highly sensitive child, terrified of everyone!

[mummy and bailey]

Please help!

My little 2 year old boy is terrified of everyone! when a stranger comes anywhere near him he'll bear hug my leg. When we take him to the park or play area's in shopping malls he won't play on the equipment unless he's within arms reach of me. When a child, older or smaller goes towards him, he'll run away.

It breaks my heart to see him so terrified of other kids, especially when they are all so happy playing and jumping on each other. I've taken him to playgroup and he's both scared and uninterested in the other children. I just don't know what to do.

louise

[mum2maddy]

Hi,
I can relate to your story and just want to let you know you're not the only one.

DD was and always has been terrified of other kids. Adults she was ok with after about half an hour of warming up but kids, well, they freaked her out.

She has been going to daycare a couple of days a week since she was 12 months old and was one of the last kids in the group to start interacting with the other kids. I think she started playing and not being scared of them when she was almost 3.

Her daycare teachers say she picks the "quiet" kids to play with and stays away from the boisterous ones. Apparently they are too erratic for her or something.

I would suggest maybe setting up some play dates with other quiet kids of the same age or older (older kids are more likely to respect the personal space of your sensitive boy - once they've been instructed to ofcourse).

DD still takes about an hour to warm up to kids who shes met a hundred times. But once she's warmed up she goes bananas with them and has a ball. She still wont play on park equiptment when there are other kids there except for at daycare.

It is important that you offer lots support to your son and make sure you don't try to get him into situations that make him more fearful. That was a mistake I made with DD - I was always trying to get her to play because all the other kids were. It just made her more clingy and less likely to play in the end.

Your DS will come around eventually, in the meantime just let him watch.

Cheers
Ange

[Benji]

:yes: My boy is the same, so was my brother apparantly. I was the queen of attention though.

I just figure it means they're not ready for things like daycare without mum or dad. I wouldn't do anything to "force" my boy to interact.

I've been taking him to kindergym and swimming and I find they are great because he gets to hang out with children, but know he's safe with mummy there with him.

Don't stress about it. Perfectly normal for a lot of children :)