Argh...i'm so over the battle!

[SweetSerenity]

Ds has been refused a nappie for poos for the past two weeks. He's been doing them on the toilet but 90% of the time there's tears and struggles and he holds it in a day or two longer than usual to avoid letting it in the toilet. I've been giving him rewards for when he does it and lots of praise...but even after his numerous occasions of pooing on the toilet, he's still crying and resisting...how long will this last for? It's driving me crazy! His moods are being affected by holding it in.

[jacethisa]

With my 2 oldest boys they didnt want to poo on the toilet so I relaxed and said thats fine but you need to ask me for a nappy.. We would then empty the nappy into the toilet and flush it away and wash our hands and make a game of it.. like listen to the poop hitting the water.. as gross as it is they loved it lol.. I found after a few weeks of doing this one day they just went to the toilet for poos and then never looked back..

it is quite common for children to not want to poo in the toilet in the beginning

[AM]

Sometimes it helps just to take a step back, and be quite nonchalant about the whole issue, I found my two boys really became toilet aware by themselves, I didn't have to do anything at all, except lead by example ;) and not stress out about accidents, and just simply say to them "we pee and poo on the loo" and ask them frequently if they needed to use the loo, other than that, hands off.

I think I took the same approach to toilet issues as them learning to walk, pushing the issue and turning it into a battle certainly wouldn't have helped them walk faster, it probably would have put them off altogether, I knew they would 'get' toileting eventually, it was simply a waiting game really...

Sometimes if children feel pressured to 'perform' it just causes more stress and actually gives the opposite result that we are hoping for...

All the best. :)

[SweetSerenity]

That's the thing though...he's been toilet aware for the past year as that's how long he's been doing his wees on it. I also did the emptying poos in the toilet bowl but that never made him anymore interested in using it. He did a poo at pre school without any worries... *sigh* he just keeps chopping and changing his attitude to it and i don't want to go back to nappies as he's almost 4.

[bAaM]

Sounds like he is constipated, if it is hurting him??

I would be off to the doctor.

[SweetSerenity]

Definitely not constipated as he did a poo this morning and it was soft. His poos are regular, he's just holding them in. Plus he had bad constipation earlier this year due to antibiotics and he's nothing like what he was then. Plus he's not in pain...just doesn't want to let it go in there...i just wish i knew how to make him realise that it's not scary.

[Briswegian]

my ds2 was fine with wees but was doing his poos in his undies. I gave him heaps of fluid and prunes which he loves and then I waited for the awkward pose (you have to be ready to pounce!) and put him on the toilet. I praised him for getting on the toilet and it took three runs to the toilet with him holding it in before he couldn't any longer. I encouraged him to look at where it was coming from (look between legs), then used the soft flushable wipes (just one packet while he was training) and he said that he liked those, then I got him off the toilet and let him look at it and explained it all to him. Then close the lid, flush, open the lid and MAGIC, no more poos! Now he's not scared because he know's whats happening to his body and he gets to flush.