Settling baby for day sleeps

[kali]

I seem to keep posting these stupid questions, but you've all been so helpful, so here is another one!

How do you settle your baby for day sleeps?

My bubs is 12 weeks old and WILL NOT let me put her in her bassinette for day sleeps. the second I put her down she cries her lungs out and won't settle unless I pick her up.

So we end up doing the whole walking/rocking in arms thing till she's nearly asleep (or sometimes just dropped off) and I put her down. Then inevitably as soon as she hits the matress her eyes pop open, her face screws up and she cries at full volume again. So I pick her up and rock her back till she's calm and try again. This typically goes on for a good 30 mins before she finally will go down and stay asleep. Sometimes we can go for an hour like this till I just give up.

We had Tresillian out for a home visit to help, but nothing they suggest seems to be working - put the baby down, but not asleep. Let them cry for a bit to get it out of their system. pat, stroke but don't pick up etc.

Help!! What do you guys all do??

[OurLittleBlessing]

Hi Kali,

I don't know if I can be much help, as I am going through a similar thing at the moment.

Up until a week ago, what I used to do was wrap my DD up and give her a bit of a cuddle, then I would put her to bed awake, and give her a kiss on the forehead and tell her it was time to have a sleep. She would fuss for a little while, and I would go in if the fussing turned to crying to give her a pat and shush her, and she would go off to sleep. It got easier the longer we did it, I guess because she learnt what to expect, and in the end she would just 'chat' to herself and not even cry at all most days.

However, things have changed this week, since I weaned her from the wrap! If I come up with any more ideas I'll let you know!

I don't know if that helps at all.

Good luck!

[fire~fly]

Im not sure if i can be of any help either but will give it a go.
are you still wrapping your bub?
i would say the reason your bub is waking every time you put her down is because she is using you as a comforter, and most likely doesnt know how to put herself to sleep.
I had huge problems with ds1's sleep so i have got Ethans self settling under control very early.
At the 5 week mark i got E self settling by wrapping him, then putting him in his bassinette (moved into cot at 8 weeks) and telling him "its time to sleep, i love you" and then leaving the room. He would fuss and cry a bit (a winding down cry, not an emotional cry). I would leave him to protest for 4 minutes after that i would go in and pat him on the bum until the crying stopped (not until he was asleep) and then i would move away out of his eyeline and if he started crying again i would pat him again until he stopped crying. It took a couple of days of perseverance but he self settles beautifully every time now. I only have to wrap him, take him to his room and close his curtains and put him in his cot and give him his cuddly and he goes straight to sleep for 2 hours!

If i was you, i would introduce a cuddly (or blankie). Ethan absolutely loves his, its so cute! When i put him in his cot, i put his cuddly next to him and lay one side of the blanket part over his shoulder (have the otherside tucked underneath his body so he cant pull it over his head if he has his arms out), then i put a cotton blanket over him to hold in place. Ive watched him when hes going to sleep and he rubs his face on the satin as hes going to sleep, or sometimes he will suck it.
Does this make sense? by the way, everything ive mentioned here i have used from the book "Save our Sleep" by tizzie hall.
let me know if it doesnt make sense, im rambling a bit!!! :ecomcity:

[petalbum]

My bub will be 14 weeks on wednesday - and we don't wrap anymore - I simply place him in his cot on his tummy :yes: rub his back or pat his bum until he is asleep(5 mins max) - then very slowly roll him on his side, and walk out of the room. He sleeps like this for anywhere from 30 mins to 3 hrs.:sleeping:

I hope you work something out soon:yes:

[Misheycat]

Hi Kali,

In a similar scenario, daytimes are usually Chloe's unsettled time, sometimes she naps other times she can be a little terror.

I have found to get Chloe to have naps I put her in her bouncer in the lounge room, I'm still wrapping her and I do admit I use a dummy a fair bit, but she falls asleep. Not the best method and I'm still reading a book on settling, been a bit slack (Save Our Sleep - Firefly seems to be onto something here! :yes:) so hope to change this method eventually and wean Chloe off the dummy, but this tends to work for me as on good days I can get 2-4hr naps.

If I try to put her in her bassinet (the same, literally as soon as she hits the mattress) she screams her head off or will sleep for 20-mins then wants to get up again. I find having her with me during the day for awake time is good for our bonding as well (we've been playing a fair bit of late has been awesome).

