Any TCC'ers with Step families?

[FlickC]

Hello out there,
Im going batty!
I have recently remarried, I have DS11 and Step son 12 and Step daughter 10, (from hubbys first marriage) and Step Daughter 5 (from a relationship only 12months old! I guess it was oops for DH then hey!) the Skids dont live with us.
So two BM (biological mothers) to deal with! I know its my choice to marry him but sometimes I feel I need to have my head read.:confused:

Anyhoo,
I would like to have my second child, (there are no issues with ethics here as far as DH is concerned so dont worry about that,) We both want this so much, a new leaf and a new family. Skids live with BM's. We are at an age where it's all behind us. (owever the 2 BM's are not.)
We have been TCC for 6 months. and of those 6 months, 4 have felt like 'this is it!' only to go to the loo and have all hopes flushed with one button. :crying: AF is yet again approaching(3 days away ,I will have a ticker soon)

But right now I feel like I am preggers! My BB's went sore 3 days after O, . I have gone off coffee without trying. which I thought could be my one vice to TCC. and when I am doing the housework I am covering my face for the chemicals thinking about 'my baby'. I am even doubting wether hating up leftovers is harmfull. THis, acting like I am already preggers is a feeling that didnt happen the other months of TCC.
So im wondering if my mind is playing tricks on me!!!
And to top it off one BM(who is preggars) has decieded she doesnt want DH to see his daughter this christmas, so court, here we come!......
Oh am I doing too much! sometimes I feel like I might have a breakdown, But I am strong. other times like just now when I went to the loo and saw brown spotting on 10DPO, I dont think I will cope if AF turns up now!!!:eek::raspberry::hissy: And I have given the accromyn version of the story!!
Although my boat might not be a common one, I would be happy to hear from anyone in something similar!
Best of Luck to all TCCers:thumbsup:
Flick

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Not really anything to offer..

But are you sure you want to go back to court so quickly?
Its not exactly a nice thing for the poor child to be fought over to the point of needing legal intervention..

Just wanted to say that, you really don't have to actually answer me.

[megB74]

I needed to add this :hugs:- I've been there myself and it isn't pretty. No matter what you do you feel like it isn't right and that there is no pleasing anyone.

On the upshot? There is a light at the end of the tunnel... and my 2 thank me every day for it.

My tale is a long winded one - but if you need any help throw me a PM?

[FlickC]

Hi Nibblecurlynbun, (anything for short?)
Thanks for your reply.
We havnt been to court before, and my hubby just wants to see his kids without any conflicts. Not too much to ask really, just a weekend and a holiday here and there. Even though its ideal to think of the children during litigation, There is mediation he needs to go through and providing his ex doesnt talk to D5 about the pending court case then his little girl shouldnt have anything to do with the court proceedings.
unfortunatley the alternitive of not going to court may mean children asking questions later that can be very hard to answer. "Why didnt you see me more dad?"
"Because I would have had to go to court." and it goes on.

Anyway I guess it can also come down to what the children also want and need but are not in a position to ask or are too young, and if the both parents are discreet and prudent the children dont need to even know about any legal issues.
Sorry, if I seem a little forward, its just been a frustrating road and I can feel AF clickity clacking along the baby canyon.!:banghead:
Which isnt helping anything!

Flick

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Fair enough I suppose.

I would have thought there would be something in place already as far as visitation is concerned.

Mediation is where you will NEED to start and an agreement can be made there, however if the BM refuses to respond you can go to court.

It is messy and it is awful though, avoid court if you can.

Oh, and people sometimes call me Nibble, Nibbly or NCB for short. :)

[FlickC]

Hey Nibbly

Yes of course! It would be silly of BM to let it go to court becuase I dont think they would be impressed with her saying no to our proposition and declining the advice of a mediation service.(which we enquired on last night with relationships australia, who have been very helpful.

We only want 2-3 weeks a year visitation, (which previously she has only allowed one and that was with much persuasion) we live 700kms away so its harder.
I just find myself obsessing about this, I think its to keep my mind off oct 31st (29DPO) so I am either having PMS or hopefully its more!:fingerscrossed:

Flick