A shy toddler or a snob?

[SEA]

Ok I have an almost 3 year old toddler that never says hello to anyone even her own Aunts and Uncles (only a few select get a smile, and if they are lucky she will offer her cheek for a kiss).
My hubby and I are still pondering as to why she is like this and how we can fix it.
She gets shy around people she's never met, she doesn't like crowded places, clings to me or hubby. She doesn't answer when people talk to her, but when she's at home she's a very differnt girl, she talks non-stop even in her sleep, and she likes to speak on the phone to anyone. Lately she's been really clingy to me, if I have to go out without her she will cry and won't let me out of the house, the past few nights she's been waking up in the middle of the night crying out for me. I don't know if she's going through a phase (I hope so). I don't want people to think that we don't teach her proper manners etc. because we do, she always says please and thank you and can be quite charming at times when we have visitors.
Is anyone in the same boat?
Also she doesn't like the Doctors, the Dentist and the Maternal Health Nurse. She cries when we have to go to the Doc and Dentist and she hides behind me when we go to the Nurse.....:(

[PunkyDiva]

I would prob be talking to a Professional as although it may be a "stage" it also sounds like she doesn't like things, places or people outside her comfort zone which can be an indicator of some problem.

So don't stress, maybe chat with some mums of special need kids on here (I'm sure you will get some answers in the morning) but def get her checked out as IF there is a problem the earlier you get diagnosis then the earlier you can start treatments, management, understanding etc.

[bAaM]

My 20 month old is like that, sometimes she will say hello to ppl but then other times she wont, she even runs away from my mum.

Sometimes when ppl talk to her its like she looks right through them.

I am not worried about it yet, she goes back to daycare once a week in a few weeks so i will see how she goes then.

I think my DD is from seperation issues from myself, I hate leaving her and hardly ever do only going down the road, I get like panic attacks dont know why cause i dont get it with my son but he is 7 and in school. But i think that is why she is the way she is.

[MrsMiggins]

I think the doctor issue could well be a separate thing. My DD is extremely outgoing, however until recently she balked at going to the Dr/dentist etc and wouldn't let them anywhere near her. Getting her ears/eyes/teeth etc checked was a traumatic experience.

I read an article recently about children who are over-sensitive & these children often had issues with noisy or overcrowded environments. Does your DD also seem to have a heightened sense of pain or discomfort? Do the straps on her car seat, or the lace trim on her socks etc cause her a lot of discomfort? Is it the end of the world if she bumps her knee or something minor like that? (Well, more than any other over-dramatic toddler! :laughing:) Sometimes people are worried that these may be indicators of autistic tendancies, however they can just be due to heightened sensitivity according to the article I was reading. On the plus side, these children showed lots of compassion & were also often very caring, gentle and loving.

Then again, it could also just be part of her being a normal toddler!

[TwoGems]

My 2 yr old dd doesn't say hello (as we arrive) or goodbye (as we leave) to anyone at daycare. She is at times quite shy, sensitive and clingy. At home she is a different girl and once 'warmed up' can be quite gorgeous with new visitors. I am not worried about her behaviour and in fact am quite pleased because these are her ways of letting us know how she feels (sad, weary, angry et al) and not pretending to be otherwise.

[Hollywood]

It sort of sounds to me like it's just her unique personality, because obviously you're doing a good job with teaching her good manners. Maybe it will just take a bit longer for her to start saying hello and all that stuff.

My 20 month old is a little chatterbox, and says hello to everyone (even strangers as we pass them in the street :o), and even wants to kiss goodbye the checkout operators at supermarkets (not that I let him, I try to make him reserve the affection for people he knows). But I don't know if he's like that because of us or if it's just his personality. We always encourage him to say hello to children in the playground, and as we leave shops/visits/etc I say "Say goodbye" and we wave as we leave, with him saying "Say bye bye :wave:". I kind of suspect it's just his personality, he takes after DH a bit who is also a bit of a charmer.

[Deserama]

Some people are just shy. And they are shy from the moment of birth! This is a personality trait that some people have and some don't. There's certainly nothing wrong with being shy.

[Ana Gram]

DD is almost 5 and will not talk to anyone she doesn't now well without much prompting from me. People often think she is just rude :(

[Pax]

Everyone is born with the personality they are given.. in adults you get shy, quiet, loud, outgoing, introvert etc etc etc..

Your child's personality is who they are.. dont give a **** what other people feel or think. just support your child and let them be themselves.

[Baburun]

I don't know if this helps at all but from what I've since been told by my parents, thats exactly what I was like when I was little!
I understand it must hurt if people think she's rude or a snob because I realised people thought that about me when I was a teenager, because I was too shy to say hello or maintain conversation.
Anyway, overall I turned out fine (I think!), I'm still pretty shy around strangers at 22 but its never stopped me from being happy or making friends or anything like that.
I'm might be just a phase for your little one, and even if its not, I'm sure she'll still turn out great! At least she loves and feels safe with her mum, so you must be doing a pretty good job! :)

[AM]

Everyone is born with the personality they are given.. in adults you get shy, quiet, loud, outgoing, introvert etc etc etc..

Your child's personality is who they are.. dont give a **** what other people feel or think. just support your child and let them be themselves.

Totally agree.

I think in this day and age we seem to be so quick to freak out about any deviation from the norm, and want to 'fix' our children all the time...Just let them be who they are... (This is a general comment, not directed at the OP :))

[SEA]

Thank you to you all for giving me peace of mind. I guess I just needed to hear from other parents that my child is "normal" and that this could be just a toddler phase.
I know it's not medically related because she really is just a typical little girl when she is with us or with people she is familiar with. Or she picks her favourite people previleged enough to have a conversation with :D for that week and the following week she will ignore them and pick someone else.
I do feel alot better now that I've read the posts and I've also borrowed a few books on toddler behaviours, which in her case, is quite normal. :wave:

[kayla]

sounds like a stage she is going through and hopefully she will out grow it soon, i know every child has their stages like the terrible 2 and naughty 4 - hugs for you :hugs::flowerz: