Rubyzz
18-10-2008, 11:50
Hi everyone,
Was wondering how each of you have worked out your arrangements for care/vistitation etc with the FOB, and such things as did you have to go to court or did you work it out between you.
I have a six month old daughter, our relatioship broke down when I was pregnant and I moved 2.5hrs away to my family for support for remainder of pregnancy up until now. FOB did ctake time off work and come up to area to help with the new baby for four months which Im very thankful for as she was a very unsettled reflux baby. She is all good now and FOB has returned to city to start work again and is not taking us with him. Now he all of a sudden is dropping bombshells and saying I better co-operate with what he wants in visitation or he can take me to court and they can make me move back to where our relationship was, which would suit him better?? Hell, is this correct? I said to him I doubt it, its not like we were married or living together, had a baby and I up and moved, that I could understand. He is also saying things like he wont be able to get up here much while he works and has other children he shares custody off from a previous divorce so instead he should be able to take her for holidays. Hmmm Im having trouble with all this talk, mainly because of her age, I want her to have a good relationship with her father but I dont want to screw her up either. I dont think he should not see her much and then all of a sudden whisk her away for long periods, the thought she doesnt understand what is happening and Im gone all of a sudden is too much, surely there are some age appropriate solutions for younger children babies until they can handle more and feel secure in the arrangements. Id like a developmental plan that we adjust as she gets older and we can try things and then go forward or step back depending on the childs response. Im so stressed over what might happen if we cant agree on something, we will end up in court and there will be no flexibilty.
Anyway let me know what you all have done, does anyone live a far distance from father and have a baby or small child and how are you working it out?
Was wondering how each of you have worked out your arrangements for care/vistitation etc with the FOB, and such things as did you have to go to court or did you work it out between you.
I have a six month old daughter, our relatioship broke down when I was pregnant and I moved 2.5hrs away to my family for support for remainder of pregnancy up until now. FOB did ctake time off work and come up to area to help with the new baby for four months which Im very thankful for as she was a very unsettled reflux baby. She is all good now and FOB has returned to city to start work again and is not taking us with him. Now he all of a sudden is dropping bombshells and saying I better co-operate with what he wants in visitation or he can take me to court and they can make me move back to where our relationship was, which would suit him better?? Hell, is this correct? I said to him I doubt it, its not like we were married or living together, had a baby and I up and moved, that I could understand. He is also saying things like he wont be able to get up here much while he works and has other children he shares custody off from a previous divorce so instead he should be able to take her for holidays. Hmmm Im having trouble with all this talk, mainly because of her age, I want her to have a good relationship with her father but I dont want to screw her up either. I dont think he should not see her much and then all of a sudden whisk her away for long periods, the thought she doesnt understand what is happening and Im gone all of a sudden is too much, surely there are some age appropriate solutions for younger children babies until they can handle more and feel secure in the arrangements. Id like a developmental plan that we adjust as she gets older and we can try things and then go forward or step back depending on the childs response. Im so stressed over what might happen if we cant agree on something, we will end up in court and there will be no flexibilty.
Anyway let me know what you all have done, does anyone live a far distance from father and have a baby or small child and how are you working it out?