Is your current/most recent partner circed? [Archive] - Bub Hub Pregnancy & Parenting Forum

OJandMe

31-10-2008, 21:34

Just thought it would be interesting to see the percentage of guys who are compared to who aren't among BH members.

So... are they? And has it affected your stance on circumcision?

My DH is, and I didn't know anything about cicumcision until I met him. I head that guys could be 'cut' or 'uncut'... but.. I was young, naive and DH was my first 'proper' experience, so the first guy who's 'bits' I actually paid attention to.

84zsazsa

31-10-2008, 21:37

My DH isnt and neither is my son (not for the reason that DH isnt)

To be honest out of all the men I have been with only 1 was cut...and no the number is not huge but average...:D

Danni

Milliner

31-10-2008, 21:37

Yes, he is. He is 30 so I think age is a large factor into the numbers. I've been with a couple of younger males - back in the day - closer to my age and they were all un-cut.

Benji

31-10-2008, 21:38

I've never had an un-circ'd partner, yet I left my DS intact. I honestly just don't even think about penises very often lol I thought it best to leave it up to DS.

Chunkydunks

31-10-2008, 21:39

DH isn't done. It didn't change my view on it though. Although all 3 of my brothers are done and 2 of my nephews are its just something that never sat right with me.

NibbleCurlynBub

31-10-2008, 21:39

Mine is. :yes:

I am neither pro nor negative to circing.

However I do not think that my sexual preference should have any bearing over my decision for my son. :no:

84zsazsa

31-10-2008, 21:40

Yes, he is. He is 30 so I think age is a large factor into the numbers. I've been with a couple of younger males - back in the day - closer to my age and they were all un-cut.

My partner is turning 30 soon and my Ex is 33 and both werent cut so I dont know bout that one......:confused:

Danni

31-10-2008, 21:40

Yes, DH is circ'd, but we chose not to circ DS as we didn't want to remove a part of his body that belonged for a reason.

I asked DH once if he wishes his parents HADN'T had him circ'd, and he said "Of course I wish they hadn't, I would have preferred to be left in tact".

OJandMe

31-10-2008, 21:41

Yes, he is. He is 30 so I think age is a large factor into the numbers. I've been with a couple of younger males - back in the day - closer to my age and they were all un-cut.

That's true. Age would be a factor. DH is in his 30's too.

stellarella

31-10-2008, 21:41

No my partner is not circumcised however he is the first person I have been with who isn't.

It definitely has not changed my stance. There is no way I would have had my son circed even if DP was circed. I wouldn't make such a huge decision based on that and as soon as I gave it a second thought and did some research the decision would have been clear to me.

Many families with circed fathers make the decision to stop the cycle of circumcision and I congratulate them. My father stopped it by not having my brother circed. My FIL stopped it by not having his sons circed :thumbsup:

NibbleCurlynBub

31-10-2008, 21:42

My partner is turning 30 soon and my Ex is 33 and both werent cut so I dont know bout that one......:confused:

Danni
Mine is 34 and is.

84zsazsa

31-10-2008, 21:45

Mine is 34 and is.

I dont think it makes a difference...like anything there will be heaps in that age group that are and arent. My partner has 3 older bros in their 30's that arent either.

Danni

Mum&bubs

31-10-2008, 21:46

My DF is circed but my previous boyfriend before him wasn't.

I don't have any son's so I don't think about circumsion that much at all, I really don't know how I sit with it. I don't really care if you circ your son- and I don't really care if you don't.

If I ever had a son I doubt I'd be getting him done, despite DF wanting him to be just like him :rolleyes:

~*clairesmum*~

31-10-2008, 21:47

all the guys ive being with are all around my age give or take a few yrs n were "intact"
i have being with someone that is now 38 n is done

Oliver isn't done n never will be, my brother isnt done but my dad is, my mum thinks that they are born with it for a reason so it should stay there unless it needs to be cut off for a medical reason only n i believe that to

But sometimes my DH wish he was but that was cause most of his mates were done so he was the black sheep, he wanted claire to be done if she was a boy luckly she was a girl n then this time he didnt even mention wanting to get Oliver done

pinkgingham

31-10-2008, 21:47

my most recent partner, my ex-my childrens father-isnt done. neither was the guy before him. only one guy i have been with had it done, i prefer uncircumcised. i dont think being with mainly uncircumcised guys has affected my decision. when our DS was born, it wasnt even discussed whether we would have him done or not. and neither of our families had asked us if we were having it done or not. i hadnt even thought it was an issue til bubhub. but once i knew the facts, i was really glad that my son is intact but even if i the issue had come up when i was pregnant with DS, i know that i wouldnt do that to him. i just couldnt.

