Has anyone just not discussed it at all?

[pinkgingham]

When I was pregnant with my first, the issue of circumcision just never came up. we never talked about it, it was just a non-issue. we were never asked from either side of the family or from friends.

i guess it was just assumed that it wasnt even worth talking about because neither of us would even think of doing it. for the record, yes my sons father is not circumcised. although i am not sure how much that plays into it since we never even discussed it.

i do know that neither of my 2 brothers are done, yes they did have problems not being done but my mother had it fixed without resorting to surgery. (i dont know specific details as they were pre pubescent when they started having problems and well its none of my business lol) so i am guessing my mothers stance on it is to leave boys intact. i dont know what the IL's stance on it is as i dont know anything about her boys being done or not and whether having issues or not. as far as i know with my childrens father, he has never had any issues being uncircumcised. so i guess because its not done on either side of the family, that it would be the reason they never asked us either.

whether you both as parents are for or against it, did you both just not talk about it at all because both of you assumed it was/wasnt being done?

because until bubhub, i had never even realised that people still circumcised their sons :o i just thought it was an old fashioned thing that people used to do and its just not the done thing anymore.

i hope i'm making sense :o

[OJandMe]

The topic never came up with my father and my step-mother when my little brother was born.

The topic never came up with BIL and SIL when their son was born.

The topic never came up with my sister and BIL when their son was born.

(all those men were circed)

The topic never came up with my sister and her ex when their son was born. (he wasn't circed)..

I think the issue is more 'undiscussed' than discussed really... I think a lot more women bring it up when they're expecting boys, probably through being members of a parenting forum. :cool:

[Myztik]

*raises hand* yep, that was me with DS1 :yes:

I never gave it a thought until someone (hospital staff I think) asked me if I was going to or not.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Yes, I discussed it whilst pregnant with my son.

His father already had a son and did not circumcise him. Purely because it was never discussed.

For a few reasons, I did want to circ my little boy. But his father did not.
So I lay off and it didn't happen. Now, I figure while I would have liked to get it done, the result still leaves him with two options. He can either circ or leave it the way it is. If I had already circed, the opportunity would not be there and it isn't possible to glue foreskin back on.

Meh.

[stellarella]

I have never discussed it in a "should we get it done" context.

No one mentioned it to me, no one asked me if I was getting it done, no one suggested it. DP and I never discussed it.

I have discussed the topic of RIC at length though with many members of my family and also friends.

[Issey]

i always had strong views so my husband new it wasn't up for discussion. one thing i am very passionate about, so much so i refuse to discuss it with friends that do it to their boys as they won't like what i have to say :no:

we also have other family views (his mother & sis) which are opposite to mine.

[333]

I turned to my partner one day at 6 months pregnant and said "You know if it's a boy we're not circ'ing right?".
Does that count as discussing it?:laughing:

[pinkgingham]

i was starting to think that it was a bit strange that my sons father and i just never discussed the issue of circumcision. i didnt realise that midwives ask you in the hospital. i was never asked there either.

i am actually glad i have never been approached about it, especially since i have read on here how some people have pressure from either side of the family to have it done. because even before i was informed about the facts, its highly likely i still would have chosen against it. i wanted to give birth drug free before i read anything regarding it on places like bubhub.

i think with a lot of the parenting decisions we've made with our children, we've just gone with whats more 'natural'.

but i was just interested to see how many people had not discussed it at all even if you both sort of knew you were going to have it done.

even though i am anti-circ i didnt start this thread to start a debate lol. just thought i'd add that, knowing how these threads go in this section.

[NewBeginnings]

I didn't discuss it as such! :laughing:

DS's father was against it, so that was easy.

This son's father wants it done... and I put him in his place and told him what I'd do to him if he dare touched my son like that! :devil: does that count as discussion! :cool::laughing:

[pinkgingham]

I turned to my partner one day at 6 months pregnant and said "You know if it's a boy we're not circ'ing right?".
Does that count as discussing it?:laughing:


I didn't discuss it as such! :laughing:

DS's father was against it, so that was easy.