We will be buying a cot soon and transitioning Chloe from the bassinet so wonder if she will be any better with this?

[seanfinnsmum]

Hi,
my first bub was exactly the same, I think I ended up carrying him and rocking him for the first 9 months of his life, he just wouldn't settle unless I was holding him! Nothing worked, I guess he just grew out of it. I tried everything, read every book, and asked everyone for advice and none of it worked!

Now my second bub is 8mths old and he has been an absolute dream and always sleeps well since he was about 4 wks old!

I guess sometimes we are lucky and sometimes not so lucky for sleeping babies!

Good luck:sleeping:

[Jender]

My method was like firefly's only without the cuddly. One tip I can give you is to be consistent. Even if a method feels like its not working quickly, persist...babies get less confused with the same method, give them a chance to get used to it

[OurLittleBlessing]

Firefly - I like your idea of the cuddly, I'm going to try that tomorrow.

[Charlotte & Georgia's Mummy]

It could be that your baby doesn't want long sleeps during the day??? Does your DD sleep well at night??

My DD1 was a problem for about 6 weeks, from 6 - 12 weeks, would only sleep for 20min at a time during the day and only if she was being held........sounds like what you're experiencing. BUT DD1 ALWAYS slept well overnight, so I figured that was fine with me, and tried to enjoy the daytime cuddles.

You could try wrapping, it may not work, it may just be a stage she's going through. I honestly couldn't tell you what I did for DD1, but some kids just aren't big day time sleepers.

DD2 will happily fall asleep on her own during the day, very different to DD1, but she will often only cat nap. I always figured if I got lots of sleep overnight, I could deal with the days.

I guess it depends on whether YOU have a problem with your DD's habits or whether someone else is making you feel like you should. I know that the child and youth health nurses would tell me all the time that DD1 should be sleeping longer, and had bad sleeping habits during the day, but then when I would tell them I'd tried everything they suggested they would ask why was I worried about it............only because they made me think I should be, IYKWIM.

Not sure if any of this has helped you, but it does help sometimes to know that you will get through it, even if it takes a while.

Good luck!

[Charlotte & Georgia's Mummy]

I forgot to say, I don't have a problem with using "crutches" to help your baby to sleep.

You know your baby better than anyone else, you know how they tick, so do whatever works for you and your baby and helps you get through your day. What the experts have to say doesn't work for everyone.

I use patting, rocking, wrapping feeding atc as "crutches" to get my DD to sleep and did with DD1. So far it isn't an issue for me, and my DD will happily put herself to sleep at times too.

Anyway, what I really wanted to say was you do whatever works for you, that's just my opinion anyway.

[Alisonp]

My DS is wrapped for sleep and uses a dummy. A dummy isn't necessarily a bad thing unless your baby needs it in their mouth to stay asleep. My DS spits it our before he nods off so it is just a sleep signal for him.

Basically when he starts making his tired noise (I know what his sounds like but couldn't probably tell for another baby) I pick him up. I take him to our room and wrap him (hands in) on our bed. Then I pick him up and put him in his cot and pull the sheet/blanket over to keep him still. Then I put his dummy in and rub his little head a bit, saying "time for nigh-nighs" and then leave the room.

He doesn't cry at all :) Sometimes he breaks out of the wrap and I find him uncovered and awake so I re-wrap (in the cot) but it usually only takes about 5min and he is fast asleep. He is a great day sleeper but doesn't sleep long periods at night (about 5 hours at a time)...probably because he isn't that exhausted at bedtime. With my DD (who was not the best day sleeper) she was a better sleeper at night at this age because she was so tired at bedtime she crashed.

The earlier you can get your baby used to sleeping this way the easier and kinder it is to keep them sleeping like that..if your intention is to have a baby who sleeps independently in their cot.:yes:

The more relaxed your baby is the easier it is to get them to self-settle. If you can keep their activity relatively quiet or maybe give a massage in a quiet room before naptime this might help them to relax for a nice long nap.

Good luck!

