Adjusting bubs from day to night perceptions

[Nomsie]

Linc and Beau aren't a week old yet, so you may think this is premature.. but I'm losing my mind... :crying:

How do you adjust bubs perceptions from day/night.. as in they think day is night and night is day due to movements in the womb etc?

The boys sleep brilliantly during the day, infact it's nearly all they do apart from dirty nappies and suck me dry..

...and then at night, they are awake for ages, always trying to get on the boob (is THAT normal?) and just crying to get me out of bed because I think they like seeing me suffer. (Ok maybe a bit melodramatic, but it's neary 3am here and I haven't slept.) :no:

They will fall asleep on the boob or in my arms, but as soon as I leave them in their cot and go to bed myself, one of them will start whinging. Tried doing a 10:30pm dream feed, but it didn't have the desired effect...

I'm just so sad right now... I want those euphoric hormones back so I can get through the days a bit easier... :gloomy:

[~Temet Nosce~]

Ah the first week baby blues.. it sucks :hugs: and times 2 for you :hugs:
unfortunatly I think most babies just learn by themselves when night is day and day is night etc.. I can't remember when dd did it but one night she just started sleeping better, it was around 8 weeks maybe.
Could you try keeping them awake for longer periods during the day? Just make sure they don't get overtired..

[Pina Colada]

:hugs: I agree with Amethyst - I think it is something that will happen naturally. But I think if you keep the days bright, and chatty (you know, chat to them when they are feeding), and the nights dark (use a dull nightlight when feeding) and quiet, that might help speed up the process.

You have twins hon. You are a star. Hang in there :hugs:

[reAllytee]

Oh hun ive been wondering how you are !!!!!

Take some of these :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Its around this time that the baby blues set in so try to take it easy & take all the offerings of help etc you can.

During the day try to keep them awake that little bit longer each time they do awake, keep them in the sun - not direct but just where sun/ light shines in the windows etc. The more you do this the more it encourages them to change over slowly but surely.

They are going to stay attached to you for what seems like forever & its going to send you nuts some days .... Have you got a HAB ? They are great cause they can allow you to carry both boys which you may find settles them enough at those moments when they are necessarily wanting a feed but more mum's comfort iykwim.

Take it easy on yourself & let everything else slide & deal with the boys ... The house can wait its no biggie. Sleep when you can which I know isnt always easy because just as one is asleep one will probably wake but if you can lay in bed & feed because that way at least you are getting some rest.

They are just beautiful hun just beautiful !

[Nomsie]

Thanks so much..

You're right, I am very teary at the moment. My mum just told me she will come and stay a couple of nights to help out and I burst into a big fit of tears I was so grateful. Teary now just writing about it.

I have started to really talk to them during the day and I am encouraging DP to do the same. We keep them in their room with the curtains open or the loungeroom during the day, and yeah like you said in the dark at night.

I called my aunt who is a maternity nurse working in a sleep school this morning for help on them wanting to feed all night, and she said it's prob cause they can smell my milk, which means DP will have to get up to them more frequently to try and settle them... nerve wracking, because he can be very grumpy and short tempered at night...

Thanks for the hugs, I really do appreaciate the support. :hugs:

[Myztik]

OMG I missed the birht announcement!! Congratualtions hun :D :hugs:

Yay for mum coming to help out.

[~Temet Nosce~]

Aren't mums great :D
unfortunatly your dp is going to have to get used to it! He signed up to being a parent too not just you ;)

[Funtimes]

Both my boys had their days/nights figured out by the time they were 1-2wks old. Do as everyone else suggested and they will get the hang of it in no time. :yes:

[Nomsie]

OMG I missed the birht announcement!! Congratualtions hun :D :hugs:

Yay for mum coming to help out.

It wasn't announced :o

I will write up their birth story asap... maybe after I get some sleep... have Beau in my arms at the moment, a bit hard to type up that size a post! :)

Thanks Amethyst :)

[Bron]

Oh! Congratulations!!!!:yelclap::yelclap::yelclap:

I echo much of the rest of the advice. The first few weeks are really hard, it's true. During the day, I made loads of noise, even when DS was asleep. We had music on, I chatted to him, when I fed him I sang songs. Lots of bright lights and reasons to party.

At night I didn't talk to him at all, I fed him in a dark room (well as dark as I could manage) I resisted the temptation to turn on the TV when feeding. I wouldn't even meet his eye if he needed his nappy changed. He got day and night sorted out pretty quickly that way.

[Nomsie]

I think I have been overstimulating them at night then... just talking to them quietly etc... ok... this is all very helpful... keep it coming! :)

[DoubleDelight]

Sweetie you have my sympathy. The first few weeks are really really tough until you can get them into a pattern.

I found having my Mum around in those early days as well as DP was a godsend. It does getter better.

Congratulations on becoming a Multiple Mummy, enjoy your Double Loving.

[Nomsie]

Thanks... I think I should have researched this a little more before they arrived- I forgot that they would be this difficult...! :)

[SuperGranny]

hi, i found my girls fed every three hours 24 hours around the clock, so there was no need to bother with the night time /daytime difference. I just did what i could when i felt like it, and that included washing, cleaning cooking, and sleeping if it was possible. the three hourly feeds continued for four months, and after their first month i was giving them baby solids also. It is not easy, but it can be done, many thanks for any help you can get. Good luck, Marie.