This son's father wants it done... and I put him in his place and told him what I'd do to him if he dare touched my son like that! :devil: does that count as discussion! :laughing:

:laughing: yeah thats discussed lol. but there was none of that even for me. after being on here i only just realised that a lot of the issues that are discussed on here, that so many people get so argumentative over, have just never come up with my childrens father or with mine or his family.

but God Bless the internet and places like this because it makes me more informed about certain issues and makes me think about how i would feel about it should i be approached about it. :thumbsup:

[Milliner]

I had a friend with a son ask me if we were going to get it done when we found out we were having a boy. The conversation went a little like this 'we are not getting him circumcised', Paul ' OK, it's not really done now days anyway'.

That was it.

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

Yes we discussed it and both said "no way are we getting our son done".

It was also bought up at the hospital by a rude relative who said "I just don't agree with your choice"
Umm nice of you to inform me when I just had a baby and I feel really hormonal!

[bubontheway2029]

Yes we discussed it when we were still dating. I told him at that point that if I ever have a son, he must be circumcised (as DH at that stage was against it) and that if the father of my future son didnt agree we couldnt get married. This is not because I think circumcision is good or bad for our boy, but because it is a fundamental part of the jewish identity, and I was not going to back down on this point, EVER, and Ive seen too many relationship breakdowns over this issue to know that I needed to be very clear on this from the start. I will not even go into an argument about it with anyone. My DH tried to point me in the direction of lots of opposing views about circumcision, but there was no point. He didnt have to marry me or have a baby with me at that stage. I was honest with him about my views, and after he discussed it with other jewish men that he respected, he changed his opinion about it. DH is not circumcised btw.

[2and2istrouble]

We haven't discussed it all. Just hasn't been something we've talked about.

[mummeeto2]

Our discussion was non-verbal. At the ante natal class the midwife put some 'agree' 'disagree' & 'undecided' signs on the floor & asked our opinions on different things. We all had to stand near the sign of our thoughts (hope that makes sense) For circ'ing I was undecided, DH was at disagree so I didn't push it. I figured he has a penis (he's circ'd) so he's the best one to decide about our son's.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

It was discussed, it was argued.

But now, boy or not, it won't be discussed.
DS is not done so any other little boys I have will be left to their own devices as well.

[Whispers]

has never ever come up ds is 4 and half now. Nether of our families agree with it.

However it has come up with my sister and she dosnt even have a boy nor iseven pregnant with one but wants a boy and her partners family are very reglious and in the catholic church and her dp would want it done

[earthfairy]

yes, DH & I have discussed it - even before we got married & we both agreed on our decision if this baby or any in the future are boys.

[naiwen]

I said, I am not having our son circed and he said - I agree!

[SassyMummy]

We discussed it when I was pregnant... we didn't know I was having a girl.

It was very simple though.

Me: "You're not wanting for it to get circumcised if it's a boy are you?"
Him: "No."
Me: "Good."

That was about it. :p

[reAllytee]

Not while pg nope .... Wasnt an issue let alone a topic !

Had far better things to worry about what colours to paint the nursery & what names I preferred :laughing:

The only reason it became a discussion point with Boof was because of doctors & with G well it was blatantly obvious why we had to discuss it with or without doctors !

We havent talked about it with any family nor friends really either .... No I lie ! We did have one of our friends partners ask if we got Boof done after a comment was made I think not sure was rather wierd !

[floodprincess]

We never discussed it. With DD1 we didn't know what we were having - but it was not discussed.

DH is done, as is the rest of his family. Personally, I was undecided with DD1 (had she been a DS) but probably wouldn't have gotten it done. AND in hindsight there was NO WAY if DD2 ends up being DS1 (although there was def no sign of a doodle last scan) it's happening.

One of my nephews was circed when he was a toddler (3 or 4 I think) and it was the worst intolerable cruelty I could imagine (mind you I'm not sure if it was for medical reasons or not). No way would I put a kid through that regardless of their age!!!

And if DH disagrees he can just put up with my choice - I go through the pain of labour; I'm not deliberately putting my child through something that's probably the equivalent!!

[Lillynix]

It was a non-issue in this house. No son of mine would be circed, end of story. Regardless of what DH's opinion was.

I asked DH his thoughts out of curiosity, he said he was against it, I said great, it was done and dusted. Dh is circed too, but doesn't see the point and agrees it's cruel.

[Bron]

Our "discussion" went like this -

Me - If it's a boy, we're not circ-ing
Him - God no.
Me - thought you'd agree.
:D

My MIL tried to raise it once, she said "it's a tough issue that needs considering" My response "Nah, it's a no-brainer. We're not doing it".