Milliner

31-10-2008, 21:49

My partner is turning 30 soon and my Ex is 33 and both werent cut so I dont know bout that one......:confused:

Danni

I do. I can tell you know that back in the 70's a LOT more baby boys were being circumcised than they are now. You partner/ex must be the lucky ones.

Milliner

31-10-2008, 21:50

I dont think it makes a difference...like anything there will be heaps in that age group that are and arent. My partner has 3 older bros in their 30's that arent either.

Danni

I will find you the stats.

bubbleyblossom

31-10-2008, 21:51

I didnt know what to say because my partner is not circumcised but I am unsure if I am for or against it. As far as I know he has had no issues

84zsazsa

31-10-2008, 21:54

I will find you the stats.

Not that concerned and I do know it was popular in the 70's....just adding from experiance I havent yet come across a 30 something that was cut thats all :)

Danni

Milliner

31-10-2008, 21:58

Peak was in 1955 - at 90% - So most of OUR dads are circ'd

In the 70's neonatal circumcision rates were at 60%

In the 80's rates were at 40%

In the year 2000 they were at 12% and currently are around 10%

Age is a major factor. 30ish year olds were born in the 70's were rates were 20% higher than in the 80's and has been on the decrease ever since.

http://www.historyofcircumcision.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=category&sectionid=6&id=71&Itemid=50

Mathermy

31-10-2008, 22:03

DH (29) is.

We won't be circ-ing our sons, DH full supports me on this and I luffs him for it:valentine:

My son may not get to "look like his daddy" but I sincerely hope he inherits his kind & sensitive heart :goodvibes:

Bunnyhugs

31-10-2008, 22:04

OJandMe

31-10-2008, 22:08

NibbleCurlynBub

31-10-2008, 22:09

:laughing: Yeah.. Just one less thing to have to think about.

stellarella

31-10-2008, 22:13

My dad is. My brother isn't.

My BIL is. His son isn't.

They didn't make the choice not to circ to break any cycles....

They just don't think about their penises in that way. :laughing:

I think that most guys don't really give it much thought really. If it works, it's all good, baby! ;)

Actually most guys give a great deal of thought to their penises ;)
Especially those who have penises which don't "work" that well anymore.

And I still congratulate those whose decide to break the cycle whether it be conscious or unconscious.

mumofKieran

31-10-2008, 22:13

My husband is circumcised. Our son is not. I see him as a product of his generation largely. He is 4 years older than me (he is 32) and my mother said that when she had me, they were first starting to really question it and some doctors were refusing to do it for the first time.

DH's mother is not someone who would have 'rocked the boat' so to speak. She would have done what was the done thing at the time.

Miriam

31-10-2008, 22:14

My DP is circed and I am very against circing. If I have a son I would not have it done :no:

DP is also against circing and is very resentful about being done himself . I get very upset for him :(.

stellarella

31-10-2008, 22:15

DH's mother is not someone who would have 'rocked the boat' so to speak. She would have done what was the done thing at the time.

And this is what I mean. Some people choose to do differently and it is those people who make change happen :thumbsup:

JJJ&D'sMum

31-10-2008, 22:16

My XH isn't but my DP is and it has no bearing on my decision not to circ any of my 3 boys. I figure if they were born with it then it's meant to be there unless there is a medical problem that says otherwise.

When I was pg with DD, DP stated that if she was a boy he wanted her circed. That decision didn't need to be made as we had a girl. Now that we have a little boy, DP hasn't even mentioned having him done cos I think he is fully aware that I'd refuse anyway.

It doesn't matter that DS3 isn't 'like daddy' in that way....what matters is that they have a bond as father and son.

dormouse

31-10-2008, 22:29

DH is but DS is not.
We had the discussion when I was preg with DD & DH said that he didnt really have a opinion on the matter & I was pretty adament that I didn't want to do it so we decided not to. MIL tried to convince us that it was cleaner & more comfortable for the boys to be cut but I showed her the research that I had done & she shut up. It ended up not being an issue as we had a girl, & no one has said a word about it since we had DS so I must have gotten my point across well.

Laksa

31-10-2008, 22:35

i am 31 and i think all my partners have been circ'd. my son is not.

interestingly, my husband and my brother are the same age but my bro is not circ'd.

Chunkydunks

31-10-2008, 22:44

NewBeginnings

31-10-2008, 22:45

None of my partners have ever been circ'ed :no:

And neither of my sons are/will be either!

Emsmum85

01-11-2008, 08:04

I can't really answer the poll cause my partner's is half and half LOL poor B*******. He was with his ex gf and he went to *ahem* and it turns out she wasn't "ready" and it pulled his foreskin back and ripped it! He has a lot of the extra skin, so if we ever have a son, we will discuss with a paed on what to do.

tyler's mum

01-11-2008, 08:29

All of my partners have been circ'ed (thats the way i like em:p) If i had a boy i would get him circ'ed

01-11-2008, 08:46

My dp is a wierd case, he seems to have had a small amount of foreskin taken off, and his adoptive mum was told that he had had some issues with urinating ie he couldn't, it was too tight, so a small part was taken off to release the pressure.

He's half and half :)

He never ever expressed the desire for his sons to be circed, thought it was a stupid idea, but we were a little concerned for a while when our first son seemed to have trouble peeing as well, he's fine though, no modifications necessary thank goodness!! :)

I too cannot really remember previous partners! :laughing:

My dad is circ, and get this...he only reason he was circed was because the family doctor was JEWISH, and he recommended it, and did it... :barf::eek:

And the current Australian numbers are about 10%?? Wow, I'm rather heartened to hear that! :)

mummyof5

01-11-2008, 08:46

Only one man I have been with wasn't...it's that 60% rate, I guess, and my partner is. My brother and nephews are, but my sons & SS are not.
My only concern is my disabled son taking proper care of it, when he is too old for me to bath him anymore.

floodprincess

01-11-2008, 09:08

My DH is circed and I'm open to circumscion (can't spell today - sorry)....however, that doesn't mean I'd do it if I had a boy.

To be honest, I left the question on the hospy booking form blank because I was in two minds. Am kinda glad I don't have to worry about it now that I know I"m having another girl :)

mummeeto2

01-11-2008, 11:19

DH is, DS isn't. DH was a bit worried about the pain factor, I wasn't worried either way so we left him intact. When he's older he can get it done if he wants or if he has a medical problem we'd look into getting it done. We figured that if we'd have to teach a girl to wash properly, so what's the difference in teaching a boy to wash himself properly.

SassyMummy

01-11-2008, 11:26

Yeah, he is... but I'm against RIC.

He was circumcised as a baby, just like the majority of circed adults.

It doesn't change my position, but it does make it harder to be so openly anti-circumcision, because I can't throw around the kinds of words I might usually use (like "cruel" etc), because I have to consider the feelings of his family who chose for it to happen, and also make sure I don't make out that I think there's something "lesser" about his penis because he is circed.

It's a hard thing to get across... I don't think there's anything wrong with him, and I think his penis is beautiful... but if I went on an anti-circ rant, it could so easily be taken personally.

I've been with a few guys... some who were, some who weren't... one who was "half" done because the doctor did some dodgy job...

crazyaboutbubs

01-11-2008, 12:10

My DP is not circumcised but I don't think that his case would change how i felt about it. I do not want to circumcise if i have a boy.

Emsmum85

01-11-2008, 13:16

Mamalicious: Want to hear the funniest thing about it? Everyone was home when they were "busy" and it happened, so he starts screaming they all race out there where she's naked, he's naked, grabbing his crotch (which was bleeding) and his Aunty is a Nurse and made him take his hands away so she could look at it and make sure he didn't need to go to hospital!! LOL:laughing::laughing::laughing:

He shouldn't have been with that girl in the first place:shame:

01-11-2008, 13:38

dillydAlly

01-11-2008, 13:50

My DF is Circ'd... He is 43.......

We have discussed it and I am fairly open to the idea. Doesn't mean that I want to get it done though... I think that it is a huge decision to make and YES i agree that it is cutting a part of a child's body off.....

I have only ever had ONE partner who wasn't circ'd and to be honest it really doesn't make a difference to me at all...

BubbaNoogie

01-11-2008, 17:46

Hubby is, and if we have a boy he will not be.
Very anti-circ in this house!

munchie

01-11-2008, 18:08

nope ex isnt circ.. and i dont agree with circumsing

♥Heaven Sent♥

01-11-2008, 19:55

Df is not circed,and i am against circumcision i would never have my son done it is his body therefore his decision.

Areca

01-11-2008, 19:58

DH is intact but I was anti RIC before meeting him.

I knew from a very young age that I'd never circ. A boy that lived across the road from my mum's best friend was a vegetable due to his circ (that went horribly, horribly wrong) I was about 6 or 7 when I asked my mum what was wrong with him and I was told hs story. Of course I didn't form an opinion on it there and then, but growing up that memory always stuck with me. It was only after having a baby that I learnt more about how unnecessary it reaaly was. I'm just lucky that it was an argument DH and I never had to have because I wouldn't have backed down.

twotrunks

01-11-2008, 20:38

My DH is done, as were all of his footy mates, apparently there is a big difference between country and city, or was in the past anyway. When we were PG the issue was discussed, but once DS was born my DH just said no way, he could not hurt him in any way. He's the best!!
And you know its funny, DHs parents have never asked us about DS, nor has anyone else... so I have never had to defend our decision. In our town you can't even get a baby circed at the public hospital, and there are only a couple of Drs who will do it at the private, so it is becoming less and less popular, even though we are technically a country area.
TT

Tan-mumof3

01-11-2008, 21:02

My DH is circed.
He was done due to a problem he had when he was younger.
Neither of my boys are done & wont be unless they need be for medical reasons or they choose to be when they are adults.

Roopee

01-11-2008, 21:31

My Dh is but my boys are not.

JohnC

27-02-2009, 16:29

1. This is a very interesting poll because it resoundingly demonstrates that circumcision status of the father plays a dominant role in attitudes towards circumcising children. While 47% of mothers whose partners are circumcised are "open to circumcision", only 11% of those whose partners are intact would consider it for their sons.

This is of considerable significance because the proportion of intact fathers will be rising rapidly over the next decade. It would be excellent if more mothers could answer this poll, to see if these numbers hold up.

2. We now have very good information about circumcision prevalence in Australia as a result of a large-scale survey. The raw data from this survey has now been made available for statistical geeks like myself :detective:

I have crunched this into a graph of historical circumcision prevalence (http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3422/3313539234_cda2dbdca8_b.jpg) that many here might find of interest (click link to view).

GraceUnhearing

27-02-2009, 17:04

current partner isnt.

but the boys dad is done

my boys arent done

Knocked_for_six

27-02-2009, 17:05

DH is done, our sons are not. :)

GraceUnhearing

27-02-2009, 17:05

Fuchsia!

27-02-2009, 17:25

Am I the only one that can't particularly remember previous partners???:o I think it was more that I was living with DH that I become aware of it. Weird I know but it wasn't something i though of taking note of in the heat of the moment.

Don't worry i don't either! I only my ex and thats it

All of my partners have been circ'ed (thats the way i like em:p) If i had a boy i would get him circ'ed

WOuld you get him circ'd cause thats the way you like your partners?:confused:

OP- My ex was NOT circ'ed, his mum was a bit of a hippy so thats probably why, he wanted to get DS done and i said "over my dead body"

And that was the end of the discussion :p

Fuchsia!

27-02-2009, 17:26

see thats something i think is such a terrible reason to have it done!
i mean, i didnt look at my mums vagina growing up thinking oh wow they are the same!

my boys dad is done and my boys are not. their dad didnt want them done

The idea baffles me too :confused:

bada

27-02-2009, 17:28

Wow, I'm shocked that so many ppl's partners are not circumcised. I thought most adults were and that it was only in recent years that it was discouraged.
My partner is, and we would not circ a baby boy unless it was necessary for medical reasons.

sam's mum

27-02-2009, 20:14

My current husband is. He was done at 4 for medical reasons (phimosis).

My first husband wasn't.

I am anti RIC. DH is concerned in case DS has phimosis (no signs of it so far). I said that I will circ 'in case' of phimosis at about the same time we start taking out the appendix 'in case' of appendicitis.

JohnC

27-02-2009, 21:49

My current husband is. He was done at 4 for medical reasons (phimosis).

At that time (early 70s) the conventional medical "wisdom" was that any boy over the age of 3 whose foreskin was not fully retractile had "phimosis". Ridiculous, of course, but at least most know better now.

Wow, I'm shocked that so many ppl's partners are not circumcised.
If anything the proportion of intact partners in this survey (about 40%) is too low. If you look at the graph (http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3422/3313539234_cda2dbdca8_b.jpg) I posted earlier, this ratio would be expected of males with a median birth year of 1970. I would have thought the actual median birth year here would be more like 1975, which would give an intact-to-circumcised ratio of 50:50.

The reason for the discrepancy is some sort of selection bias in this little poll, and my guess is that the Bubhub community is both more Anglo-Celtic and more regional in composition than the general population.

Meanwhile the figures continue to strongly support the notion that the main indicator of whether a boy will be circumcised is the status of his father, which as others have pointed out is a very poor reason indeed.

Please, if you haven't voted yet, please do so.:smiliedance:

teenie

27-02-2009, 23:56

My DH is not circed, and neither is our son.

My brother isn't circed either, born 1972 - yet my Dad is, so no correlation there.

Grizabella

28-02-2009, 00:27

My DF is circed, and when it came to our boys I said No and that was the end of the issue. DF didn't really care either way.

Freya

28-02-2009, 00:37

My X wasn't and my X before that (ds's dad) was done... for religious reasons. My ds isn't though and neither will any of my future children.

bundymummy

28-02-2009, 09:27

DH isn't and I'm glad - I would feel so cheated if he was missing part of his penis. I like it all :p

BTW - I was and always will be against RIC, even way before I met DH.

stardance

28-02-2009, 09:32

my dad and DP's dad aren't circ'ed born 1949 and 1947
one dad born in scotland & one in australia
my DP and his brother and my brother aren't circ'ed
born 1979, 1982 and 1984 all born in australia
our son is not circ'ed...born in australia
we are against routine circumcision

BreakfastatTiffanys

28-02-2009, 10:20

Dh is intact as is our son.:)

forbetoel

28-02-2009, 10:34

My Dh is circed. I am STRONGLY against RIC, however my Dh has no real veiws for or against. He was very happy for our boys not to be done though. He is not bothered that he has been circumcised, which surprises me.

xkwzit

28-02-2009, 15:26

JohnC, it has been a while...:)

bAaM

28-02-2009, 15:35

My Ex wasnt and my now partner is.

As for me, well i am a bit of a fence sitter but sway more to anti- circ.

JohnC

28-02-2009, 16:37

JohnC, it has been a while...:)

:wave: Hi xkwzit, yes it has, although reading through the most recent threads it would seem that not a whole lot has changed, except perhaps the tone is not quite as acid (due to firm oversight, no doubt ;))

Interestingly, this little poll continues to show convincing evidence of what I guess everybody already knew: namely, boys whose fathers are themselves circumcised are at much higher risk of unnecessary genital surgery -- more than four times, it would appear.

Whether this is a result of direct paternal pressure or the desire of women to (bizarrely) impose their sexual tastes on their sons, we cannot say from this data. And while the comments to date have not shed much light on the matter, a broader look at the board suggests the latter plays a larger role.

Anyway, I look forward to another period of interesting, and hopefully constructive, discussion.

Cheers, John