I secretly want another one!

[polony]

I have been with DP for about a year and a half and we have talked about having a baby. He definately wants one of his own as he loves DD but, y'know, he wants to experience the whole thing. I want another one too. I want a sibling for DD. She is turning 4 in May next year and so the age gap is getting bigger and bigger. I don't want it to get too big!

Lately I have been hearing my clock ticking loudly, so much so that I am considering talking to DP about it. Thing is, I still have 1 year left of my degree and I should really really finish it. I should also get myself financially secure before considering another one. It makes me sad because by the time that happens, it will be 5 years down the track and the gap between DD and bubs would be huge.

I just wish there was a magical answer :crying:

[lukaelmo]

How about looking at it from another perspective? If DD is older when you have another baby, she'll want, and be able, to help out with her new little brother or sister...

[polony]

Good point lukaelmo...

It would be nice for DD to have a brother or sister now though as I think it would level her a bit more as right now, the world revolves around her. I think she needs a bit of "dragging back to earth" :laughing:

But yes, she could be very helpful if she is older with a sibling...

[PinkBinkie]

I'm the middle child and my younger sis is 5 years younger than me. We get along brilliantly and always have. Always played together, annoyed each other, the normal sibling stuff. Not we're in our 20's doesn't seem like any difference at all. I think a 5-6 year gap works really well.

[sparkle5301]

I have 9 years between my oldest and youngest, and it's wonderful! Having a newborn baby, with and 8 year old and a 9 year old to help out (which they loved doing because it made them feel so grown up), was so much easier, and I enjoyed bub much more. Now my daughter is 17 and my son is almost 8, and she spoils him so much. They are very close and share lots of little secrets. I would go the big age gap every time!

[MummyStar]

I agree to firstly talk to your DP as you'll be in this together & he might not realise that you would even consider having a Baby before completing your Degree. You sound pretty dedicated to your study & practical since you mentioned finances so I'm sure that you would complete your Degree after having a Baby. If there's too many reasons not to than the age gap between DD1 & Baby#2 will get bigger & bigger but easy for me to say that as I'm not completing a Degree. DP might be over the moon & keen to start now & discuss the finance side of things so it could work? DD is old enough to be a big help to you now. There's lots of "should do's" but you also should do what will make you, DP & DD happy, you can always return to study but I do agree that you need to be in a financial situation that you're both comfortable with.

[daninihill]

I dont think that an extra year will be a big problem you can always try to get pregnant in that year so that bubs is born once you have finished.
Good luck

[mothertobein2007]

i would finish your degree first then ttc. or as someone said get pregnant near the end of it.
i hope everything works out for you:fingerscrossed::goodvibes:

[maybe1more]

If you have year left, maybe you could start TTC (after you have talk to you DP of course:D) in about 6 months time? Then you`ll be able to do both!!! You could be in your last few months of pregancy after your have finshed you degree and then you can relax knowing you have finishes it, and enjoy the rest of your pregancy:flowerz: Best of luck

[mim1]

You're still young, not even 30 if I do my calculations right ... so I say wait til you've finished study. Study with babies is extremely difficult (as you probably know) and you're so close to finishing it would be great to get it out of the way. Then, when bubs is 6 months old you can start doing some part time work and earn some money :).

I've got a 5 1/2 year age gap between me and my youngest brother and we get along well. I was a big help to mum with him and as soon I hit 18 I was driving him everywhere much to my parents delight (7am starts to cricket on a Saturday were a shocker!). BTW, that was a 'privilege' of having a car according to my parents. Now, we've both got children the same age and the gap between us has evaporated.

We babysat our friend's daughter (5 years old at the time) quite a bit when my ds was under 1 and she was such a big help. She was play with him, sing him songs and read him books. It's a potentially great age gap!