need to get it out

[Myztiks#1Fan]

well i am just so over being a single mum. i hate having to do everything by myself. hate not even getting help from my sister. i dont ask alot from her but she wont even mind coop for 5mins or so while i go downstairs to hang some washing out.

i am sick of sitting at home most weekends wasting my youth. guess not having many friends doesnt really help either and i dont like relying on caroline all that much. she is already taking him at end of month for me so i can attend the work xmas party which i am not all that thrilled about anyway(the party that is).

i hate that i have nobody to help me when coop is sick or even when i am sick. i still gotta do everything whether i like it or not. over the past 3 or so weeks, i have had the most interrupted sleep. coop is up and down. sometimes i leave him to cry and that can go on for at least half hour. i just really cant be bothered getting up coz i am that tired. usually i will then get him n bring him into bed with me but he then doesnt want to sleep, he wants to hit me and pull my hair. i ignore him as much as i can but thats not always the case.

i love coop with all my heart but sometimes i feel as though he deserves better. i wish that i could provide for him a happy family, a family where there was myself and a male role model for him, someone who he can look up to and admire. but no, i cant even do that.

thanks for reading. i know there are so many other ppl out there doing the same thing as me even if they are partnered however i just wanted to get it out as i am just having a really hard time dealing with it atm.

[TKK]

Can't read and not post. Even if just some of these :hugs:.

I've been following your story for a while and you stand out on BubHub as one of the most amazing people. You are gracious and caring, put up with soooo much with your sister, love Coop like crazy. Even when you experienced some tough times you reached out for help, listened to everyone's advice, developed a great bond with Carolyn and worked really hard to get everything back on track. I honestly, truly take my hat off to you for being an amazing person.

I know you work full time so maybe you can look at some weekend options. Catch at train to Southbank and go to the State Library's The Corner. I often go there on weekends to let DD play with the other kids (aka steal their toys and run off giggling - yep, I've got *that* child :o ) and always, without fail, find myslef deep in conversation with another mother or father by the end of the stay.

IMO, what Coop deserves is a mother who tries pretty hard, works to do her best, is always striving further and who loves Coop very much. Sure its only the internet and I don't know you in person but from what I've read that certainly describes you.

Chin up and go forth :D

[lovingmotheract]

well said tkk. i know you think it's unfair with everything but i don't have anyone to look after dd and if i ask my parents i get i suppose so look it's like i have to twist there arm.

and if you guys are getting sick all the i don't know if you are or not find places that have organic fruit and veg and try and make something with veg every dinner time.

and if your having trouble with sleep go find help Hun. and you know you can do it and if you need help just reach out and tell someone.

[Myztiks#1Fan]

thanks for you replys. lately i have been thinking lots. most of it is what would life be without coop, would it be easier? where would i be at this point in my life? when i had him i was so young(21- and for me, it was too young as i really wasnt ready). i also feel as though i am just missing out on so much out in the world. i dont socialise all that much, having so called friends who have no time for you and wont come over if you ask them to as they know you cant go out.

with sleep atm, its mainly coz he has not been given a break with teething. he just got 4 molars in and now he has another 2 coming through. i dont normally go to bed til late however if i am that exhausted i just crash while watching tv at night.

in a way i am happy with things but in another i am not. better head off and watch coop. he is eating his brekky, well hoping he is eating and not putting it everywhere:laughing:

[lovingmotheract]

it sounds like you are better today.

and i hear ya on the friends part i have had friends like that as well so i know how you feel. but i just don't care anymore about friends as they come and go but family is for life.

[OneNowOneLater]

You have my number B.... Remember, its on 24/7!

[Myztiks#1Fan]

i feel so selfish for what i wrote. i should be grateful for what i have. this is just a stage in our life and it will get easier as coop gets older. guess i am mainly sick of being lonely and not having much contact with the world. plus it doesnt help that i have quite a bit to worry about atm as well so its gotta come out somewhere and here is the best place for it. with coop, work, sister, parents, so much to deal with and only so much i can take at a time.

yeap, i have your number still bec but no credit. btw, wish miss j a happy birthday if i dont speak to you before her bday. coop will send some dancing vibes down your way:laughing:

[sunnyflower]

I sure wish your selfish sister would help out more.

I think you are an amazing person and mum as well.

I hope you feel better soon..:hugs:

[OneNowOneLater]

Will do.... I'll give u a call later in the week... Probably after i get home on Wednesday night.....

[Myztiks#1Fan]

tonight i will get a good night sleep as coop has gone to carolines house as he threw up this afternoon and its a break i kinda need atm to catch up on sleep. he was excited to go, he even dragged his bag to the fence.:laughing:

[Myztiks#1Fan]

Will do.... I'll give u a call later in the week... Probably after i get home on Wednesday night.....

:detective: perhaps i will turn my phone off now.:laughing: just joking with ya.:laughing::laughing::laughing: