baby was 7.5 mths and am just about to go back again (baby 2 will be 5.5 mths). I am v fortunate in being able to work part time (20 hours / week, over 3 shortish days). My mum looked after baby 1 until she started day care at 15 mths (and she'll also start looking after baby 2, who will start at daycare once she is about 1 year old). I have enjoyed being at home with the kids, but I sometimes run out of things to do with them.

I find Daycare is a great source of craft and activity ideas. I found out that my daughter loves to cut out pictures (I had thought she was too small), so now we do that. She also gets to mix with other kids and learns to share and take turns (important now she has a little sister). I also learn tips on toilet training and get kids recipe ideas from the carers.

I think that it is good for me to maintain my professional identity (I don't have a job that I could leave for 5 years and then easily come back to). I also think it is good for the kids to spend some time in structured care. Here's an idea to assuage the guilt..if you can, spend some of the money you make on getting help around the house or garden :) . That way, you'll have even more quality time when you're all at home together.

Cheers

[wilsmum]

Hi
I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for replying, it makes me feel better that other people are in my situation.
wil goes to my in laws for the 3 days that i work as my parents are interstate. i guess that me working is a fairly recent thing so i'm still just getting used to leaving him. i'm also not working in the area that i have studied at uni for the past six years, so that makes work even less appealing!

oh well, i'll just have to hang in there!!

[5cherubs]

when I had DD1 I went back to work when she was 6 weeks old, lucky my husband and I both worked shifts so we would co ordinate our shifts to be opposite, when she was 1 I started her in daycare just 1 day a week to get her interaction with other kids she loved it, when I had DD2 I went back to full time work when she was 8 weeks and then both girls had to be in full time care, it wasn't until I had DD3 and there were complications with her etc... and so I couldn't go back to work I realised how much I really missed out on things going back to work so early on with the other girls (keeping in mind though that they were younger than your bub) and in saying that I must say though socially the 2 older girls were much better for it..... DD3 is really quiet although she is comming out of her shell now that she goes to daycare a couple of days.

Don't feel guilty you do what you need to do.
I have just gone back to casual work 10hrs a week, I also have my own business which I work from home but luckily my husband works nights so he can look after the kids.
Take care

[noniandlilysmum]

Hi there, I tend to think that working full time defeats the real purpose of having children(my own opinion)... Also depending on each individuals circumstances... My husband and I own a Smash Repairs and have 2 small children, We both terribly regret buying the business as it takes up far too much time in which we could be enjoying with our girls and far too stressfull for people our age... Unfortunately, that is just the way it is for now... However, as someone else said, You wouldn't have the lifestyle you have if you didn't work... And just think, it is only part-time, so, maybe think of the positives in the situation you are in... I used to do waitressing one night a week, and I used to enjoy the "me time" so as to speak, Where I could interact with other adults and take time out from my every day environment... Hope this helps, Haana :)