How do i share my DD?

[OneNowOneLater]

Ok, this is gonna be a bit of a ramble, so bear with me....

I've recently gotten engaged to my DF, and he wants to take on the fatherhood role for J.

Long story short, he's been her main male role model for her entire life (he was the first male to ever hold her too) and now that we're engaged, he wants more of an active role in her life.... Its only been J and I for almost two yrs now.

But for some reason, i'm having a really really really hard time sharing J with him. eg. I took down her cot the other week, and put the single bed in its place. To me, it symbolised my baby turning into a big girl (IYKWIM) and i needed to do it by myself... But he got his "nose out of joint" cos he wanted to do it with me....:banghead: This has happened a few times now, with various things..... We always talk through it, and he seems to understand my reasoning behind it...

How do i let him closer when it comes to symbolic things like this? I dont want to keep pushing him away like this. ARGGH!!!!!!!!

Does anyone have any advice that could be helpful at all?????

TIA

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Maybe get him to take the photographs, so you have a memory of these milestones and he stays out of the way but still makes himself useful?

[JJJ&D'sMum]

Becoming engaged doesn't just mean that you're sharing your own life with him....you're sharing everything and becoming a family unit therefore you're actually sharing DD even though you don't realise it.

NCB had a great idea....maybe you could get DF to help with more and more things each day so that you can gradually get used to the idea of sharing DD.

I'm not sure if I've been of any help but I do know what you're going through. I was in the same position 7-8yrs ago when we moved up here to be with DP. It takes time and does work out in the end. Good luck and best wishes.

[trucelizzie]

I still think of DD as ONLY mine sometime.Three years of raising her bymyself. even though DP and i have been together just over 2 years have lived together coming up 1 and have 8 months old DS together..
I guess it is hard to share after doing it by yourself for so long..

[cocobambino]

As you know Ive been there...

It was hard, so hard, I wanted to do everything for her, even now 5 years later i feel guilty for leaving her with DH or if he tells her off or gets to see her do something i missed, but what i think to myself if DH didnt come along she wouldnt have a father she wouldnt get to expereience all the daddy daughter things and I wouldnt get to experience a family a REAL family, it gets easier with time but you have to let him in even if its baby steps I think its wonderful he is wanting to get so involved and i was in tears the day DH asked if DD would call him "daddy" it was the most amazing thing i had ever heard.

You know where I am:hugs: