Taming a Toddler! (Is this possible?)

[Cath82]

Hello everyone,

I know I just posted a new thread yesterday, but I have another question and would like some helpful tips. :o
I know this issue has probably been discussed here many times, but I need your help asap! :D
My daughter (18 months) is quite... umm...boisterous/excitable/lively when we visit...well..ANYWHERE!!
I am quite new to this experience; my son (4 years) was quite calm and sedate at that age!
My daughter often will never sit in the stroller and will run off (quite quickly) when given the chance.
Her favourite thing to do is knock over store merchandise (:o), run up to strangers for cuddles (:hugs:), and if I try to pick her up; she will scream at the absolute top of her lungs!
I feel that if I do not set some limitations with her now, then it will be difficult to in the future.
Any tips, Mums?:)

[JLUDCKE86]

:wave: Hello I am Jasmine,

I am a single mother so to speak.

I have a two year and nine month old daughter. And she is a hand full. Some times I do get really fraustrated :hair:.

I really would like to know some tips on how I can handle this full of energy child of mine.

But if anyone can help please that will help so much not just me but for all the mums that are going through this stage with their children.

[Lilyloo]

My daughter, (17 months) is exactly the same!

She's always been an extreamly active child... Has never liked the pram! Makes simple things like going to the supermarket, impossible.
She loves pulling things off shelves, bumping into other shoppers, running away from me, and if I dare try to pick her up, she'll scream and squirm out of my arms and throw herself on the floor :o...

I ended up in tears the other day at woolworths, when she ran into someones shopping trolley and got an awful bump on her head! :(

Anyway, I can't say I have any tips, but can certianly relate... :)

I'll be watching this this thread, as I'd also loves some tips on how to control a very enegetic toddler!!

[Cordelia]

Heya - I feel yoru pain!!

My daughter is 22 months and we went thru a terrible stage a few months ago so I worked so hard and put so much effort into her behaviour and I think it's paying off.

here's some of my 1st edition ideas that seem to work!!!

1. Focus on the right things she should be doing. eg. I have been so fussy that DD has to hold my hand if she's not in the pram/trolley that she's so busy being a good girl she forgets to do the bad stuff.

2. Give her plenty to think about. eg. tell her what you're looking for and get her to do as much work as possible. eg. let's fidn the bananas and put 3 in the bag. My biggest problem has been at the check-out when she just wants to run off to the stupid coin-slot-ride-thing. So she swipes the credit card and says thankyou to the cashier and helps load light things into the trolley. she's even started forgetting about the silly ride!!

3. If yuo're not prepared to follow it up don't say it. If you dont' want her touching something at home (eg. the tv or DVD collection) then always always follow it up. Then she'll know that when you say something you mean it. So when you go to the shops and she goes to pull something off the shelf and you say "don't touch" she knows you're not joking around and won't try to test you.

biggest tip out of all those - is always follow up follow up follow up. or shut up!!! DH has been followign my tips and all of a sudden when he says something now she listens whereas before it was like she was deaf.

That was a long post but it was good to synthesise my own thoughts anyway!!!!!!

PS just wanted to add Number 4 - don't say no at all if you can help it!! if it's not a big deal that she's pulling all the saucepans out of the cupboard then let her go. So she gets her chances at independance and she knows that "no" is for the important stuff.

[proudmama]

Cordelia - very very very sound advice - my ds (15mths) has started the whole tanty cycle and so i rang my mum for advice (i'm the oldest of 4 so she knows a thing or two) and she gave my almpst exactly what you said - and really emphasised on the following up thing - if you can't put up then shut up

and it has worked a treat - he has his moments when he thinks i'm not looking but we've only just started - as we are walking around woolies i get him to "carry" stuff for me (stuff that can't be destroyed before we get to the checkout) - keeps his hands busy and i can get around alot quicker without having to restock their shelves for them lol

i hope this advice helps ladies

[Cath82]

Ha! Lilyloo, you must be reading my mind!!
Cordelia, I will DEFINATELY try out your advice.
Unfortunately, I more often then not resort to bribery especially when at the shopping centre. :o
I know, I know.. this is not the solution; I am sure many mums have received the "tsk tsk" looks from strangers when baby/toddler/child all of a sudden lets loose at the shops.
I am thankful for all the kind people who often come over to ask if I need a hand whilst shopping. There have been many kind souls offer to help me settle bub when I have felt like the ground should really be swallowing me up at this point! :p
These kind strangers definately get my applause and a huge thankyou! :yelclap:

[proudmama]

it wonderful that ppl are kind enough to understand what you must be feeling and that toddlers aren't the easiest of challenges - one day soon maybe the other side will stop looking down their noses at us and give us a break

[mim1]

great advice cordelia.

I've recently been trying to take my ds to the shops without the pram or a trolley and it's a complete disaster! He can walk, he usually holds my hand, but after half an hour he just wants to 'play'. He loves to touch things ... and why not - a store like Target has lots of things of different colours, shapes, textures - it's a toddlers dream! Just not a mother's dream.

So, I've gone back to strapping him in the pram and feeding him during shopping trips. He's much less likely to be grumpy the whole time if he's eating an apple or a cheesymite scroll. At Coles the other day he was cracking it in the trolley so I bought him a toothbrush (his current favourite thing ... and he did need a new one) ... and he 'brushed' his teeth through the plastic cover for the next 15 minutes. It's amazing what will keep toddlers occupied.

So my only suggestion is to try and pram and the trolley again. Toddlers do need to understand the need not to run off. But timing is important - time it when they are not too tired, but have had some running around time before hand.

[proudmama]

mim1 - you just triggered a thought - if going back to the pram/trolley idea try tying a balloon to the pram/trolley with enough string so they can throw it but not too much that it goes far - it keeps ds entertained for hours - that and straws - give him two straws and he's the happiest kid inthe world (and his hands are occupied so no grabbing)

[Cath82]

Often when I try to sit her in the pram, she tightens her whole body up and arches her back (Several times I have had to reach back to make sure she doesn't tip the stroller back!).
So then I am trying to strap her in and by the end of the process I feel as though I have had one fantastic workout!:rolleyes:
The thing is, she NEVER seems to tire out! Oh yes, she also remembers where each and every one of those coin-operated moving Hi-5/Wiggles car things are, in all shopping centres! Even if we have only been there once or twice! If she ever runs off, these are the first places where I come running behind! Keep a look out for me...i'm the frazzled, red-faced lady! :)

[MordecaiAliVanAllenO'Shea]

One thing that helps with my DS on shopping trips is that I chatter away to him non-stop about what we're doing and what we're looking for to keep him interested and occupied. Also, where there are things he can touch I let him. So he can get things like bread and cereal boxes off the shelf, or in a department store he knows he cant touch most things but then I make sure we go to the toy section and let him have a bit of a play before we leave. He loves running but is good at stopping when I tell him, so he will ask to run, and then when I feel he is getting to far away (25m or so?) I call out "stop!" and he will stop and wait for me to catch up. I find that because I give him these chances he is better able to cope with the times there are restrictions.

Of course we still get the odd public tantrum too though!