[Mermum]

My Bub is the same.... and today I discovered the pram. Today she has been sleeping like a dream!
The pram is kool. I can take her around the house and rock her to sleep easily. Lets see how long this lasts:laughing:

[kali]

Thanks everyone. Some great advice there.
I've been perservering with the Tresillian advice but the 'patting/stroking' thing doesn't stop her crying. However I've had some success in that I found if i put her in bed the minute I see a tired sign - rather than letting her go a bit longer, there is a window of time where she'll be in the Bassinet with more of a grumble type cry rather than a distressed cry. This has allowed me to by-pass all the bouncing, walking, rocking in arms i was doing and put her straight down.

BUT - it would still inevitably progress to a full blown cry.... so.....

I was 'naughty' and introduced a dummy and miracle of miracles its helped settle her quite quickly and the last 3 sleeps she's just dropped off to sleep with it - and she seems to just let it drop out shen she falls asleep. But it has meant that we don't have to do the whole 'cry it out' thing - which to be honest just didn't seem to work. I let her go on for about 40 mins yesterday and she was just getting more more and more distressed, rather than eventually 'wind down' which is what Tresillian said should happen.

So I'm just hoping that with the help of the dummy i can disconnect that negative association she has with being put in the bassinette to sleep and gradually i can begin to wean her off the dummy. Have I just created another problem? I think that Tresillian will frown on it. They will do a follow up phone call once a week fo rthe next month with me - first one tomorrow - so I will be very interested to see what they say.

I really liked the suggestoin of a cuddly/comforter type thing that someone suggested. I'll get one tomorrow and give that a try - maybe it will help wean off the dummy.

Anyway - i think, with the help of the dummy I've seen some progress with persisting with not picking her up - slowly slowly. Lets see.

[Lahri]

Hi,

I had/have the same problem with our daughter. Up until recently I would rock her to sleep, put her down and she would either cry straight away or within a couple of minutes. It turns out that the wind we thought she had, was bad colic and laying down flat was not comfortable for her. I introduced Colief and she is so much better in herself and when I put her down to sleep.

All I seem to have to do now (resorting to a dummy though :no:) is change her nappy, put her in her cot with the dummy and sit and pat her. It can take up to 20 minutes, but she doesn't scram and that is a breakthrough. She also only sleeps for 35-45 minutes during the day, doesn't seem to need more.

She isn't well at the moment though so she isn't settling very well. Poor thing, hope she is better soon.

[littleleos]

hey kali

im loving... well aiden is loving being stroaked on his face with a really soft wool thing... a soon as it touches his face it settles him. and 5 stroakes he is off in la la land

[ellie13]

Hi there- you seem to be doing a great job!!!

I just wanted to say and ask couple of things.

First question- what is so wron with a dummy????? Why is it such a nono???? I am so happy my DD takes the dummy and it helps her settle that I give it to her at any distress time, if a cuddle isn't enough......I just don't see it as such an evil thing if it helps the whole sleeping thing, and makes mum and bub happy.

Other thing, I agree with that every child is so different, and it is not necessary you who is doing anything wrong. I've had a really bad sleeper first time round, and I mean bad as in day and night, and as time progressed she just got worse and worse, and everyone (health prof) were pointing fingers at me.......the ususal, technique, do this and that.....but finally at 2.5 yo they listened- and lo- she had a sleep disorder. So also look into health probs, if it is bad- like colic or something.

And as someone else said- does it bother you????Sometimes there is too much advice on how it is supposed too all work and look like, that we get too owerwhelmed with info.

I really wish you all the best Kali, and hope that it will all work out really good for you, and you can find what works.

Just to say, I haven't changed any of my techniques at all, from DD1 and DD2, and DD2 is a wonderful sleeper,she basically forced me to let her self settle, she hates it when I try to settle her, she loves to settle herself- bubs do let you know what they need and want- trust yourself- you are the mom- you know best.

[KatieLou]

Hi,
I hope you don't mind if I jump in from Sept here.
My bubs won't sleep in her bassinet during the day either. She goes through phases where she will, but most of the time she just screams.
I have a swing though and it works wonders. I put her in awake and she can play until she's tired. The constant swinging rocks her off to sleep easily and resettles her when she wakes. She seems to like being in the middle of it all during the day, knowing what's going on. She will sleep for hours in it. The only prob is that I won't have a lie down when she's in it just in case something goes wrong, so I make sure I see all is ok regularily.
I spoke to the mchn about it and she said that if the swing works then go with it.
Good luck, I hope you find something that works!