[*Chels*]

oH YAY CONGRATS!!
My bub was born a day after yours,he sleeps for like a whole 4 hours in one block from 11-3pm.I think it does take awhile for them to get their acts together:yes:everyone has given good advice.
I am BFing,and I hate dummies but have decided to use one occasionally,to give the boobies a break.If Gray has had a decent feed on both sides and still wants to suck,I just give him dummy to settle him.
But just remember its 2 different types of sucking between boob and dummy so it can interfer with BFing.
Oh and so get DH up to help during the night.:cool:

[becca022]

I'm going through the same thing with my 12 day old, she's brilliant through the day, but terrible at night.
Last night we managed to get her to sleep for 4 hours by wrapping her tight & cuddled her in bed.
Good luck.

[BabelFish]

If they are sleeping so well during the day, too, could you try to sleep when they do? At least that way you would be more armed for their night time adventures.

I read that babies start working out days / nights at about three months of age - so hopefully anything you can do before then will help.

Good luck to you - I always wanted twins but now that I know how hard it is just to have one I take my hat off to anyone who does have twins! Congratulations, by the way, and hang in there :hugs:

[Love is all you need]

Firstly congratulations :smiliedance: They are gorgeous boys!

I agree with a PP who said they can smell milk on you, DD was like that for the first two weeks and after me settling her for the first week and getting so emotional and tired DP went and settled her and she went back to sleep.

Also your mum coming over will be great.

The other thing we used to help DD adjust to going back to sleep at night (apart from the light / darkness) was called a slumber bear it mimics the sounds the baby heard in the womb and can be activated so if they stir it goes again for another 5 mins to settle them.

It worked with DD from about 3 weeks (when we got it) till she was about 8 weeks old and then she didn't need it. If you google slumber bear there should be a website it's through prince lionheart.

HTH but I think you are doing all the right things to try and help :thumbsup:

[Mischief]

Oh! Congratulations!!!!:yelclap::yelclap::yelclap:

I echo much of the rest of the advice. The first few weeks are really hard, it's true. During the day, I made loads of noise, even when DS was asleep. We had music on, I chatted to him, when I fed him I sang songs. Lots of bright lights and reasons to party.

At night I didn't talk to him at all, I fed him in a dark room (well as dark as I could manage) I resisted the temptation to turn on the TV when feeding. I wouldn't even meet his eye if he needed his nappy changed. He got day and night sorted out pretty quickly that way.
:iagree:

Bron did exactly what we did. :) I wish someone had given me that advice when we had Oliver. It was about 6 weeks before I read about this...!!!

They really do sort it out. Remember eye contact stimulates their brain, thus why you should avoid it at night. I thought it seemed so cruel not to look at the bub, but it does work! :)

[Mischief]

:iagree:

Bron did exactly what we did. :) I wish someone had given me that advice when we had Oliver. It was about 6 weeks before I read about this...!!!

They really do sort it out. Remember eye contact stimulates their brain, thus why you should avoid it at night. I thought it seemed so cruel not to look at the bub, but it does work! :)
Oh and PS. Even if you dont belive in routines (not sure if you do or not)... Id really recommend getting the book Save Our Sleep by Tizzie Hall out from the library and having a read of it.

She has some great info in there about helping to settle your child and understanding the different cries. Ie, food, sleep, cuddles needed... :) Was a lifesaver for us!

[BabelFish]

Tizzie Hall's advice is great if your baby will accept it. I would have loved to put Poppy into a routine but she was a demand feeder and a demand sleeper and that was that no matter what we did. She's 13 weeks now and found a routine of her own a few weeks ago. It's such a relief when they finally do that!

I agree about the smelling the milk thing. I was completely unable to settle Poppy the other night until my folks came over to babysit and took her off me, whereupon she fell asleep within five minutes. I think when they can smell you and the milk but they're not hungry or overtired and they don't know what they want, it can really upset them.

You're doing great honey. Be kind to yourself - this is a huge challenge and they're only a week old. In a few weeks you'll be such an old hand you will wonder where the time went and want your tiny babies back again :hugs:

[Nomsie]

Thanks guys- the kind words and encouragement has made me feel all :goodvibes:

[mumoftwogirls]

Hi Nomsie

I was feeling exactly like you a few weeks ago - we've just past 6 weeks and for 4 days have done 10, 2/3 and 6/7 so feel like we have turned corner! hang in there, she did this by herself.

[lizzymcfizzy]

HI Nomsie congratulations on your little darlings! hang in there. its is hard work but you will pull through.

Just wanted to comment on the night feeds, please don't stop feeding them at night at such a young age if thats what you are consdering! breastfeeding sucks your energy. don't forget to drink lots of water before/during or after feeding to replenish you.

I cant' imagine how hard twins would be having only had one myself but your boobs and mummy are their comfort source. you will soon feel the difference between drinking and comfort sucking. A dummy might help them soothe when you feel them comfort sucking and not drinking.

i promise you this - it WILL get easier! be patient, put up with it as long as you can by reminding yourself that it won't last forever :)

ignore all the housework, it can wait. sleep cant.

I know bubs can get nipple confusing if you introduce a bottle to early but expressing milk might help you get some much needed rest.



I hope that helps!