A little lost..

[1stTimeMum09]

Hi girls..I be having my little man in less then 10 weeks and I am a little lost..

I know FOB won't sign the birth certificate and I only have his name and phone number..I sent him endless texts and asking him if will sign it and nothing..I know he won't do anything about it at all and I haven't heard from him for like 4 months or so..I can see it that I will have trouble with Centrelink and the Child support agency..

I just don't know what to do..I feel bad because my son won't have a father and I try to be the best mother I can for him..

Just wanted to see what you ladies say and if any of you been through the same thing..

Kirsten

[toni796]

I am not a single mum and have not gone through what you are going through.

I do suggest though that you get onto the child support agency and start enquiring about what the process is for fathers that don't sign the birth certificate. I think that if they refuse then they can be made to do a DNA test to make sure that they are the dad. I am not sure though and I think there was someone on here not to long ago that went pretty much through the same kind of thing as you.

I hope you get it sorted it must be a pretty stressful situation and I am sorry that you have to go through it.

[moonblossom]

I just wanted to give you these :hugs::hugs::hugs:

I really hope you have good family support.

Please do as Toni said, they will help you out.

Many blessings to you and your Son :)

[cinnamonbear]

cal csa

start a case tell them he hasnt signed birth certificate but u do have his number

they will try to contact him and get him to sign a stat dec declaring he is the father

if they cant or he refuses to sign

they will then send u a rejection letter.. sayign that cant start a case due to not beign able to establish paternity

hold onto this letter will explain y in a bit

take this letter to legal aid and tell them you need to establish paternity to claim child support.. tell them u want this sorted otu before your centrelink benifits are reduced.

they will then get u to affidavits staign the father..

then they will contact the father.. either through the info u provide to fidn him or they can track him dwon through atx records and so on

they will then ask him again to sign stat dec.. or agree to paternity test

if he refuses both it will then go to court where the judge will order him to take the paternity test

if he never turns up for the testing after a few attempts to get him to do ti the judge will deem him the father without the test

once paternity is established the judge will then deem a section 106a..

which entitiles you to claim child support and be back dated from orginally claim you put in ( hence why you hold onto that 1st rejection letter.. dont reapply as the back date goes from the last time you applyed).

Also once Paternity is established FOB has to pay the Full cost of the DNA test.. ( legal aid will pay for your half before the results are know...so he will then need to reemburse them).

I have been through all of this with my daughters father

he is still not on the birth certificate by his choice but he is now paying child support because of the judges orders

if you find your partner doesnt pay een withb the orders get onto csa.. and they will set it up to take it straight from his employer.. they will first warn him this is what is about to happen if u miss or you are late for one more payment

depending on how much of a PITA you FOB is it can be a lengthy emotionally draining process but try to keep your chin up because in the end it all does get sorted out


......


dont feel bad your son doesnt have a father this is not your fault in any way.. his father is to blame for this

and your vchild will realise this when he is older and trust me he will not hate you

And im sure your doign an awsome job being his mum.

if you need any help adive or to vent feel free to pm me as i been there done that so know ezactly how you feel

:hugs::hugs:

[1stTimeMum09]

Thanks guys for your help..I feel a little bit better now..I think I will ring up CSA and see what they have to say and stuff..FOB is a very big PITA and it's going to be one hell of a journey that's for sure..

Thanks once again..

[Larski]

Hi honey,

I love how you have already named your little man!

I was in the exact same situation as you only I know a lot more details about FOB. My story has been documented here alot - strangely there were alot of us going through the same stuff at the same time on here - and I dont want to go into details again.... but just wanted to tell you that DS is here now, almost 6 months old and a delight, the light of my life. I wish I would have been able to fast forward time and see how happy I would be - it would have saved me alot of stress at the time. So hang in there, things do get better.

PM me anytime if you need to talk more.

[NewBeginnings]

Hun,

I am so sorry you are having to go through all this cr@p! It's not fair on you or your unborn son! :hugs:

I don't have any advice.... as my DS isn't born yet,.... but I can see myself having the same problems as you.... so if you don't mind I'll butt in too... :o

With the ringing CSA for the child support... can that be done now? or do we need to wait til bubs is born?

Also if they don't pay and they get it taken from their work pay? how many payments do they need to miss before you can set that up?

Also what costs is there to pay for for the Legal Aide and DNA etc from our side?

Thanks girls!

And sorry again hun! Hopefully it doesn't prove to be too painful for either of us!

But congratulations on your son! They are absolute blessings! :hugs:

[meeka2k]

Hi Kirsten,

Look like you've got some great advice there, the main thing being not to stress!!

ditto what Kieren said, do NOT feel bad about your son not having a father, that is beyond your control and definitely not your fault!

I am sure you will be the best Mum your little boy could ever ask for ☺

[Mum2Lucas]

hi i had my little girl 6 weeks ago and am in a similar position. csa said that they couldnt start a claim because i didnt know DD's fathers dob. which they need to make sure they arent after the wrong person. but definitely call and see.

[justme77]

hey

the process is as above...

you cant put in a claim with csa until bubs is born, but in the meantime, try to gather any information u can about FOB. even if you have to do the odd stalking mission or two, anything you can find out will be helpful.

it will be a long and painful drawn out process, but the main thing to remember is that you and your little man will be just fine regardless of the outcome.
i know its hard when your pregnant but once little ryley is here, it wont seem so important.

Best of luck....

:)

[1stTimeMum09]

Hi girls sorry it took me so long to reply..

I rang up CSA and they are sending me out a pamphlet about paternity test and stuff..They said to tell Centrelink that parentage is unknown until paternity is found out..

I can't really stalk him as I don't drive and he doesn't respond to messages as ringing him won't help as he probably just hang up anyway..If I can't gather as much information then I just have to leave it I guess nothing much I can do..

I feel so bad and hopeless for getting knocked up to some random guy who I was casual seeing and wasn't a boyfriend at all (if you get what I mean)..I hope I find a solution...Thank you for all your replies I appreciate them all..:)

Kirsten