Should I try for a third child.

[Mother of two wonderful girls]

Hi everyone,
Just want to hear your views on having another child. I have 2 beautiful daughters:smiliedance: , 3 miscarriages:gloomy: and I not to sure if we should try for another child. I would love to have another baby but everyone tells me that having another one is bad because it takes to much money and time. My mother say i should be happy with the two i have. My daughter are 4 years old and the second is nearly 3. I was wondering if the third child would get left out by the other 2 children:no: . Love to hear from anyone to hear what you have in your family.

[mim]

When I was TTC #3 I had everyone telling me not to have a third. And you know what - it's the best thing I have ever done. My kids are 4 1/2 and 3 and they love their little brother.
I can't help you with the third getting left out, but honestly that never occured to me!
I think you need to sit down with your partner and look at your finances long term and decide whether you can afford another baby, and look at it from a physical and emotional point of view too.
Of course another baby takes up more of your time, but if that is what you want, then go for it :thumbsup: . If you decide it's what you want, you won't regret it. I had some reservations while I was pregnant (time, how my other kids would cope) but I should have just saved the energy, I am so happy!
I would go back for another one if I was allowed!
Good luck with whatever you decide

mim xxx

[CIPOs Slave]

I have three biological children (4,2,11 mo) and a wonderful step daughter(12). When I fell pregnant with my latest, I got a heap of grief from some family members. It seems that to have 3 (or almost 4 in my case) is like it used to be to have 8, as far as public opinion go. My youngest absolutely LOVES his siblings. He is 11 months old and plays chasies with them, interacts wonderfully. My four year old looks out for him and my 2 year old mothers him. Needless to say my 12 year old absolutely adores him. He may get less one on one attention from me, but he gets endless attention from the others. There seems to be such a debate on having lots of children to only having one or two. I think it is each to their own, with pros and cons on both side. I was one of 3 (then later 4 with my step brother) and I loved having siblings. I think my family is blessed. As far as costs go, of course it costs a little more. As far as time, I find that my last settles much more easily and plays for longer by himself (or with his siblings), which actually makes it easier, I guess until they all start playing sport on a Saturday, then I will be run off my feet!! OK, so it does take more time, but also there is much more love.
Good luck with your decision!:wave:

[RuthK]

I had my 3rd 5 months ago (his siblings are 2 and 3). Very few people gave me positive support when they found out I was pregnant, saying things like "You don't want another one?, two is enough!" and "Children are not cheap you know!"

Well my little boy is a darling. His siblings adore him and he's already 'one of the gang'. I am a better mother as third time around you are over the being precious phase and everything is old hat when you've done it twice before. As a result my bub is very relaxed and happy. I recently had professional photos taken of the 3 of them and I can't believe these 3 beautiful children are all mine.

It is very busy at our house though. 2 to 3 children is a big transition insofar as washing and housework goes (probably because you have much less time devote to everything). Going out is a logistical nightmare and shopping centres are a no-go (although that's probably more to do with a difficult 3 year old then anything). But I've joined the local gym and steal a few hours a week in the evening to do swimming and pilates and so still have a little Me time.

Don't listen to others (unless they've been there and done that). They're not the ones having the baby and raising it. It's not easy to ignore all the negative comments but you have to if it means enough to you (I'm surely going to face it in a few years time when we go back for a fourth!)

[Funkychicken]

Hi Debbie,

In case you didn't get back to your other thread on this-here is a link to a similar thread including my post.:D

http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php? (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?)
p=298106#post298106

[FourAngelKisses]

We had 2 kids, 4 and 5, and we weren't planning on having any more because of cost (we were trying to save a deposit for a house and almost had our car paid off) and because of the kids health issues that they were born with. BUT, I fell pregnant on the pill and the whole world stopped, lol. We had to buy a bigger car, so we are now in debt again until Matthew starts school. We did manage to buy a house when he was 6mths old, but the cost of rates etc has caused us to go backwards rather than forwards.
Now that he is older and I have 2 kids at school, things are settling down. I now do 3 loads of washing a day instead of 2, my grocery bill has gone through the roof and I don't have much time to myself between 6am and 8pm. Really only in the 3hrs when he sleeps in the middle of the day, but I use it for housework.


All that said, I don't regret having him at all. I say go for it!!! I'm wanting to go back for a 4th one now, I just have to talk my husband into it.

[Hokey Pokey]

We are planning a 3rd end of the year :D

[tyhleigha & izaiah's mum]

i recon if your partner and yourself want another child i recon go for it
my partner and i will be ttc for # 3 at the end of this year or beginning of next year

[Binkstar]

Hi, I think most of all that as humans we are adaptable creatures and when
I was expecting bub#2 I thought and worried how will we cope but I don't know it hasn't hit me yet. But I will say that we have not announced to anyone fearing the 'Wasn't having two enough!' sermon. :smiliedance: All the best to all!

[anita_fairy]

Have another one!!! You know you want to. And dont listen to what everyone else is telling you. yoiu have your own mind and your own ideas and opinions and you know what is truly best for you. Yes kids cost money but there are ways to minimize the costs of daily living that you will surely adapt to such as bulk buying food, handing down clothes etc. You will find a way!!! Lastly, personally I think three kids is uneven. you have the chance of the middle child having middle child syndrome so i would be going four kids to even it out.

[hellsbells]

We're ttc my brother and sil have 4, with the latest just 5mths. They started with twins, so anything after that was easy, they say. I'd always wanted 4, I am 1 of 4, but didn't find DH soon enough, so will run out of time. It's like everything, your lifestyle adjusts, you do what you can and not the rest. Surprisingly though, their kids don't miss out on much, but Mum & Dad may. So you don't get that new Plasma TV, does it really matter?

[WDT]

I am amazed that anyone would think three kids is too many. I always wanted three, never had any second thoughts and had not had any negative comments until recently. On a holiday a women I got chatting too kept introducing me as "this poor woman" cos I have three boys. Gee I wanted to hit her. Three is a good number - still fit in a normal car, family holidays mostly cater for up to five. There are three years between my last two and that is great on one hand cos the two older boys are toilet trained, feeding themselves etc, but I worry that baby no 3 is going to be left out so now I am trying to decide on whether to try for a girl and make us a family of six!!:eek:

[iluvmeboyz]

i want to have another baby myself but had one 6 months ago and i kneed my body to recover which generlly takes 2 yrs and i have a medical problem so once that is sorted out then i want another baby i want to try for a girl cant wait

[BaDaBing]

I feel the same way. I have two boys 3yrs and 7mnths and I long for a girl. It is such a hard decision to make.:confused: However I think if you are asking yourself whether to have another, deep down you know the answer otherwise it wouldn't be a question.

I know it is hard work having a baby in the house but to tell you the truth that part doesn't worry me. Its more the finances and the fact that I haven't finished my degree and then I have to go on to do another 18months study for my CA.

A note to CIPO slave.
You sound like a wonderful mum and stepmum, it nice that you really care for your stepdaughter. Speaking from experience it can be really hard being a stepdaughter as alot of stepmums out there are jealous for some reason. A young person picks up on this which leaves emotional scares. You sound like you have really welcomed her into your life and that is something she will treasure forever even if she never knows it. You are an inspiration.

Sharn :)

[babytoo]

Gosh this is hard isnt it?? I have a 4yo boy and a 4 month girl...my feelings are mixed...I am so happy that I have 2 perfect children and the pidgeon pair as well but.....I feel sad that I will never have another child again! Deep down I think that in a few years time I would love another baby, but finances would not allow it and also DH says no way. He is booking in for his vasectomy next week which makes it all so final! I'm really mixed with feelings.....

[FourAngelKisses]

Wow, that is very final. *hugs* Have you told Dh how you feel, maybe he willdecide to think things over for a few more years before having the snip.

[babytoo]

We've talked it over...but he is dead set and nothing will change his mind:no: Its really really sad that I feel this way and there is nothing that I can do about it...but then again maybe I am just being selfish!

[FourAngelKisses]

My DH is considering a 4th baby, but I told him that if he was that against having another, he would have had a vasectomy 3yrs ago when I found out I was pregnant with Matthew (who was conceived on the pill.) :laughing:

I can't imagine knowing that I couldn't have any more, I think I would be devastated. :(

[mumof3sons]

I just had my 3rd son 6 m ago and love it we are going for our 4th next year. My two eldest boys adore there little brother and my family couldnt imagine not having him. Yes costs do go up but there are plenty of ways to save on everything u just have to shop around. We had to upgrade our car and are now saving for a bigger house, if u are prepared to sacrifice a little in some areas for a while u still can have most things. and it really is so much fun with 3,yes it does get very noisy and there is lots of extra washing but it does get a little easier each day.:thumbsup: